Space Pirates
by illman
Summary: Space Pirates, Drugs and the Wraith — One careless moment changes the lives of Sheppard and his team forever. COMPLETE
1. Kidnapped

_Title: Space Pirates_

_Author: Illman_

_Category: gen, h/c, action/adventure_

_Beta: Wish I had one, but I don't. All the grammar mishaps and misspellings are my own. Feel free to point out if I butchered the English language too badly._

_Date: 01/01/2005_

_Warnings: violence, reference to torture, darkfic_

_Disclaimer: It's their universe, not mine._

_Summary: Sheppard gets kidnapped by alien space pirates. The rescue mission doesn't go exactly as planned._

_Author's Notes: Slightly revised version of the first chapter._

Another hour. McKay glanced at his watch and sighed. Time seemed to have slowed down to a crawl. He'd never been that eager and at the same time been that nervous to leave for a mission through the Stargate. No matter how much he tried, all he could think about was the mission and its possible outcomes. Scenarios full of hope, scenarios full of dread. Realism pushed him to the darker, more dreadful versions of the mission.

* * *

_Three weeks ago, they had been on the interplanetary version of a market. Dozens of races were there, trading everything, from food to the most obscure devices. Things had been going along well. Teyla who had been to many such markets before handled their transactions gracefully and managed to acquire a device that was clearly based on Ancient technology. It had started to glow as soon as Major Sheppard touched it. McKay had been extremely fascinated by one of the traders demonstration two crystal like spheres which created a small force field between them. He'd just been about to ask the merchant a question when a roaring noise and panicked screams made him turn around, wondering what the commotion was all about. _

_A ship was hovering low in the sky. Having seen the ship of the Goa'uld, it wasn't very big, but still, it's presence seemed unwelcome. People were running, abandoning their merchandise. Although the danger was unknown to him, he decided to follow their example and run of the jumper. He had lost sight of his team mates at the market, but figured they'd head for the jumper as well. They had landed quite a bit away from the village and he had to pause for a moment to catch his breath, when he was half-way to the clearing on which they had landed. Allowing his body to get some much needed oxygen, he saw Teyla sprint past him. Behind her was Major Sheppard who stopped at his side, asking whether he was all right. He was about to nod, when a searing pain ripped through him, making his knees buckle beneath him, sending him to the ground. He hardly noticed, the pain overriding all other sensation. He heard the major yell something, felt hands touch him, then nothing._

_He had woken up two days later in the Atlantis infirmary. That's when he learned that the major had been captured by the aliens that had attacked. By the time a rescue time had been formed and gotten to the planet, the aliens were gone and nobody knew or if they know wouldn't tell them, were they could find those aliens. There wasn't much else that they could do. Major Sheppard was officially MIA, but everybody knew that unless he made it back on his own, his chances were slim to none. McKay couldn't accept that. Officially of course he did, but personally, he didn't. He knew the odds of stumbling upon the right planet were astronomical, he was smart after all. It wouldn't hurt to ask the people they met of they had ever heard of the space pirating aliens as he had come to call them. When he had asked Lieutnant Ford to do just that while he was recovering from his leg injury, the lieutenant was more than happy to do something to find his CO. _

_For three weeks nothing, then finally, the Sivians had been able to tell them more. They had been ambushed by these aliens several times. The space pirating aliens were actually a nomadic tribe who, according to local lore, had been banished from their home world generations ago and now made a living by plundering other planets. According to the Sivians, they had kidnapped people on previous occasions, although always to get ransom from tribe of whoever they were holding. The Sivians had also been able to provide them with the location of the last known location of the pirates.

* * *

_

McKay got up from his chair and started pacing. They had never gotten any demand for ransom. So would did they want with the major? A prisoner would be only getting in the way of a nomadic people.

He checked his watch again. Ten minutes. Time to get going. No matter what happened, he'd do all he could.

* * *

So far everything had been going according to plan. Security wasn't too heavy in the makeshift camp of the pirates and their version of a prison lay slightly removed from the main camp, making it even easier for them to remain undetected. Invaders were not a worry of the pirates. Stackhouse was keeping an eye on the happening in the camp. Something was definitely going on there, but as long as it kept them busy and therefore prevented them from noticing their presence, he didn't care.

Ford, McKay and Teyla were progressing through the ruins of what had once been a prospering city. The sun was setting fast, making them harder to detect, but also hampering their search on unfamiliar group. McKay was getting nervous. It was taking to long. Eventually someone was going to notice them stumbling around. He looked up and saw Ford wave his hand, signalling him and Teyla to come over. Apparently Ford had found something. Taking a closer look, a stairwell, leading to a preserved basement of the ruins. The ceiling was low and the corridor narrow. McKay hated places like that. Two rooms branched off at each side before the corridor took a sharp bend. Without exchanging words they split up, each checking a room. At first he thought the room was empty, but when he already had his back turned already, he thought he'd heard something, the sound of a movement. McKay turned back, this time thoroughly checking the room. This time he saw him, hidden from the casual observer behind crates, boxes, canisters and other random chunk. Even though he had tried to prepare himself for this moment by imagining all kinds of scenarios, it still hit him hard. There was a difference between imagining and seeing it in reality. The major was lying on the stone floor, curled away from however came into the room. He kneeled down next to him.

"John?" he asked softly, keeping his voice down to avoid attracting unwanted attention.

He didn't get a reply. Worried, he reached out to check the major's pulse. But as soon as he made physical contact, Major Sheppard lunged at him, throwing him down to the floor. Sharp, stinging pain erupted in his face, neck and chest, before he could even react. Caution was forgotten as he cried out in pain, an instinctively tried to free himself from under the major and flee. Another heavy blow knocked him in the chest, leaving him gasping for air. He heard voice and gunshots getting louder. For a second, he saw a dark shape above, then all went dark.

The basement seemed to have been mainly used for storage. Some of the items clearly predated the current occupants of the planet, other items had clearly been put there fairly recently. So far, no guards and no sigh of the major. Ford and Teyla carefully approached the bend in the corridor. Ford gave Teyla a questioning look. She just shrugged. She didn't know where McKay was either. If he had found their missing CO, he surely would have let them know. A pained cry disrupted the silence, followed by two more in quick succession, then it was silent again. They couldn't tell for sure, but it had sounded like McKay. Ford signalled Teyla to wait and watch out for any guards that might have been attracted by the noise. He went back the narrow corridor, as fast as he could without making noise. He hadn't made more then three steps when he heard gunfire, four shots being fired rapidly. The aliens knew they were here. That meant that they had very little time left before they would sure the fate of their CO. Forcing himself not to look back, he proceeded towards to room McKay had been checking out. Unsure what to expect, he approached with caution.

The guard was no longer moving. Sheppard crawled off his legs and took his weapon, which made a far more effective means of self defence than the shard of broken glass that he had used to attack the guard that had come to take him. Supporting himself on a crate, he struggled to get to his feet, his knees unwilling. He hardly noticed the bloody handprints he left on everything he touched. The shard of glass had left cuts on his palms, where his own blood mixed with that of the guard. He was tired, the fight had used up his meagre reserves and the adrenaline rush was starting to wear off. But he couldn't give up now. Something was going on, he had heard the shot being fired. He eyed the door. He would be ready.

Something had changed. While they had been preparing to leave earlier, panic seemed to have broken out in the camp of the aliens. They were running around, carry supplies which were hastily loaded unto their ships. Stackhouse had no idea what had caused the sudden urgency until a blast, seemingly coming out of nowhere struck at the edge of the camp. The ground shuck violently, not unlike an earthquake and the tents and trees that had been in the blast radius burnt brightly against the dark sky. Time to get off this planet. On the upside, the aliens were more than distracted now, on the downside, whoever was attacking was not worrying about innocent bystanders.

He fired a shot at the figure standing in the doorway of the room. The bullet missed him by two inches at the most. He wiped his left hand on his pants, never letting go of the gun nor letting the dark figure out of his sight. His hold on the gun was slippery, the cuts on his hands were still bleeding. Looking at the figure made him notice that he looked familiar. He had seen him before in his dreams. Maybe he was dreaming right now, he had been very tired. But he couldn't be dreaming, his body hurt and there was never pain in his dreams.

He wasn't sure what to do next. His plans of escape had never gone that far. He had killed the guard when he had come to take him away to be sold, just like he had planed and practised in his mind over and over. But he had never thought about what to do next. Thinking was difficult. They were giving him something that messed with his mind. He no longer cared. He had his revenge. If he thought about it, all he really wanted was go back to his dreams. He had done that a lot lately. Maybe he'd fall asleep and not wake up again, never stop dreaming. But he couldn't do that now. He had to do something about the man standing there in the doorway.

"What do you want?" not having spoken in a while, it seemed strange to form the word

The man seemed confused.

"We just want to take you home. Dr. Beckett is waiting for us in the jumper, he's going to take care of you. We have all been worried about you."

Dr. Beckett, that was another person he remembered from his dreams.

"It's not real, you just want to sell me and you're afraid that I'll shot you."

Ford didn't know what to do. He didn't seem to be able to get through Sheppard. Whatever had been done to him had to influence his mind to the point where he didn't even recognize his team anymore. Ford glanced at McKay, lying still on the floor. It was too dark to make out whether he was still breathing. He hoped for both Sheppard and McKay that he was going to be all right. Sheppard would never forgive himself for harming any of his team.

"Can I have a look at him? He needs medical attention." Ford pointed towards McKay's body.

"He's dead." Sheppard replied coldly, his tone of voice sending a shiver through Ford. He had never seen the major like this. This side of him was normally hidden. It made him wonder what the major was capable of doing when in this state.

Suddenly the ground shock violently and the sound of an explosion filled the room. The ceiling rocked, but it held. Ford was thrown off his feet, landing on his front on the stone floor. Sheppard who had been sitting on a crate fell backwards, the gun sliding from his hands. Ford saw the gun at the same time as Sheppard. Sheppard was on his feet, while Ford was at a disadvantage being prone on the floor. Both men tried to lunge for the gun. Sheppard reached it first and immediately pointed it at Ford. Seeing the man's face up close, Sheppard recognized it. It was definitely one from his dreams. He touched his head, a futile gesture to order the chaos. Lately, the dreams had taken over and he had spent less and less times in the grim reality of his prison. Was he now starting to confuse the two?

Maybe he was losing his mind completely? He wondered what would happen if he just closed his eyes. The aliens would take him away and sell him on this galaxy's equivalent of a slave market. But the alien had said that he would take him home. Everything was confusing. His head had started to hurt. It was getting harder and harder to hold to gun steady. In a brief moment of clarity he realized that he couldn't win. He just wanted to go back to dreaming. His dreams were the only things that had kept him going through the seemingly endless series of identical days. He wasn't going to be anyone's property, sold like an animal. He recalled a male voice telling him that it was the coward's way out. But sometimes it was just the only way out.

As soon as Ford realized was Sheppard was about to do, he lunged towards him, determined to reach him before he could pull the trigger. Time seemed to have slowed down as his body slammed into Sheppard's bringing both of them down hard at the same time as the explosion of a shot made his ears ring. Ford's mind screamed in horror. This couldn't happen. He scrambled off the major, who was deathly still, blood on his face and running down the side of his neck. Frantically, Ford examined the right side of the major's head. It was hard to tell with the hair and the heavy bleeding, but it seemed to be that the bullet had merely grazed his skull instead of penetrating the bone. Now, they had to get out of here. Ford radioed the jumper for backup, and informed Beckett that he'd have two patients to deal with. While he was waiting for help to arrive, he checked on McKay, who luckily, in spite of Sheppard's claim to the contrary, was still alive. McKay sported several cuts and stab wounds, none of which seemed too deep. Blood was drying on his forehead, indicating that he had taken a hit to the head as well. When Ford tried to take a closer look at the head injury, McKay groaned and tried to shift away from the touch while raising his arms as if to protect himself from further injury to his head and face. Judging by the cuts and blood on his hands and lower arms, this wasn't the first time he'd done this. Ford put a hand on his shoulder, trying to calm him, but McKay flinched at the touch and rolled away from him, even though the movement clearly caused him pain.

Another explosion followed by a shock that rocked the ground. What was taking the rest of the rescue team that long? Teyla came running.

"We must leave, the corridor has already collapsed on one side. It will not hold up much longer."

Ford tried the radio again, but as before, he couldn't reach the rest of the rescue team or the jumper.

"We're a stationary target down here, one shot and we're dead. We have to go now, it's the only way." Bates argued.

"But we can't just leave them here!" Dr. Beckett protested.

"We're no good to anyone if we're dead." Bates replied harshly.

No one said a word as they took off. What should have been an easy rescue mission had turned into a disaster. Their sudden ascent had not gone unnoticed and the jumper rocked when an enemy missile struck its side.

Stackhouse, who was piloting, returned fire, while dodging a second missile. There was no way to defeat the unknown attackers, the Atlantis team was clearly outgunned, so their only hope was to escape while the enemy was still bombarding the settlement on the ground. Their plan seemed to be working. The enemy sent one more missile their way, but made no effort to chase them as they left the solar system. No one spoke much, besides what was necessary, the atmosphere in the jumper was tinged with defeat and guilt.

* * *

The briefing was long over, but Dr. Weir had yet to move from the chair she had been sitting in when she had listened to Sgt Bates' flat voice telling her in horrifying detail that four of her people were stranded in an alien war zone, their location and condition unknown. When she had taken this assignment she had know that there would be casualties. She thought she'd be prepared for it. She hadn't been, Colonel Sumner's death had made that clear to her. They would pay the price for setting the Wraith free, they would come eventually, it was only a matter of time. But this, it felt meaningless. As if the universe had been deliberately cruel.

This time, the missing were her friends and not to mention some the most valuable resources of the Atlantis expedition. McKay the brightest scientist they had, Sheppard was not only an excellent pilot, but he also had the strongest Ancient gene, Teyla possessed valuable knowledge of many worlds and their people in this galaxy and she was a vital link to the Athosians, Ford had a promising career ahead of himself. As much as she wanted to, she couldn't risk more lives by sending another team to search for them. According to Bates and his men all hell had broken lose on that planet. They had barely made it out alive. No one had said it, but there was a good chance that the missing team had died in the surface bombardment. Ford, McKay and Teyla had gone out to save one of their own, knowing the risks. They had been prepared to make the ultimate sacrifice for each other. It was a small consolation, but at least it gave their deaths meaning. _You don't know that they are dead,_ a part of her reminded her.

* * *

The bombardment had stopped. There hadn't been any new impacts in the last 20 minutes, and they hadn't noticed any other indication of an armed conflict either. Not knowing how many of the aliens had been killed or had fled the plant by ship, it was difficult to tell whether they would be safe in the ruins of what used to be a city, or whether they would have to retreat further into the forest, to the spot where they had hidden the puddle jumper before. Opting for the safer spot, they faced the task of moving their injured friends there without being detected. They had checked out the route and deemed to secure, but that didn't mean that an enemy patrol couldn't run into them. Ford was able to carry Sheppard over to their temporary shelter, but McKay posed more problems. Although he wasn't fully conscious, he was aware enough to fight against any attempt to touch him.

"Dr. McKay, it is us. Lt. Ford and me, Teyla. We are only here to help you. You have been injured. Please let us help you." Teyla tried to get through to McKay, but there was no reaction to her words. She gently put her hand on his. He withdrew his hand immediately, but Teyla maintained the connection and he let her.

"We have to get you out of here. It is not safe here. Lt. Ford and I will have to carry you. You just have to relax, I know it will hurt a bit." This time McKay nodded weakly in response. He still flinched when Teyla and Ford lifted him from the ground, but he didn't fight them anymore.

Exhausted they made it to their new campsite. It was secluded, but it would only be suitable for temporary shelter, if they were going to be on the planet for several days as it was likely. The trees were a poor protection from possible rain and there was no water source nearby. Too tired and worn out, Teyla and Ford decided to explore the planet further by daylight.

TBC


	2. Stranded

_**Space Pirates**_

_**Chapter 2**_

_A/N: Scenes written in italics represent dreams/nightmares. OCCness and generally bizarre events are intended in those scenes. This is by far not the most questionable, for lack of better word, piece that I have written, but definitely, the most questionable one that I have posted so far. If it's totally off let me know. _

Rodney slowly came awake and immediately wished he hadn't. The first sensation that penetrated the cotton wool that filled his head, was pain. His entire body ached before he had even had a chance to do so much as move a muscle. Even breathing hurt. The second thing he noticed was that he was not lying on one of the soft mattresses in the infirmary, but on hard ground. He could feel small piece of what were probably plants, pebbles and other thing you would find on the ground in a forest, digging into his back.

He had no idea what had happened and all he wanted to do was go back to sleep where he was safe from the pain which he only gotten more intense since he had woken up. He could feel that the answer to his question lurking just beneath the cotton wool that was clouding his mind at the moment, but he had a strong sense that he didn't want to know.. For the moment, he decided, he would just follow to pull of his body, which drew him back towards sleep again.

Rodney was just about the drift off again, when he felt a warm hand making contact with his shoulder. A surge of panic run through his body. Imagines flooded his mind. The shard of green glass flying through the air, slashing motion, clothes being torn, blood dripping to floor, the deadly rage on John's face. Instinctively he curled into a foetal position. His abused body protested against the action, sending unbearable pain through his nervous system.

McKay never heard himself scream, nor did he hear Teyla and Aiden calling his name, trying to calm him down. Their words didn't seem to reach him. His screaming died down when he passed out from the pain.

"I think we should let him rest a while before checking his injuries again." Aiden suggested.

"I agree." Teyla said. She had not failed to notice that when Rodney had curled up so suddenly he had aggravated the bleeding from some of the deeper stab wounds. But she also understood that they were dealing with more than physical injuries.

Teyla went over to check on the major. What she saw filled her with worry. He hadn't woken during what had just happened with Rodney even though he was less than three metres away. That and his shallow breaths and pale complexion indicated that he was unconscious, not merely asleep.

Aiden and Teyla had divided watch during the night between them and had tried to wake John several times during the night, but neither of them had been successful. Their hope that the major had escaped with a simple concussion dwindled with every hour that he spent unconscious.

Teyla stayed behind while Aiden went out to search for the nearest water source, as well as scouting possibilities for a safer and more sheltered campsite. Since there was no way they would leave their injured comrades behind, whoever left the campsite was on their own. While she was waiting Teyla pooled the meagre contents of the first aid kits that they carried in their packs. The actual med kit had been in the jumper. What they had wouldn't get them far. A few bandages, some gauze, band aids, but no medications or disinfectant of any kind.

----------

_John was floating. He was finally free. He had escaped the cellar he had been locked up in. Now all that he had left to do was find his dreams and stay there forever. It had been so easy. He wondered why he hadn't done it before. He had had the glass shard for days. He could have slit his wrist and it would have been over. Nobody cared whether he lived or died. Well, his captors did, but only because they couldn't sell a dead body. He could have spared himself days of misery and night of trying to sleep while the cold penetrated every bone in his body. Waiting had been good for one thing, he had gotten his revenge. Revenge for all that had been done to him. By killing the guard, he had died as a free man. He mentally replayed the scene, needing to feel powerful again after having felt helpless for weeks. But this time something seemed wrong, for a second, the image of the guard flickered and morphed into a man from his dream. John shook his head. That couldn't be. It had been a guard. He had stared the man into the face and seen the hatred in eyes. He could never kill Rodney in cold blood. Even though he only existed in his dreams, Rodney was a friend. He was the closest friend that John had ever had. On the surface John socialized a lot, but he didn't let people come close. Rodney had come close._

_John was standing on his favourite balcony on Atlantis. It was a warm day and a soft wind was blowing. It's a beautiful day and it is even more beautiful when both Rodney and John are off-duty. But John wasn't in the mood to enjoy the day. Something felt wrong and somehow he felt sad, without knowing why. So now he was staring out over the ocean, trying to figure out why. He only noticed Rodney when he was standing at his side._

_"What are you brooding about?"_

_"It's thinking."_

_"So what are you thinking about?"_

_"Something is wrong. I don't know yet what it is."_

_"In case you have forgotten you took a good blow to the head on our last mission. I'm sure Beckett will tell you all about the week you spent in the infirmary annoying him and the nurses."_

_John didn't remember. He took a good look at Rodney. Suddenly Rodney was replaced by the guard he killed._

_"No!" John screamed. The balcony suddenly seemed to tilt, knocking him off balance. He tried to grab the railing, but Rodney was faster and grabbed him, breaking his fall. The last thing he heard was Rodney yelling for a medical team._

_John floated again. This was the first time his dreams have been like that. In his dreams, the world used to be all right._

--------

Teyla had just built a small fire to boil the water upon Aiden's return when a noise startled her and she turned around in the direction of her wounded friends. John's entire body gone rigid and stiff, while he's limbs were jerking violently. Teyla immediately abandoned her task and raced over to him, trying in vain to hold the stronger man down to prevent him from hurting himself even more. Time seemed to have slowed down while she fought against the force of the seizure. Her muscles started to ache and in spite of the cool air, she could feel the sweat on her forehead when the seizure eventually stopped. It seemed like the episode had lasted for hours, but probably only minutes had passed. Teyla sat back for a moment, getting her breathing back under control.

Aiden approached the campsite. It had taken longer than expected to find water. He had not dared to come any closer to the camp of the pirates and it had been almost an hour's walk before he had located another water source. The water didn't look very good. They would have to boil it in any case and even then it would be far from ideal. Fortunately he had encountered no enemies while he had been gone and it looked like the campsite had remained undetected as well.

"Sorry, it's quite far to the nearest river. The water isn't very good, I'm afraid."

"It will have to do." Teyla replied, taking the filled canteens from Aiden and pouring them into the field cooking pot and put it over the fire.

Aiden walked over to Rodney and John. As soon as the water was boiled and had cooled down again, they had to face to unpleasant task to trying to clean to worst of their wounds. Aiden hated the idea of having to hurt his friends, but they had no choice. They had to, infection was their biggest problem since they were stranded without any medications. Teyla interrupted his thoughts.

"John is unwell. He had what you call a seizure a while ago. I tried to keep him from harming himself further, but he was too strong for me." Teyla said in a grave tone.

Ford didn't know whether Teyla knew, but spelling it out wouldn't help anyone. A seizure was a very bad sign with a head injury. They could forget about the concussion theory. He should have realized it earlier what John had been planning to do. A second might have been enough to stop him. There was nothing they could do for him, if he had another seizure. John needed to be in the infirmary. It was a bitter irony, he would have survived being imprisoned in the cellar, but their rescue attempt had probably costs him his life. Aiden punched the ground in frustration.

"Anger will not help us." Teyla remarked. Aiden bit back an angry remark. The stoic acceptance of death and destruction of the Athosian would always be a mystery.

Teyla saw that Aiden needed time also, so she turned her attention towards the pot of water. It was done boiling by now. The particles of dirt had settles on the bottom of the pot, but she still wanted to filter the rest of the water. They were already short on bandages, hence she decided to sacrifice a part of her shirt. They would have to use their shirts as bandage material eventually anyways, as they were going to be on this planet for a while from the looks of it.

The rest of the morning was spent in silence. Aiden was wrapped up in his own guilt and anger about being unable to do anything for his team mates while Teyla didn't understand the attitude of her human comrade. Her people accepted the inevitable and knew how to live with it.

Teyla kept busy trying to get the water as pure as possible, boiling the filtered liquid once more, hoping the more particles would settles at the bottom of the pot. Aiden walked over to her.

"I'm going to check out the ruins by the camp. They were abandoned yesterday, I think it's safe there. It would for a better camp." He didn't mention that in order for the ruins to make a good campsite, the pirates needed to have left the planet.. Otherwise they'd be next door neighbours.

Teyla just nodded. It was dangerous, but they had no choice. If there were any supplies left in the ruins or the pirates abandoned tent village, they could use them. Their food wouldn't last forever. Testing the temperature of the boiled water, Teyla set out to clean the wounds of her friends.

John's head wound was messy, it started bleeding a bit again when she cleaned it, so she decided to leave it alone and bandaged it. The wounds on Johns hands, from where he had cut himself using the glass shard were mostly shallow and one cut looked bad and showed signs of infection. Again, she cleaned and bandaged it. The other cuts, she decided would heal on their own. Even the bad cut would eventually heal on its own. Her people didn't have very sophisticated medical skills and she had seen many people recover from quite sever injuries sustained in Wraith attacks.

Remembering what had happened before, she approached Rodney slowly, stopping a short distance from him.

"Rodney, you need to wake up! Rodney!"

Indeed Rodney opened his eyes briefly, but shut them again immediately again.

"Rodney, stay away. It's me, Teyla. It's important. You are safe here. Nobody is going to hurt you." She reassured him, recalling his earlier panic.

This time his eyes stayed open. Teyla moved forward, until she was sure that she was in his field of vision.

"How are you feeling?"

"Thirsty…everything…everything hurts." Rodney struggled with the words as the effort had him already out of breath..

"I'll get you something to drink. I'll be right back." Teyla said and went to fetch Rodney's canteen which still contained clean water from Atlantis. They had used it to collect all their definitely clean water, while having used their own empty canteens to collect water on the planet.

She handed Rodney the canteen and he took a few sips.

"Need to …eat. …Blood sugar…" Rodney managed, wheezing badly. Teyla understood what he meant and got a protein bar from Rodney backpack. Rodney barely finished half of it before he drifted of again. Even as Teyla started to strip him of his vest, jacket and tee-shirt , he didn't fully wake again. It was probably for the better as he still groaned semi-consciously and had fine tremors running through him. As Ford had already noticed the previous day, most of the stab wounds were minor, but the sheer number of them provided an enormous risk of infection. The two deepest stab wounds were one below his heart and one to his upper arm. They were still bleeding. Teyla tried to wrap them tightly, hoping that it would finally stop the bleeding. It wasn't a heavy flow of blood from the wounds. But even slow and steady would eventually lead to fatal blood loss. Most of the other stab wounds were already infected. She tried to clean them with water, hoping that it would reduce or at least delay the infection.

_John tried to move but couldn't. His wrists and ankles were tied down to the mattress. He opened his eyes and found himself in the infirmary. It made sense, the last thing he remembered was passing out on the balcony. What did not make sense was that he was in restraints._

_"You can calm down now or do you want to be sedated for another twenty-four hours?" Dr. Beckett threatened. John looked up at the man, expected him to be grinning, but his expression was dead serious. He had never seen Dr. Beckett with such a cold expression on his face. "You have ten minutes with Rodney. But if he agitates you, I won't hesitate to throw him out and order no more visitors for the rest of the week. Elisabeth also wants to talk to you."_

_John just nodded, unable to understand how is dream world had suddenly turned on him. Rodney, Rodney had to be on his side. He had to be his friend._

_"John! How are you?" Rodney practically came running across the infirmary. "I've missed you sooo much. Haven't seen you for two days. Rodney came to a skittering halt at his bedside. Only now, John noticed that Rodney was carrying a bouquet of flowers. Very weird, very alien flowers. Rodney tossed the flowers on the nightstand and bent over to give John a long, very wet kiss on the cheek._

_"What happened?" John asked bewildered. Everything was wrong. Rodney was nice to him, that was right, but this wasn't Rodney._

_"I've been so worried. You collapsed on the balcony. Dr. Beckett said it had something to do with your head injury on our last mission. He didn't let me visit you until today. He only let Dr. Weir see you until now."_

_"You didn't miss much, I only woke up today. But Rodney, can you do me a favour and get Dr. Beckett?"_

_"Is something wrong?" Rodney frowned._

_"No, no, I just want to ask him something. John hoped that he would have better luck confronting the doctor in company. Maybe Rodney too would notice that something was amiss. A minute later, Rodney reappeared with Dr. Beckett who looked very unnerved._

_"Dr. Beckett, can you please tell me why it was necessary to restrain me?"_

_"You were unruly." The doctor responded curtly and already turned to leave._

_"Because of what? Rodney told me that I hit my head!_

_"Yes! And you didn't let me visit him. I want to take him home!" Rodney joined in._

_"Okay, you two are asking for it. Rodney you are leaving and I'm not going to see you here again for at least one week." Dr. Beckett grabbed Rodney by the shoulders and roughly pushed Rodney out the door. "And you", he approached John, "definitely need some more rest." In a quick gesture, Beckett stabbed him with a syringe._

_"What the hell was that for?" John yelled as he was already starting to feel strangely heavy. Within seconds, he drifted off._

-----------

Rodney didn't know how long he had been awake. It had to have been several hours. When he had woken up, it had still been afternoon or early even, judging by the daylight. At first he had been content lying on his back, not moving, just staying still to keep the pain at bay while his brain worked furiously. Like a puzzle, he had taken the pieces he had and had tried to put them back together. He remembered everything in perfect clarity until he had arrived on the planet. It started blurring from there. He remembered how he had felt. The mix of desperation, fear, and determination to do anything he could do to get John back. He had been willing to kill anyone how stood in his way as he had climbed down the steps to the basement. The basement had been dark and it had smelled of rotting wood. He was surprised that he recalled that much detail. Then his memory failed him. There were only shards of memory of what had happened next. He had struggled with John. "No," he mentally corrected himself, "struggled was the wrong word. They had fought. It had been a fight to the death. John had him overpowered so fast that he hadn't even stood a chance to draw his weapon. But the truth was he wouldn't have dared to use it. His aim wasn't too bad for someone who hadn't been using firearms until recently, but he would never have risked killing John. It couldn't have been him, John wouldn't never try to kill him. Yet he knew that he was injured. At that point, Rodney had decided to sit up.

It had been excruciating. His right arm was throbbing with pain and refused to obey the commands of his brain. He had to rely on his left arm and on his thankfully intact legs to push himself up. He tried to bite back the scream when he lifted his back marginally from the ground and pain exploded in his chest. In spite of his efforts a strangled yelp escaped him. Within seconds, those hands were back on him and a weight was pressing his legs to the ground.

_Pain, more and more pain cursed through his body. It was as if his nerves were being set on fire. He twisted and turned, his thoughts having been reduced to the need to protecting himself from the pain. Rodney tried to roll away, but a heavy weight secured his legs to the ground. The shard slashed against his lower arms and blood dripped down onto him. Another blow deflected. He pushed up his knees, trying to shuck the weight off of him, but it didn't budge. His weapon, he needed his weapon. He kept on arm raised as the shard struck again. Higher this time. The sharp edge wasn't deflected but ripped through fabric and plunged into his upper arm. The underground room echoed with his screams. His left hand reached metal while precious blood escaped his body and his assailant continued his onslaught, slashing across his chest, but not deeply enough to cause more than a deep scratch. Bad move for his assailant, lucky move for him. His fingers tightened across the gun and in a swift movement he used the last bit of strength that he had left he aimed it straight at his assailant. Just has he was about the plunge down the shard of glass into his chest once more, Rodney pulled the trigger, hitting the other man in the chest at point black range. The explosion filled the room, making his ears ring. The assailant collapsed to the side as Rodney dropped the gun from his bloody hands. Rodney was on the verge of passing out himself as he turned his head, wanting to get a look at the first and hopefully last man he had been forced to kill. John's pale face stared at him in death. He was dead because Rodney had killed him._

As Rodney started fighting her, trying to push her away, Teyla realized the mistake she had made. She quickly backed off, but remained close enough for Rodney to hear her.

"No! Not you! I didn't mean to!" Rodney mumbled with closed eyes.

"Rodney, wake up! You are safe here. Nobody can harm you. It is just a dream!"

"I'm so sorry. It couldn't have been you!" Rodney didn't seem to have understood what she had said.

While Teyla didn't know what had happened between the three men in the underground prison, she knew that it had affected all of the severely. John was gravely injured, Aiden was unusually quiet and angry, and Rodney seemed to be haunted by nightmares and driven to panic every time he was touched by someone.

"Rodney, everyone is all right. Listen to me. We are all here. John, Aiden and me, we are all here." She reassured him, hoping that this would help quell whatever he was so afraid of.

Indeed, Rodney stopped mumbling inanely and lay still again. Teyla stayed at his side watching to make sure that he had indeed calmed down. It was only minutes before Rodney resumed his initial efforts to sit up. Knowing not to stop him this time, Teyla decided to help him by replacing the bundled up jacket under his head with his backpack to bring him into a more upright position.

TBC


	3. Hunted

Space Pirates 

By Illman

Rating R

Archive: Feel free.  
Spoilers: none

Feedback: sure

Disclaimer: It's their universe, not mine.  
Summary: Stranded on an alien planet the team has to try to survive while dealing withe physical and emotional fallout of a botched rescue mission.

A/N: As quite a few people on and off list have pointed out, 'Space Pirates' was not the best choice as titles go. Feel free to laugh. Thanks to Shelly for the comments on the draft. Italics represent dreams or nightmares.

Chapter Three: Hunted

Propped up on his backpack, Rodney let his eyes roam around their small campsite. Teyla sat by the fire, holding a pot above the flames with one hand, hand gun in the other hand. An indistinct smell of food wafted over to him. Normally, he'd be hungry, but the pain and budding infection had driven all thoughts of food from his mind. Rodney shifted his tired gaze further left and met a horrifying sight. John was lying motionless on the ground, his head bandaged. Dried blood was smeared all over his face, jacket and hands, making him barely recognizable at the first look. Rodney shuddered. What on earth had he done? He looked down at his own hands, which were equally covered in dried blood. When he closed his eyes, he could feels the cold steel of the gun in his hand, threatening to slip in his bloodied grasp. The cascade of image ran through his mind, he could feel the glass shard slicing through his skin and pushing deeper, causing white hot pain to surge through him, taking his breath away for a second. Struggling to escape while John kept him nailed to the group and stabbed him again and again. The hate on John's face ,that had hurt as much as the stabbing. Reaching for the gun. His fingertips touching the cold weapon. It had all gone so fast. There had been only blood and pain and hate. John had hated him. He had wanted to kill him. But that couldn't be. He had to be wrong. It was all too much, his head hurt.

Rodney opened his eyes, trying to stay awake as long as possible. In sleep, dreams of what he had done in the cell would only come to haunt him. He settled for the least painful position on the backpack that allowed him to lie semi-upright and turned to watch John. The guilt had already taken hold of him and seeing John breathe at least reassured him that John was still alive.

As the afternoon turned into evening and the sun set over the nameless world, Rodney had to watch twice helplessly as John's limbs jerked violently and Teyla tried in vain to hold him to the ground. Neither he nor Teyla spoke a word about these incidents. They both knew that there was nothing they could do without medical knowledge and supplies and they both knew that Major Sheppard's outlook was grim.

Rodney's guilt only deepened. How could he ever live with the knowledge of having inflicted permanent damage on John? If they even got out off this planet alive, a grim voice in his head added. It would be almost better no to get out of here alive. If they got back to the station, what would Elisabeth say once she learned that John was permanently impaired and that he was to blame? Lock him up? Teyla still treated him the same as always, but she was, well she was Teyla and besides, he was injured at the moment. Teyla and Ford's first priorities were probably food, shelter and means of escape, or something along those lines.

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Teyla was worried. Aiden had been gone for almost twelve hours and night was approaching fast. Exploring the planet further was dangerous, but it was their only hope. They had both been aware of it, when Aiden had gone out to have a look at the pirate's campsite and the old ruins. Danger was preferable to the certain death of their friends. Although Teyla had been initially rather optimistic about Rodney's condition, she was now not quite that certain anymore. While he had been awake most of the later afternoon, he had drifted off into an uneasy sleep. His skin felt hot to the touch and he was mumbling incoherently in his sleep. The only phrases Teyla could make out were "didn't mean to kill him" and "so sorry". She assumed Rodney was dreaming about what had happened in the underground prison, although she was puzzle about his reference to killing someone. She didn't know the details, but as far as she knew Rodney hadn't killed anyone. "

_The hateful eyes stood out against the pale face. He was looming over him, starting down at him with deadly rage about the plunge the glass shard down into his neck, finishing him off once and for all. Rodney hurt worse than he had ever in his life. Every nerve ending seemed to be screaming with pain. He couldn't breathe, think or move. But when he saw the glass shard was poised to strike his neck, his body mobilized every last reserve. Suddenly the pain was gone and he possessed the strength that one only has in a fight to the death. In a rapid movement, he freed his arm, grabbed his gun with slippery fingers, ignoring the blood dripping down and fired. It hadn't taken but a second. He hadn't thought about it The gun weighted a ton and his arm dropped to the ground like a stone. He tasted blood in his mouth. The coppery taste, combined with pain and shock made him sick. He just managed to pull himself up with his left arm on a grate, before he threw up his breakfast. His chest hurt abominably and somewhere along the line he had started to shake like crazy. He just wanted to forget about it all. Instinctively driven to curl up, he found his lower body pinned to the floor by Sheppard's lifeless form. Needing to know for sure, he rolled John on his back. Dead eyes stared up at him from a face almost completely covered by blood from a head wound. He had killed John._

The rapid fire of gunshots violently brought Rodney out of his dream world. At first, he was confused, fearing that he had gone from one hell to another as the cold air carried the sound of rapid weapons fire and the howling of animals not to far away. The sound seemed to come from all distances. Teyla threw a quick glance in his direction. When she saw that he was awake, she reached down to her ankle holster and three her handgun over to gun.

"The noise will scare the animals and keep them away from us." She said, immediately starting to fire more shots in the air.

Rodney eyed the gun. He could feel it again, how it had felt against his hands. He had dreamt about shooting John again. He shook his head and reached out for the weapon. What if he hit someone, what if he missed on hit Teyla by accident? He couldn't. He balled his shaking hand into a fist. In that moment, he saw something in the corner of his eye. It was nothing more than a shadow, moving swiftly by, then disappearing into the wood. The howling sound had gotten closer. Rodney saw the first animal approach the camp. It looked like a wolf on earth. Teyla downed the beast with one shot. It didn't stop more from following. Teyla was starting to have difficulty hitting the animals before they got close, as they now attacked in a group, running fast towards the camp. She downed two more animals before one of them got to her, throwing her off balance. Rodney stared at the scene in frozen horror. Not another one, he couldn't screw up again and let down another one of his friends. He lunged for the gun at his side and held it up, his entire body shaking. Trying to aim at the beats, he pulled the trigger, hoping that through some miracle he had hit an animal. His shot was followed by howls, he fired again and then a third time, then the gun dropped from his shaking hands. He couldn't go on. He had done what he could and it wasn't enough. Using all his determination and whatever strength he had left, he got to his feet and grabbed his pack back with his good arm. He heard Teyla calling out his name, but he didn't stop and she didn't come after him as he walked into the forest.

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Aiden had never waited that long. He had been crouched behind some shrubs listening, waiting for the howls of the wolf-like beast and the gunfire to cease. It pained him that he couldn't help them, but he couldn't approach the camp without risking being hit by friendly fire. All he could do was hope that Teyla could defend the camp on her own. At was really all his fault. If he hadn't been so keen to explore the pirates' camp, he probably wouldn't have freed the beasts by accident. The locked door had triggered his curiosity and he had hoped to find something that might be of help to them. Instead of saving them, he had unleashed what might just kill them. He had managed to kill two of the animals back in the ruins, where he had only escaped them by climbing up the remnants of a pillar. He had waited for hours until the animals had finally left.

When he hadn't heard a single shot from the campsite for a minute, he jogged towards the faint glow of the fire. When he got close, he saw Teyla sitting on the ground and John lieing next to the fire.

"Dr. McKay is missing. " Teyla stated the obvious, as soon as she noticed him approach."He was still here after I chased the creature away from him. He is armed as well, he could have defended himself. I don't think he was dragged of by one of the beasts."

"I can see that. Where the hell did he go? I thought he couldn't even walk. How did he run off?" Ford answered sharply. He was on the edge. Lack of sleep, combined with the emotional impact of the experiences of the planet had taken their toll.

"I'll go looking for him. I doubt he could have gotten far." Teyla answered as calmly as ever.

"Wait Teyla. What happened to you?´" Ford only now took in her appearance. Teyla looked rather pale in the light of the fire. Her face bore several deep scratches, including a bleeding gash in her forehead. Her clothes were torn in several places. Ford could see blood on her left shoulder, as well as on her right leg, which Teyla had already bandaged with what was probably the last of their bandages. Luckily, he had found some cloth that they could use if needed.

"Stay here. I'm going to find Rodney." Aiden tried to keep the anger out of his voice but didn't quite manage. He was angry at himself for letting down his CO, setting free the beast that had attacked his team, he was angry at Rodney for running off like that and he was angry at Teyla for her stubbornness.

"He ran into the forest. I can easily follow his track there, even by night." Teyla argued. "The wound in my leg isn't deep."

"All right." Ford grit out. Teyla's calm only made him only more exasperated. Was there nothing that got to the woman? Probably not, since she was a little girl, she had seen her people, her parents and her friends slaughtered by an enemy as formidable as the Wraith. He didn't envy her for the cruelties she was bound to have seen in her life.

After Teyla had left, Aiden settled down next to John. He still couldn't comprehend what had happened down in the prison cellar. Why would John first try to kill Rodney and then try to kill himself when he was about to be rescued? John wouldn't break, no matter what the pirates had done. From the looks of it, they hadn't tortured him. They had kept him short on food and probably also short on water, but they hadn't beaten him. Still, that left plenty of scenarios that Aiden didn't even want to think about. Scenarios that made look a good old fashioned beating look like a good idea.

But no matter what had happened, John needed to be in the infirmary now. He wouldn't last much longer. They had the next day pretty certainly, but beyond that, it would be pure luck. Aiden silently swore to bring John back to Atlantis, no matter what. Even if there was nothing Dr, Beckett could do, John deserved better than to die on some nameless planet.

----------

_John abruptly woke up. Something, like a sudden noise must have woken him. But even when he strained to listen, the infirmary was silent, expect for the perpetual humming of medical machinery. He was just about the drift off again, when he heard footsteps. They seemed to come closer. A whooshing sound indicated that the door to the infirmary had just been opened. Another whooshing sound followed. John craned his neck, but the restraints prevented him from moving far enough to be able to see the door of the infirmary. So he did the only thing he could do, he listened. Seconds ticked by in silence and he was already starting to question whether someone had actually come in and the door hadn't been accidentally triggered. The footsteps began again, softer this time, as if someone was deliberately sneaking around. They were moving away from John's position, somewhere to the right side. Suddenly a muffled yelp was followed by a loud plop. Then the sound of something crashing to the floor echoed through the infirmary before all returned to silence. Being tied to the bed, John lay in bed waiting for the footsteps._

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Rain had not been part of the plan. The flashlight from his backpack was of little use. The rain was falling in thick sheets, reducing vision to a few feet in front of him. He had forgotten to count the times he has tripped over branches and tree roots. Getting up was harder every time. After tripping for the second time, he had taken off his tee-shirt and cut it in two. It had taken a while, but eventually he had managed to use the two pieces of cloth to tie his useless right arm to his chest. The rain had started soon after. He was pushing forward blindly; he only thought was getting away. He didn't know where he was running to, he only knew who he was running away from. That was all his feverish mind needed to know. Once again, he tripped, but instead of slamming face first into the wet dirt, he continued to fall forward.

In the split second when he realized what was happening, time stood still for Rodney. He was falling. He'd hit the ground and it'd all be over. It'd be an accident. He had fallen downsome sort of ravine. Maybe sometimes there was justice.TBC


	4. Lost

_**Space Pirates**_

_Chapter 4_

Teyla followed the trail of broken branches an flattened grass. The darkness slowed her down, but didn't hinder her as she read the language of the forest and traced the path her team-mate had taken not too long ago. The forest wasn't too thick, but the sky was heavily clouded, not allowing any moonlight to reach the ground. Using the flashlight, well aware of the need to conserve the batteries as long as possible, Teyla slowly progressed through the underbrush. She could tell that Rodney had moved fast and had not cared to take the easiest path possible. He must have literally torn through shrubs and plants, not caring that branches cut him. Teyla wondered what had driven her ill team-mate to run through the forest like that. What had he been running from? A ghost of his feverish dreams or a memory of what had happened on the planet earlier? For a physically weakened man, he had evidently moved with great strength and velocity. Teyla tried her best to speed up her search, trying to find Rodney before his exertion caught up with him and he was rendered helpless.

The loud crack of thunder above made Teyla stop dead in her movements. While she was still

glancing upwards through the foliage at the sky, rain started falling. The drops were large and the rain was dense. Even with the flashlight, vision was instantly reduced greatly to only a short distance around herself. While it had been slow going due to the dark before, her progress was slowed to a crawl now. She could only hope that Rodney would also be slowed down by the rain and hopefully find shelter under a larger tree. But even that would not help him for long, Teyla realized a few minutes later, while the foliage had kept her moderately dry for a few minutes, after maybe a quarter of an hour, her uniform was soaked with cold rain. In the chilly nigh of the planet, the combination of low temperature and wetness was dangerous. Teyla was aware that now, not only Rodney was at risk; she was also risking her own health. Not only was the nightly search putting strain on the bite wound she had suffered when the wolf-like animals had attacked their camp, now, the weather conditions put not only her, but also Aiden and John who were at their poorly shielded campsite, at the risk of suffering from exposure.

Teyla stopped suddenly when she heard a howling noise. Because of the heavy pounding of the rain, she couldn't properly tell the distance, but it sounded as if the source was nearby. She got her weapon ready and used its light to scan the immediate area. The rain rendered her nearly blind and deaf, she heard more noise, something moving through the branches, it sounded as if it was moving towards her.

---------

Just as Rodney thought his fall would continue forever, he was swallowed by ice-cold water. It violently engulfed him, tossed him around, having no mercy for his already battered body, as he slammed into rocks and branches. The shock of the cold had taken away his breath at first, but then his lungs desperately craved air but he no longer knew up from down. He frantically tried to get hold of something to stop his journey down the raging river, but he was powerless his body tumbled in the fierce current. It was pure chance that he managed to push his head up for a few second. He gasped for air, not caring about the pain every gasp sent through his chest. Too soon he was pulled under again. He continued to fight against the masses of water that tossed him around like he was a mere piece of wood, but his body had been running on adrenaline alone and his injuries and the infection were draining his strength. His lungs were already burning when he drew in his next life-saving breath. He fought for every second his head remained above the water while he drew in painful breath after breath, when suddenly he fell again. The whooshing sound of the night air, the rain and the rushing water enveloped him, drowning all other sensation. The hypnotic sound seemed to carry on forever, an endless natural patter repeating itself. Rodney felt himself getting lost in the sound, finally feeling calm and at peace. He could go on forever like this.

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When the rain had started falling, Aiden had realized that he had to do something. They couldn't stay somewhere were they were this exposed to the elements. They had to risk it and move into the ruins where the pirates had built their camp. It was the only place on the planet where they were somewhat protected from the weather. Teyla was still off searching for Rodney, but he couldn't wait for her to return, John's clothes were already soaked with water and so were his own. They had nothing to change into and the only way get their clothes dry in this climate was to built a fire. That was if they could find some dry wood. Not for the first time Aiden wondered how a rescue mission could have gone this wrong. He didn't see how they were going to get out of this one alive. He and Teyla might be able to survive on the planet with some luck, if they didn't starve or were killed by the wolf-beasts, but even if neither of them had said it, John and Rodney didn't have a chance. They had a couple of days at best. He seemed to make mistake after mistake since they were here. He had been late to recognize what John had been about to do. Had he been a bit quicker, he could have wrestled the gun from him and the man wouldn't have shot himself in the head. Then, he had managed to unleash the beasts which had attacked them, had bitten Teyla and had given Rodney the opportunity to take off. If he ever got back to Atlantis, he was never going through the Gate again.

He couldn't take everything in one go. Everything could wait, except John, getting him dry and warm was the most important thing right now. Collecting their cooking gear and other non-essentials could wait. Aiden tried to take John in a fire-man's carry, but didn't get far, before he had to set him down. Through the long trip with many break while he alternated between dragging and carrying John, it continued to rain heavily. It seemed to take forever until they finally arrived in the rectangular stone room on the second floor of the most intact building of the ruins. Aiden had chosen this room, because it offered the best view over the area and because the 'window' would allow them to have a fire going. Ignoring his aching muscles and waterlogged uniform, Aiden went in search of dry would to get a fire started to dry their clothes and get them warm again. He had briefly glanced at the rooms during the day, but hadn't had time to do a detailed search before the fiasco with the wolf-beasts.

He descended the stone stairs that were worn by centuries of use and started to search through the remnants of what had been the ground floor. The building must have once been impressive, but aside from one room, the rest was mostly rumble. The intact room on the ground floor had evidently been used by the pirates for storage. Aiden made a mental note to come back later and examine the bottles, boxes and barrels stashed there more closely. But for now, firewood was his first priority as he descended into the basement. At first he didn't realize, but when he had taken a few steps in the low, narrow corridor, he realized that this was the very corridor where John had been kept prisoner. Aiden shuddered involuntarily and not entirely due to his wet clothes and the chilly air in the damp basement. Willing away his uneasiness, he proceeded, remembering the crate John had sat on. The crate would make excellent wood for a fire, he told himself. Even though there was no one around to see him, Aiden carefully controlled his expression before entering the room at the far end where the tragic events had taken place less than three days ago. He fought to keep the memories at bay, but no matter how hard he tried, the image of John sitting on the grate, pointing out the body of Rodney materialized in his mind. The man sitting on that crate hadn't been John. He had looked like him, but all likeness and personality and behaviour had been gone. Aiden didn't even want to know what the alien pirates had done to break push John Sheppard to that point where he was rather going to kill himself than being rescued. And it looked like he was going to succeed, Aiden thought glumly. Shaking the dark thoughts and memories, he picked up the grate, when something caught his eye. At first he thought it was the gruesome sight of the lake of dried blood on the stone floor where John had tried to kill Rodney by stabbing him to death. But that wasn't what had distracted him. A small blue-ish object was lying in the corner. He sat the crate down and went to take a closer look. It looked like an injector pen, alien edition. He pocketed the object. He would ponder this discovery later, getting warm and dry again was his first priority. Aiden picked up the crate again, glad to be finally able to leave the basement again.

----------

_John listened for footsteps. He tensed as he heard them coming in his direction. He could feel his body telling him to run, but in his current position of being restrained to the bed, this was impossible. He strained his eyes to see who was approaching, but was incapable of recognizing more than a dark shadow. There was nothing he could do but wait. The figure came closer and closer. The outline looked familiar, not too tall, no athletic built. It put something down on the night stand. Something that looked like a gun._

"_Rodney" he whispered._

"_Shsh!" was the reply. _

_John felt a warm hand on his and someone was working on the restraint on his left wrist._

"_I'm here to get you out." Rodney whispered and freed his left and. Then he went over and repeated the procedure and his right wrist. _

"_Not that I don't appreciate it. But what are you doing with a gun!?"_

"_It's only a tranq gun." Rodney reassured him, still talking in a low voice. "I had to take out the nurse on duty."_

_John stared at him. He hadn't time to formulate a response as Rodney thrust a bundle of clothes at him._

"_I brought a something to wear. Wouldn't want you to have to walk around like this."_

"_Thanks." John stammered and put on the clothes. It wasn't like he liked being in the infirmary, restrained on top of it all, when he didn't even know why._

"_Here," Rodney handed him a gun , "just in case. Come on, we need to hurry. I have everything prepared. I even rigged to security cameras. By the time they know we are gone, we'll be so far away, they'll never find us." Rodney smiled broadly._

_John frowned in confusion. "Where are we going? Why?"_

"_Don't worry. You're still confused. Beckett said it could take a while until you're back to normal." Rodney tucked on his arm. John followed reluctantly, trusting Rodney to know what was going on. _

_They didn't get very far. In the corridor leading down from the infirmary, they ran into Dr. Beckett and Dr. Mitchell, the city's psychologist. Both of them wore grim expression as they saw the pair approach._

"_Rodney, we told you that he needs rest and can't leave the infirmary yet." Dr. Mitchell said in a patronizing tone that John didn't like. Rodney didn't like it either because as soon as the doctor had spoken, he shot her. For good measure, he downed Beckett as well, before he had a chance to even move. John just stared as the two doctors collapsed to the floor unconscious. Something was very wrong. The Rodney he had dreamt about had never been like this. Sure, this Rodney liked him and protected him, but he also ran around and shot people. John's thoughts were interrupted when Rodney tugged on his sleeves again. Rodney started to run and for lack of alternative John followed him. In this bizarre version of his dream world, Rodney was the only person, he could trust. He soon realized that Rodney was headed towards the jumper bay. Oddly they didn't encounter a single person on their way there. However when they entered the jumper bay, they were suddenly faced with half a dozed marines from Sergeant Bates security forces, weapons aimed at them._

"_Drop your weapons and surrender or we will shoot!" Bates shouted._

"_Never!" Rodney cried and fired his tranq gun at Bates. _

"_Nooo!" John screamed in the same instant as he threw Rodney down to the ground, knowing what was going to happen._

_Instead of hitting Rodney, the bullet tore into his side. He felt as if his nerves were on fire as he slid to the ground, blood rapidly flowing from the wound. People were shouting all around him and someone was pulling Rodney away from him, just as the pain overwhelmed him and everything darkened. _

When he opened his eyes a second later, the fire along his nerves was gone. The pain was now different. More an all around kind of severe muscle ache than a bullet hole in his side.. John was staring at a stone ceiling. He was back at the pirate's camp. They had tricked him again! It had been nothing but a dream. In reality, he was still chained up in the cellar, waiting to be sold. Panic surged through him again and he tried to sit up. When his body failed to react, he became frantic. What had they done to him? His entire body hurt. Had he made them mad enough to beat him up? They couldn't sell him if he was beaten up. That was good. He couldn't let them sell him. With renewed determination, John drifted off to the world of his dreams again.

--------

Teyla fired a shot in the air, hoping that it would scare away the animal like it had initially done when they had been attacked before. While they had been at the advantage over the creatures at the camp with their deadly weapons, now, in the forest with the heavy rain, the creatures that could track her by heat and smell, were at the advantage because to use her weapon she had to see the creature. Cautiously, Teyla proceeded on Rodney's trail, hoping that he hadn't fallen victim to the beasts when he had fled into the forest unarmed. She had advanced maybe ten steps when she heard the howling noise again, this time definitely ahead of her. She fired a blind shot and was rewarded by a pained shriek that indicated that she had struck her target. More confident she resumed her path through the forest. Suddenly, she hadn't paid too much attention one of beast was behind her, leaping in her direction. She fired a shot, but tripped and the bullet went high up in the air. Frantically, she scrambled back to her feet, but the creature caught her arm between it's jaws. She yanked on it before it had a chance to bite, but its teeth had still torn her flesh. Pain ran through her arm, making her grip on the gun shaky as she finally managed to shoot the animal. She sank to the ground, cradling her injured arm. She let her weapon slip from her grasp. When it suddenly slipped down the soft incline of the ground and disappeared into the darkness, she looked up. Pointing her flashlight up ahead, she saw that she was sitting only a few feet from the border of a ravine. With the heavy rain and the attack by the creature, she hadn't noticed the raging river below. The heavy rain had caused it to swell. She was lucky not to have fallen down the ravine into the water. But there was no telling if Rodney had been equally lucky. She had followed his trail as far as she could only to find it ending at the border of a ravine. The painful conclusion was that he had fallen in. He had had no light source and if he had been in panic, being chased by the wild beasts, he could have easily taken a fall.

----------

The whooshing sound lulled him to sleep, but cold and pain were tugging him back to consciousness. Rodney groaned, he didn't want to go there. All he wanted was some sleep. The whooshing sound turned into the sound of the flowing rivers and the falling rain as his mind returned to a waking state. He realized that his lower body was still in the water, while the rest of him had been caught between stones along with driftwood. He realized how lucky he had been. Otherwise he surely would have drowned after going down that waterfall. He was cold all over, the river was cold and had numbed his legs. He tried with his left arm to pull himself out of the water and found it a task that only progressed millimetre by millimetre. He tried to push himself up more by his legs, but the cold water had numbed them beyond the point of usefulness and the muscles refused to co-operate with his brain. The painstaking task of crawling to the shore took Rodney until morning. By the time the sun come up, he had crawled onto the land. For the first time, he glanced around. This area of the planet looked similar to where the pirates had put up their camp. A flat plane of grass, a few tress, some ruins of abandoned houses. Rodney just wanted to get some sleep, somewhere where he was going to stay dry. With renewed determination, he set out to crawl to the nearest of the ruined buildings.

----------

By the time Teyla returned to the campsite only to find it abandoned it had already dawned. The heavy rain had made way to a drizzle. She felt cold to the bone. The pain in her arm drew up to her shoulder and the wound was still bleeding. The bite wound in her leg was protesting after the exhausting march that had lasted all night.

She saw the scattered remnants of equipments and concluded that Aiden had probably relocated to a more sheltered location inside the ruins. She collected the remaining cooking gear and set out towards the ruins.

By the time, she was within sight of the ruins, she knew where Aiden was. The smoke coming from one of the ruins more intact rooms betrayed the new position of their camp. She made her way up the stairs to the first floor room. Aiden saw her once she stood in the empty doorway. Her ragged appearance was enough to tell the story. When he shot her a questioning look, she just shook her head. Another disaster on a doomed mission. Attracted by the warm fire, she let herself sink down to the ground.

"Are you all right?" Aiden asked, feeling slightly stupid asking when Teyla was obviously injured.

"I will be all right. One of the beasts attacked me in the forest. " Teyla explained, not being able to prevent the weariness from sneaking into her voice. Aiden handed her a strip of the sheets he had found when going through the ruins earlier. They were out of bandages and he had cut the sheet into stripes when he had rebandaged John's head wound earlier. Silently, Teyla accepted his help at dressing her injury. She tried no to show it, but the pain and exhaustion were getting to her as well.

"I tracked Dr, McKay's tracks to the edge of a ravine. I believe it's most likely that he fell down the ravine into the river below."

"Oh God." Aiden nearly whispered as he realized the implications. Rodney might or might not have willingly gone over the edge of the ravine after he had simply run away from his team-mates. What else was going to happen in this nightmare?

"I believe he might have survived the fall into the river. Once the weather improves, we should go and search for him." Teyla insisted.

"We don't even know where the river goes. It's to far away and one of us has to stay with John. He had another seizure tonight and I think his wound has gotten infected. I'm trying to get his clothes dry." Aiden pointed to John, who was wrapped in several of the sheets that Aiden had found earlier. "I also found this." He pointed out the blue object that he had found down in the basement. "It's an injector of some kind. They were drugging him. I checked him out. The insides of his arms are full of marks, old ones and newer ones." Aiden said with disgust.

Teyla didn't know what to say. They both knew that they needed to get off the planet and they both knew that currently, they didn't have the means to do so.

----------

"_Come on, John, come on. John! John!" Rodney's voice wouldn't leave him alone._

"_Uhmm, wanna sleep." He mumbled in reply, trying to get rid of the voice._

"_John, you have to wake up!" Rodney insisted and started shaking him. The shaking hurt, it sent pain shooting though his side. His side? He had been shot in the side. John fought to recover the memory. He had been in the jumper bay, along with Rodney. Bates and his men had been there. They had been about to shoot Rodney, but he had caught the bullet instead. Why was he still alive? John opened his eyes to see Rodney hovering above him, looking very concerned. _

"_Thank God, John, I already thought you were…" Rodney sounded relieved and helped him sit up. Only now John realized that they were in a jumper. Probably on autopilot._

"_Rodney, how did we get here? What happened with Bates?"_

"_Don't worry John. Bates can't hurt you anymore. You are safe with me." Rodney gave him a crushing hug that made John yelp with pain, yet Rodney seemed unconcerned. John looked down on himself. His lower torso was bandaged, but blood was already starting to seep through the white material._

"_Rodney, I'm bleeding!"_

"_I know, honey, but all that matters is that we are together." Rodney kissed him._

_This wasn't real, he knew that now. He couldn't really die, now could he? John reminded himself. It was all a trick. He had woken up and seen what was really going on._

----------------

When they heard the loud humming coming from the sky, it was already too late. The pirate ship was already starting to set down in to free space in the middle of the ruins. They had to be blind not to have spotted the smoke giving away the camp. Teyla mentally chided herself for not brining up this point when she had first thought of it, but there was no time for doubts. They had to defend their position, with John along, there was no way they could run and leaving him behind was not an option. They were short on ammo as well, having lost much when defending themselves against the creatures and Teyla had lost her weapon in the forest. Aiden gave her his handgun while he made his way down the stairs to surprise their visitors early on. Teyla stayed up in their camp, spying out the 'window'. Down on the ground, two aliens, both of them well armed exited the small ship. Two on two were good odds for them. One shot rang out and one alien stumbled, but didn't go down. Not good for them. Teyla fired a shot from above to distract them. The aliens split up, one of them probably going after Aiden, the other making its way up to their camp.

Aiden had been stunned to see his first shot have so little effect; he had tried for an immediate second but had missed. Now, he was being hunted and didn't like the situation one bit. He had already heard two shots being fired in his direction without even having the opportunity to fire a shot back at the alien. He was clearly at the disadvantage here. The aliens knew the territory, he didn't. Their only advantage was that the aliens didn't know that there were only two of them. He made a run for the basement. If he put enough distance between himself and the alien, he would be able to duck into one of the room and fire from a secure position. With the alien being potentially injured from his first shot, his chances weren't so bad. He dove into the first open doorway and spun around, waiting for the enemy to approach. His plan went ahead as intended. His shot hit the alien in the neck, above the protective armour the pirate was wearing. He went down to the ground, still grasping for his weapon.

It was as if her gun was useless. She had fired three shots into the alien already and it was advancing on her without slowing down. The thick armour it was wearing obviously protected it from ordinary projectile weapons. The only success her attack had had, it had made the alien drop its weapon. But Teyla doubted that the point was to kill her. This race enslaved people to sell them, nobody was going to pay for a dead person. Driven to the wall, there was no where for her left to run. The alien roughly grabbed her by her injured arm and shoved her to the ground, next to John. The alien swiftly tied her wrist together and yanked her back to her feet. It tried to do same with John, but of course, he collapsed back to the floor.

"You have to carry him." Teyla explained curtly "He's ill." The alien accepted the explanation and made its way with the two prisoners back to the small spacecraft. Teyla hoped that Aiden had had better luck, but neither he, nor the second alien were to be seen when the stepped out onto the surface. Her captor shoved her and John into the back of the space craft. Teyla winced when John's body hit the metal floor hard, unable to break the fall. With her hands tied behind her, there was nothing she could do either to help him. Another shot exploded outside and a few seconds later, Teyla could hear the ship's door opening. Instead of the alien she had expected, it was Ford who entered. He looked exhausted, but was wearing a grin.

"Time to get off this planet." He climbed back and undid their bindings, then he and Teyla climbed to the front portion of the ship. A collection of controls were in front of them and neither of them really knew what to do. Aiden concentrated on what he had learned from his few flying lessons at co-piloting the jumpers and tried to apply that knowledge to a completely different ship. His efforts were rewarded with a roaring of the engines. The ship made a sudden leap forward and then lifted up in the air.

----------

Finally they seemed to hold a steady position in the air. At least any rocking motion inside the cabin that disappeared. An unspoken question was on both of their minds. Teyla was the first to voice her opinion on it.

"We must search for Rodney. From the air we can search the riverbank very easily. The river runs outside the forest. If he is there, we will find him." Teyla stated firmly. They would find him, dead or alive. For her it was no question that they would rather die than leave their comrade behind. It was what their commander would do, and now that he was incapacitated, they were to do likewise.

"That's far too risky. What if we crash or the pirates send or reinforcement? Neither of us are trained pilots. Checking out the riverbank takes precise flying, neither of us have any idea how to fly this ship. Why can do nothing for Rodney by crashing into the river and drowning. And didn't you saw it was a thirty feet fall down the ravine and the river was full because of the rain, the chances that Rodney is alive are minimal, we are wasting our time." Ford couldn't help but finally vocalizing what he had been thinking all along. Normally, he was all for being positive, but on this mission, there was nothing to be positive about. His CO, whom he had thought to be a hero, one of the strongest, unbreakable people, he had ever seen, had tried to kill himself right in front of him, after doing a fairly good job at trying to kill a team mate with a piece of glass. That just wasn't in the protocol.

"Major Sheppard would not leave a team member behind. We should act like he would want us to." Teyla argued, interrupting.

"He's unconscious and God knows if he'll ever come out of it again." Ford snapped, having reached his boiling point. He hadn't slept since the their first night on the planet and the constant deterioration of their situation while he was technically in command were not something his training had ever prepared him for. "We're trying to get to the nearest planet with a Stargate, land there and 'gate back to Atlantis. They can send a jumper to search for McKay." He said, trying hard to sound determined. Teyla said nothing, knowing that he was in command and had the final say.

The lack of optimism on the part of her friend disturbed her. She had found that most humans were rather optimistic and generally believed in their power to overcome even overwhelming odds. In her time on the team of Major Sheppard, she had seen that mostly the humans seemed to be right. Aside from Dr. McKay, who preferred to believe that everything would go wrong, the rest of the team, believed in good fortune. She wondered what had shaken Ford up that badly that he felt so negative about their situation. They had faced great adversity before and compared to the Wraith the pirates were a laughable enemy. Maybe, it was concern about the injuries of the major and the scientist. But his off-handed remark, about the major's grave condition didn't fit.

----------

Cold. Cold that seemed to penetrate every bone on his body. He had never felt this cold. All Rodney wanted to do was go back to sleep, go back to the place where he wasn't cold. But he was freezing so badly that it hurt. He opened his eyes and recognized the 'house' he had crawled into in the morning. He had no idea how long he had been out, but judging, but the dampness of his clothes, he guessed not longer than twelve hours. It was still light outside and the rain had stopped. Sunlight came in though the openings that had once been windows. If the sunlight carried any warmth, he couldn't feel it. He was numb from the cold. Even his earlier injuries only protested mildly when he struggled to get up to his feet. He still felt ill, but the cold must have temporarily combated the fever.

Slowly, supporting himself on the wall, he went looking for anything that he could use. Something to eat, something to built a fire, something to keep himself warm. His progress was slowly. Every step was a conscious effort. Three steps, then leaning against the wall, catching his breath in shallow gasps, trying to avoid triggering the stabbing pain in his chest. His vision threatened to grey as he was gasping for air. Avoiding the inevitable fall to the hard stone floor, he slid down to the floor. It seemed to take an eternity for his breathing to normalize. The next room seemed to be miles away. He'd never get there and even if he did, what then. He'd maybe find a blanket or something wooden to built a fire. But no matter what happened, he was trapped. Even if hypothermia didn't do him in, the infection from his stab wounds was going to catch up with him sooner or later. His chest ached with every breath since his fall down the ravine and he didn't even want to know what he had managed to bust there. Rodney was a realist. He wasn't going to get off this planet alive. Even on the off-chance that his team mates found him, they were trapped just like he was. It would be a fitting end, but the others didn't deserve to end like this. John didn't deserve this. John wouldn't give up, no matter how dire the situation. Rodney really wished John was there.

TBC?


	5. Fallen

_**Space Pirates**_

_**Chapter 5**_

_A/N: An unexpected free evening came up and I managed to write an update. It's a bit on the short side, but it's a set-up for the next major plot points._

Silence filled the ship. Neither Teyla nor Ford had spoken since they had left the orbit of the nameless planet on which they had been stranded for the past three days. No one spoke of the team mate they were leaving behind. While Ford tried to keep the ship steady in orbit, Teyla tried to find some instruments that would tell them anything about where they were located relative to Atlantis. They had both been on the flight to the planet, but since they hadn't been the ones doing the flying, they hadn't paid attention to the flight plan.

Teyla pressed another button and an image appeared on the small screen built into the console. It showed a stationary green dot and two rapidly approaching red dots, which were clearly heading directly for the green dot. It took her less than a second to figure out what she was seeing. She had managed to activate some form of sensors. They were no longer flying blind.

„Lt. you should see this. I believe we are about to be attacked. We must leave orbit as fast as possible." Teyla said with urgency.

Ford stared at the controls in front of him, feeling panic welling up. It had been mostly luck that he had gotten the ship into orbit. It must have had some sort of autopilot function that had settled them into a position orbiting the planet after taking off. He could feel himself starting to sweat as Teyla watched him expectantly waiting for him to plot a course to escape certain death.

„Lieutenant"„ Teyla asked him sharply, as if it was going to help him any.

In desperation, he punched a button. Something popped up on a screen in front of him. It looked like a menu of some sort. The alien characters filling the screen told him nothing, anything could be written there.

„We have no time. They will reach our position any moment."

Ford was about to snap at Teyla angrily, telling her to do a better job when the ship jolted and they were thrown forward in their seats. A second, more violent blast followed after they had barely had time to recover from the first one. A high-pitched wailing started, probably some sort of alarm indicating that they had suffered damage to a vital part of the ship. It was now or never. Ford started pressing random buttons on the console in front of him. More alarms sounded, but the ship lurched forward and accelerated away from the red dots on the screen that Teyla had brought up. Their attackers didn't seem to pursue them. Still they were far from safe. They were still flying blind, the alarm blaring loudly throughout the ship. Teyla fervently tried to bring up a star map on the screen to try and find out were they were headed, when suddenly the ship rocked violently, and slowed down. They seemed to be pulled towards something, and what Ford assumed to be the controls, didn't react anymore

„Uhm, I think we just got too close to a planet." Ford said, while trying to gain back altitude. „At least something is attracting us."

„We are going to crash?"

„Probably, yes. I don't know why we can't go back up." Ford said helplessly, as both he and Teyla sat in silence waiting for the impact to end their blind descent.

----------

Rodney wasn't cold anymore. The bone shattering shaking had finally stopped, and numbness had replaced the terrible cold that permeated his body to the core. Rodney knew what that meant; it meant that he was dying. After the cold and the shaking, everything went numb, and warm, and then you died. There was nothing he could do. John would have fought until the last minute, no matter how hopeless the situation, But John was dead; he had killed him. John had fought him until the last moment. Rodney blinked. He could see it clearly. Right in front of him, where the ray of sunlight fell on the floor through the entrance, he could see John. He was lying on his back, head turned away from Rodney. His uniform was torn and soaked with blood that was pooling around his body in threatening quantities. This couldn't be real, a small part of Rodney's brain protested, but the voice of reason was weak. He was too far gone to listen to it. The man he had come to save lay before him, murdered by him.

----------

_„John, John!" Someone was shaking him and calling out his name. „John, please wake up. This can't be happening. Please wake up," the frantic voice insisted._

_John opened his eyes and saw a panicked Rodney looming over him._

_„Oh God, thank you, I thought you were-,Are you all right?" Rodney asked with concern._

_John took a moment. They were still in the puddle jumper. The pain had lessened, but blood had now seeped through his shirt. He could already feel the effects of blood loss._

_„No, Rodney, I'm not all right. I have been shot,"he said, trying to get Rodney to understand what was happening. Even though John now knew that this was only the world of his dreams, and that his real body was still lying in a cell on a nameless planet, he didn't want to loose the only place he could escape to, even if it was only in his mind. The people of Atlantis were his only friends. _

_„What can I do?" Rodney asked._

_„We have to go back to Atlantis, Dr. Beckett can fix this." John hoped that it was true. The friendly doctor had taken an evil turn lately. _

_„We can't go back there. They won't let us be together." Rodney protested._

_„I don't want to die, Rodney. Atlantis is our only option. Do you want me to die?"_

_„No, no, of course not. But Dr. Weir will be angry with us. Very angry. She will have us executed. We'll be dead if we go back." Rodney stammered._

_„I don't want you to die, we won't go back. Do you have a planet in mind"„ John decided to play along. Even though he knew that Rodney was only a figment of his mind, over the weeks, he had grown attached to him. Just because he wasn't real, it didn't mean that John's feelings weren't real. He really didn't want Rodney to die._

----------

Their descent seemed to last forever; the wait for the end. Ford tried to think of something substantial, something meaningful for his last moments, but all he could think of was how utterly he had failed his team. They were all going to die because he had failed them.

Teyla, instead of the traditional Athosian prayer to prepare for death, was apologizing. Apologizing for not having done more to save her team mates, for not having done more to deliver her people from the Wraith, for not having been a better leader to her people. But she also was confident that she had made the right choices for her people when she had sought an alliance with the Atlantians.

Neither of them saw it come when the ship finally struck the surface by crashing into a lake. The force of the impact knocked all three occupants of the ship out before the realized what was happening. The ship hurtled down to the bottom of the lake, and then rose to the surface, floating. Small cracks sustained in the impact with the solid ground allowed water to slowly seep into the interior of the ship ,it would only be a matter of time until the ship sank.

TBC (Hopefully by the next weekend)


	6. Crashed

_**Space Pirates**_

_**Chapter 6**_

"_At least you don't have the bullet still lodged in you. It went straight through. I don't think that it hit any of your organs, but I'm not entirely sure. As long as we can stop the bleeding, you should be all right." Rodney babbled on. "Do you need some more for the pain?" He asked, taking in the tension on John's features. "I gave you some morphine from the med kit earlier, but I have no idea how long it'll work."_

"_It's okay. Just get us back to Atlantis." John managed. The pain was starting to come back, but he didn't want to have too many narcotics in his system as he was probably going to have to have surgery to repair the hole in his side. _

"_Elizabeth will be very angry with us." Rodney got up and paced nervously. "She'll punish us for leaving the city. I don't think she will go as far as to have us executed, but she might throw us into the brig or exile us." Rodney's pacing accelerated._

_In spite of the pain, John couldn't help but be shocked at how his dream world was changing. Elisabeth, who had been a fair and strong leader, had apparently become a ruthless dictator, ruling over Atlantis without mercy. But everything seemed better than the reality of being alone in a dark cell, drugged and just waiting to be sold like an animal._

"_I don't think she'll kill you though. I have seen how she looks at you. No, she'll keep you around." Rodney mumbled barely loud enough to hear._

"_Rodney, listen to me. We are going to get back to Atlantis and we are going to be all right. Both of us." John reassured his friend. He hated to see Rodney so worried. Dream or not, he cared about him. It was real to him._

_Rodney stopped pacing and turned to John._

"_You really believe that?"_

"_Yes, I do. And you have to believe that as well. You see, what you think is what is real to you." John said. _

"_Don't go all last words philosophical on me, John, you can't give up yet. Hang on, we are almost there." Rodney pleaded, despair filling his voice. _

"_I'm not going anywhere." John reassured him, even though he felt the pull of oblivion tugging at his mind. But if he gave in, there was a good chance that he might not wake up again._

"_Rodney, you should go over to the controls, you need to dial the gate and transmit your code." John reminded him._

"_I don't want to leave you alone. What if you…" Rodney trailed of._

"_I promise I won't, now go on." John forced a smile._

----------

Teyla woke with a start. She was confused. She couldn't see a thing. Everything was plunged in darkness. The air was filled with the acrid stench of burnt rubber and fabric. She tried to recall what had happened, but only disjointed fragments came to mind. The fight with the aliens on the planet. The ship, their escape. Ford fighting to regain control of the ship. They must have crashed. Aside from her previous wounds sustained in the fight against the animals on the planet of the pirates and a jarring headache, Teyla didn't feel any other pain, indication new injuries. Gingerly, she tried to sit up. Only now she noticed that the ship wasn't level. The rear end was lower then the front. Far more alarming was the fact that her feet were wet. She couldn't see a thing, but the lower portion of the ship seemed to be filling with water. John had been lying in the lower portion of the ship. He would be unable to safe himself. Teyla carefully crawled downwards, trying to find out how high the water stood. Then she moved sideways, hoping the find the major. Feeling the territory in front of her, she finally touched something warm and soft. Exploring further, it was either the major or Ford, but probably the major, since Ford had been in the cockpit with her. Teyla was immensely relieved the find that John's head was safely above the waterline. He could have very easily drowned when they had crashed into water. She tried to grab him by the shoulder and drag him entirely out of the rather cold water. His body didn't budge. Again using her hands to create a mental image of the situation, she found a metal beam of sorts that pinned John down in his current position. As far as she could tell with the advantage of sight, he was in no danger of sliding into the cold water, but the beam was pressing on his chest.

Using all her strength, Teyla tried to push the beam aside. Her efforts were repaid and the beam released John into the water beneath. At the same moment, the fragile balance of the ship was disrupted by her action and with a sudden lurch the ship tilted further and started to submerge fully. Teyla lost her purchase on the steep floor of the ship and fell into the rising water. The all enveloping cold came as a shock, but she immediately searched for John, afraid he was going to drown before she could get to him. She felt a body brush against her, tried to grab it, but couldn't hold on it. Her lungs were already burning when she finally got a grasp on John. Pushing her body to the limit she struggled to get to the surface with the additional weight dragging her down. She wasn't so sure where up was anymore and unable to rely on her sight, the panic dash to escape the wet grave dost her valuable time. When broken metal sliced her skin numbed by the cold water, she was finally sure that they had escape the ship. Her muscles protested as she pushed on to reach the surface. Her head broke through the water and she gasped for air, then a second later making sure that John's head was above water as well. She didn't know how long she remained there, Gasping for air. Eventually her breathing normalized a bit and she swam to the shore, dragging John with her. Careful, she pulled him out of the water and rested him on his back. She hadn't had any chance to check on him until now and was pleasantly surprised to find his pulse still steady. His shallow, slightly wheezing breaths on the other hand worried her. She feared that the metal beam that had pinned him down might have broken some of his ribs. Sliding her hands over his chest, she could feel some unevenness. Sliding her hands over his chest, she could feel some unevenness. Teyla sat down next to John's still form. She hoped that Ford was going to be all right. He hadn't answered her when she had woken up after the crash and she hadn't found him on the ship, but there her first priority had been getting to John since he had couldn't help himself. There was the chance that Ford had drowned with the sinking ship.

----------

_Rodney wasn't sure whether he was already dead and this was a very weird version of the afterlife or whether he was still alive and experiencing a strange hypothermia induced delusion. John's body that was lying in front of him, reminding him of what he had done, reminding him of the burden he would carry for the rest of his natural life and into the afterlife if there was such a thing Rodney had never believed that there was anything beyond life, but right now he was starting to doubt that. The dead, bloodied body started to change, John's form suddenly started to radiate a soft off-white glow. Rodney blinked a couple of times, but the glow only got stronger, enveloping the entire body. The glow continued to grow in intensity. Rodney watched in fascination until the glow became so bright that he had to avert his eyes. Shielding his eyes with a hand, he peaked at what had now become a cloud of glow rising from John's body. The cloud started to take shape and as he watched, almost too stunned to breathe, he saw that the glowing figure hovering over the dead body was John. Some corner of Rodney's mind told him that what he was seeing wasn't really happened but most of him didn't care. Rodney had read reports of Ascension and this seemed similar. But if John was ascending, he was really dead._

"_You think too much." He heard John's voice in his head. The glowy-John smirked at him._

"_I thought you'd be glad to see me. You seemed to be in need of some company. To pass the time, because you can't give up yet."_

"_You're wrong. Hypothermia might not be a problem for a glowing squid like you, but for us mere mortals it's a bit of a downer. Plus, I got stabbed a few times by your alter ego, but don't worry about it. If it weren't for me, you would still be enjoying your life as a human being." Rodney said dryly._

"_It's not like you think it is." John replied cryptically. "So tell me, what have you been up to in the lab lately?"_

----------

Aiden Ford wished he could turn back the clock. He had made so many mistakes during the mission, but his last one was truly unforgivable. He had only thought of himself and had abandoned his team, probably condemning them to certain death. When he had regained consciousness after the crash, all he had seen was the rising after and he had panicked. The prospect of drowning was the worst of all for him. Or the second worst, having the life sucked out of himself by a Wraith was also a horrible way to die. The moment he had realize that they were about the sink, panic had kicked in and rational thought had left. He had climbed out of the ship though the huge tear in the front hull and from then, he'd swam to the shore. He had no idea what had happened to Teyla and John. Teyla hadn't been in the seat next to him when he had woken up, but the impact could easily have tossed her somewhere else. John had been in the rear of the ship, the part that had been filled with water. Maybe it was for the best, Ford caught himself thinking. Still, no matter the odds, he should have tried to save John and Teyla. Instead he had run away, only concerned with his own safety. Now, he was sitting at the shore. They had crashed into a large but shallow lake. The shore was grassy and surrounded by tress. In the distance, all he could see were trees, lots of trees. Far behind the tress were the white summits of gigantic mountains. The sun was still rising, but the temperature was already pleasantly warm and his wet clothes were drying fast. The beauty and peacefulness betrayed the tragedy that had taken place here. He was trapped once again. There was no telling if this planet had a Stargate and even if there was one, it could be on the other side of the planet, far out of his reach. The ship was resting on the bottom of a lake and would remain there for time to come. He kicked some pebbles and watched the rings as they sank into the water. It wasn't supposed to end like this. To ease his restlessness and give himself something to occupy his mind, he decided to explore the shoreline in search of edible plant life. They had had a few rations left, but with the crash they had lost everything. He hadn't spotted anything that looked like fruit yet, but the trees obscured the view of the shore.

Ford hadn't been walking for more than fifteen minutes when he spotted two familiar figures crouched in the high grass. For the first time in a while, a smile crossed his face and a ran towards them.

"Teyla! Are you and the major all right?" He came to a stop next to her. Teyla looked up at him, but her gaze was oddly unfocused. "I'm afraid that Major Sheppard has fractured several ribs in the crash. He has some trouble breathing." Teyla paused. "It seemed that I cannot see at present." For the first time, he heart Teyla sounding not quite as calm as always. Yet still for someone who had suddenly gone blind while stranded on an alien planet, she was still far more calm then most people Ford knew.

"Have you found anything of use?" She asked him.

"No, nothing but trees so far. No sign of any natives. At least the climate seems all right." Ford tried to sound upbeat, but failed miserably.

He sank down to the grass next to Teyla. This was it .They'd never get off this planet. They'd starve to death, get bitten by something deadly or eat something toxic. Ford glanced over to John. He didn't look good. Hell, he looked hardly alive. He was no doctor, but he could tell that John was dying. They had already left Rodney to his fate, John would follow soon after and eventually he and Teyla would die on a nameless planet. Atlantis would list them as MIA. Their relatives would never know what really happened to them. Ford felt tired.

"Lieutenant, do you think it is possible to activate the transmitter of the ship?" Teyla broke the silence.

"I don't know, besides, the ship is at the bottom of a lake."

"I know. Still, if we were to activate the transmitter, would it not be possible to transmit a message to Atlantis. They would be able to find the origin and send help."

Ford thought the idea over.

"Even if the transmitter still works, the chance that Atlantis picks up the message and manages to find us are astronomical. For all we know, the atmosphere could be blocking all transmissions."

"It cannot hurt to try." Teyla insisted.

"Don't you see? We aren't getting off this planet. We are stuck. Take a look at John, he's dying. He's been unconscious for what, four days now, he isn't just going to wake up. If he's bleeding in the brain or something, then even if we get him back to Atlantis, it's too late for Beckett to do anything. The damage is already done. I should have seen it earlier and should have stopped him. Now there is nothing we can do anymore. We couldn't save Rodney and we can't save him either, no matter how much you want to believe that. We cannot even save ourselves." Aiden almost yelled, unloading the frustration that had been building up. He got up and walked away, needing to get away for a while, realizing that he left two defenceless team members alone, but he was past caring at that point. It was not as if they still had weapons to defend themselves with. If any hostiles were to make their position, they would be hopeless.

Teyla didn't reply, arguing with the upset and very emotional man was pointless. She wouldn't let go of hope. Hope was what had kept her people going for a long time. Hope was what kept them rebuilding their village after each attack. Teyla would keep hoping until the end.

----------

_The Jumper sat down softly in the Jumper Bay. _

_Rodney shot John a nervous look. John smiled back, trying to keep the pain off his face. They had not even the chance to exit the Jumper when the hatch was opened from the outside. An impressively built marine grabbed Rodney by the arm and dragged him outside, ignoring Rodney's protests. John didn't have any better luck, two marines pulled him to his feet and dragged him along to the gate room. Nobody seemed to pay any attention to the fact that he was injured. In the gateroom, Rodney was already standing in the middle of the room, looking as scared as John had ever seen him. John was led to Rodney side. As the marines let go off him, he collapsed to the floor, barely managing to hold himself up in a sitting position. Only then John noticed that what seemed like the entire station was gathered in the gateroom standing around them like an audience waiting for a play. Elisabeth emerged from the crowd and stood right in front of the duo. She wore an expression of utter disgust on her face as she looked down on them. _

"_You left the station without my permission, you stole a puddle jumper and you threatened my people. You're hereby guilty of treason." She glared at Rodney._

_Rodney just nodded, looking like he was about to cry._

"_Sergeant Bates, execute him." She coolly demanded. _

_Bates stepped forwards, P90 ready to fire. In rapid succession, he fired six shots into Rodney's chest. The explosion of the shots deafened John as he stared on horror as his friend was thrown back by the impact of the bullets and fell to the floor dead._

_A murmur went to the audience, but overall, everyone seemed to be pleased by what had just happened. John stared at Rodney's body, his eyes fixed on the bullet holes in his chest, when Elisabeth addressed him._

"_John, you deserve to be shot for treason."_

"_Go ahead. I know this isn't real!" John challenged her._

_Elisabeth didn't react._

"_But, I want to keep you around for a while. You are relieved of all your responsibilities and I'll turn you over to Dr. Beckett's care. Don't disappoint me, John."_

_Beckett and two of his aids approached John. He felt the prick of a needle and seconds later, he drifted off, unable to resist._

TBC


	7. Drowned

A/N: Sorry for the long delay. Real life is quite challenging at the moment, but I'm definitely not abandoning this fic. It might just take a while to finish it. I'm trying to get a chapter done every week. Big thanks to everyone who has been reading and waiting patiently. Especially, I want to thank everyone who has been sending me emails regarding the story. You have really been encouraging me to make time and work on this story.

-

Aiden didn't pay any attention to where he was going. His thoughts were trapping his mind, distracting him from his surroundings. He felt exhausted like he had never felt before. Less on a physical level, although he felt the strain of days with hardly any sleep and little food. But compared to the mental weariness, it was merely irritating. He himself did not understand how the situation had gotten this far out of hand and where he had allowed to let himself be overwhelmed by circumstances. He knew fully well that there was nothing he could have done to change events, and even if there was, it was a moot consideration. There was no way to chance to go back and change what had happened. Rationally, he knew that he had to keep his eye on keeping up morale and getting the team back to Atlantis where his team members could finally get the much needed medical attention.

Aiden sat down on a fallen tree. If only it were that easy. He knew what he had to do, but when he was face to face with his team and the accumulation of disasters that had happened, all he could feel was numbness and quiet desperation. Everything they had done had gotten them into deeper trouble and they had been fighting against time from the start. He balled his fists. He was angry. Not at the misfortunes that had struck them. He was angry at himself. He had thought he could handle command better than this. He had thought he'd be more ready. But without anyone there to guide him, he had been in the dark, unable to assert his authority. He recalled bickering with Teyla. Not even she accepted him as he leader when Sheppard wasn't around to back him up. No wonder, she was a natural leader herself, her entire people looked up to her, while he couldn't even lead a small team, that now solely relied on him. In the end, his sense of duty came through, no matter how much anger and guilt he had bottle up inside, for now, survival was their first priority, everything else would come later. Ford took a deep breath and got back to his feet. Even if he couldn't lead them with the same serene calm as Teyla, he could consider her suggestion. He hadn't noticed how far from the lake he had walked. It took him over an hour to rejoin Teyla and Sheppard. Luckily they were still safe on the shore of the lake. The sun had climbed on the sky and the temperature was now reminiscent of a summer's day, but not uncomfortably hot. John and Teyla's clothes' were almost dried by the sun now.

As soon as he approached the pair Teyla called out: "Aiden, is it you?"

"Yes. Sorry, I didn't mean to scare you. Is everything all right?"

"Yes, but I'm worried about John. He seemed restless. I am certain that I felt him move against him before. I tried talking to him, but he didn't respond to him. I'm concerned that he had another seizure. We need to return to Atlantis so that Dr. Beckett can treat him."

Aiden moved over to John's side. He was still as ever since the incident in the cave. When Aiden removed the bandage to check the wound for infection or bleeding John started to move restlessly under his hands. His eyes remained closed, but he was moaning as if in pain.

"Sir? Major Sheppard, can you hear me?" Aiden asked hopefully. He grasped John's hand with a firm grip, but the pressure wasn't returned. The languid movements continued, but all efforts to communicate and further rouse the major failed. He wouldn't wake no matter what the they did, he remained semi-conscious. Teyla was finally able to stop him moaning when she managed to settle him in a comfortable position. Without blanket, they had to make due with their clothes to soften the hard ground. Both Teyla and Aiden maintained contact by holding John's hands until he slipped into unconsciousness hours later. Neither of them had spoken a word during the entire time, but the experience had heightened their spirits. Especially Aiden who had been hard pressed to see any possibility that John could survive could hope that his friend and commander might still come out of the situation alive.

"What did you mean earlier when you were talking about the transmitter?" Aiden asked Teyla, finally breaking the silenence.

"I was thinking that it might be possible to activate the transmitter of the ship to send out a signal. Hopefully it will reach Atlantis. I'm sure they are still looking for us. Dr. Weir will not give up easily." Teyla suggested.

"The ship is on the bottom of a lake, the transmitter might have been destroyed in the crash. But I see what you mean. It might be worth a try, we have nothing to lose. I see no way we can get off this planet." Aiden said, trying not to fall back to his earlier pessimism.

Aiden started to take off his boots, pants and vest. "I'm going to give it a shot. The lake seems to be pretty shallow, the ship isn't far from the surface and the cockpit window is busted. It should be possible to dive down there even without any gear."

"How will you make sure that Atlantis knows that the signal is from us?" Teyla asked, realizing that she hadn't considered that detail in her plan.

"Morse code, it's sort of a code system used for transmission on Earth." Aiden explained without going into any details.

"Be careful" Teyla urged him. In spite of her fearless façade, she was terrified that he plan would endanger Aiden. What if he became trapped in the sunken wreck? What if he spent too much time trying to get the transmitter to work and didn't have enough air in his lungs left to swim back up to the surface. While she could for the moment deal with her own blindness, she was not in any condition to protect her and John from animals, bad weather, or natives.

She heard a splashing sound as Aiden dove into the lake. Now all she could do was wait.

-

_John woke up to the now familiar sounds of the infirmary. While he had been out in his dream world, he had woken up in the real world again. This time, it had been strange. It had been the same hard stone ground and like always everything was shrouded in a deep blackness leaving him totally blind, but this time, he hadn't been cold. His clothes had been wait, but he could have sworn that he had felt sunlight on his skin. That was impossible; no sunlight ever reached his underground prison cell. He had also felt hands touching him. Normally hands touching him always resulted in pain and more drugs. Hands carried needles while other hands pinned him to the ground when he tried to fight back. The hands that had touched him this time hadn't carried any needles nor had they held him down. They had just been there and had held his hands while a soft murmur had carried through the air. Maybe all the drugs were slowly driving him over the edge. Maybe that was why his dreams were going so horribly wrong, Rodney's execution replayed in his mind in gruelling slow motion. He shook his head as if the motion would help remove the image from his mind._

_Slowly he became more cognizant of his surrounding. He was in the infirmary, strapped down to a bed. The curtains were drawn around his bed, preventing him from seeing what was going on around him. Judging by the noise and the light levels it was day on Atlantis. He didn't have to wait long before he heard steps approach. The curtain parted and Dr. Beckett stepped up to his bedside. The doctor's usual friendly expression was replaced by a grin that John could only describe as evil. He was still trapped in the nightmarish world of his dream, John realized. Rodney was really dead. Even though Rodney had never been real and therefore hadn't really died, John missed him far more than he even liked to admit to himself. Rodney had been the only one who had stood by him even when everyone had turned against him._

"_I presume you have finally learned your lesson. Play by the rules, John. Trust me, if it were up to me, you wouldn't get out of here for weeks." Beckett bent down and played with the restraints that bound John to the bed. "But sadly, that's not up to me. I only get to piece you together after that fool Rodney got you shot. I really didn't think you were stupid enough to follow him. He's delusional, has been since his twenties. Why do you think he never worked at the SGC and why they had him shipped of to Russia and now off to another galaxy? They wanted his genius, but wanted to put him somewhere safe at the same time. He's insane. Weir finally put him out of his misery." _

_John was stunned. This couldn't be. "You're lying. It's not Rodney's fault that I got shot, that was Bates and his trigger-happy gang of Marines. Rodney isn't insane!"_

"_I expected you wouldn't believe me. Have a look at his medical file." Beckett tossed a thick folder on the night stand. Before he went to undo the restraints on John's arms, he warned him: "Don't even think about fighting back. You still have stitches in your side and there are armed guards posted just outside. You won't get far."_

_John nodded, he had already planned to elbow the doctor in the face to make his escape, but he realised that he wouldn't get very far. For the moment, he had no choice but to play along and wait for his opportunity._

_-_

The frigid water came as a shock to his system after the heat on the surface. For a precious second he lost orientation, being stunned by the sudden change in temperature. He quickly focused back on his task. His memories had been correct, the ship rested not far beneath the surface of the shallow lake. Even in the murky water, it was easy to spot the entrance to the wreck through the broken front window of the cockpit of the ship. Inside visibility was more of a challenge. He didn't have a flashlight, having lost all of his gear in the crash, so he had to rely on his memory and his hands to guide him around the remnants of what had been the cockpit. He didn't have much time, he could already feel the need for oxygen tugging at his lungs when he finally found what was probably the transmitter. It seemed to be still in one piece, as he ran his hands over the metal surface, searching for a way to turn it on, hoping that it operating independently of the computer system. It would make sense that a transmitter would work even in the event of a catastrophic computer failure, but who knew what the builders of the vessel had been thinking. Ford's fingers found a button of some sort and he pressed down on it. He was rewarded by a red light, penetrating the murky blackness around him. That was it. He didn't have anymore time, the need for air was already leaving his lungs burning. Hastily, he pushed himself upwards, towards the faint light of the lakes surface. He was slightly light headed already and brushed by the burst window of the ship, not being able to sort out his movements properly as the surface suddenly seemed kilometres away. His muscles were tired and he noticed that suddenly his limbs seemed to be made of lead. The weight was threatening to pull him under, away from the vague light far above. Aiden closed his eyes, resigned to his fate. The burning in his lungs had long stopped by now. He felt at peace for the first time in ever since the mission to the market when John had been taken. This was how it was going to end. There had never been another way.

_-_

Dr. Weir was sitting in her office trying to map of likely planets for future missions. During their explorations of the city, scientists had recently found a sort of an Ancient library. Translations were going slow, but so far they had sound what seemed like a database a planets, listing their resource and inhabitants. Of course the data was vastly outdated, but still had served them as a rough guide and they had sent teams to two planets based on the database already and had found suitable land for agriculture along with edible native vegetation. There were several more planets on the list of entries that they had translated so far that had gotten her attention and were worth exploring. Even though she was excited by the find, she couldn't help her attention shifting to her primary exploration team which had been gone for four days by now. There had been two heated discussion about launching a second rescue mission, but no matter how much everyone wanted to get the team back. There were too many risks and too many unknowns. They would most likely be vastly outnumbered without knowing were the missing members were, if they were even still alive. Still, in spite of all the rational arguments, Dr. Weir felt that she had made the wrong choice not pursuing the matter further and sending a second time to at least gather intelligence on the situation on the pirates's planet. But she knew that Bates had been right, she would be risking more lives.

A knock on the door got her attention.

"Yes, come in." she answered. Dr. Grodin entered, looking excited. As soon as he had entered he started to speak.

" We are scanning the area for any unusual signals, just as you ordered. A few minutes ago, we started picking up a signal. We don't know what it means, it just repeats over and over again. Our current theory is that it is some form of a distress call. We have triangulated it's position, it's coming from a planet in the same solar system as the planet were Major Sheppard was being held prisoner. Dr. Zelenka believes he can work out the exact coordinates but it will take him a bit of time. I though you wanted to know immediately."

-

_For a while there, Rodney had really managed to forget about the trouble he was really in. he had been talking to John, they had snarked at each other, they had laughed. They interacted like friends, regardless of the fact that John was a glowy figure which probably only existed in Rodney's mind. Rodney started to get tired and hopelessness started returning. The glowing figure of his friend had disappeared as had the image of his dead body, convincing Rodney even more that everything had just been a figment of his mind slowly shutting down. His usual response to doom was to give up. What had he been thinking, spending hours talking to himself, or rather to a hypothermia induced hallucination of a man for who's death he was probably responsible. He wasn't so sure about whether or not he had killed John or not. He had replayed the events so many times in his mind, in waking times, in dreams and in delusions. He could no longer tell the difference between what he really happened and what had only happened in his mind. It didn't matter anymore. Rodney pulled his knees closer, trying to find a comfortable position on the hard stone floor of the ruins he had sought shelter in. He was about the drift off, when a warm wind brushed over him and he heard a familiar voice._

"_Rodney, Rodney, I know you are tired, but you can't give up. Rescue is on it's way They are coming to get up, but you to stay awake. You can't give up now. It's only a couple more hours. I'll stay with you as long as I can." John sounded positively like he was pleading. _

_Rodney tentatively opened his eyes. Glowy-John was back, illuminating the entire room. He wore a concerned expression as he looked down on Rodney. "Come on Rodney, don't give up. What would Atlantis do without your superior brain?"_

"_The others aren't that stupid. They'll manage." Rodney mumbled, closing his eyes again. He had never felt that tired in his entire life. All he wanted to do was sleep, as far as he was concerned, the world could end and he wouldn't care._

_There was a pause before glowy-John spoke again._

"_If you won't fight this for your sake or for Atlantis, will you try for me?" he spoke softly and Rodney barely heard the word._

"_What difference does it make to you. You're already dead. Even better, you've ascended, you don't have to worry about us mere mortal anymore."_

"_John's not dead, I'm just a part of him. If you stay awake, I'll explain everything to you. But you have to promise me that you'll stay awake until help arrives. It won't be long. John is going to need you."_

"_He's really still alive?"_

"_He isn't in very good shape right now, but he's alive. _

_Rodney was immensely relieved. He still wasn't sure whether all this was real or just another, more elaborate illusion, but he decided to believe glowy-John. It was not like he had anything left to lose._

_TBC_


	8. Sought out

_**Space Pirates**_

_**Chapter 8**_

Teyla carefully listened for any sound coming from the lake. Having grown up without the luxury of watches, her internal clock was highly developed. She knew that Aiden needed to come up for air any second now. But no sound came from the lake. All she could hear was the soft wind brushing through the grass at the shore. Without her sight, she only had the sound to guide here. If she jumped into the water, she would not be able to see if Aiden was injured or in some other kind of trouble. But if she remained at the shore and did nothing then she gave up every chance of helping her friend and team mate. Even if blind, there was only a minute chance that she could help Aiden, she had to try. They needed him; both she and John needed Aiden to survive on this alien world. They needed him if there was any hope of them returning to Atlantis. With that same conviction that accompanied all her actions, Teyla unlaced her boots, left them at the shore and waded into the lake. The depth of the water rapidly increasing, she dove under quickly knowing that she was doing the right thing, only hoping that she was in time.

Even underwater, sound served as her guide. She could her something, down and to her right, she followed it. Orientation was harder than she had thought, but she had determination on her side. Something brushed by her arm. It was only a brief sensation, but caught her full attention. She immediately changed her direction and tried to follow the unseen object, grasping in the literal dark. Finally, she felt something solid under her fingers. It was time. Soon she would not to get back to the surface for air. She felt the fabric between her fingers and used both hands to grab it. Getting a better grip, she realized that it was indeed an arm. Overjoyed that she had localized her missing friend, she tried to pull him upwards, but found the task next to impossible. His weight was dragging both of them down into the deadly depths of the lake. She could either let him go and rush to the surface and get the much needed oxygen or hold on to him and probably condemn them both to drown. She had to get Aiden to help her, alone she would never be able to drag his weight to the surface. She tugged on his arm, but got no reaction. Already feeling a burning need for air in her lungs, Teyla tried for a final time before giving in to the realization that she could not save her friend. She grabbed Aiden's arm and tried as hard as she could to swim towards where she thought was the surface. As she pushed upwards, she hit something solid. The ship, she realized. She had made some progress. Suddenly, she heard some muffled noise behind her. The limp arm in her grip came to life, struggling against her. She instinctively let go, her own need for oxygen taking over. She couldn't wait any longer. Teyla came to the surface panting for air. For the first few second, her entire focus was taken up by taking in the life-giving air. Once her breathing had settled a bit, she could focus on her environment enough to her something else breaking the surface of the water, taking in air in rapid gasps. She allowed herself a smile, knowing that Aiden was still alive.

* * *

"I'm finished with my calculations now. I couldn't pinpoint the exact location the signal was sent from, but I have narrowed it down to less than a square mile." Dr. Zelenka reported to Dr. Weir over the communications system.

"Excellent work doctor. That means that we can send a team to the planet. Please meet us in the conference room in ten minutes." There was no telling what was awaiting them on the planet, so they had to be prepared for everything. A full military team was in order. She would not long have to search for volunteers for this mission. Bates and his men who had been part of the original rescue mission already had made it clear that they were more than ready to man a second rescue mission.

Less than half an hour later a rescue mission wait Bates' team and as an addition, Dr Beckett and Dr Kang, another medic, left Atlantis.

* * *

_With his now freed arm John reached for Rodney's file. The movement sent a sharp pain through his recently injured side, but it didn't hurt nearly as much as he would have expected, leading him to wonder, how long exactly he had been out. In this weird nightmare, there was no telling how long Beckett had kept him drugged. Days could have passed during which his injury would have healed. John opened Rodney's file, trying to settle into a somewhat comfortable position on the flat bed with his ankle's still bound securely to the bed. _

_The next hour revealed horrors that he would never have thought possible. Even though he kept reminding himself that it was all just a nightmare, he still couldn't help but be horrified and disgusted in disbelief. This wasn't the Rodney he knew. The man described in the medical file sure was he genius, but one that had long lost touch with reality. First incidence of mental illness in his late teens: the Rodney McKay described in the medical file had started to withdraw from society, had refused to talk to anyone, had hid for days in his room. Even though, he was convinced that Rodney was as sane as he was, John had to concede that Rodney did have a tendency to hide from certain situations and he might not have the most developed social skills. Maybe twenty years ago, among being misunderstood by teachers and parents, Rodney had seen no other way to cope with the world, John reasoned, trying to explain to himself what he was reading. But what followed could not be explained away that simply. In the years following, Rodney had apparently started to experience increasingly severe. and violent hallucinations. The file spoke of multiple hospitalizations, forced drug regimens, but apparently Rodney had always refused to see that he was ill. John's read was interrupted when Beckett reappeared at his bedside._

"_Do you see now? He has been a nutcase all along. If he hadn't been this bloody brilliant none of us would have had to put up with him. If Elizabeth hadn't forced him to at least accept regular haldol injections he wouldn't have lasted nearly as long as he did." Beckett said, snatching the file from John. "Reading time is over. You have a visitor. Dr. Weir is here to see you. Word is she has plans for you. I told her that you need some more time to heal, but I doubt she she'll change her mind based on what I say." Carson tilted his head. A moment later Dr. Weir strode through the doors and headed straight towards John's bed._

"_Please leave us." With a nod she dismissed the doctor._

_Without a word, she sat down on the edge of John's bed. She gave a bright smile._

"_John. I'm glad to hear from Dr. Beckett that you are well on your road to recovery. There is much to do. I have plans for us." She ran a hand through his hair and her smile brightened even more.When John didn't reply, she moved down to undo the restraints on his ankles._

"_You shouldn't be all tied up like this. It can't be very comfortable. We'll find a more comfortable place for you." Elizabeth rested her hand on his thigh and smiled a creepy smile at him._

* * *

Teyla rested her hand on John's chest, feeling the reassuring regular motion beneath her hand. Although unwell, their leader was still alive. Aiden sat a few meter away, still coughing. He was sure he had some water in his lungs and he had some trouble breathing. From where he had scrapped the ship's broken front window, he had some fairly deep, bleeding gashes in his side, but he wasn't going to bother Teyla with his worries. She had enough on her mind as it was. She was probably already worried about him. She had already asked him several times, whether he was alright since they had come back from the lake. It had been a close call. Aiden knew that the reality of it would take time to sink in. He had seen similar situations in battle. At first there was only the giddiness at having survived. For the moment they were still in the middle of a crisis. At least he had succeeded in turning on the transmitter; Hopefully Atlantis caught their signal and sent out a team to investigate.

"Thank you Teyla, you saved my life down there." Aiden recalled that he hadn't even thanked her for what she had done, even though the act had been extraordinaire given the conditions.

"You are welcome. It was the only thing I could do. Where you successful in turning on the transmitter?"

"Yes, there is no way of telling whether it's going to work, but it's on now. All we can do is hope. I'm going to look for something edible for us. I saw some fruit earlier. We might try them. Not that we have anything else to eat." Aiden suggested. Not that he felt up to walking around and foraging for food, he just wanted to lie down. The cuts hurt like hell even though he had fashioned a bandage with what used to be his shirt. It was not like Teyla or Sheppard could see it. But he continued coughing and wheezing and although Teyla had not brought it up, she was bound to have noticed. Aiden simply needed some time to think, but he didn't want to leave Teyla and Sheppard alone.

"I won't be gone long. It's still day, but the sun is already setting. I won't be gone longer than an hour, the fruit were growing not very far from here."

"For the water, I think it is safe to risk drinking from the lake, when we crashed, I swallowed quite some water and I have no felt ill since." Teyla said.

"I agree. The water seems to be safe enough to drink. Still we drink away from where the ship crashed. Too bad we haven't go anything to collect the water in."

"As long as we stay close to the lake it will not be a problem. We should stay here in case Atlantis sends help. They will not know where to search if we leave to location of the transmitter."

"You're right. I'll be back as soon as I can." Aiden got up from his sitting position, suppressing a moan. His side hurt, but now was not the time to complain. His injuries were not life-threatening, that much he knew even with his very limited medical training. Unless he got a nasty lung infection from the water, he was going to be fine. The cuts in his side were going to be painful and would probably get infected but they were not fatal. There was no use in Teyla worrying over him. He was more worried about her. He had hoped that her loss of sight was only temporary, but the blindness was lasting awfully long. And although he had regained some hope regarding John's condition, he was saw mostly bleak scenarios in his CO's future.

Teyla was having her own worries. She had well sensed that Aiden was not as well as he had let her to believe. She had heard his wheezing breath and the stifled coughs, but she had chosen not to talk to him about it. They had also not talked about what had happened out in the lake. About why Aiden had been there, nearly drowning. Both Aiden and Teyla where worn out, physically and mentally reaching their limits. They just reacted to the situation in different ways. Aiden was tossed into the position of the leader in a no-win situation that deteriorated constantly. He was starting to crumble under the pressure to bring his team home. To him, he had failed his team and his CO. Teyla had brought more acceptance to their desperate situation. She too would do everything to save them, but if it came to it, she was the most ready of them to accept that there was no way out. Her upbringing in a society that lived under the constant threat of the Wraith had taught her acceptance of the inevitable.

The sun was sinking faster than Aiden had anticipated. They had to be close to the equator of the planet. Aiden slowly walked through the underbrush, trying to remember where he had seen the bushes with the purple leaves and equally purple, plum like fruit. He had no way of knowing whether they were edible but they had to give it a try. There was still enough light filtering through the foliage above to see where he was going, but the colours were already starting to mesh together to a dark grey. Finally, he reached the point where the bushes he had spotted in the morning grew. He picked four firm, but still somewhat soft fruits and was just about to turn back and return to their camp by the lake when he heard a high whirring buzzing overhead in the sky. He looked up, but his view was blocked. He didn't need to see to know what had just flown overhead. This had been the buzzing of a Wraith Dart. Dropping the fruit he had picked, he turned and ran as fast as he could.

* * *

"_So how come you are all glowy?" Rodney asked._

"_It's all part of the whole ATA deal." Glowy-John replied flippantly._

"_You mean, it's because part of you is Ancient. Carson has a theory that you have more of the Ancient genes that have just not been discovered yet. The Ancient did ascend, they didn't die. At least I don't think so. It's all a bit confusing right now. But if John is not dead, then how can you be ascended? Are you John's Ancient part of sorts?"_

"_That's how you could put it. John is more Ancient than you think. But don't tell him I said so." glowy-John gave him a smirk that reminded Rodney very much of the real John. If this was a hallucination, it was a really good one. Suddenly, the glowy figure flickered. Rodney blinked, thinking he had imagined it. But there it was again, John was really flickering._

"_What is going on?" he asked, starting to panic._

"_Uhm, I'm not sure. I'm going to be back as soon as I can." Glowy-John started to fade, the room started to darken again. "Stay strong Rodney, they are going to be here soon. I just need to take care of John for now, he is in a bit of trouble right now. But I'll be back. You just hang on. Don't go to sleep!"_

* * *

Teyla had heard the threatening buzzing in the sky and had known what was coming, She knew that she couldn't do anything from where she was. The Wraith would find them, wherever they were on the surface. All she could do was wait and listen. She felt it before she heard it. It was the familiar cold rush that wrapped itself like an ice blanket over her, she could sense that the Wraith were coming. They had probably landed somewhere further away and were now encroaching on her position.

_TBC_


	9. Ragged

_**Space Pirates**_

_**Chapter 9

* * *

**_

Teyla could feel the branches slapping her face, the occasional thorns scratching her skin as she stumbled over roots and stones on her way into the forest. Her shoulders were aching from the heavy weight of Major Sheppard, whom she was dragging with her, doing the only thing she could think of to protect to two of them from the Wraith. They could not leave the planet, there was no where to run from the Wraith. Going into the forest was the only chance they had of possibly hiding from the Wraith. But Teyla was without sight since the crash, moving even in the rather light underbrush was difficult. She kept walking into tress and bushes and the uneven forest ground had sent her falling to her knees more than once already. At least she couldn't sense the Wraith coming closer at the moment. She had felt them approach back at their camp at the lake. Now that she and John had fled into the forest, she could still feel their presence, but they were getting further away. Teyla harboured no illusions, the Wraith knew that they were there and they would not leave until they had located their prey. She could only hope that Aiden too had noticed the Dart flying over them and had not returned to the lake where he was sure of running into the Wraith.

Teyla's foot bumped into something solid. Feeling forward, she recognized it as a fallen log. When she made a bigger to step over it, she expected to step on solid ground on the other side, but instead, it was a rather steep downward slope. She lost her footing and as she tumbled down once again, she lost her grip on John. She only slip down a little bit before she gained a solid hold. As she tried to get to her feet again, determined to feel her way uphill and find John again, a sharp pain shot through her already injured leg. It had been aching all along, because the bite wound had become infected, but not like this. Teyla bit her lip and put most of her weight on her other foot. This time she tried to get back uphill with the help of her legs, but still she kept sliding down again while white hot pain shot through her leg. This had to be more than just the infected bite wound. Somehow she had to have injured herself more in the fall. It didn't seem like anything was broken, but beyond that Teyla couldn't tell. Still she didn't give up easily. She tried another two times to get up the fairly muddy hillside, before she had to conceded that she was not going to get there without help. This was going to have to serve as their hiding place from the Wraith. She had just to hope that they were deep enough in the forest. Her hopes were shattered soon. It could only have been minutes when the chilling wave rushed towards her anew, alerting her anew that the Wraith's presence was getting closer to them. Mercilessly, she could feel the Wraith come closer. At this time she cursed her ability to sense the enemy even though it had saved her life and that of her companies several times. This was it, she thought. She had been raised, prepared for that moment to come. She had always been aware that one day, she would not be able to escape. She had been lucky many times when her parents, her brother and many of her friends had not been lucky. It had not been a question, but a certainty that her luck would run out one day. The presence was close now, the Wraith must now by close by. She heard heavy footsteps even on the soft forest ground. The air carried a sharp hiss and a deep growl. Teyla was waiting for the touch and the unimaginable pain to come, but it doesn't happen. Only a scream punctures the night. The Wraith found John first.

* * *

The ship in orbit of the planet had shown up on their sensors almost ten minutes ago. Initially, they had been too far away to get any more details from their instruments, but even as they got closer, the ship turned out not to be familiar. The only thing they did know was that it wasn't friendly. Before the Puddle Jumper had been in weapon's range, the other ship had launched fire at them. Luckily, they were still too far away.

Stackhouse was piloting. So far they hadn't returned fired, but he had the weapons at the ready, should the other ship attack them again. Markham was studying the sensor for information about the planet.

"So far, I'm not getting much. Nothing on energy, it doesn't seem populated, but the signal we received back in the city, it's definitely coming from here. We have Zelenka's estimated co-ordinates in the computer…hang on. I'm getting something else…another ship down in the atmosphere."

"Can you bring it up on screen?" Bates asked impatiently. This was turning out more complicated than he had hoped for. He just hoped that they were not getting in the middle of some alien race's conflict here.

"Here it is. It's not a ship."

"No, definitely not." Bates said. They all saw it. It was a Wraith Dart.

"Can we get it from here?" Bates asked.

"No, it's down in the atmosphere, we are too far from the planet. We'd have to be down in the atmosphere itself to att-"

He was interrupted as a blast rocked the ship. The small, previously unidentified ship that had attacked, but not reached them before had fired at them again, in this time, they had been in range. Stackhouse immediately returned fire, hitting them, but not hindering them from continuing their attack. The Puddle Jumper pilot managed to dodge the next two blasts, but get caught by part of the third. They scored four solid hits themselves before the enemy ship ceased its assault and unexpectedly launched a Wraith Dart.

"It's a fuckin' Wraith Ship! Who knows how many Darts there are." Bates swore, now that they had to targets to keep them occupied.

The enemy had no clearly an advantage over them and got two solid hits at them before they had to chance to return fire. Alarms started blaring on the Puddle Jumper and Stackhouse's expression had a certain alarm to it. He fired another, as it turned out, fatal blast at the small Wraith ship.

"That's it, we are going to have to land." Stackhouse yelled.

"Now!" Bates yelled back. This mission was going downhill fast.

"Now, we are lucky if we aren't going to crash."

"There are probably Wraith down there."

"It's either landing as soon as possible are risking the engine core blowing up here."

"Do it!"

* * *

Ford was panting heavily. Almost drowning had taken a lot out of him. Far more than he was willing to admit, even to himself. He rested for a moment, bending down, with his hands resting on his knees. He greedily sucked in air, but still felt like he was suffocating. Another fit of coughing shook his entire body. He had no time for this, he had to go back to John and Teyla and warn them about the Wraith. He had to protect them. He had no idea how without any weapon more advanced than a stick. Teyla would be able to fight off a Wraith with a branch, but he needed a P90 to do it. Maybe he should take a leaf out of the major's book and ask Teyla for lesions in Athosian stick fighting or whatever they called that particular martial art. He straightened, suppressing a pained groan and started running again, towards the lake where John and Teyla were. Where they hopefully were. He could simply not be too late for them. The Wraith could not get to them first. He didn't think he would survive failing all of his team mates. In a way he already had. Rodney was probably dead, John might never wake up again and Teyla was blind.

His dark thoughts at least kept his focus of the pain in his body and allowed him to push himself to the limit as he ran back to the lake. He reached to edge of the tree line and stopped. Careful to stay hidden behind a tree to scanned the area. Nothing, there was nobody. No John and no Teyla. They were gone. Fear shot through Aiden. He was alone now. Something was moving in the grass by the far side of the lake. Two Wraith emerged, obviously searching the area for someone to suck dry. If the Wraith were searching, did the mean that John and Teyla had escaped. Maybe they were trying to hide. But how, Teyla was blind and besides she would have to drag John, she couldn't carry him. The two Wraith were still occupied search by the lake, but they were vaguely headed in his general direction, so Aiden slipped back into the forest. He didn't know where to go. There was no safe place from the Wraith and it was almost night now, not ideal conditions to play hide and seek with the enemy. It would impossible to find John and Teyla and this maze of trees and bushes, so a headed into a random direction, trying to put the maximum distance between himself and the Wraith. His body was burnt out. Running was no longer an option. He was panting now even when he was walking; he had to go more slowly. He walked until he couldn't make another step. To his discouragement he hadn't gotten very far before he had to rest on a fallen log. But when he finally sat down, he nearly fell so weak were his knees. The canopy wasn't very dense there, there was probably a clearing ahead. Not being able to move anymore, Aiden looked up at the stars. The stars reminded him of home. All the planets he had visited. He was living an extraordinary live, in another galaxy. Still, he would have loved to see the stars above Earth once more. But no, he was going to die on this nameless planet a galaxy away from Earth. If the Wraith didn't get him tonight, they'd get him tomorrow. They would not give up and eventually they would get him.

Glancing back at the stars, he wondered about his friends back at Atlantis. He had long lost track of how many days they had been gone. He only knew that he had not slept or eaten in several days. Where they still looking for them? Had they gotten their signal?

As if in answer to his thoughts, an object appeared in his field of vision. It was a ship. At the first glace, he panicked, thinking it was another Dart, but as the ship became bigger as it descended not too far away, he recognized that the shape was vastly different and the characteristic sound of the Darts was absent. In fact, the engines of the ship were quiet, too quiet and its descent was very fast as it quickly disappeared between the trees. A landing in a forest?

Against all hope, Aiden allowed himself to just consider the possibility of rescue. What if the ship was from Atlantis. It looked like a Puddle Jumper, even though it was dark. The spark of hope triggered reserves he didn't knew he had. He got up from the log. His body still protested in pain, but there was a new source of energy burning inside him. It was sheer desperation. If there was a chance that they were going to be rescued than he would not miss it. If it was not the hope for rescue than he had nothing to lose. With the Wraith after them, they were as good as dead. The Wraith would hunt them down one by one. So he pushed forward, one step at the time towards where he had seen the ship go down.

_TBC_


	10. Found

_**Space Pirates**_

_**Chapter 10

* * *

**_

"_Thank you, nurse." Elizabeth thanked the young woman, who had wheeled John from the infirmary to her quarters. Dr. Beckett had protested that John was not yet fit to leave, but Elizabeth had plain told him to shut up or suffer the consequences. She had specified what these consequences would be, but seeing that Beckett had paled at the prospect, John assumed that it was serious and that Elizabeth meant what she said. She had also ignored John's own protestations about his side still hurting every time he moved, but had eventually conceded to take John in a wheelchair. This was not how John had wanted it to go. John had planned to get her to stay in the infirmary. So far he had spent the most time with Beckett in this nightmarish world. He had some idea of what made the man tick. He couldn't make out Elizabeth. Besides, Beckett had only limited power over John's fate; Elizabeth on the other hand was all powerful on Atlantis. And last but not least, he preferred Beckett's sneering and baiting over Elizabeth's dubious advances. But in the end, only Elizabeth's word counted._

_Elizabeth pushed him inside her quarters. At first he was stunned at their seize. The room had more the proportions of a hall than anything else. It was dominated by a huge four poster bed, with red satin sheets. It just looked tacky and wrong to John. Just like everything in this bizarre world. _

"_You must be hungry" Elizabeth caressed his cheek. "Carson didn't feed you in the infirmary, did he?"_

"_No, he didn't" John answered, deciding to play along for now and see what Elizabeth was up to. She had to have some reason for getting him from the infirmary. He was curious about those plans she had mentioned. It might all be a dream, but all his real life amounted to was wasting away in a cell, this was his reality._

"_I had Aiden bring us something to eat. The table is set out on the balcony. But you might want to change before we go out there. I got you some clothes from your quarters." She handed him a folded pair of jeans and a black tee-shirt._

_Elizabeth helped him get up and walk over to the bathroom to get changed. His side still hurt, but whatever Beckett had put him on was doing its job. Without too much pain, he managed to change. When he was done and walked back into the main room, Elizabeth had changed as well. She was wearing a very form-fitting, crimson dress, appropriate for a far more festive occasion than a simple dinner._

"_You look stunning, major." Elizabeth said._

"_So do you, doctor." John gave her his best smile. Still moving a bit stiffly, he followed her to the balcony._

_Out of habit, he tried to think open the door to the balcony, but it refused to budge. He frowned. Elizabeth turned around, obviously having noticed. _

"_I had Beckett deactivate your gene John. Don't worry, it's only temporary. But for now, it would only get in the way." Her smile never wavered, but John could see a glint of something else in her eyes. It reminded him of Kolya._

"_That's okay." He nodded, when he realized that Elizabeth expected a response from him. In reality this was very much not okay. He could burry any escape plans right now. To fly he needed the gene. He had to get on Beckett's good side and get him to unblock the gene. What was Beckett so afraid of that Elizabeth would do? John was determined to find out._

_They sat down at the table. The table was beautifully arranged. John wondered where Elizabeth had gotten the table cloth, the wine glasses and the beautifully ornate white plates from. Elizabeth raised her glass._

"_To our partnership"_

"_To our partnership."_

_John took a sip of the wine and gazed over the ocean. It couldn't be. But it was no trick of the sun. It was real. The shield was up. He turned to Elizabeth._

"_Elizabeth, the shield, how…"he trailed off, as his vision started to blur. Damn, he should have known better and stayed away from the wine. He grabbed the edge of the table to stay steady, but gravity failed him and the ground rushed towards him.

* * *

_

Time had ceased to exist for Aiden as he made his way towards where the ship had gone down. He clung to the hope that it was the long awaited rescue. This hope was the only thing pushing him forward now, one step after another. He didn't know whether ten minutes or an hour had passed when he smelled something acrid in the air, the smell of something burning. Somewhere in his head an alarm sounded, weakly warning him that this was dangerous. A fire in a forest was a bad thing. He was too intend on finding the ship to heed the warning of his weakening rational mind. The smell intensified, telling him that he was going in the right direction. When he heard voices in the distance, his pace quickened. Maybe it was the fatigue and the stress, but he thought he could detect a hint of familiarity in the muddled voices. As he came closer, bits and pieces of sentences floated towards him.

"…much longer?"

"With all….asked me twice…"

"…fire under control."

Aiden now saw the beams of several flashlights cutting through the night. A wave of giddiness washed over him. It was really the rescue party from Atlantis. He could hardly belief it and some part of him still didn't trust his perception, insisting that the sleepless days must be getting to him. With a last bit of rational thought, Aiden raised his arms, as he stepped into the visual range of the downed Puddle Jumper. He didn't want to risk getting shot by their own.

What happened next seemed almost surreal to him. He had thought about it so often, that now, as he was actually being rescued, it all but overwhelmed him. As anticipated, as soon as he was no longer hidden behind the trees, he found himself at the wrong end of a P90. But suddenly, he had no idea how and when it had happened, he was supported by Bates and Markham and led to the rear end of the Jumper. They were talking but he didn't understand them. He was to busy trying to get his legs to obey him. He looked up and saw Dr. Beckett look at him with concern. The next thing he knew, he was lying on something hard¸ looking at what was probably the ceiling of the Jumper. Lying down felt good. He hadn't done that in a while. In fact he couldn't recall the last time he had been lying down. The dizziness was receding and his mind regained some of its focus. All came back with clarity. John and Teyla. They were still out there. Without any help. He had to find them and get them to safety before the Wraith got to them. That was assuming that they hadn't already. Suddenly desperate about his still missing team mates, he rushed to sit up. Beckett had not been prepared for the movement and was knocked aside. The doctor thought Aiden was confused and disoriented, so he tried to reassure him. 

"Lie back down. You're safe now, but you need to lie down so that I can help you." He put a hand on Aiden's shoulder, lightly pushing him down, but not forcing the action.

"John and Teyla." Aiden gasped before launching into a coughing fit. "The Wraith, I have to find them, they are still somewhere, but I lost them. I couldn't find them. I have to go."

"Sergeant Bates and Lieutenant Markham are already searching for them. They will find them. You don't need to worry. Just lie down again."

"Don't want to lie down, I can't breathe lying down." Aiden argued. His head was spinning again and he knew that he was going to pass out. He had used up the last bit of his reserves on the way to the ship.

Beckett nodded and settled Aiden against one of the bulkheads before continuing his assessment of the man's injuries.

* * *

John's ears were ringing with the force of a loud scream. Pain, there was nothing but darkness and pain. Pain that burned his body alive, tore his muscles apart and broke every bone in his body at once. He couldn't see, he couldn't breath and all he could hear was the never-ending scream. The scream died and he realized it had been his own. The force sapped from his body. Despite the pain his eyes flew open. He found himself staring into the distorted face of a Wraith who was riding the thrill of his meal. He sill couldn't breath. He was paralyzed by pain and could do nothing but stare into the face of his killer. He could already feel the pain numbing in his extremities and knew that this was not a good sign. As long as he was in pain, he was alive. 

An explosion sounded close by and a second later a weight fell on his chest. The Wraith who had been feeding on him, fell down on him, his blood spilling on him, mixing with his one where he was bleeding from attack. The pain was ebbing away and he could finally draw a breath. He wanted to shove the dead body off himself, but his body wouldn't obey the commands of his mind. Suddenly the corpse was moved and a hand was on his neck. The face above him was blurred at first, but then flicked into focus. He knew the man. He was a friend. His mouth was moving, and his was kneeling down next to him. Another face came into view. A woman. Teyla. Was that her name? It sounded right. He couldn't see clearly, everything was getting dark again. John gratefully sank back into blackness.

"Damn, we need to get him to Beckett asap." Bates hissed as Sheppard's eyes slid shut again. His pulse was still there, but it was weak and the shallow movements of his chest were just barely enough to convince him that the man was breathing. The bright light of the flashlight highlighted the pale face and his black shirts, glistening was dark blood where the Wraith had touched him. Markham had helped Teyla get up the incline was looking out for further Wraith while Teyla was also crouched next to Sheppard, maintaining contact with him.

"We're leaving." Bates ordered. "I'll take Sheppard, Markham, you'll take Teyla." It would be a hard walk back with the rough terrain and the two injured, but they had little choice.

"I can walk." Teyla insisted weakly.

"You still can't see." Bates pointed out sharply. "The major doesn't have any time to lose, we're leaving now."

* * *

_John woke with a gasp. He had dreamt that he couldn't breathe. That was only thing that he could truly recall, the feeling of being suffocated. That and pain, terrible pain. He wasn't in pain now and he could breathe. His surroundings came into focus. He was lying on the red satin sheets of the four poster beds, still in Elizabeth's quarters. He recalled the wine. Something was in his face. He tried to move his hand to remove the object, but found that his wrists were tied to the bedposts, as were his ankles. He turned his head to his side and saw Carson standing on his right, watching him. He seemed to enjoy watching him struggle. But beyond the smile on his face, John still thought he detected some concern on his face._

"_Lie still, John" he said. "There is an IV in your hand and you don't want to tear it out."_

"_What happened?" John asked. His own voiced sounded muffled to his ears, the foreign object in his face had to be an oxygen mask. He had to pretty good idea of what happened. Elizabeth had him drugged by putting something in his wine, but he was still surprised to end up with Beckett again._

"_Let's say that Elizabeth overdid it a bit. It's a shame really. She should have finished you off all the way. Instead she called me to here to fix you up again. You were already started to get blue in the face when I got here. She should really have called me sooner." Beckett told him as he checked John's pulse._

_Even though Beckett sounded fairly casual, John was sure there was some concern hidden behind his words. Now was the time to find out how Elizabeth had the doctor under control. Before John could say anything, Beckett went on._

"_You should really be back in the infirmary, I need to run some tests, but she wouldn't allow it. You have to be careful, the poison did a number on your heart. " That sounded almost like the doctor he knew. It was now or never._

"_Can you reactivate my gene?" John asked._

"_Now why would I do that?"_

"_I can't fly without the gene."_

"_It's game over for the fly boy." Beckett laughed. "There isn't even a way to reactivate the gene. She has lied to you. I didn't figure out a way to deactivate the gene. We got the drug from the Yularans. There was no an antidote. Elizabeth is the only one with a gene now. I gave her the gene and then I deactivated everyone else's gene."_

"_Why did you do it? Where you afraid that she'd kill you?"_

"_No, she wouldn't kill me. She controls the medication supply."_

_TBC_


	11. Encircled

A/N: And the tale continues. It hasn't been going fast, but I'm not giving up on the story any time soon. I just want to thank everyone who is still reading and reviewing.

* * *

The trek through the forest towards the Jumper seemed longer than the distance they had covered during their flight. Even though Markham held her arm firmly, guiding her and preventing her from falling to the ground, every step was a challenge. The pain from her injured leg seemed to slice through her muscles every time she put weight on the appendage. The pain was intense enough to bring tears to her eyes, but she was determined not to complain. They were in dangerous territory and the quicker they got to the relative safety of the Jumper the better. She bit her lip and struggled onwards, once again almost falling to the ground as her foot got caught under a root. She had to bite her lip to prevent herself from crying out in pain as Markham pulled her to her feet , urging her on. She didn't blame him for the rough gesture. They had to hurry and being burdened down with their injured comrades, the two soldiers were heavily vulnerable to any attacks by the wraith that could be lurking anywhere within the maze of trees.

When Teyla smelled a whiff of something acrid in the air, which soon intensified, she knew that they must be getting closer to the Jumper. The smell of burned wood grew more intense with each painful step. She could still sense the Wraith in the distance, but the feeling had remained constant ever since she had been in the woods. The smoke in the air made her cough and she couldn't help wondering how much farther it was until they reached the Jumper. She could still hear the heavy footsteps of the sergeant in front of them. With each step her strength is wearing thinner. For now, she was still winning against the pain, the fatigue and the raw emotions that threatened to reach the normally calm surface. Fear, the one thing she has devoted herself to conquer was lurking in the darkness and just waiting for her to be weak.

When she heard voices in the distance, she knew that it was only a matter of seconds now. Drained as she felt, it gave her another burst of energy. Teyla hung on the Markham's shoulder as they made it through the last few meters of underbrush separating them from the landing site of the Jumper. Suddenly, the voices were close and were all talking at once. She could make out Bates' and Carson's voice in the thick of simultaneous talking.

"Sit down." Markham had an arm around her and guided her to sit on a solid surface. Teyla felt a wall to her side, possibly that of the Jumper and leaned into it, the adrenaline rush finally wearing off. She was about to drift off when a hand touched her shoulder. She sat up straight, slightly confused, not sure what was going on. She felt something smooth on her hand.

"Take it. It's orange juice. And there are some pills for the pain. Beckett will be over as soon as he can." Markham gave her an opened bottle and put the pills in her other hand. Teyla took them gladly, welcoming the relief from the pain.

Beckett had just finished up bandaging Aiden's cuts when he heard Bates and Markham approach. The advantage of being in such a thick forest was that it was nearly impossible to come up to their position without rustling the bushes and making considerable noise.

Beckett had not been prepared for the sight of Major Sheppard. He had expected injuries, but when he saw the man's bloody chest, clearly showing a smeared handprint, he was still shocked. This was something he could not treat. If he had not felt the weak pulse himself, he would not have believed that John was still alive, but indeed, his heart was still beating and he was breathing, albeit in slow and shallow breath.

He could not tell whether John had aged through the Wraith feeding, but he looked terrible. His face was sunken and drawn, his skin grey with purplish shadows under his eyes. He looked like an old man. His hair was sticking up, but not thanks to hair gel this time. No, mud, sand and dirt were in his hair. Carson almost missed the head wound hidden beneath tangled mess. It looked a few days old and wasn't bleeding anymore. His first guess was a gunshot wound; this would be serious trouble, but nothing he could do about here, and would have to wait until he got back to Atlantis. There was no standard treatment for Wraith feeding either. He shot a quick look outside to see how the Jumper repairs were progressing, but there was no sign that they were going to be finishing soon. Carson shoved back his frustration at not being able to do much for his critically ill patient and settled for hooking John up to oxygen and IV fluids and treating the wound to his chest. Just as he was cleaning the hand shaped burn, he noticed that the chest of his patient was too still beneath his hands.

"Shit!" He hadn't even noticed that the major had stopped breathing. He had been so busy with treating him. His hands flew to John's neck. No pulse either. Not this one, not this one, the mental mantra filled his head as he reached for the defibrillator and started lubricating the paddles. He put them to his patient's chest and shocked him once, then felt for a pulse, but nothing. Ready to shock John again, he suddenly halted when a bright light blinded him. Instinctively, he held up one hand to shield his eyes, but the light grew bright white and so intense that he had to close his eyes entirely.

"It's okay. You can look."

Beckett didn't believe his ears, as he heard John's voice. He opened his eyes and gasped at the sight in front of him. A somewhat translucent glowing John was kneeling in front of him, between himself and the other, John, which he was desperately trying to bring back to life.

"Is he…are you dead?" Carson finally managed to gasp.

John tilted his head. "No, neither of us is alive or dead at the moment, we are both in between. But he'll be all right. But listen, you have to go and find Rodney, he is still alive, but he isn't going to last much longer."

"Rodney?" Somewhere in the back of his mind, Carson knew that he wasn't making a lot of sense, but this was just not possible, even considering all the strange things he had seen since coming to the Pegasus galaxy.

"Yes. Listen, I have to go. Say hi to Rodney from me." John turned to his prone self on the floor of the Jumper, laying a hand over the burned imprint his the chest. A bright glow spread from his hand to the body, and then the glowing figure was gone. Carson blinked, not sure whether that he really happened. He looked the defibrillator he still carried in hand and then looked over to John. His chest was moving again.

* * *

_John was alone again in Elizabeth's quarters. Carson had left him tied up, despite his pleas to loosen the bindings to allow him to escape. Elizabeth had the doctor under control and, as John began to suspect, all of Atlantis was under her absolute rule. He was helpless until she came back to her quarters. To his surprise it was not Elizabeth who came back to the room first though. When the door opened, it was Sergeant Bates who entered and one look at his face told him that he was in trouble._

_Bates wore a grin that reminded him of the grin he had seen on Beckett's face when he had handed him the file with the evidence of Rodney's mental problems. John forced himself not to struggle as Bates approached him. The grin on the other man's face only intensified as he stood directly in front of him. He pulled a knife from the small of his back, holding it close to John's face. John schooled his expression not to show fear. Internally he braced himself for what was to come, he expected Bates to cut him any moment. But instead of the blade cutting his skin, Bates swiftly moved the knife upwards and cut through the bonds that tied John's arms to the bed. The moment his wrists were freed John launched a punch towards Bates. He wasn't fooled, not for a moment did he believed that Bates would free him for any reason but his own benefit. Despite his unfavourable position John manage to land the punch in Bates' face. Bates staggered back, dropping the knife on the ground. John reached down grabbing the knife. The IV in his hand came out, leaving blood dropping down his hand._

_Now, Bates was back on his feet, lunging at John, pressing him against the bed. In spite of having the advantage of the knife, John was unable to use it, his hand being immobilized by pressure against the mattress. But he wasn't about the give up the weapon either. Bates might have pinned him down for the moment, but he wasn't at the end of his rope, yet. He knew that the other man had an advantage; he was stronger, as he himself was still recovering from both the gunshot wound to his side and the encounter with Elizabeth's poisoned wine. As Bates was trying to wriggle the knife from his grasp, John arched his back and brought up his head, smacking straight into Bates head. The sergeant, not prepared for the sudden smacking together of their foreheads, cried out and tumbled back, giving John the chance to sit up and free his feet which were still tied to the bed post._

_John didn't want to stab Bates, but when the other man lunged at him again, aiming for his injured side, his only defence was to lash out with the knife. He slashed Bates across the arm and chest, but the flowing blood didn't stop him. Bates was now more determined than ever to kill John with his bare hands. The next blow came fast and the forceful contact with his ribcage, making John gasp in pain. His attacker used the opportunity to grab his arm and bend his elbow backwards to motivate him to let go of the knife._

_Out of air and .pressed into the mattress, John had to let go of the knife as the lack of oxygen made his lungs burn and the pain in his arm started to drive tears to eyes. Once he let go of the knife, Bates released his hold on him. John gulped for air, instinctively cradling his abused arm. When he saw Bates angling the knife downwards, he tried to dive out of the way, but exhaustion slowed him down and he was caught at the base of the neck. At first, it didn't hurt at all. Then it was as if he had been stung with a hot iron and pain radiated all through his neck and chest. Warm fluid spilled onto his skin and he didn't need to see to know that he was bleeding. _

_But Bates had obviously missed his target, he had gone for John's jugular and had only caught him at a relatively harmless spot that would bleed a bit and hurt, but the wound would be not be fatal. Still looking at his handiwork, either in disappointment or fascination, John didn't care either way as he punched the man in the jaw. Bates tumbled backwards but remained on his feet and his grip on the knife didn't loosen. John however had enough time to get to his feet, which were not as steady as he would have liked. He prepared another blow, this time aimed at Bates kidney region, when the next assault with the knife came. He could barely raise his arms to block the worst of it before the blade struck again. This time only his arm got cut, but he lost his footing already having been unsteady on his feet. _

_In pain and exhausted, he started to doubt that he even could overpower Bates, when he was saved by the opening door. Bates had his back to the door and didn't see Elizabeth entering. She stood in the doorway, staring at the display of the two men fighting to the death in her room. Then, without saying a word, she pulled a berretta out of a shoulder holster that John had never seen Elizabeth wear before and raised the weapon. She fired a single shot into Bates' back and he collapsed to the floor, leaving John to struggle beneath the limp body. He wasn't even too surprised. He had been in this nightmare for a while now and he had seen that the life had very little value. Intent on staying alive, he chose not to comment on what had just happened. Instead he struggled to his feet; still wary of what was going to happen next. He didn't trust Elizabeth one bit and would no hesitate to use the next opportunity to get away from her. _

_Gun still in her hand, Elizabeth walked over to him. "I never thought I could trust him. But I'm glad that you are alright. I'm sorry that I didn't get here earlier." _

_She slung her arms around him. He did likewise, glad that he was still in her good graces. She pulled him closer until their faces were almost touching and he could feel her breath on his skin. Her soft lips met his and for a fraction of a second he hesitated before twisting away and using the moment to grab her gun from the holster. He still held her with his other arm, preventing her from escaping._

"_You're coming with me, Elizabeth."_

"_This will never work. Everyone will only listen to me. You're a dead man, John. Accept it. If you give up now, I might even forgive you. You're such a good kisser, especially when you are angry." The look she gave him bordered on a leer._

"_You're right. Everyone depends on your leadership. That's why nobody will risk that I kill you. They'll have to let me go."_

"_There is nowhere for you to go. Your gene is gone. Carson is an incompetent fool, he can't give it back to you. It's a miracle he ever figured out the gene therapy given how dense he is. If it weren't for the Yularans and their medical technology, we'd all be dead by now. He's useless. I should have killed him long ago, actually." Elizabeth laughed._

_Imagines of Rodney welled up in John's brain. Elizabeth had ordered Rodney killed. She was responsible for his death. But he couldn't get mad now, couldn't have his revenge now, he needed her. She was his ticket out of this nightmare._

"_Let's go." He ordered and pushed her towards the door.

* * *

_

Carson checked over John again for probably the tenth time in as many minutes. He had had close calls with patients before, but the vision had scared him and the major was still far from stable. The sooner he got back to Atlantis the better, and even then Carson was not sure there was much that he could do for the major, except wait and hope that he would recover.

"Doc?" A voice behind him caught his attention. He turned around and saw Bates standing near the open hatch of the Jumper.

"The repairs are going to take us a while. Another two or three hours, at least. We took quite a hit when we went down, but we are getting back them up again. What about Dr. MacKay? I sent out men, but they haven't found him yet. Has the lieutenant said anything?"

"No, he just mentioned the major and Teyla."

"Teyla only said that they had to leave him when I asked her. What about your patients, doc? I'm prepared to search until dawn."

"I don't think Rodney is here." Carson answered, not ready to tell Bates about his vision. It was uncomfortable to mention. On the other hand, if it was true, it could save a friends life. "I think what Teyla meant was that they had to leave him on the planet that they were originally stranded on. We should leave here as soon as the engines are repaired. Both the major and the lieutenant belong in the infirmary"

"All right. I'll call my men back. Let's hope that the Wraith don't find us here."

Carson turned to his last patient, Teyla. She had fallen asleep, sitting in one of the Jumper's seats while waiting for him to deal with the more severely injured team members. When he approached her and gently touched her shoulder, she startled awake, her eyes darted around aimlessly.

"It's Dr. Beckett, you're safe Teyla. We're going to get you back to Atlantis soon"

Teyla visibly relaxed. The normally ever-calm Athosian was noticeably tense.

"John and Aiden? "

„Aiden will be all right and John is stable for now. I think he will be all right once we get back to Atlantis. "Carson said carefully, not wanting to lie, but not wanting to sound bleak either. Teyla nodded, the sad expression on her face told him that she knew most of the truth anyways.

Teyla knew that the doctor tried to hide it, but she sensed that when he had a look at her eyes, he too didn't know what had caused her blindness. He reassured her that she was not suffering from any kind of infection and told her that they would surely find out once they were back in the City. She thought that she didn't really need emergency medical attention, the short nap, drink and food had already started to replenish her. She could well wait till she returned. But it was of course more comfortable to receive medication that dulled the persistent pain in her ankle. The Atlantian doctor told her that the bone was probably at least fractured and chided her for having walked on the leg. But they both knew that she had had no other choice.

Beckett was almost done with the rather painful procedure of setting and splinting her ankle when the familiar cold feeling awoke again inside her and she could feel them approach. She pushed the doctor aside, trying to get outside.

"The Wraith! They are coming here!"

"What! No! Shit! We are sitting ducks."

There was already a rustling in the vegetation and the first bright blue stunner blast flew through the air. Rapid automatic weapons fire follow. Teyla was pulled back inside the Jumper by Beckett.

"Sit still. You are in no condition to be outside"

"I had to warn them. I can sense them earlier than you can see them." Teyla replied calmly, letting Beckett get back to work. Outside the sounds of the fire fight were frightening as the Wraith closed in on the Jumper.

* * *

_John was down one corridor already and so far no one had spotted him and Elizabeth. At first, he had planned to head straight to the gate room, but when he saw the trail of blood on the floor, he realized that he needed to pay a visit to the infirmary first. Not only would he need something for his pain, but the bleeding needed to be stopped before it got out of control._

_Elizabeth had not said a word, nor showed any resistance since they had left her quarters, but John doubted that she had just resigned and given in; she was planning something, he was sure of it. John held his breath as he passed a scientist in the corridor, but other than receiving a frightened stare, nothing happened. They passed several more people on their way, but overall, there was very little foot traffic._

_The infirmary was empty when they walked in. No patients, no staff and no doctor Beckett to be seen. John looked around, starting to consider bandaging his wound himself and raiding the medicine cabinet for some pain killers. Elizabeth noticed his hesitation._

"_Looking for the most useless man in the City? He is probably in his office getting high"_

_John raised an eyebrow, but proceeded to drag Elizabeth towards Carson's office. The door was ajar and when he pushed it open, he indeed found the doctor injecting himself with a clear liquid. Carson only looked up briefly when he noticed that he wasn't alone._

"_What the hell are you doing! "John shouted. _

_Carson didn't react._

_In a flash, John knocked the syringe out of his hand. Carson only sat there, looking at him sadly. _

_Elizabeth laughed. "Do you see now"_

"_Yes, I see what you have done!" John replied and pulled Beckett up with his other arm._

"_I need you to fix me up. And I need painkillers, now! "_

_Carson moved slowly, but did as John had demanded. He stitched up John's wounds, although his aim with the needle seemed slightly off. John didn't complain. He just needed to get out of this nightmare. _

"_Now the painkillers!" he demanded once Carson had finished dressing his wounds._

_Carson shrugged. "I can't. Only she has access to medications"_

"_Don't count on me. " Elizabeth smirked._

"_I have the gun," John reminded her._

"_Oh yes, you do. But if you shot me now, how are you going to get through the gate. You need me later; you are not going to kill me now. "_

_John gritted his teeth and didn't answer. She had a point. He would have to manage without relieves. It would be tough, but he would survive. No longer bleeding, but still hurting, he made his way towards the Gate room. Everyone they passed gave them a wide berth._

_In the gate room, a welcoming party was already waiting, with a good dozen marines, armed with P90's standing ready in front of the Gate. John pulled Elizabeth in front of himself as a shield, He had always thought only cowards would resort to using a living person for protection, but now there was he, using a civilian woman of all people. He moved up to the dialling panel and nobody made a move to stop him. He awkwardly reached around Elizabeth to type in the sequence when he heard an ominous popping sound from behind him. A sharp pain in his neck followed instantaneously. He had just enough time to reach up with one hand and pull out the dart before he collapsed to the floor._

_TBC_


	12. Sustained

Disclaimer see Chapter 1

The fire of automatic weapons tore into the silence of the forest. The only other sound audible was the strange, electric hum of the jumper's hull when the metal was hit by the Wraiths' stunners. Feral screams, Teyla could not tell whether they were human or alien puncture the violent exchange of fire. The Jumper rocked as something thumped against its hull. Frantic screams outside were drowned out by the explosions of gunfire. Teyla hated feeling helpless, sitting inside the jumper, left the feel the cold presence of the enemy looming outside, pressing to invade their last sanctuary to feed on her and her helpless friends. The machine gun fire lessened outside and suddenly the hatch was yanked open with force.

A wave of cold rushed at Teyla. It felt like a cold hand was reaching around her throat, suffocating her. She had not felt the presence of the Wraith like this for many years. They were close, directly upon her. The sensation was overwhelming, pain lanced through her head, as she shivered and struggled to breathe through the tightness around her throat.

A heavy weight pressed down on her chest, lighting a fire of pain. Cold was replaced by burning heat. The pain surged through her, paralysing her. Her mind screamed in protest, her instincts telling her to defend herself. Teyla struggled out from under the weight holding her down, her arms weakly pushing against a heavy weight above her. Like in frenzy, she kicked and pounded at the presence above her. Her limbs grew numb and the pain drove tears to her eyes as she struggled in vain. Teyla knew that it was hopeless and that she would succumb to the Wraith, it was only a matter of minutes now until she lost control over her body. But she would fight until the bitter end; she would never give up as long as she lived.

Carson's head was swimming, his vision was dancing. Pain was radiating from the left side of his face all the way around his head down his neck. He wondered whether he had cracked his cheekbone when the Wraith had thrown him against the bulk head of the Jumper. Wraith? Carson's head shot up as he recalled what he happened. The Wraith, they had attacked the Jumper. One of them had gotten inside. Where was he? Teyla! Where was she? Carson stumbled forwards to the cockpit. Nothing, no one was there, he was alone in the front of the ship. The hatch was ajar. Carson listened. It was quiet outside; the fight must have died down. Carson took a handgun from one of the compartments and then slid the hatch open with trembling hands.

It was dark outside and it took a moment for his eyes to adjust. Then he saw the field of destruction before him. Wraith and humans alike lay strewn on the ground. None of the bodies moved, giving no indications who, if any of them lived.

A sound to his left startled him. His eyes darted in the direction, but he saw nothing in the darkness. He strained to hear and indeed, he could hear what sounded like muffled shouts and something moving in the undergrowth. Wiping his seating hands, he gripped the gun tighter and walked around the Jumper. Now he saw what he had heard. A few meters of, a Wraith was hunched over a figure on the ground, which was fighting back, fiercely. He couldn't tell who it was; the moon had disappeared behind a cloud, leaving him in darkness.

Carson thought quickly. He could either try to get closer to get a better shot at the Wraith, but risk to be discovered, or shoot from where he was and risk missing and then be discovered. He decided to sneak closer as it was too dark to take proper aim and he wasn't a very good shot to start with.

Carson managed to get within ten feet before the Wraith whirled around and started at him. Carson had never been this close to a live Wraith before. The ghost-like face with its black eyes was almost mesmerizing.

"How dare you interrupt me, human?" The Wraith growled menacingly.

A face of fear washed through Carson. He fumbled for the trigger and fired the gun. The Wraith jerked, but remained standing. His hollow laughter chilled Carson to the bone.

"Your feeble weapons will not defeat me. I shall feed on you next." The Wraith gave him a shove and like he was weightless, Carson crashed to the ground several meters backwards.

Slowly, he crawled back to his feet, amazed that nothing was broken. He advanced on the Wraith again, vowing to make better use of the gun again this time. He knew that a Wraith could be killed.

As soon as he had a clear view on the Wraith again, he opened fire. At first, the Wraith didn't even seem to take notice of the bullets striking his torso. Carson tried to aim for his head, but he didn't hit high enough. When Carson was already about to despair that his attack was fruitless, the Wraith came towards, staggering visibly, Carson wanted to keep firing, but his gun only clicked. He was doomed. Out of ammunition with a Wraith advancing on him.

The Wraith was about to lunge at him, so Carson flung himself to the ground and lashed at the legs of the enemy, trying to shake him off his balance. The already staggering Wraith fell over on top of Carson. He was heavier than Carson had imagined and before he could free himself the Wraith was back on his feet, pulling Carson back up with him, only to fling him to the ground a couple of meters further away into a few bushes.

The impact was hard, in spite of the bushes taking some of the force of it. For a moment Carson couldn't breathe and everything went black. A moment later, at least he thought that he had only been out a second, he was panting and staring at the star filled sky. His entire body was hurting. He was going to be badly bruised at the very least.

There was gunfire not too far away. Gunfire was good. One of their own people was alive. Despite the pain, Carson smile and tried to get up. Fierce pain shot through his rib cage and he winced sharply, but got to his feet nonetheless. Slightly limping he hobbled back towards the Jumper.

"Dr. Beckett? Is that you?" A flashlight blinded him. He couldn't see who was asking, but he recognized the voice as belonging to Sergeant Bates. He sounded rough and exhausted.

"Yes, it's me. Don't shoot."

"What the hell are you doing out here?" Bates shouted angrily.

"There was a Wraith, I saw him attack someone, and I only tried to help." Carson felt like he needed to apologize. It was ridiculous; all he had wanted to do was save people. That was what he was here to do.

"The Wraith is dead. You should take a look at Teyla over here." Bates sounded a little less angry now.

"Is she hurt?" Carson was concerned, switching into professional mode now.

"The Wraith attacked her." Bates' voice was clipped.

Carson kneeled down next to Teyla who was already sitting up again. In the dark, it was hard to see anything. Bates and his flashlight had disappeared towards the Jumper.

"Teyla? It's me, Dr. Beckett." Carson said softly, recalling that Teyla was still blinded. "Can you get up?"

"Yes. I can get up." her voice quavered slightly.

Carson supported Teyla on their way back to the Jumper. They paused when they reached the front of the jumper. Sergeants Stackhouse and Bates were there, looking the jumper over. Nobody seemed to pay any attention to the two dead Wraith on the ground. Markman was still sitting on the ground, looking somewhat dazed.

"Teyla, go in and sit down. Can you manage that?"

"That is not a problem." Teyla swayed slightly, but managed to get into the Jumper on her own.

Carson quickly turned to Markham to assure himself that the young man was going to be all right before following Teyla.

In the light of the inside of the Jumper, he could finally have a good look at her. Like when he had examined the major earlier, she too sported a blooded handprint on her chest. The wound itself seemed to be a burn. Whether the Wraith caused this by using a chemical or by actual heat transfer would remain unknown until they returned to Atlantis. For the moment, the wound presented a risk of infection, but was not too serious. Silently, Carson cleaned and bandaged the wound.

"There. There isn't much more I can do until we get back to Atlantis. You better lie down in the back. I'll help you there." Carson took Teyla's hand.

But she freed her hand of his grasp.

"Doctor, please tell me. I know you will do all you can, but even the Atlantians cannot undo the changes brought on by the Wraith."

"Oh, Teyla. You are not an old woman. The Wraith didn't have enough time. You fought him well. He didn't take much away from you. You still have much time ahead of you."

"It seemed so long..." Teyla whispered, exhaustion shining through in her voice.

"Your chest must be hurting badly. Let me give you something for the pain and then you can sleep a bit." Carson suggested.

"Agreed." Teyla gave in.

* * *

A persistent hum woke John. By now he was used to wake up in discomfort. Lately it seemed there was no other way of waking up anymore.

Coming to full awareness, he realized that he had been sleeping on the bare floor, a further sign that things continued to deteriorate. The last time he had woken up, he had been tied up, but at least he had been tied up on a bed. Now he was hurting, hot, thirsty and sleeping on a steel floor. John shifted into a sitting position. The motion tugged at the stitches he had received after Bates had tried to stab him the previous day. John swore under his breath when looked up and discovered the source of the persistent humming. He was sitting behind a blue tinged force field. On the wrong side. He rubbed his face. What a way to start the day. Slowly, the events of the previous day came back in all their splendour. He had taken Elizabeth hostage as she had tried to kiss him, then he had tried to gate off Atlantis, which obviously had not quite panned out. And he had discovered that Carson was a junkie. Everything was wrong with this universe, but it was better than living his life in the tiny cell.

John leaned against the wall and closed his eyes, hoping to ease his headache. He must have drifted off, because when he opened his eyes again, he wasn't alone in the cell again. Carson was leaning against the opposite wall, watching him with a grin. John eyes him carefully. He couldn't judge this Carson. He wasn't as malevolent as most of the other players he had encountered so far in this twisted world, but he was clearly not the kind and capable doctor he had known before.

"There I thought you would never wake up. It would have been such a waste." Carson commented as he saw him notice his presence.

"What do you want?" John asked.

"I wanted to see how you are. After all you must be fit for tomorrow. It's going to be your big day."

John didn't like the evil glint in Carson's eyes one little bit. He was pretty sure that Carson was high again.

"If you trust me I can help you." Carson walked over to John, putting his hands on John's shoulders.

"Do you trust me?" Carson leaned in close.

John's head was spinning. Was it just him or was everyone wanting to jump him. First Elizabeth was playing with him, although the wine had been poisoned, and now Beckett was coming on to him as well.

"Why should I?" John replied coolly, deciding to ignore any offers for now.

"You better trust me; your life depends on it. Our lovely Elizabeth is a very vengeful woman. She is not going to forgive you." Carson smiled gently.

John thought for a moment. Carson had a point there. He had been wondering about the fall-out, but he doubted that there was anything that Carson could do for him, except kill him before Elizabeth had the chance.

"Did you know that your execution is set for dawn tomorrow. Elizabeth wanted, as she put it, a classic setting." Carson said calmly. "I myself would have gone for a midnight execution. But who is to argue with a woman." He shrugged.

"What!" John yelled, before reminding himself to calm down. Yelling wasn't going to do him any good.

"Do you trust me?" Carson repeated.

"What can you do?"

"Just tell me, do you trust me?"

"Yes, I trust you." John lied. He had no other choice. It was not that he had anything left to lose. If he was indeed to be executed at dawn tomorrow, what could Carson do now to harm him? His mind came up with unbidden answers, but he quickly suppressed them.

"Then tell me your code the override the lock of the dialling computer."

"I can't...I..."

"Don't lie to me." Carson said sharply and grabbed one of John's wrists. "I know you have a code. Now give it to me if you want me to help you."

* * *

There was something cool touching his face. Rodney could not recall the last time he had felt something this good. The cold was soothing his pounding headache and took away some of the unbearable heat that was burning within him, threatening to consume him whole.

Suddenly, the cool soft sensation stopped. Irritated, Rodney opened his eyes, searching for the source of his relief. He found John sitting next to him, a dripping rag in his hand.

"Rodney! You're awake. How are you feeling?" John asked and smiled a radiant smile at him.

Rodney blinked, not sure what he was seeing was real, and his brain felt like it was wrapped in several layers of cotton wool. Hadn't John been glowing the last time he had seen him? He had just been an illusion of his feverish mind, but now he looked perfectly normal as he sat beside him. There was no sign of the injuries that Rodney had inflicted on him in the struggle in the prison cell.

The look in John's face change from a smile to concern when Rodney didn't answer.

"You're running a high fever. I have been trying to bring it down." The cool wet rag returned to Rodney's forehead.

"Can you drink something? I have some water here." John raised a small bowl of water to Rodney's mouth. Rodney eagerly took a few sips. Swallowing hurt, but the cool liquid soothed his throat at the same time.

"You...you don't 'glow' anymore." Rodney managed eventually, the few words triggering a coughing fit that was so immensely painful that for a moment all he saw was blankness.

"Rodney, stay with me." Rodney felt a firm grip on his arm, and John's voice pulled him back to the present. As soon as the pain had abated enough he looked up to the other man, waiting for an answer to his question.

"You needed me to be here for you." John finally explained.

"Not...cryptic shit." Rodney coughed, not the least in the mood for mind games.

"Stop talking and rest. It will be a little while longer until the Jumper gets here. There have been some problems. You needed someone to do more than just talk to you, so here I am helping you out. Drink some more. You are pretty dehydrated." John went on without a pause.

Rodney drank again.

"You are him, aren't you?" He asked after they had sat in silence for several minutes.

John nodded.

"Yes, I'm John Sheppard." John settled for a half-truth.

Rodney accepted to answer without further questions. He was too tired and in too much pain to probe any further. He had something to say and John was the person who needed to hear it.

"John, listen." He pushed himself up on his elbows.

"Rodney. Stay down. There will be plenty of time later on." John calmed him.

"No, listen to me, this is important. I want to tell you something. I'm sorry for what I did. I didn't mean to kill you back in the cell. It was an accident. You were fighting against me, that...that wasn't supposed to happen. You are very strong. I was afraid that you'd kill me. Then it happened...I'm so sorry, John. I only meant to fight back...I can't remember...head hurts too much." Rodney erupted into another coughing fit.

John held him close, rubbing his back until the paroxysm of coughing subsided.

"Oh Rodney. You have nothing to be sorry for. You didn't kill me. You couldn't."

"But...but I saw your body. All the blood. I killed you." Rodney whispered his voice raw.

"It's not true. You have a high fever; your mind was tricking you." John soothed. "I won't leave you."

_TBC_


	13. Exited

_**Space Pirates**_

_**Chapter 13**_

* * *

Carson watched Teyla take a drink from the bottle of water and swallow the offered painkillers. She tried not to show it, but she was exhausted and in pain. Still, even with hair in disarray and dirt streaked, clothes torn and bloodied, she blinded and attacked by a Wraith, Teyla rayed part of the unique grace that made her who she was. Carson couldn't think of anyone more fearless he had ever known.

"Relax Teyla. The pain will lessen soon. I brought you a blanket and you can put on this jacket." He handed her his own jacket to wear. Teyla's own blue top had been badly burned by the Wraith attack.

"Thank you doctor. How are Major Sheppard and Lieutenant Ford holding out?"

Carson considered a white lie, but the way Teyla was looking at him, made him reconsider.

"Aiden will be fine eventually, but he needs to get treated, his wounds are infected. And so are yours." he added.

"Major Sheppard isn't doing very well. I'm not sure what I can do for him."

"I'm sure you will do your best." Teyla nodded with conviction before leaning back in her seat, closing her eyes.

Assured that Teyla was at least getting a few minutes of rest, Carson went back outside. The destruction from the recent Wraith attack was partially hidden by the darkness, but not even the night could hide all the signs of violence. But Carson was pleased to note that everyone was at least sitting up. Markham was still sitting on the ground. Carson knelt down next to him first.

"Are you all right?"

"Caught the edge of a stunner blast, doc. It's going to wear off right?"

"It is. If you are already sitting you weren't hit that badly indeed. Pins and needles?"

"Everywhere." Markham managed a grin. "But I'm going to be all right. Take care of the others."

Carson had just gotten back when Sergeant Bates appeared by his side. The sergeant wore a miserable expression, even in the dim glow of the flashlight, Carson could see that much.

"Doc, how are your patients?"

"Waiting to get back to the infirmary." Carson said briefly, as that basically summed it up. They all were supposed to be in the infirmary yesterday, but they were on the planet for now and that was it.

"What is it?" He asked when Bates didn't answer.

"I think we are going to be here a little longer. Sorry doc. The Wraith shot our Jumper to hell. The stunners of theirs didn't make a dent in the hull but fried everything under it, all the Ancient tech has gone belly up. We are going nowhere."

Carson was speechless for a minute. This had not been planned.

"We can't even repair it. We don't have that kind of spare parts with us. It's questionable whether we even could repair the Jumper on Atlantis. We have to wait here until Atlantis sent someone else for us." Stackhouse added.

None of the men voiced what they all where thinking. The probability that Atlantis was risking even more people on this was low. Elizabeth had to cut her losses at some point.

"I have to look after my patients." Carson finally said and disappeared towards the rear of the Jumper.

First he checked on John. The Wraith burn was continuing to bleed. Technically that couldn't be. The wound was need and being a burn injury it should have stopped bleeding by now. But instead it was bleeding quite heavily. Eying the shrinking bandage supply, Carson redressed the wound, hoping that the Wraith had not introduced some alien chemicals into John's body when he had attacked him. In that case, Teyla could also be in trouble. Carson made a mental note to check on her as well. John's breathing gave him cause for concern as well. It was very flat and Carson feared that John wasn't getting enough oxygen into his system. They had brought a portable ventilation unit, but its power would only last so long. Carson wanted to use it as a last resort, not any sooner. For now, he hoped John would still do well enough on his own. He moved over to Aiden, who was still leaning against the bulkhead in a semi-sitting position to take the strain of his injured ribs and breathe easier. When Carson touched him to push up his shirt to have a look at his wounds, Aiden's eyes flew upon.

"I heard." he whispered.

"What did you hear?"

"About the Jumper, that's broken and that we're stuck down here."

"I'm sorry, we didn't want to wake you up." That was the only thing that came to Carson's mind. He had wanted to let the injured man rest.

"I have an idea. Why don't we use the Dart to get back to Atlantis?" Aiden suggested.

* * *

John's touch soothed Rodney. Too often had he relieved the memory of killing his best friend. Knowing now that it all had been a trick of his ailing mind was an immense relief. John might not be real, in the sense of being physically there with Rodney in the abandoned house with Rodney, but he felt real to Rodney as he was leaning against him.

When John put a hand on Rodney's chest, Rodney weakly arched an eyebrow and wanted to make a snide comment that he wasn't the touchy feely type despite the situation, when he noticed that there was more to John's touch. Where his hand was the pain in his chest lessened and he noticed that he could breathe just a little bit easier. John reached around with his other hand, holding Rodney now with both hands. A warm feeling, slightly vibrating feeling flowed through Rodney. Rodney wriggled from his touch and crawled a few feet away.

"What do you think you are doing!" He spat, or tried to. His voice was barely above a whisper.

"What is it Rodney? You need to rest. I'm sorry if I've offended you. I thought you were okay with me holding you."

"You were doing more than holding me, and you know it." Rodney wheezed. "What will they do if they catch up fixing me. You are not supposed to be doing that. Tell me the truth already. I want to know it all this time." Rodney was furious. The effort of saying this much had him gasping for breath and his head was spinning again.

"Only if you lie down and drink something and you let me light you a fire, you need it warmer in here. Then I'll tell you. I promise, I'll tell you the truth." John pleaded.

Rodney was more exhausted by the argument than he wanted to admit.

"All right, we have a deal."

* * *

Nobody had cared to tell him manner and mode of his upcoming execution as John was woken rudely by a kick into the ribs early the next morning. He bit back a howl of pain and got to his feet.

"Face the wall!" As soon as the larger of the two marines looming over him had given the command, the smaller one had virtually smashed him into the wall. His wrists were pulled together and wrapped with rope.

John thought about making a comment or two about the lack of a last meal or a shower, but decided to spare himself further kicks to sensitive body parts. He had done as Carson had asked the previous night and he only hoped the bastard was not busy shooting God knows what up his arm, but getting him out of this.

Unfortunately, as it was looking right now, he was on the best way of joining Rodney on the other side, except that you could not die in your dreams. The marine couple marched him down the corridor, all the way from the brig to the Gateroom. John kept wondering where they were going. Maybe Elizabeth didn't want blood spatter in Atlantis and had decided to off him off-world, he though cynically, as they entered the Gateroom which was flooded with beautiful golden morning light.

A veritable crowd had assembled in the Gateroom. John recognized more faces than he liked to. Ford was there, Bates, Cavanaugh, Beckett; the little traitor was standing in the front row right next to Elizabeth. Damn him to hell. Zelenka was standing there was well, grinning broadly. Damn again, he wouldn't have expected that from the Czech.

The marines marched him to the middle of the room, where he was standing just in front of the crowd. Elizabeth stepped forward, along with Beckett and Zelenka, who went behind John towards the Gate.

John who had been fairly calm up until now was starting to get nervous. He was not afraid of dying, not that he could die really here anyways. He was afraid of losing his dream; even it was a deranged nightmare. These people were all he had left. They were wicked and evil; at least most of them, but there were something more than the four stone walls, the cold, the pain and the dark that his captors had to offer. If he died, would this dream end? Would he dream again?

Elizabeth stepped up to him. She leaned close and whispered.

"I offered you a chance to be my partner, but you betrayed me instead. Nobody betrays me." She kissed him on the lips.

Elizabeth turned to the crowd.

"Let this be a warning to all traitors." She said simply and smiled.

"Dr. Zelenka, are you ready?" She turned towards the Gate. John turned around as well, and suddenly understood how he was meant to die.

A rope with a noose attached was slung over the highest point of the Gate. Standing under it was a large crate. Dr. Zelenka was standing next to the crate an accomplished smile on his face.

"As you see John, we made quite an effort for you. I wouldn't just have you shot. That would have been far too boring. Please, step up."

Seeing the marines up on the balcony with their P-90s ready, John didn't see much choice but to comply. A very small part of him still hoped for Carson to come through for him. He had no idea how the doctor might do this, but John was an optimist at heart.

John stepped up on the crate. He had tempted death on quite a few occasion in the past, always for a good cause, for God and country, for Atlantis, for his men. Not like this, not this blatant. He was not going to get out of this one so easily. It felt so real. It's only a dream, he reminded himself. A twisted nightmare. He swallowed hard. He could still feel his knees not being quite that solid.

Someone stepped up on the crate with him. John twisted his neck, it was Carson. He was sliding the noose around John's neck.

Then Carson tightened the noose slowly and while doing it whispered in John's ear.

"Play along. Don't fight back. Radek fixed it to choke you, not break your neck. This will help." Something stung into the side of John's neck. Heeding Carson's advice, he suppressed his reaction. The rope was pressing tight against his throat. It was not choking him, but it was already starting to trigger his gagging reflex. John swallowed, trying to get rid of the sensation.

Carson stepped back down, rejoining Elizabeth and Radek in the front of the crowd.

"Sergeant Bates, would you do the honours?"

"Of course Ma'am. It is a pleasure." Bates said and walked towards the Gate and John.

Everything was a bit blurred as John watched on. Whatever Carson had given him must be messing with him. At least the irresistible urge to gag had died down. But he felt extremely dizzy, as everything blurred and tilted in front of his eyes.

Even though he knew what was coming, the pain and shock still overwhelmed him as Bates kicked out the crate from under his feet. Suddenly his entire weight pulled at his neck. He had Carson's advice echoing through his mind, but the drive to survive was stronger and his hands flew up, frantically pulling at the rope that was grinding into the skin of his neck. He was getting any air. Carson's drug was making it all worse, his hands wouldn't work right. Desperately, his mind screamed at his fingers to continue prying at the rope, to work for a bit longer, but even though he still had oxygen left in his lungs, his arms dropped uselessly to his sides. He could see a shadow move towards him, but his vision was rapidly declining. He merely saw shades of light and dark and his eyes threatened to close any minute. Even though his lungs' demand for oxygen became more burning with every second, John found the screaming of his thoughts dying down and his panic ebbing away. He was tired. Even the heavy weight that pulled on his neck seemed to have lightened. Was this the peace before death? Maybe it wasn't so bad. He was tired of being hurt all the time.

Before he could drift off, there was something at his neck. Muffled noises followed, before he suddenly went weightless. For a split second, he thought he had died, but then he crashed hard. Pain cursed through his head and his neck felt like it had been shattered.

Arms grabbed him and he was being moved, his brain vaguely registered as he gasped for air. He wanted to say something, but the need for oxygen was stronger. The arm deposited him on the floor and the body belonging to them cowered over him.

A second later, an explosion of sound and light, the even reached John Sheppard's oxygen starved mind, reached the Gateroom, as the Gate opened and a wave of bright white energy consumed the Gateroom.

* * *

Rodney was lying as comfortably as he could in an abandoned house on a deserted planet with no resources. John had given him more to drink and had lighted a nicely burning fire in the corner of the room. When he was all done, he sat down next to Rodney.

"So tell me. You are really dead and just haven't broken the news to me, right?" Rodney started off the conversation, trying to get the worst out of the way, When John had appeared as a glowing Ancient, he had had the sinking feeling right away.

"No, no. I wasn't lying when I said that I was still alive. I'm not doing to well, but my body is still alive. In fact I'm stuck on a planet not unlike this one. But Beckett is there and he is not going to let me croak on his watch."

Rodney nodded.

"John, when you said your body is still alive, what about your brain?" Rodney asked sharply.

"I just knew you would ask that."

"John, the truth, you promised."

"The pirate gang kept me drugged up with a very special cocktail of theirs. Don't ask me what's in it. It's supposed to make the prisoners compliant to sell them into slavery. I didn't react very well to it, I'm told, add me shooting myself into the head, or well, trying to at least, my brain got fried pretty much." John tried to keep the conversation with his usual humour despite the topic.

"So you're telling me that you're lying around brain dead on some planet?" Rodney would have screamed if he could have.

"Nope, it's not that bad. I'm still in there. Stuck in hallucinations. There is some damage all right. Carson could explain this much better, but I'm still ticking."

"I don't understand." Rodney was confused. „Why are you all ascended? What happens to you now?"

"I'm still pretty new to being ascended myself, and I'm not fully ascended yet. I'll become an actual ascended when I die." John frowned. "Actually this is not that bad. At least I still get to visit you for a bit."

"Do they know you are here?"

"No, I hope not. I'm not supposed to interfere. I'm just supposed to bide my time until I'm dead for real which happens if either my body dies here. Carson will never let that happen. Or if I die in the reality my mind is trapped in."

"Huh?"

"Yeah, I didn't want to sound crazy. The hallucination. I can die there. I don't know that."

"That's crazy." Rodney coughed. In a split second, John had a hand on his chest, easing his pain.

"Quit that. All you have to do is to sit tight. Carson will figure out something. He won't let you die. You said it yourself. If you live, you'll just stay alive, right."

"I guess so." John wasn't sure. "But it's not going to happen. My Ascended mentor told me that I'm going to die and the Ascended can see through time. She would know." John said slightly uncomfortable. "I only agreed to tell you to say good-bye."

"You can't leave!" Rodney protested.

"You are right, I can't leave yet. I have something to do first." John reached over to Rodney. This time Rodney didn't resist the warm, healing touch.

"One more question. What will happen to you now?"

"If they catch me? I won't ascend; I'll be trapped in my body." John replied.

Rodney was about the say something but John stopped him.

"Don't. Nothing you say will change my mind. I'm dead already. You were coming for me to get me out of this hellhole of a prison. I owe you. Listen to me: the Jumper isn't coming. They were attacked by the Wraith. They are all alive, but the Jumper is beyond repair. There is a Stargate on this planet here. It's about thirty miles from here. The pirates didn't know of it, it's well hidden in the woods. It's at the source of the river. All you have to do is follow the river upwards. The terrain will get rougher, but you should be able to do it. Do you understand?"

"Sure." Rodney nodded, knowing there was no way he could dissuade John now.

_tbc_


	14. Allied

_**Space Pirates**_

_**Chapter 14**_

When Carson had tentatively informed Sergeant Bates of Lieutenant Ford's idea, the sergeant had not hesitated to give him a piece of his mind, letting him know what exactly he thought of the idea.

"Did you make sure Ford didn't hit his head? This is the most fucked up plan I've ever heard and believe me I have heard plenty of shit. We don't know where the Dart has landed. The planet is crawling with Wraith. We can't fly a Dart and we don't even know if it is still intact. For all we know they might have crashed as well. Here, we have a defendable position. As soon as the sun rises we'll secure water and food."

"What then?" Carson challenged, even though he knew that Bates was right in what he was saying.

"We survive until rescue arrives." Bates answered without emotion.

They both knew that there would be no rescue. They would be trapped on this planet until they died, one by one. Sheppard and Ford might die of their injuries, the Wraith might still get them, wild animals might be lurking in the depth of the forest, they might bit bitten by something deadly or eat the wrong fruit.

"Major Sheppard is running out of time, he won't survive if we stay here. Lieutenant Ford and Teyla might make it with the resources I have available here, but they are deteriorating as we speak. It's not looking good. We have to do something."

"Doctor, will going back to Atlantis help them? Both the major and Teyla were attacked by a Wraith. There is no way to reverse that damage."

Beckett realized what Bates was saying. To him, they were already lost, with or without help from Atlantis.

"Of course, I know that!" Beckett replied angrily. "I think the Wraith feed on their victims by transferring a sort of poison to their victims by touch. On Atlantis, I would have a chance to analyze that substance and try to find a counteragent or at least to try to treat to symptoms. Here I can do nothing." Beckett almost pleaded.

He couldn't let his friends die if there was even a small chance that they might make it back to Atlantis in time. It might by indeed to late to save the major, but if he was right about how the Wraith worked, Teyla would have more time before the Wraith toxin became a problem for her. Aiden's wounds were infected; he needed treatment as well before the infection reached his bloodstream which at this point was a definite possibility. However, the lieutenant had the biggest chances of surviving should they be stranded on the planet indefinitely.

"Sir, we volunteered to come on this mission to bring the major and his team home, we knew what we were risking when we signed up for this mission. We owe it to them to do everything we can to bring them home, one way or another. They don't deserve to be forgotten on this god forsaken planet. Permission to go and look for the Wraith Dart?" Sergeant Stackhouse who had been quietly listening to their heated exchange spoke up.

"I'm with him." Markham added.

Bates looked from one to the other. They stared right back, determination on their faces.

"All right, go and check it out. Watch your step, there could still be Wraith out there."

_John was floating peacefully, removed from all the physical pain and troubled emotions of the past days. They were still there, but they were nothing but a distant, unimportant memory. _

_He was in the Gateroom, but it looked different, everything was filled with a white haze, giving it a surreal look. John closed his eyes; he could exist like this forever, outside of time, without any worry or concern._

_Suddenly there were hands, they were touching him, dragging on his clothes, lifting him up and carrying like he was completely weightless. John tried to wriggled free of their grasp, but his body wouldn't react to the frantic commands of his mind. He tried to see what was going on, but all he could see was blurred grey shapes in the white haze. A soft rush filled the hair and the feeling of hands on his skin floated away as suddenly as it had come._

_Reality entered into the picture when he woke to the feeling of a cold, hard surface beneath his body. Slowed in body and mind, he cracked his eyes open a tiny bit. He saw white, but not the surreal white glow he had seen before, this time; it was a dirty white tiled floor directly in front of his face._

_"No, not again." John murmured. His voice sounded strangled to his years. He really had to stop waking up like that. Careful of his recent injuries, he rolled onto his back. Waiting for the pain to fade, he slowly opened his eyes again. Grey ceiling._

_A familiar face appeared in his field of vision. It was Carson. He was grinning, but it wasn't reaching his eyes._

_"How nice of you to be joining me. Welcome to our new home."_

_"Where are we?" John asked, wasting no time on pleasantries._

_"In a Yularian prison. Trust me; it's better than the alternative." Carson said lightly._

_"Which is what exactly?" John had worked himself up into a sitting position without Carson help by now._

_"Being dead." Carson let himself fall back on the only mattress in their rather bare prison cell._

_John rubbed his head. He felt a headache coming. The last thing he recalled was his 'execution'. Carson had saved his life. Then the Gate had opened and something had come through. Something made of bright energy. Maybe he had hit his head harder than he thought when Carson had cut him loose. Absently, he touched his throat. The bruises and abrasions were definitely there and he could feel the strain on his throat when talking. It hadn't been just a dream._

_"Thanks, I guess, for saving my life back on Atlantis." he said into the silence._

_"I didn't do it for you." Carson said to his surprise. "It had to end. The bitch is dead."_

_John knew immediately who Carson meant._

_"Everyone on Atlantis is dead?"_

_"Everyone least one of them is dead. Present company excluded of course." Carson's voice hinted of satisfaction, but somewhere beneath it, John thought he could hear a whisper of sadness and regret._

_John didn't want to know what to say. Atlantis was his home. It might have been a dream, a delusion, but it was all he had. Now Carson was telling him that everyone he had known was gone. It was too much. There was no space in his head to grasp that. No room. That couldn't happen. This was only a dream, only a dream._

_"Don't look so shocked John. Most of them were not worth the air they were breathing. Have you never wanted revenge? They killed Rodney, just because they could."_

_Of course John had wanted revenge. Part of him had wanted to kill Bates and Elizabeth with his bare hands. But even though he knew that they had wanted him dead, the news that they were dead shocked him. They had been part of the insane little world that had kept him sane._

_"Of course."_

_"I knew it." Carson triumphed. "The Yularians couldn't wait to get their revenge on Atlantis. When he contacted them and offered them the chance, they were more than glad to take me up on the offer."_

_"Wait a minute. The Yularians? You told me that we traded with them for technology, they gave us the technology to shut off the Ancient gene."_

_"Yes, they did. They gave us a lot of medical technology in exchange for the gene therapy. Elizabeth had us develop a biological weapon using their technology to attack them. The weapon was a success. They have been at war with us since. Their planet is too far to get to Atlantis by ship, and they couldn't get through the gate--."_

_"Until you betrayed Atlantis," John finished for him. "What was the deal? They let you leave because you gave them the access code for the Gate?"_

_"No, I gave them the cure for the virus that the weapon contained. They haven't been able to find it on their own. Those were the terms." Carson explained._

_There was a moment of silence before John spoke._

_"Why did you do it?"_

_"I told you before. It had to end somewhere. The Yularians got their revenge, I got mine, you got yours." Carson snapped._

_"It's that easy for you?" John challenged, not willing to believe that Carson had betrayed Atlantis just to get revenge on Elizabeth. He didn't know what Elizabeth had done to Carson, but the man he knew was not capable of doing such a thing._

_Only later it occurred to John that Carson had saved his life twice. It had been him who had protected him from the deadly weapon of the Yularians. Carson had let him live._

Rodney's return to wakefulness was slow. The cold creeping through his clothes had broken him out of the much needed sleep. The fire that John had lit had long died out. Still bleary from sleep, Rodney rubbed his eyes and sat up, not surprised to find himself alone in the ruin. The memory of John being there with him with distant and ethereal and he would have dismissed it as a feverish dream were it not of the renewed strength and painlessness of his body. For the first time in days, he could move without pain accompanying him every inch of the way. His head had finally cleared after the fever and the heavy weight had disappeared from his chest. John had been real. He might not have been his real corporeal self that the scientist in Rodney could explain, but he had been there in an Ancient way. They had not yet a full understanding of how the Ancient technology worked and how the Ancients could exist as non-corporeal entities and still interact with the material world, but he knew that it was possible.

Now he could only hope that John had made the right decision in taking the risk in healing him, crossing the line that forbid the Ascended to interfere in the affairs of mortals. John had told him what the risks were, but just as he knew John, he had been unable to talk him out of his decision. Once John's mind was set on something, nobody could talk him out of it. Damn his willingness to sacrifice himself for others. It was no different this time. Rodney could feel the anger welling up in him. Anger was good; it replaced the sadness and feeling of loss that he hadn't been able to shake off ever since he had woken up alone again. Damned if John was going to die!

Rodney took a last look at the barren room behind him before stepping out of the ruin. The sky was overcast; the river was running strong through the remainders of the village where he had camped for the last few nights. It was time to leave. He had thought he was going to die in that small room without ever seeing any of his friends again.

"You are very close to him, aren't you?" A voice asked from behind John. He didn't need to turn to recognize his mentor, his guide among the Ascended.

"Yes, Rodney and I are close friends. I care about him, like I care about the rest of me team. I don't want to see them die because of me." He answered sounding belligerent even to his own ears.

"You still feel intensely. I noticed that the first time we met. Your mind is still young, but you are one of us." Chaya said with a smile.

John didn't answer her. He couldn't agree with her. He didn't feel like he belonged with the Ascended. Not yet. Eventually he would. Being with the Ascended had touched something buried in him that the Ancient technology had only begun to awaken. It was part of who he was, he could feel his connection to this form of existence, but his emotions were still tied to the physical world and the life he had lead there.

"I saw what you did. I expected it from you. You're strong willed and resourceful." Chaya chided.

"I know. I did what I had to do. I couldn't abandon them. Do what you have to do." John had made his decision and was going to stand by it.

TBC


	15. Betrayed

**_Space Pirates_**

**_Chapter 15_**

* * *

The sun had just crept over the horizon when John Sheppard stopped breathing. His battered body was finally starting to give in to his injuries. Within a minute Carson had him intubated and hooked up to the portable respirator that they had brought with them. Even if Sheppard managed to hang on, he was on borrowed time now. The generator could only supply power to the medical equipment for so long, if they didn't reach Atlantis by then, John's chances were small. With the Jumper damaged beyond repair, there was no way to know when, or even if they were going to be able to leave the planet. 

Carson scrubbed over his face and stretched his sore muscles. The adrenaline rush was starting to die down and the ache was starting to seep into his muscles from when the Wraith had tossed him around earlier. He sensed a headache forming, but to his relief didn't feel nauseous or dizzy. He had probably escaped a concussion, he was just bone tired. But sleep was not a possibility. He had patients to watch, even though he was painfully aware just how limited he was in what he could do for his injured friends. They needed the resources of the infirmary. Aiden had drifted off into a fevered sleep after he had given him a dose of morphine. The pain from his rapidly progressing infection had become unbearable. Carson was worried by the unusually quick spread of the infection, it might be an organism indigenous to the planet or to the Pegasus galaxy. There was so much that they didn't know yet about local pathogens. They hadn't even begun to scratch the surface . Reliable treatments were years away. There was so much out there that could kill them, that Carson sometimes wondered whether they were not crazy being out there.

Carson leaned back to watch his patients. Aiden kept shifting around on the floor of the Jumper, mumbling incoherently. Carson had bound the young man's ribs to stabilize them and hope that his unconscious movements would do them no damage. He knew that he was bound to tear his healing cuts on his side as Carson didn't have the equipment to stitch them shut. Normally Carson would have sedated Aiden properly to keep him still, but without being able to make sure that the soldier didn't have a head injury he could not do that. Teyla was in on of the seats, dozing lightly. As Carson had predicted, the Wraith feeding process involved a toxin that prevented blood clotting, causing the wound on her chest to continue to bleed. The bandage he had put over it was already soaked through, but he had used up almost all their bandage material already. When they had sat out for the rescue mission, he had not planned for so many injured. To make up for the blood loss he had hooked Teyla up to a saline I.V. The Wraith toxin was also causing Sheppard more problems. Not only was his wound continuing to bleed liberally, but his blood pressure was dipping dangerously low while his pulse was staying fast and thready. He had examined the major before and there had been no swelling or fresh bruises on his chest before. The only bruises on his chest had been days old. Nothing had indicated internal bleeding before. But now the signs were pointing in the direction and it was entirely possible that it was another effect of the Wraith toxin to damage the organs of their victims. No wonder the man's body was starting to shut down. He could only hope the fluids he was pumping into him could tide him over until they got to the infirmary.

Carson once again checked on the vitals of his three patients and prepared himself for another round of waiting.

Ten minutes later, his comm activated.

_"Sergeant, this is Stackhouse. Markham and I have the Dart in sight."_ He heard Stackhouse's voice over the line.

"Good job. Life signs?" Bates was asking.

_"Negative. The craft appears abandoned."_

"Keep the channel open and be careful on your approach. The Wraith could have booby-trapped the area."

_"Will do."_

Minutes of tense silence followed before Stackhouse was back on the line.

_"We are at the Dart. Damage appears to be minor from what we can tell. But Markham isn't sure he can fly this thing. That is if it still flies."_

Footsteps and shifting of clothes came crackling over the radio then a loud whirring filled his ear.

_"Wow! What the hell?"_ Markham exclaimed.

"Report! What's going on over there?" Bates demanded.

_"I...I don't know. The Dart, it reacted, like the Jumpers. It's like it's waiting for something."_ Markham reported.

_"Sit down and try telling it what to do. Maybe it really does work like a Jumper."_ Stackhouse suggested for them to hear over the comm.

A few seconds passed before they heard a gasp and a pained groan.

_"Markham! Are you all right?"_ Stackhouse yelled.

There was no answer, instead the whirring noise intensifying.

_"Stop! Set us down again!"_ Stackhouse was frantic.

"Sergeant, report!" Bates commanded, trying to keep up with what was going on aboard the Dart.

_"We're flying, I don't know how. But Markham, something's wrong with him. It's like he just froze up. I have no idea were he are going. The displays-"_ Stackhouse broke up and static filled the air.

Carson switched off his comm. Now they could only hope that Markham and Stackhouse were going to be all right. Stackhouse had sounded genuinely panicked. He could only imagine what he happened aboard the Dart.

Teyla woke to the sound of rustling leaves and chirping birds and instantly knew that it was early morning. She had no intended to fall into such a deep sleep when danger was still present, but her body had demanded it and exhaustion had taken its toll. She relaxed slightly when she couldn't sense the presence of the Wraith anymore. The cold rush she felt in proximity of the enemy had disappeared, but she knew she was not alone. Most likely one of her team members was near by. A movement shifted the air and a warm hand landed on her shoulder. In spite of the small warning, she still shrank back at the touch. It was so easy to be startled when deprived of sight. It made her vulnerable.

"Sorry. How are you feeling?" It was Carson's concerned voice asking her.

"Rested. I feel rested." She replied. It was true.

"Your wound is still bleeding. Are you in a lot of pain?" He ignored her earlier reply.

"It is tolerable. It feels like the Wraith's touch burned me." She replied.

"Yes, you could say that it is a burn. It just bleeds a lot for one. Just wait and I'll get a fresh dressing."

"I have seen the wounds the Wraith leave. They are not like any other wounds. They will bleed for days, until the victims dies."

Teyla's words halted the doctor.

"Are you saying that you have seen people bleed out from wounds like this?"

"No, they usually died sooner unless a healer could give them an antidote. Often they were very sick and vomited blood. Some seemed to drown in their own blood." Teyla relied gravely.

Carson surmised very quickly that the affected Athosians had probably died of massive internal haemorrhage. Given the standard of Athosian technology, the healers had been powerless to do anything against the decline of the victims. Expect for the antidote the Teyla had mentioned.

"You said that there was an antidote."

"Yes. But it takes several days to prepare, often the victims died before it was ready. It is made from a plant my people grew on Athos. We tried to grow it on the mainland as well, but the soil and the weather don't seem right for it, so I'm told. Therasia only grows on Athos at the moment. It was very valuable in trade at one time, because only few planets can successfully grew the herb. The recipe to manufacture the drug is very well guarded."

"Do you know how to do it?"

"No, but Eiran knows. He is a healer among my people. But there are risks to the antidote. If it is too potent it can kill easily kill the person you are trying to save. I remember, when I was young, there was a boy named Rodijen. He had been attacked by a Wraith, but he is condition was not grave. Everyone knew he was going to get worse and the healers started to prepare the antidote. It took two days and two nights for the drug to prepare. Rodijen bled for two days and two nights. He was getting weaker and could not get up from his place in the tent anymore. But when he was brought the antidote and drank it, his whole body started convulsing and he was screaming horribly as if he were in terrible pain. Suddenly he went still and was dead." For the first time since he had met her, Teyla sounded genuinely disturbed. Carson could see fine tremors run through her body, not sure of they were soley from reliving the memory or also from pain, exhaustion and the trauma of the past few days.

"We'll find a way to work out--" Carson broke up suddenly when the floor disappeared under his feet and a tingling sensation took hold of him.

* * *

_There was a click and the door opened. Two men stepped inside. John had been around military long enough to recognize a uniform when he saw one. The dark blue overall's, complete with what looked like name patches covered in white alien writing, screamed uniform._

_"Come on. You are being transferred." The bigger of the two men said, standing in the door._

_"Transferred where? I was told we were staying here." Carson sounded alarmed._

_"No you don't. I got your transfer orders right here." The big guy who reminded John of a football player calmly handed John a piece of paper. John stared at it. It was covered in ornate writing. It could have said anything. Carson reached for it._

_"Where are you bringing us?"_

_"Ristia mountain work camp. They say the view is pretty." The guard smiled. "Now get up."_

_Carson was still staring at the sheet in his hands. _

_"A work camp wasn't part of the deal." He protested. "Magistrate Geshkan assured me that we would stay here."_

_"I'm sure that Magistrate Geshkan would consider showing leniency to the people who crippled our society. You are lucky to be alive!" The voice of the guard was ice cold now._

_John and Carson knew better than to ask more questions. They got to their feet and did as the guard asked. The two guards bound their wrists tightly behind their backs. John was sure that it was no accident that the metal band of cuff was cutting into his skin. The twisted angle of his arms strained the stab wound on the base of his neck, threatening to reopen the wound that Carson had never gotten around the treat properly. _

_"Move!"_

_John didn't have time to obey the command before something hard slammed into his lower back. John yelped in pain and tried to curl into himself, hampered by his bound arms. Pain raged in his side, as he went to his knees. Damned if he had torn some of his stitches from the gunshot injury._

_Through the ringing in his ears, he could hear another cry near him. From the corner of his eye, he could see Carson sink to the ground. Hands yanked him to his feet again. John stumbled forwards, wanting to avoid another blow. His side felt like it was on fire. The grey corridor seemed endless in front of him as he staggered along, inspired by the constant prodding to his back. They stopped in front of a locked gate. The second guard went up to unlock it while the big guard herded them through it. _

_It was night outside, but flood light lit the walled square brightly. John had just time to steal a look at another alien sky before he was shoved towards a grey truck._

_"Get in the back." The footballer commanded. _

_They ended up being hauled into the back of the truck by the guards, as it was impossible to climb in with their hands tied behind their backs._

_When John landed on his side, black spots swam in his field of vision. His day was rapidly getting worse. All he could do was try not to throw up as his stomach was churning._

_"You're bleeding." Carson's voice sounded above him._

_"No kidding." John gasped._

_"Let me have a look at it." John felt hands turning him over gently and for the moment he felt like the Carson he knew was back._

_"I know this is going to hurt a bit. Sorry." Carson said softly, before starting to tug at John's shirt._

_John winced, as Carson peeled of the stained bandaged._

_"Yeh, you ripped out a few stitches, but I think it will stop bleeding on its own. It doesn't look too bad. It's a shame that I don't have anything remotely clean to bandage it with."_

_John grabbed the hem of his prison issued robe and tried to rip a strip of fabric off of it, but the linen like cloth didn't yield._

_"Damn." He swore._

_"Wait." Carson slipped a thin blade out of the folds of his robe. John stared. Obviously Carson had not been kidding when he had talked about having a deal with someone. He had to have help in smuggling in a weapon. Carson swiftly cut of a strip of fabric of John's robe and dressed his wound with it._

_The moment of caring had felt so different from anything John had experienced over the past few days, that he hardly knew how to react. For the first time, he had the feeling that he was not just a pawn in a game. John was no longer used to people being nice to him. Although their overall situation was still grim, the small instant of warmth left him shocked and confused. Culture shock. He hung his head between his knees._

_"You know, this was not supposed to work out this way." Carson said after a pause._

_"I gathered as much." John lifted his head._

_"Magistrate Geshkan made a deal with me. I contacted him about a month ago and offered him Atlantis and the cure for the virus. He didn't exactly mince words when he told me what he would do to us. But I knew that. That's why I did it. The Wraith might defeat us eventually when they find a way to get through the shield, but until then, no one could stop them. The Yularians had the weapons and the technology to kill us. They wanted to see every last Atlantian dead. But Geshkan promised to let me escape to another planet afterwards after I upheld my end of the deal. We weren't supposed to be shipped off to a prison camp." Carson spoke more with regret than anger._

_"What happened to start it all?" John asked, for he knew them all as different people and for some reason, Carson and Rodney had been the least affected by the madness that had befallen all of the expedition members. _

_"Yulara. They gave us advanced technology in exchange for the Ancient gene. For the first time, we had a chance of fighting back. Not just surviving. We got the shield up within two weeks. Their bio-technology is amazing. On Earth, we haven't even begun to imagine what the Yularians have realized centuries ago. They were stupid, given it all away, just for access to the Ancient gene. It wasn't difficult to engineer the virus with enough Earth virii mixed in to ensure that they could not find a cure on their own. After all, we could not let them have the gene." Carson sounded cold, reminding John that this world was different after all. Carson's account, although it had not answered his question, had told him what he had wanted to know. There had never been a turning point. The people he had thought he knew would never have made such a trade in the first place. _

_TBC_


	16. Detected

_**Space Pirates**_

_**Chapter 16**_

He couldn't breathe, icy cold swept over him and he lost all feeling of orientation as his body made contact with a solid surface. When he could finally draw breath again, he smelled musty, damp air. He became aware of a deep humming permeating the dark space. He drew deep breaths, waiting for the worst of the panic to recede. Panic was not going to help him now, he had to remain calm and rational. Gather information about his surroundings. Yes, that was it. Wasn't that what the major would do? Right now he wished for the presence of the soldier.

Slowly, he reached out, feeling his way. The floor was smooth, radiating an odd warmth. Through the palm of his hand he could feel the vibrations in tune with the humming that filled his ears. He listened. Beneath the hum lay a hissing whisper and heavy metallic breaths sounded in the distance. Carson shuddered, he felt like he was inside a living organism.

His radio chirped a familiar sound in the midst of the alien cacophony.

"Beckett."

_"Finally! Stackhouse here, did we get all of you? I tried to warn you, but I couldn't reach you. I think you need to have a look at Markham. The ship did something to him. He's all frozen up."_

A wave of relief washed over Beckett. They were aboard the Dart. "Aye. Could you get some light back here? I need to check on the others?"

_"Sorry, I'll see what I can do."_ Stackhouse said and closed the connection.

Carson sat back on his heels, listening to the sounds of the Dart. He wondered whether the Wraith Darts were indeed more than machines. He couldn't shake the impression that the vessel was alive. The implications for Markham who must have connected on some level to the small ship were not pleasant.

Carson heard a whooshing sound and a sliver of light penetrated the room. Stackhouse stood in the doorframe of the half-opened door, fear and exhaustion written on his face. They hadn't come on the rescue mission prepared to be chased by Wraith and stranded on an alien planet.

"Help me check their vitals. You've had some medical training, correct?" Carson eyed Stackhouse, who slowly nodded in response.

Together the two men did a quick check on the condition of their three injured friends. Carson noted the transport didn't seem to have affected their condition in any way. Markham had fortunately remembered to transport their medical supplies along with them. After verifying that Sheppard was still doing all right on the ventilator and that Teyla and Ford were showing no signs of immediate decline, Carson accompanied Stackhouse to the front of the ship.

Markham didn't seem to notice their presence, his gaze never wavered, in fact it seemed fixed on a point far away.

"Sergeant Markham?" Beckett asked in a soft voice, trying not to startle the pilot. After all they were relying on him to fly them home to Atlantis.

"I already tried that, it's like talking to a wall." Stackhouse whispered.

"When did he start acting like that?"

"As soon as he sat down at the controls, it must be the ship. It reacted to us, just like the Jumpers do."

Carson carefully moved his hand through Markham's field of vision. As expected nothing happened. The pilot didn't even blink in reaction. Carson reached to feel his pulse. It was a little bit fast, but otherwise strong and steady. Stackhouse was watching the doctor with concerned eyes.

"I don't think there's much we can do now. He seems to be able to pilot the ship fine. I don't think there's any Wraith influence. After all, he picked us and our gear up. We'll have just to wait from here on. Any idea where we're headed?" Carson moved up to study the multitude of displays.

"After what happened to Markham, I haven't been touching the displays, but I think this is some kind of star map." Stackhouse indicated one of the screens. To Carson it looked like a collection of dots and numbers. "From what I can tell it's set to scan for human life signs on any given planet in range, basically telling the Wraith whether a planet is worth culling." Stackhouse paused. "I studied the star maps before we left Atlantis, we're headed the right way. At the rate we're going, we should be getting within sensor range of Atlantis soon. If they are monitoring Wraith activity, they might already have picked us up."

"Do ye realize what ye saying?" Carson exclaimed. "They might shoot us down!"

oOo

The metal pipe slammed against the bed post, accompanied by shouts, telling the prisoners to get up.

John rolled over on his thin, thread-bare mattress, cursing at the pain from his still healing wound, staggering to his feet. He pulled on his boots, already dressed in his clothes. The nights in the mountains were cold and the blanket he'd been given offered little warmth. John joined the queue of men lining up to collect their breakfast rations. He spotted Carson a few positions in front of him. It was their first morning in Ristia. They'd arrived the previous afternoon and already spent half a day sorting crystals for their purity. The work had been fairly light and mostly carried out by women and older men. John was sure there was worse to come.

Once he'd collected his breakfast consisting of a cup of broth and some oil dunked bread, he went to find Carson. Until he figured out the dynamics here, he planned to remain aloof, but Carson had a weapon, so it was definitely worth staying in his good graces. John didn't see the possibility for escape yet, especially since he would still be trapped on a planet full of people that hated the Atlantians and with good reason.

He found Carson leaning against the wall of their barrack, his breakfast sitting next to him untouched. His knees were drawn up, his arms wrapped around them. The man appeared lost in thought and didn't react to John's approach. John leaned against the wall and slid down next to Carson.

"You should eat, we might not get anything until tonight." The memory of dinner the previous night was not pleasant. An oatmeal-like paste devoid of any salt, it tasted burnt and bland. John had eaten worse, but not much. After hardly having eaten for the past two days, the alien oatmeal had been filling at least.

"Carson?" John reached for Carson's shoulder. Through the fabric he felt fine tremors running through the other man's body. He inched closer. Carson didn't look well, he was pale and despite the low temperature, sweat was glistening on his forehead.

Carson batted his hand away. "Leave me alone." He growled.

John shrugged.

"Whatever. Watch out for that food." If Carson didn't want to talk to him then that was his problem. John would still keep an eye on the Scot. They hadn't seen much yet, but John doubted that in an open prison society like this, the peace would last long.

A guard dressed in a fairly ragged uniform was headed straight for their resting place. His face was pinched and he looked tired.

"What are you still doing here?"

John cast a look around. He had allowed himself a moment to rest, he hadn't had much sleep and his injuries still dragged him down. Concentrating on Carson, he hadn't even noticed that the barrack had emptied itself. The guard didn't wait for him to answer.

"You are new here." He said, exhaustion lacing his voice.

"We got here yesterday." John explained. Better not to irritate the guard if he could avoid it. This work camp didn't seem like the prime assignment for the guards working there either.

"You look strong enough to work in the mine." The guard gave John an appraising glance. "This is women's work here."

oOo

Tension lay heavy over the control room. The whole of Atlantis could feel it. The nightshift had come and gone without receiving news from the rescue team. No one had seen Elizabeth leave her office since Dr Beckett and Sergeant Bates' team had left. Radek Zelenka stepped into the control room, armed with a thick folder and more bad news. Watching the tense looks directed at him as he made his way to Elizabeth's office, he straightened, clutching his folder tighter. They would all know in a matter of minutes. The news would make their current worries seem small by comparison. Now, they'd need McKay.

He knocked on Elizabeth's door.

"Come in." She answered after a pause.

Radek entered, coming to a halt in front of the desk. Elizabeth looked more dishevelled than he had ever seen her, absently running a hand through her hair.

"What's the matter, Dr. Zelenka?" She sounded tired and irritated.

Radek held on to his folder.

"You know that we regularly monitor Wraith activity using device that Major Sheppard obtain from the Genii." He made a small pause, searching for the best way to put it, but there wasn't any wording that would make the situation better. "A hive ship is on way towards Atlantis. We have maybe 72 hours."

Elizabeth looked at him for a moment.

"How come we didn't know this earlier?"

"It was the closest to Atlantis, but until now, the Wraith didn't seem aware of our position. The ship is moving at far greater speed than initially anticipated. Their engines must different from Jumper's engines. I didn't have time to think about this in more detail, but Wraith's propulsion technology is probably hybrid between conventional engines and hyperdrive engines as seen with the Asgard. Now obviously Wraith have no means of leaving this galaxy on their own, which means…"

Elizabeth raised her hand to silence him.

"All right. I don't think this really matters now. What's the status of the science department?"

"We have been working on developing naquadah enhanced grenades. There are few prototypes ready. We haven't been able to produce them in mass or carry out field test on them. We could produce more, but have no more naquadah other than what was brought from Earth. It must be native to Pegasus, the Ancient used it to build gates, but guess there isn't time now." Radek felt the pressure of finding the impossible solution weighing down on him. Where was McKay when they needed him?

Elizabeth got up from her seat, her hand poised at her comm device. She dropped it again, focussing back on Radek.

"How long will the shield last?"

"Cautious estimate, 36 to 40 hours. But we don't know what will happen if Wraith fire on shield. Absorbing blast energy might drain shield much faster. We risk draining all of ZPM. Without energy source, Atlantis' systems would be dead. We wouldn't even be able to use the Stargate." Radek looked at her. "We wouldn't be able to initiate the self-destruct."

Elizabeth nodded.

"Atlantis' weapons?" She sounded almost weary.

"With Dr. Beckett and Major Sheppard off-world, there is no one to use chair. The major is really the only one who has what it takes. Rodney has experimented with chair a lot. There is no one who can use it."

Elizabeth rubbed the bridge of her nose. "Have Dr. Hayes give you the file of the gene carriers. Have them try. Keep me informed. I'll call in a briefing with Sergeant Lee in about an hour. I guess it's time I made the announcement."

"We still have M8X-063." Radek knew that it had always been one of their last options.

"There's hardly time." Elizabeth wished the rest of her senior staff were with her, she needed their input in this situation. She had to do this alone. It was her decision. It would always have been her call to make, but if things had been different, she would be able to rely on three people she trusted most to deal with such a crisis. Elizabeth reminded herself she was surrounded by extraordinarily qualified professionals. None of the people on the expedition would be here, if they weren't outstanding individuals and come highly recommended in their respective fields.

"Make a list of the personnel you need to work on our defences and contact Sergeant Luca with the details. I'll put her in charge of co-ordinating the evacuation. We've run simulations and the storm taught us a few things, we'll get everyone who isn't needed off Atlantis. The bigger problem will be transporting..." Elizabeth thought out loud.

Her comm chirped, interrupting her.

_"Dr. Weir, we're picking up a Wraith Dart heading straight for Atlantis." _Grodin's panicked voice flooded over the comm.

"I'll be right there."

Elizabeth headed for the door, Radek following on her heels.

"They must have dispatched the Dart scout." Radek mumbled as they rushed into the control room. Elizabeth ordered a scanner sweep of the sector.

"If there are any more Darts out there, I want to know. If any more show up, I want to know immediately. Get Sergeants Lee and Luca here." Elizabeth ordered. The control room staff launched into action. Dr Weir turned to Grodin. "How long until the Dart gets here?"

"Twenty minutes maybe. We didn't pick it up until it got very close." Grodin said apologetically. "There's no sign of any others yet, but there could be more on the way, we just don't have any way of detecting them sooner."

"Let me have a look at scanning parameters. There has to be way to configure them to scan specifically for the Darts." Radek said, moving next to Grodin at the Ancient computer display.

"What's going on?" Sergeant Luca came jogging up to the group.

"We have Wraith on the way. Currently a Dart is fifteen minutes from Atlantis. A hive ship is three days behind." Elizabeth informed her in a clipped tone. Sergeant Luca swallowed, closing her eyes for a second. No, please god, no.

"I understand. What's our strategy?" She hoped she could keep her voice from trembling. She admired the calm with which Atlantis' leader was dealing with the crisis.

"The Dart probably carries a scouting party. We need to intercept it before they have a chance to transport into the City. The City's weapons are unavailable at the moment and we need to conserve the shield's power to deal with the hive ship later." Elizabeth looked the younger woman in the eye. "I need you to fly the Jumper, Sergeant."

Sergeant Luca paled, but nodded. "Yes ma'am." She bit her lip, as if wanting to say more.

Elizabeth knew that the woman wasn't a fighter pilot, she wasn't even a pilot, but she was the only person available who'd had flight training since coming to Atlantis and logged a few hours flying between Atlantis and the Mainland. It would have to do.

TBC


	17. Shot Down

Space Pirates Chapter 17

* * *

"Control Room? This is Jumper Four. I'm airborne and awaiting further instructions," 

Sergeant Luca's voice resounded through the control room.

„We are receiving you, Jumper Four. Do you have the Dart on your instruments?" Elizabeth replied over the comm.

„Yes, I'm having the object on a direct intercept course heading for the City. ETA is approximately eight minutes." Sergeant Luca informed them. It didn't take much to hear that the young woman wasn't confident in flying the sole craft that could defend the City from the impending Wraith scouting party.

Down in the control room, Elizabeth walked over to Grodin.

"What's the status of the shield?"

"It's as ready as it has ever been. We should be able to use it if we have to." Grodin replied.

"From what we have gathered from the database, a Dart only has minimal weapons. It shouldn't be able to inflict any significant damage to our structures." Radek informed her.

"Yes, I know. But we can't let the Dart scan us either. We have to destroy it. The Jumper is armed with the Naquadah enhanced grenades, but we only have the prototypes. It has to be enough." Elizabeth said. "If we could rely on the City's weapons we have to let the Dart get close enough to scan us or risk transporting someone aboard. I will give the order to use the shield should the Dart enter the atmosphere of the planet. I know we will need every moment of the shield that we can get when the Wraith attack, but this is it. The Wraith are here. If the shield can help us slow the Wraith down then it will be worth it." Elizabeth ordered.

An alarm sounded from the computer and Radek looked over to Elizabeth.

"The Dart is approaching the planet. Two minutes until the it enters orbit." Radek announced.

"Sergeant Luca, did you get this?" Elizabeth asked.

„Message received, Doctor." The sergeant didn't sound reassured at all. "I have them on sensors."

Radek had an idea and quickly pulled up the Ancient database and scrolled to the building plans of the Darts. The Ancients had made thorough intelligence reports, he had to grant them that, even if they hadn't won the war in the end. He switched on his comm..

"Sergeant Luca. This is Dr. Zelenka. I'm transmitting the building plans of the Wraith Dart to you. You may not get the chance, but try to target the engines. Even if they do get the chance top scan us, if they drop in the ocean, they can't rely the data to the Wraith."

"All right. I'm receiving the data, Dr. Zelenka." Sergeant Luca replied over the comm..

"Good thinking, Doctor." Weir commented.

oOo

"I think we should be in orbit any minute now. If I'm reading the display's right." Stackhouse was leaning over Markham's shoulder. „I think he programmed a course there. Otherwise we'd hardly be heading to Atlantis just like that…"

Carson joined Stackhouse in the front of the cockpit.

"Any idea how we can contact Atlantis and tell them that we are coming. I'm not eager to be shot out of the sky by our own people. When do our comm. Units start working?"

Stackhouse shrugged.

"They should work when we are above the City, but I have no idea what the range is on those things. It would be safer if we figured out the communications systems on this thing."

"That might not be wise. What if touching the controls has the same effect on you as it had on Markham. I'd rather not that anyone else try it. The Wraith control might have some sort of psychic interface that we don't know about."

"Dangerous or not Doc. We have no choice. Less than a minute before we are in orbit."

Stackhouse focussed on the controls.

A few second later a light flared and an alarm started beeping.

"What's that?" Beckett asked in alarm.

"I think there is another ship heading for us." Stackhouse replied.

He had barely a chance to finish the sentence before a blast rocked the ship, nearly throwing them off their feet.

"You think?"

"We took a hit to our engines, I think." Stackhouse read from the controls. "But we are still heading straight for the City."

Another volley rocked the Dart and threw the two men off their feet.

Beckett was the first to regain his footing. He switched on his comm., in the hopes of being close enough to reach the control room or the pilot of the Jumper attacking them.

"Anyone? This is Dr. Beckett! Please stop firing and let us explain. Atlantis! Are you receiving us?"

Nothing but static crackled over the comm..

Stackhouse threw him a despondent look.

"It's no use. We can't get through to them."

"They think we are the Wraith. They are going to blow us up. We have to do something!"

Beckett yelled, just as the Dart took a third blow. The small ship tilted forwards and the sharp downward course left no doubt that they were losing altitude fast.

"We can't return fire even if I had any idea how. We'd risk killing our own people." Stackhouse was getting desperate. „The last blast knocked us off course; we're no longer headed for the City. We're going to crash into the ocean."

"Oh great. The water is going to crush is like a tin can, that's if Atlantis doesn't finish us off before we have a chance to drown." Beckett returned a mix of sarcasm and desperation in his tone. He barely got to finish his sentence when the Dart hit the surface of the ocean.

oOo

The entire control room had followed the battle on screen. As the Dart plunged into the ocean a collective sign of relief echoed through the control room.

"Puddle Jumper Four? What is your status?" Weir contacted the space craft.

"The target has been disabled. With your permission, I'm returning to the City now?" Sergeant Luca replied.

"Job well done, Sergeant. Return to base." Weir said with a smile. She turned to Grodin and Zelenka.

„Do you still have the Dart on sensors?"

"No, I lost it as it went under water" Grodin replied.

"Can you locate it? I want to make sure that we have eliminated the threat. Dr. Zelenka, you and Dr. McKay have speculated that the Puddle Jumpers could withstand a dive into the ocean up to significant depths. If the Darts are similarly resilient, we could still be in danger."

"From what I have seen from the construction plans of the Darts in the Ancient database, I doubt that the Darts could withstand the water pressure for a prolonged time. They were built for speed, not for stability." Radek considered.

"Still, I want you to get on it. Locate the Dart. I want you and Sergeant Luca to take out the Puddle Jumper and capture the remains of the Dart for analysis. So far we only have what's in the database on the Darts. Having the wreckage of an actual Dart would provide us with valuable intelligence. We need everything we can get now that the Wraith are on their way." Weir explained.

oOo

Carson woke up in a world of hurt. Pain laced down from his head into his right shoulders and down his arm. Instinctively he raised his arm to feel for the source of his aching head, but an explosion of pain stopped him dead in his tracks and prompted him to open his eyes.

The light was dim, but it was enough to recognise that he was no longer inside the Dart, but in a large indoor dock. Carefully, now wary not to put weight on his right arm, he levered himself into a sitting position to get a better look around. His head was spinning ferociously and his vision was starting to blur if he tried to hard to make something out. But from what he could recognise, he was in a large hall, with a high, vaulted ceiling and some sort of indoor dock. The hall was closed to the outside and there was no visible lighting, yet everything was illuminated with a dim, greenish glow. Floating in the black water was the Wraith Dart. It was the only craft visible in the vast docking bay that would have been large enough to house an entire fleet of ships. Carson scrambled to get to his feet and limped over to where the Dart was floating in the water. The ground descended in several steps towards the ocean. Carson gingerly climbed down towards the black body of water as far as he could to reach the Dart. As he was close enough to touch the hull of the Dart, the side bulkhead slid open as if obeying his mental command.

Inside, Markham was slumped over the cockpit controls; Stackhouse was lying motionless on the floor behind him, bleeding from a wound on the side of his head. Carson stepped over into the cockpit, holding on to the bulkhead as the Dart moved in the water.

He leaned over Stackhouse, verifying that the man was still alive. As he checked his pulse, Stackhouse stirred and immediately moved to sit up, but Carson cautioned him.

"Take it slow. Stay down for a second!"

"What happened?"

"I'm not sure. I think we are in Atlantis. Some sort of underground docking bay, but I have no idea how we got here. You took a hit to the head when we crashed into the ocean."

"I'm fine." Stackhouse insisted and sat up. "You don't look too good yourself. You have blood all over your face."

Carson wiped his sleeve over his face and was surprised when it came back bloody.

"Must have hit my nose when we crashed." He shrugged. His head hurt like hell, not to mention his right arm which felt like it was broken, but those injuries could wait until they figured out what had happened.

"I'm going to check on Sheppard and the others." Carson said and made for the rear compartment.

"I'll try to contact Atlantis. If we really are in the City, we should be able to make contact."

oOo

"Dr. Weir. I can't locate the Dart anymore, but when I calibrated the sensors, I noticed something else. Seven additional bio signs on level 4. It's outside the perimeter of what we have explored so far."

"Could the Wraith have transported a scouting party aboard before the Dart crashed into the ocean?"

"It's possible. Although I think that would have raised an alarm with the City, unless the sensors in that area are damage from the storm…" Radek theorized.

Elizabeth didn't wait for him to finish. If the Wraith were in the City, they had to act now.

"Sergeant Lee, this is Dr. Weir, assemble your team and head down to level 4 sector…"

"Sector 23 beta." Radek filled in for her.

"Sector 23 beta, you got that."

"Got that. What are we dealing with?"

"Possibly Wraith. They might have transported aboard the City before we had a chance to take them down. We'll try to disable to transporters down there to keep the Wraith in place. You'll have to take the long route."

"All right. I'll keep you posted. Lee out." The sergeant replied over the comm..

"Radek, Peter, disable the transporters, I do not want the Wraith to leave that level."

"Cutting power. The transporters are now off-line. There are four access routes to level 4. Two of them directly next to sector 23 beta. We could-"

Radek was interrupted as suddenly a voice came over the comm..

"Atlantis? This is Stackhouse with the rescue team. We're somewhere in the lower level of Atlantis. Some sort of docking bay from the looks of it, but we have no idea where we are…it's all incredibly vast down here."

"Sergeant Stackhouse, we are receiving you. I think we have your locating on the sensors. A team is on their way to you now."

"Thank God." They could all hear the relief in the sergeant's voice. „We need a medical team. The expedition team was badly injured, Dr. Beckett is checking up on them now, but they weren't doing so good…" Stackhouse sounded somewhat confused and more than a little tired.

"We'll send down a team from the infirmary." Elizabeth replied. „Good to have you back."

oOo

John turned away from the scene unfolding around them and focussed on his companion.

"You saved them. They would have drowned after Sergeant Luca shot them down. Why?"

„Why should I let them die, John? You still care about your friends and feel for them intensely. You would have grieved for them if their lives had been lost." Chaya replied lightly.

"I would not have let it happen."

"I know. I know that you would have accepted the consequences for your actions. But I could not let you. I have been alone for too long. When I lived on my planet, I was different from everybody else, I could only watch from afar. But when I met you, I sensed your heritage. Now that you are one of us, I can't let you throw it all away like I did it once."

TBC


	18. Rescued

SpacePirates Chapter18

* * *

Elizabeth had left Peter Grodin and Sergeant Lee back in the control room to wait for news in her office. She felt bad for not being out there with her people, but she needed the moments of calm and privacy. She had not slept in almost seventy-two hours and the strain of sleep deprivation and worry for her the expedition members had worn on her. The stress of the last hour had brought her dangerously close to breaking down. She had not let anyone see how close to the edge she had come, but she knew herself well enough that she knew that the time had come to pull back.

At the moment, she could do nothing. After Stackhouse had contacted them from the then-unexplored indoor dock on level four, she sent a full medical team and an additional security team down to the newly discovered area.

Sergeant Lee's team had swept the area for Wraith activity, but had come up empty so far. Elizabeth had ordered the search broadened, but didn't expect them to find anything. It seemed certain that the Wraith Dart hadn't carried anyone but members of the expedition. She was just doing her job in making sure. Now Dr. Biro was doing her job checking out the rescue team. The preliminary report from the medical team had indicated several injuries.

There was a knock at the door, interrupting her musings.

"Come in!"

The door opened and Sergeant Stackhouse entered. He looked dishevelled and seemed to have come straight from the infirmary. He was down to a tee-shirt and fatigue pants. He had a bandage over one of his eyes and spatters of blood on his pants.

"Dr. Weir?"

"Yes, Sergeant. Take a seat." Elizabeth pointed to the chair opposite her desk.

"How are you?"

"A bump to the head, but Dr. Cooper said it's only a minor concussion. He wants me for observation over night, but after that, I should be fine. I came to give a preliminary mission report."

"I appreciate that. We were rather surprised when your team showed up in a Wraith Dart." Dr. Weir replied.

"Yes. I can imagine that." Stackhouse smiled, than winced when the move pulled at the stitches in his forehead. „I'm sorry to say, but we crashed the Jumper on the planet where Sheppard's team was stranded. A fire fight with the Wraith. We were unable to repair the ship. If there was a Gate on this planet, we couldn't find it. We defeated the Wraith on the planet, after that we located their ship and used it to fly to Atlantis. We had no other choice because the Major and his team were in pretty bad shape. Dr. Beckett said they didn't have the time we needed to repair the Jumper." Stackhouse summarized for Dr. Weir.

Elizabeth listened to the summary of the rescue mission.

"We'll consider the recovery of the Jumper. What do you know about Dr. McKay?"

"I don't know what happened to him. He wasn't with the Major's team when we came to the planet. Carson spoke to Ford and Teyla about him and they told him, he was still on another planet. We had to return to Atlantis to save their lives."

"You made the right choice." Elizabeth reassured him.

"What happens to Dr. McKay now? Is he going to be declared MIA now?" Stackhouse asked.

"Probably. I will have to talk to someone from the Major's team who know what happened to him, but yes, he'll probably be declared MIA. Another mission to the planet where the Major was help is be too risky. We already lost one mission to that planet."

oOo

Carson tried to ignore the throbbing in his right arm. He had been right before, his right forearm had been broken. Other than that Dr. Cooper, that assistant doctor on duty had diagnosed him with a concussion and had ordered him to stay for 24-hour observation. He knew he should rest, his aching head and the barely medication-suppressed nausea were clear signs. But the worry for his patients kept him restless. He knew that Teyla and John suffered from the after-effects of a Wraith feeding. He recalled Teyla's account of her people's experiences with survivors of Wraith attacks. They would have to find a way to counteract the Wraith poison in their system or they would die from internal bleeding. It would next to impossible to come up with a counteragent to the still unknown Wraith substance in the time that Teyla and Sheppard still had, their best bet would be to try and get their hands on the herbal remedy 'Therasia' that Teyla had talked about. If they were lucky, they would find it on Athos, the original planet of the Athosians.

Carson sat up, he needed to do something to help Sheppard and Teyla, even if he only talked to Weir or Biro, but he needed to help his friends.

Carson swung his feet over the side of the bed and pushed himself to stand up. His head swam dangerously and he had to grab on to the foot of the bed to steady himself, but he managed to get standing. His head ached and he felt pretty nauseous, but after a minute, he was sure that he could remain standing on his feet.

"Dr. Beckett? You should be in bed." Dr. Biro's voice sounded from somewhere behind him. She sounded exhausted. He turned around to see her tired form standing a few feet behind him.

"I know, but I need to talk to you. It's urgent. It's about the Major and Teyla."

"I figured. Dr. Cooper and I are not having a lot of luck. If you know anything, it would be great. But I don't want to tax you too much." Dr. Biro said.

"A Wraith fed off of them. It must have introduced some sort of agent into their systems that's slowly killing them. I talked to Teyla back on the planet and she told me that the Athosians knew of an antidote. Unfortunately, it doesn't grow on the Mainland. They grew it on Athos. The preparation of it is supposedly quite complicated and only their healers know how it is done. She mentioned a man named Eiran." Carson sat back down on the bed as a wave of dizziness assailed him.

"Don't overdo it." Dr. Biro cautioned. „You helped us out a lot. I was going to make my report to Dr. Weir anyways now. I'm going to recommend she send a team to Athos right away."

Carson looked Dr. Biro in the eye.

"We don't have time to search for the antidote. Teyla said it took days to prepare. Sheppard and Teyla don't have that much time."

"I agree, but there is nothing you can do, Carson. I'm going to see about getting Eiran here from the Mainland. Maybe we can speed up the process. If it is a simple matter of purifying antidote, our equipment can help." Dr. Biro said in a calming tone. „ Get some rest, I'll talk to Dr. Weir. You have done a good job. They would not be alive without you."

Carson shook his head. There was so much left to do. There were so many unanswered questions. He didn't understand why they hadn't died after they had crashed into the ocean. That answer could wait, but his friends couldn't. Sheppard and Teyla were dying while he was lying in bed, nursing minor injuries. Part of him knew that it was for the best, if he left them to the capable hands of Dr. Biro and Dr. Cooper. They knew about the antidote on Athos and would do all they could to get it to them in time. Nothing less than he would do. Yet he couldn't let go. Too much had happened. He owed it to his friends. He thought back to the vision of Sheppard back on the planet. He had promised that they were going to see Rodney again. The vision had seemed so real, but no that the adrenaline rush was wearing off, Carson was starting to doubt what he had seen. He had been sure that something more than they knew was going on. The mysterious rescue from a certain death in the ocean surrounding Atlantis only seemed to confirm that.

oOo

Elizabeth was relieved and terrified when Dr. Biro finally called her down to the infirmary to give her the preliminary report on the status of the returned team. She had heard the report of the severe injuries and had seen in what condition Sergeant Stackhouse had been. It left her with a bleak perspective.

She took a deep breath and knocked on the doorframe of the physician's office.

"Dr. Biro?"

"Dr. Weir, come in and have a seat. I'm afraid I have little good news for you. I spoke to Sergeants Stackhouse and Markam and Dr. Beckett. They filled me in on some details of the mission."

"Yes, I spoke to Sergeant Stackhouse briefly."

"Both the Sergeants should be fine within the next few days. I'm going to keep them for observation for the next twenty-four hours, but I'm confident that they will be back on duty within a week. Sergeant Markham described an interesting experience to me when he piloted the Wraith Dart. Apparently the Wraith ships use a mental component similar to the Puddle Jumpers. Sergeant Stackhouse confirmed that Markham was unresponsive for a considerable period of time, but aside from slightly heightened neural activity, I could find nothing wrong with the Sergeant. We'll run further test during the course of the next few days, but as far as I can tell, interfacing with the Dart had no serious ill-effects."

"I'll consider that assessment. We'll need to study the Dart further to gain insight about the Wraith technology. If the technology is indeed harmless to us, I'll have to go-ahead to further tests on the Dart." Dr. Weir said.

"Lieutenant Ford suffered several severe cuts that were started to get infected. He has lost some blood and has developed a fever, but we already had some success in bringing it down. The next few hours should show how well he is responding to the antibiotics. I'm rather optimistic about his prognosis. The rescue team got him back to Atlantis in time. He was conscious for a brief time earlier and was lucid. I'm less optimistic about the major and Teyla. We haven't assessed their other injuries yet in favour of supporting care for their severely weakened systems. From what I have gathered from the remaining team members, both were attacked by Wraith on the planet. The Wraith didn't feed off of them long enough to age them, but long enough to transmit a apparently dead substance into their systems. Dr. Beckett was able to give me some valuable information about a possible antidote in traditional Athiosian medicine. It grows on their original home world, Athos."

"Athos has a Stargate, I can have a team there immediately. But we won't know what we are looking for."

"You will have to contact Halling on the Mainland. It is probably better if you informed Teyla's people about her condition. It's very serious. The Wraith itself did only minimal damage, but this substance that the Wraith leave behind in their victims systems inhibits the bloods ability to clot and to bind oxygen. It ensures a slow death of everyone the Wraith feed off."

TBC


	19. Determined

The uneasy group was assembled in the Gateroom for last minute mission briefing. The urgency of their mission left no time to hold a full briefing, so the hastily assembled team had been called straight to the Gateroom.

Dr. Zelenka looked positively comfortable as he struggled under the unfamiliar weight of the flak vest and the back pack. It was his first off-world mission and he had never expected it to take place under such pressing conditions, with the lives of two of Atlantis' senior staff on the line.

Sergeant Bates had insisted to accompany to mission, even though Dr. Biro had counselled against it, but Dr. Weir had needed someone with experience on the mission. Bates insisted he was fine and Dr. Biro could not find anything wrong with the sergeant aside from a cut on his forehead.

Halling had refused to don the standard expedition gear for the mission to his former home world. It had taken some convincing on the part of Sergeant Luca to get him to agree to guide the Atlantian team on the mission, but when he had heard that Teyla's and Sheppard's life depended on his help, he had agreed in an instant.

He didn't regret his decision to help the Atlantian save to lives of the two people he respected greatly, one for being a leader of his people, the other for being instrumental in saving his people from the Wraith. But he questioned whether the Atlantians truly knew how dangerous their undertaking was. Athos was planet that had been touched by the Wraith. No one returned to a place touched by the Wraith. He didn't expect them to understand. They came from a galaxy the Wraith had never been to. Their contact with the Wraith had only been brief so far and they were only beginning to learn about the terrible enemy that had haunted the Athosians for generations.

Dr. Weir walked up to the group. She didn't have a good feeling sending them back to Athos. No one had been on the planet for over nine months since the Athosians had fled from the planet. She knew that there was no reason to expect problems; the Wraith would have no reason to stay behind on the planet. But there was so much they didn't know yet about the Wraith and she had on ill feeling about the mission that she could not explain. But she took a deep breath and faced the group in front of her.

„Are you ready to leave?" She addressed them.

„Yes, Ma'am." Bates replied.

„Then the sooner you leave the better. Halling as explain to you what you are looking for?" Elizabeth looked from Bates over to Radek.

„Yes, he did. It shouldn't be far from the Gate. Well manageable on foot." Bates replied and shouldered his pack.

„Good luck. I don't need to tell you how important this mission is."

oOo

When Carson woke again the lights around him were dimmed. His head was still hurting, but the pain in his arm had lessened. The frantic activity of earlier had died down, so he assumed that some time had passed. He didn't realize that he had fallen asleep; he had assumed that he had merely dozed for a few minutes. The infirmary around him was quiet aside form the mechanical hum and beeping of machinery. The noise was as familiar as it was unsettling, reminding him of what had happened.

He sat up and to his pleasant surprise, the dizziness that followed only lasted a few seconds before he was able to get up to his feet. The soreness from when the Wraith had tossed him on the planet had had a chance to set on and he could feel every muscle in his body. Carefully not to move too much, he moved over to the other beds, intend on checking up on his friends.

They looked peaceful, sleeping, resting after their terrible ordeal. But Carson knew looks to be deceiving in this case. The dim light could not hide the struggle going on. The fight was for from over for some of the occupants of the infirmary. Carson wished there was something he could do to help them, but at the moment, he felt more useless than he had in a long time.

He pulled up a chair and settled next to Major Sheppard's bed. So close to the injured man, the presence of respirator and monitors overshadowing the motionless man betrayed the notion of quiet rest. Even without the stark reminder, Carson was aware of how serious the major's condition was. He had seen for himself on the planet. Although he didn't know the outcome of any tests that Dr. Biro might have ordered, he suspected that the prognosis wasn't very good. All they could really do was wait and hope that the remedy Teyla had told them about would arrive in time, but the chances of that were slim. Sheppard had declined to fast for that. Carson sighed. He wasn't too good at the hoping and waiting part of his profession, although it was often the last resort.

Carson reached for Sheppard's hand and squeezed it, before getting back up. There was nothing he could do. He felt tired and helpless, but before he went back to bed, he wanted to see if he could find Dr. Biro to find out about the major's condition.

When he had already turned his back, a bright light from the side of his eye caught his attention and he whirled around. There was a cloud of bright light at the foot of Sheppard's bed. In front of his eyes, the cloud transformed itself into the figure of the major. The man standing in front of him smiled. He was wearing jeans and a black t-shirt and looked just like his real counter-part, but there was a strange trans-lucence to him.

Carson didn't know what to do.

„Carson?" The apparition asked. „Remember me? From earlier in the Puddle Jumper? Thanks for getting us home in one piece." The man said to him.

„What's going on?" Carson asked, stunned by what was happening. He still wasn't sure he could believe his eyes. What was happening could not be explained by what he knew.

„Listen. I dropped by to tell you something. I know what you are trying to do. But you have to recall the team from Athos. They are going to run into the Wraith there. Maybe you can still catch them before it is too late."

„What about you and Teyla? You are going to die without the plant from Athos."

„Not if you put us in stasis. You'll have time to search for the plant. Please, it's the only way."

„We can do that." Carson agreed." but stasis won't keep you alive forever. You're condition will continue to worsen even while you are in stasis. It will only give you some more time. If you are too weak, you won't withstand the revival process." Carson informed him.

„That's all right. There is no other way. But please recall the team from Athos. They stand no chance against the Wraith there."

„I'll tell Dr. Weir." Carson nodded, still not sure whether to believe his eyes. The man in front of him looked and sounded too much like John Sheppard to be just an illusion. He couldn't have hit his head this hard!

Suddenly, the apparition flickered and for a moment, the image of Sheppard disappeared.

„I have to go. Please, tell Elisabeth to recall the team. There is plenty of time to find the plant later if you put us in stasis." With those words, the figure disappeared from the major's bedside.

Carson rubbed his eyes. He doubted he had imaged it all. Now for the second time, he had seen the major appear like that. The only explanation he could think of, was that it had something to do with the Major's Ancient heritage. The Ancient had mastered the transition into a state of pure energy. It was possible that Sheppard was genetically capable of the same.

oOo

"Get up." The guard yanked Carson on the arm. Carson impassively got to his feet, not registering a change in expression.

"Hurry up. The truck is leaving for the mines. If you want to eat today you better get on irt. Behind those barraxcks, no hurry up."

Carson made no sign of moving. The guared looked like ghe was about to lose his patience so John grabbed Carson by the arm and dragged Carson in the direction the guard had indicated.

The ride to the mine was uncomfotable. John and Carson sat with about twenty other men in the back of a truck. The drive let up a curvy road uphill. Deprived of his watch, John could only estimade how long they were travelling, but after about three hours, the truck stopped. John follewed the example of the other men, leaving the truck. He kept Carson close to himself. Carson didn't seem well and he was worried about him. He could only speculate that it had to do with his drug addiction. In Atlantis he had had easy acces thanks to Elizabeth. John was sure that there were drugs circulating in the prison camp. He had to keep an eye on Carson if he wanted to keep them out of trouble. The best strategy at the moment seemed to be keeping a low profile and waiting for their oppurtunity. Carson's weapon was about the only thing they had in their favour. John could only hope Carson had the sense not the trade the weapon for drugs. The sooner he got his hands on the weapon, the better.

The ground outside the mines was covered in a thin layer of snow. Although it had been quite cool down at the main camp site, they had to have gained altitude to account for the drop in temperature. The cold was immediatly working its way through the thin fabric of John's clothes. Some of the prisoners were dressed in thick jackets and leather boots, but most of them were wearing linen tunics like himself.

A second truck pulled up on the plateau and another group of men climbed down. Some seemed little more than boys. Four guards had accompanied the prisoners to the mine and herded the men down underground. John stuck to Carson on their ride down the shaft through the rock and as they were led into a low corridor. Ther group of ten workers were chained together at the feet. Their task was to mine for crystals in the black rock of the walls. The work was hard on the

muscles, a day's work comsisted of ten hours of swinging a pick at a wall of solid rock while being carefull not to damage any crystals. John eyed

Carson frequently during the long hours. Carson was working slow, but steadily. He still wore the same absent epression on his face and even in pale light of the gase lamps, John could see that he was pale and sweating, despite the freezing temperature.

oOo

It was dark on the other side of the Gate. Ideally they would have waited until the sun rose on Athos, but the situation didn't allow for such luxury. They Gate was located in a wooded area. While the Athosian had lived on the planet, a path had been cleared from the Gate to the main settlement. Now that the planet had been abandoned for more than nine months, the path had been overgrown by vegetation. While the plants hindered their progress, the overtaking of nature was an indication that the planet had since been abandoned and that nobody had settled there after the Athosians. Halling headed up the group, clearing the path with a machete, Radek took the middle, and Bates brought up the rear. Vision was extremely limited, but so far they had not spotted any sigh of civilisation on Athos.

Halling had told them that the site were the medicinal plant was grown was about one hours march from the Gate. They had briefly considered taking the Jumper, as that would have been faster, but the difficult terrain would have forced them to land quite far away, as the plant grew on the north side of a mountain, where it would be impossible to land. The Gate on Athos was at fairly high altitude, so they would not have to climb that much, but they would have to make their way through the forest to the north face of the mountain.

Radek was the first to spot it on his scanner, but before he could say a word, they already hear the hum over their heads. The mechanical howl of a Wraith Dart cut through the night as the enemy flew over them. They knew they were not alone on the planet.

Radek froze and nearly dropped his scanner. This was his worst nightmare come to life.

Halling turned around to face to others.

„Let's split up. We will have better chances when we are separate."

„We stay together." Bates hissed, but Halling had already ducked away between the tress. In the sky, the howl of the Dart was coming closer again for a second pass.

„What now?" Radek was trying not to panic.

„We pursue our original objective, but we try to keep in the underbrush. Less chance of being detected. Can you keep track of them with your scanner?"

„Yes, but won't they be able to scan for us as well? The trees won't help us then."

„I don't know Zelenka. Halling seems to think they help. He has to know. Come on." Bates pulled him by the sleeve towards the thick underbrush.

For what seemed like an eternity, they ran through a thicket of trees and bushes. Radek tried hard to keep up, but seen his lungs and legs started to hurts and the back pack ground into his shoulders. On and off the noise from the Dart or Darts, Radek was sure there were several, but didn't have time to check on his scanner, howled over the forest as he ran for his life.

Suddenly, his foot caught in something, a root probably and he slammed face first into the ground. He lost the grip on the scanner and for a moment the world turned black. When he drew a gasping breath, his ribs hurt and he had lost his glasses somewhere on the ground and without glasses searching for them would be pointless. He struggled to his feet and noticed that it was quiet again. The forest was dark, but the howling of the Darts had disappeared. Radek rubbed his forehead and encountered a sticky substance. Surprised he drew his hand back and smelled at it. Indeed, he smelled the fait coppery smell of blood. Maybe he had been out longer than he had thought. It had seemed like it had been only a second. Why had the Wraith not found him? Where were Halling and Sergeant Bates? Radek remembered his comm. unit and started feeling for it. He had lost his earpiece. It was probably somewhere on the ground. With his scanner also lost, he didn't have any idea where to go.

oOo

"You realise that this is good bye?" Chaya asked with a sad smile.

"Yes, I do. I would not have had it any other way. I can't stay, you know that."

"I know that you are one of us John and one day, you will join us."

"Perhaps. But you have taught me that time has no meaning for us, perhaps I will return, but now isn't my time. I belong with my friends, Chaya."

"You realise that you may still die."

"I have no other choice. I knew this was my punishment for interfering."


	20. Seen

_The day had seemed endless to John. By the siren announced the end of the work day, his arms, shoulders and upper back ached deeply. His hands were trembling from exhaustion. He wasn't even hungry; all he wanted to do was shower and sleep. He had kept an eye on Carson the whole day. John was used to physical exertion, but Carson didn't have the training, nor the experience. John had kept pushing some of the crystals he had mined, over to Carson. As a result, they both had rather few crystals to show at the end of the day. A tired looking guard unchained them from the wall and herded them back to the surface._

_Back in the main camp, John and Carson found that most of the prisoners had already eaten. It was up to the guards, who got on the first truck back and who got on the last. The alien oatmeal they had had the previous night, was already out when they came back. The late-comers had to make due with soup and dry bread. The soup tasted better than the oatmeal, but what counted in their situation wasn't the taste, but the calories. John didn't plan on sticking around until he starved, but I didn't know when the opportunity to escape would present itself._

_In the rush to get something to eat, he had lost sight of Carson. He had successfully scored an extra piece of bread and then went looking for Carson. The prisoners had a free hour after the evening meal. John started to search the camp for Carson. He finally found him lying on his cot. John couldn't tell whether it was the strain from the hard labour, or the withdrawal from whatever drugs Carson had taking back on Atlantis, Carson didn't look good all. He was sleeping an unrestful sleep, tossing and turning, mumbling words and half-sentences. John sat down on his cot next to Carson's. He was worried about the other man. He wasn't the Carson that he knew, but he had saved his life back on Atlantis. John had grown attached to him. But still, his trust on Carson only went so far. Carson was a drug addict and had betrayed Atlantis to their worst enemies. John carefully grabbed Carson by the shoulder and turned him on his side. Carson muttered something John didn't understand, but didn't wake up. John pulled back Carson's tunic, looking for the knife. He would feel better if he had the knife. The prison tunics were wide and fell in folds, making it easy to hide something. John found the knife and hid it in his own tunic. Carson would probably be furies when he found out, but John didn't care. As long as they got out of this place, he didn't care, even if he had to drag Carson along._

oOo

Radek Zelenka was lost and confused. He was in the middle of a forest on an alien world, without his glasses and his radio. He had tried to find the latter items, for what had seemed like ages, he had crawled on the ground, exploring with his hands, as it was too dark to see and his vision was too weak without glasses. But aside from cuts to his hands, he had nothing to show for his efforts. Five minutes ago, it had started to rain, on top of it all. Not just rain, the sky had opened and a veritable downpour had started. Now, Radek was drenched, his pack weighed at least a ton and he was lost. At least, he could no loner hear the howling noise of the Wraith Darts flying overhead. He opened it wasn't because the Wraith had captured the rest of the team. Ideally, they had found the Therasia plant and were their way back to Atlantis. He was pretty sure, that they weren't going to delay the mission to search for him. Lives were on the line and the planet was crawling with Wraith. Radek was surprised they hadn't found him yet.

Radek had an idea. He put down his pack and started rummaging through it. He pulled out a flashlight and a power bar. He turned on the flashlight and swept the ground around himself. The scanner, his radio and glasses had to be somewhere. Now, Radek could see that he had apparently fallen down about three feet. He had been lucky that he hadn't broken anything. He started to climb the incline back up. It was easier said than done. The downpour had turned the ground wet and slippery making it near impossible to gain purchase on the steep incline. Eventually, Radek made his way up. He was drenched, covered in mud and his head hurt worse than before. But when he spotted his scanner, all the effort had been worth it. Radek anxiously picked it up, hoping that it hadn't been damaged in the fall.

For a moment, he thought his worst fears had come true, when the display of the scanner remained dark, but then, it lit up again. The joy of finding the scanner didn't last long, because seconds after he had picked it up, the mechanical howl announced a Dart making a pass over the forest.

Radek slammed down on the ground, not sure if that was going to help. Less than twenty feet away, he saw a blue transporters beam sweep of forest floor. He could only hope that he wasn't caught in the next beam.

oOo

Carson didn't bother to get dressed. He grabbed a bathrobe from the infirmary's stack and then made his way to Elizabeth's office. He could have called her on the radio, but he doubted the she would believe him. In fact, he wasn't sure she would believe him in person. He had no idea how to explain what he knew. Telling Elizabeth the truth didn't seem like a very good idea, but Carson didn't have any better idea at the moment.

He ignored the looks as he made his way through the control room dressed the way he was and knocked on the door to Elizabeth's office. She answered, and he stepped in.

"Dr. Beckett, shouldn't you be in the infirmary?" Elizabeth asked and got up.

"I know, but there is something that cannot wait." Carson said and closed the door. He sat down, glad to be off his feet. "You have to recall the team from Athos."

"I'm not sure I'm hearing this right." Elizabeth said. "Recovering the plant from Athos is the only thing that can save Teyla and the major. You confirmed this yourself."

"I know and this is true. But Athos is a trapped. The Wraith have set up camp there. The team doesn't stand a chance there. Maybe it is not too late to warn them. We will find the plant somewhere else, but we will only lose more people on Athos." Carson pleaded.

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow. "And how to you know this, Dr. Beckett?"

"I don't think you will believe this." Carson said evasively.

"Try me. This one I want to hear."

Carson shifted in his seat nervously. "John told me."

"John as in Major Sheppard. I thought he was still being evaluated. I wasn't aware that he is conscious."

"He isn't." Carson admitted. "I'm not sure what to call it. You could say it was a vision."

"Let me get this straight. Major Sheppard appeared to you in a vision and told you to tell me to recall the team from Athos." Elizabeth wasn't sure whether she should laugh or cry.

"Something like that." Carson mumbled. "It wasn't the first time, though."

"He has appeared to you before?" Elizabeth couldn't believe it.

"Once, on the planet where his team had crashed." Carson had a feeling that things were not going well.

"I don't believe it." Elizabeth closed her eyes. "I need a stiff drink."

"Please, Dr. Weir, it is urgent."

"I suppose it can't hurt to check in with Sergeant Bates." Elizabeth agreed. "But you belong back in the infirmary."

Carson nodded.

"You know that if you are right, I can't risk any more men on this, Sergeant Bates and his team are on their own."

"I know. I should talk with one of the engineers who have studied the stasis chambers we found in the City. We might need them for Teyla and the major." Carson said.

"Let one of your staff do that." Elizabeth said, but she knew that Carson would want to be there. "Are you sure that is what they would want? It might be a long time before we find the cure."

"I can talk to Teyla, she should be lucid. For John, we will have to make the decision."

Elizabeth sighed. It would be an impossible choice.

"How long do have before we have to decide?"

"The sooner the better. The better his condition when we place him into stasis the better his chances to survive the revival process."

"All right. I will make the call. Send Dr. Biro to my office."

oOo

Elizabeth stepped out into the control room.

"Dr. Grodin, dial Athos and call Sergeant Bates on his radio." Elizabeth ordered.

The Gate seemed to dial at a crawling pace. Finally, they had opened the Gate to Athos.

"Sergeant Bates, please come in." Dr. Grodin asked. Static was the only reply. "Sergeant Bates, please come in." They received no reply.

"Try the rest of the team." Elizabeth ordered. She had the sinking feeling that Carson had been right. She might have sent three men to die.

Neither Radek nor Halling replied. Elizabeth left Grodin with instructions to retry every half hour for the next six hours. She wasn't sure what she was going to do after that. Sending more men wasn't an option. All she could do was wait. Elizabeth went back to her office. There was something else that she had to take care off and that she had avoided ever since the teams had come back.

Rodney had not returned with the team and from what she had been able to piece together from what Teyla and Ford had told Carson, they had lost him on some nameless alien planet, days ago. She hated to think it, but Rodney wasn't coming back. While she waited for Dr. Biro, she could as well take care of another dreaded task.

oOo

Carson sat down in the chair next to Teyla's bed. She was lying on her side, eyes closed. Her pained expression told Carson that she was awake. Sleep would have been a blessing right now. Teyla was faring far better than the major; she had only been subjected to a small dosage of the Wraith toxin. But she knew what was coming, and the burden of the knowledge was weighing down on her.

"Teyla?" Carson whispered softly.

Teyla opened her eyes, but the lack of focus told Carson that she was still blind.

"Dr. Beckett?" Teyla asked, closing her eyes again.

"Yes, it's me."

"I still cannot see." Teyla tried to hide it, but Carson could sense the fear in her voice. Teyla had grown up strong and independent, losing her sight would mean losing her independence.

"I know. But it's most likely temporary. Your vision should start to return in the 48 hours. Don't worry." Carson squeezed her hand. "Are you in pain, Teyla?" Car

"A little." She admitted. "But it is all right."

"I have been talking to Dr. Weir. There have been problems with the mission to Athos." Carson explained.

"I don't understand." Teyla was confused.

"Sergeant Bates, Halling and Dr. Zelenka went to Athos to retrieve the Therasia plant, to help you and Major Sheppard. But now we can't reach them, we think they may have run into the Wraith." Carson was honest with Teyla.

"It will be too late for Major Sheppard."

"I'm thinking of both of you right now. I have a proposal that will buy you some time. I want you to listen to me and let me know what you think about it. You can take your time. No matter what you decided, we're all going to be with you all the way." Carson reassured her. He knew the decision wouldn't come easy for her. He didn't know what he would do faced with the same dilemma.

"What are you suggesting?"

"We found a few stasis pods in the City. Dr. Zelenka and the other engineers have checked them out and are sure that they are fully functional. By placing you and the major in stasis, we will have enough time to find the plant and manufacture the cure. But, I have to tell you, that it could take a while, until we find the plant on another planet."

TBC


	21. Abandonned

_The next morning, John woke up freezing and aching everywhere. The siren made his ears ring and he struggled to sit up, rubbing his face. All around him, men got out of their beds, hurrying outside. John's muscles were protesting against the abuse from the previous day. He turned to look for Carson and saw that he managed to sleep through the deafening siren. John grabbed Carson by the shoulder, and shook him._

_"Carson, wake up. We have to hurry or there won't be any food left." At first Carson didn't react, but when John shook him more forcefully, he finally opened his eyes._

_"Major...?"_

_"It's just John these days. Are you okay!_

_Carson frowned. "I feel like I got my head bashed in."_

_John helped him to sit up. He didn't say anything, but Carson's body seemed awfully hot. He was worried that his friend was running a fever._

_"Can you get up?" John asked Carson, seeing that they were the last ones left in their barrack._

_"I assume this is a rhetorical question?" Carson shot back, and made to swing his legs over the side of the cot. He tried to get up, but his legs wouldn't take the weight. Only with John's support, Carson was able to stand. Carson hadn't complained, but John could see the sweat on the other man's forehead and felt the rapid breaths Carson was taking, after the effort of getting up._

_"Come on. Maybe there is some yummy oatmeal left for us." John encouraged Carson as they made their way towards the door of the barrack._

_It was a stunningly beautiful morning in the Ristia Mountain Camp, but none if its inhabitant had eyes for it. _

_A cue of prisoners was waiting at a water pump for an opportunity to wash themselves. Showers were a rare opportunity, usually, a water pump and a bucket had to suffice. Most of the prisoner had already collected their breakfast, so the cue at the kitchen tent was small. John would have spared Carson the effort of standing in line, but they only way they'd get two portion's, was if two people stood in line. _

_Still, they only scored small, slightly burned pieces of oil dunked bread. It tasted of ash, but it was food._

_John sat down next to Carson against the wall of one of the barracks. While John chewed his breakfast, he considered his options. Carson wasn't doing too well. He had to get him help. He wouldn't last long in the crystal mines._

oOo

John swung his pick against the rock for what felt like the thousandth time. The work was so much harder than the day before, now that his muscles were sore. Carson was hardly able to stay on his feet, much less swing a pick against a wall of solid rock. So far, they had been lucky and no guard had shown up in their section of the tunnel. Their foot chains were hooked into rings in the wall, making an escape impossible. John had considered, trying to free the ring from the wall. But he would still be chained to nineteen other prisoners.

When John heard footsteps echoing from the distance, he nudge against Carson, who was sitting down, leaning against the wall.

"Carson, get up, a guard is coming."

"Mmm." Carson mumbled, but got to his feet.

The footsteps came closer.

"Just try to pretend like you are working." John whispered to Carson.

The footsteps approached them and then stopped.

"What have you two been doing all day?" A voice asked behind John. John turned to see one of the guards inspecting the bucket with the crystals he had mined so far. Having given half of them to Carson, he didn't have much to show for half a day's work.

"You work like women twice your age." The guard sneered. "What is with you?" he turned to Carson.

"You look strong. but you can hardly stand. The likes of you wouldn't even be able to earn your own keep."

"He's ill." John defended Carson. "He needs a doctor."

"He doesn't need a doctor." The guard laughed. "He is an iliatinsin. They don't last long, they never do."

"Iliatinsin?"

"You are really not from this world, are you? He is addicted to iliatin. Now he can't live without it."

John's heart sank.

oOo

Radek ran. When the last Wraith transport beam had only missing him by mere feet, he had gotten up and started to run. He wasn't sure that he was running in the right direction, but any direction that got him away from the Wraith was the right direction in his mind. The uneven ground made his going difficult and he nearly fell several times. It was still raining, making the ground muddy and slippery. He could still hear to the Darts overhead. Another transport beam swept the ground near Radek. The forest had been thinning and the terrain had gotten rockier. Radek had lost all sense of time, the only thing he knew was that he couldn't keep on running forever.

Radek nearly plunged down a good hundred feet when the forest ended in a sudden cliff. Radek froze at the sight of the structure at the bottom of the cliff. The dark grey structure looked almost organic in the way it sprawled out with tentacle like arms. Before his eyes, a Dart rose from the installation. He was looking down on a Wraith base. He glanced down on his scanner and began to frantically punch buttons. Energy readings, life signs, nothing showed on his scanner. The Wraith had to somehow shield their base from his scans while it remained visible.

A noise behind him startled Radek. He whirled around. Somewhere between the tress something was moving. Radek reached for the gun Sergeant Bates had insisted he carry. He had never fired a gun at a living being before, he had only practised at the range and unfortunately, he was not a good shot at all. He hands were trembling as he held the gun ready. He didn't dare to turn on the flashlight, because, while it might help him make out who was sneaking around between the trees, it would also give away his position. Assuming that hadn't happened already.

Radek scanned the tree line. He could swear he had seen something move, but he couldn't hear anything. He wished he had his glasses. The life signs detector was coming up empty, but after it had failed to give him a read on the Wraith stronghold, Radek wasn't sure whether the Wraith had found a way to evade the scanner or the scanner had been damaged in the fall.

There it was again. A rustling noise close by. Like someone was walking through the underbrush. Radek squinted at the distance. The rain had lightened, but it didn't make it any easier to see. The noise of the Darts was coming back in his direction. The light of the transport beams was lighting up the forest in the distance. The noise of the Darts was drowning out all other sounds, and when Radek saw them it was already too late to run. A group of three Wraith on floor had emerged from the forest. Time seemed to have slowed down as they were closing in on him, cutting of all routes of escape. Radek instinctively backed away as the Wraith came closer. He remembered his gun and started firing at one of them, but he just smiled and kept coming at him. Radek took another step back, and stepped into nothing as he fell of the edge of the cliff.

oOo

Elizabeth closed Rodney's file. He had left precise instructions for the case of his death. The decision to declare Rodney officially dead had not come easy, but it was the only reasonable thing to do when she looked at the facts. He wasn't coming back. The sooner she reassigned his position in the science team, the sooner they could back to normal operation. She hated to think of Rodney as replaceable and in many ways he wasn't. His genius was unique, even amongst the many brilliant mind of the expedition. But they had to look towards the future and every day counted in the fight against the Wraith. Among the documents that Rodney had left on file were extensive notes on his work and also recommendations for a new head of the science department. He strongly recommended Dr. Zelenka for the post. Elizabeth now regretted having sent Zelenka on the mission with Bates. In the light of the developments, there was the distinct possibility that the team was lost and she would have yet to appoint another scientist as chief of the science department. As for Rodney's notes on his work on the Ancient database and various artefacts, she had only sifted through the numerous pages. Someone from the science department would have to sight the notes. Elizabeth had already called for Drs. Kavanaugh and Jamison to take care of the task at hand. She was awaiting them every minute. Dr. Biro had contacted her and let her know that she was still assessing Major Sheppard and would let her know as soon as she had all the test results.

When Kavanaugh and Jamison arrived, they looked tense and tired. Elizabeth knew the strain the science team was under without McKay and Zelenka.

"Please sit down. I have to talk to you both. I'm afraid the occasion isn't a pleasant one. Dr. McKay was killed in action on his last mission. I'm going to make the official announcement later today."

Both scientists nodded.

"Dr. McKay left extensive notes on his work. I want you to go through them and see if any projects should be pursued further. Dr. Kavanaugh, you are in charge of assigning them to the rest of the staff. I realize that the science is short staffed at the moment. I want you to prioritize any ongoing research and put those projects on hold that don't have an application related to protection of Atlantis. I'm going to trust your judgment in this matter.

"But..." Dr. Kavanaugh started to protest.

"I realize that we came here to explore, but the reality is that we have limited resource and that the Wraith are a threat to our very survival. We need to prioritize our research the same we set prioritize when choosing planets for our missions."

"Who is going to be in charge of the science department?" Dr. Jamison asked.

"I'm putting you both in charged and I expect you to work as a team."

There was a rap on the door.

"Yes?"

It was Dr. Grodin.

"Dr. Weir. It's Halling. He is back from Athos."

oOo

"My people don't have the advances of your healers." Teyla said, her face turned towards Carson. "We don't have the means to prolong life."

"You don't have to decide now." Carson said, taking her hand in his. "There is still time."

Carson heard footsteps behind him. He turned out and saw Elizabeth approaching.

"I thought I told you to go back to bed." She pointed out.

"Dr. Weir?" Teyla asked.

"Yes, Teyla, it's me." Elizabeth approached the bed. "I have good news. Halling just came back. He managed to evade the Wraith on Athos. He brought back the plant. Dr. Muir is working on the cure right now. She estimates that it will be ready in about six hours. You are going to be fine, Teyla." Elizabeth reassured her.

Teyla smiled briefly, and then she frowned.

"What about the others that went to Athos?"

"We haven't heard from them yet. But I don't want you worrying about them now. Just hang on a little longer."

TBC


	22. Suspended

Radek was dead. He had realized it in the split second he had stepped over the ledge. It was a hundred foot drop, guaranteed to be fatal. He was waiting for the impact to end it all, but it never came.

oOo

Carson and Elizabeth had gone into Carson's office after Elizabeth had brought them the good news.

"What is it, Dr. Weir?" Carson asked after they had sat down.

"How is Teyla doing?"

"She is holding up fine. Her system hasn't been overly compromised by the Wraith toxin yet. For the moment, infection is our biggest worry. Especially animal bites are very prone to infection. We came late in the game and alien pathogens can be tricky." Carson explained.

"What about her vision? Are you sure that it is temporary?"

"Almost certain. The MRI came back clean and we haven't found any ocular damage. The next two days should clear up the issue."

"That's good to hear. I'm still waiting for Dr. Biro's report on Major Sheppard." Elizabeth said. "I also wanted to talk to you about Rodney."

"I understand. According to Teyla and Ford, he fell into a river."

"Exactly. Under the circumstances, I have no choice, but to declare him dead."

"Already?" Carson asked.

"I know it seems soon, but do you honestly think that Rodney is still alive?"

Carson shook his head. "It just is so difficult to imagine that he is dead. He is just gone."

"Rodney didn't have many friends, but I know that you two were good friends."

"Yes, we got along. It sounds strange. Rodney was arrogant and rude, but he had a good heart." Carson considered.

"Someone needs to go through Rodney's quarters. Pack up his personal belongings to send back to Earth once we have the opportunity. The rest should into storage. I want you to do this. Take your time, you still need to rest." Elizabeth said.

"I will take care of it." Carson promised. "Did Rodney leave any instructions?"

"Mostly about his work. I have someone from the science team taking care of it."

oOo

Radek opened his eyes and saw nothing but blackness. He blinked, but nothing changed. For a moment he was confused, then it came back to him in a rush. The Wraith, the cliff, he had stepped over the ledge, a hundred foot drop. He couldn't still be alive. Radek tried to tentatively move his hand, but found his movements restrained by something above him. He tried again with more force. This time something tore and his hand hit a hard surface about twenty inches further above. Radek was curious now. He seemed uninjured, but trapped somewhere. After a fall from the cliff, he should have broken all his bones, he wasn't in any pain. He freed his second hand and felt for the ceiling. It was cold and smooth, but he could detect a slight vibration. As he felt the material that had covered his hands, he found it sticky and fibrous. Slowly a terrible reality started to dawn on him. It couldn't be, could it? The Wraith base had been directly below him and there had been a Dart in the area. What were the chances? Infinitesimal, his mind told him. But the fact that he wasn't dead and that this was probably not the afterlife he didn't believe in, made the improbable look a lot more probable.

That left one more important question. Radek felt for his face. Once he had freed it of the webbed material, he tried to feel for signs of aging, but he couldn't feel any. He couldn't be sure, but he didn't think he had been feed upon. Although that was just of question of time until that happened. He had no idea whether he was supposed to be awake or not. He only knew that he had to get away.

Using his hands, he felt for the back wall of the space he was trapped in and tried to push himself forward. He managed to slide a few inches. The back wall was now out of his reach. The space was very narrow, making it hard to but down his hand next to him to leverage himself towards the opening. Radek suddenly wished he had joined Sergeant Bates' fitness programme.

It was hard work, but slowly, he was gaining ground. His arms were trembling and he was sweating by the time he had pushed himself out of the storage space. Radek dropped to the ground, glad to be on his feet again. The room was dark and luckily aside from storage spaces empty. Radek leaned against the wall to catch his breath and plan his next move. He was bound to run into a Wraith sooner or later if he left the room, but staying in here was not an option. He had lost his handgun, either in the fall, or the Wraith had taken it.

oOo

_The guard eyed John and Carson, trying to decide what to do with them. While he was thinking, a second guard approached from the other side of the tunnel._

_"Saron, what's going on here?" He asked._

_"I found these two prisoners slacking at work, sir." The guard John and Carson had been talking two answered his superior._

_"Don't worry about it. They will have a chance to earn their day's rations." The second guard smiled. John didn't like the turn the situation had taken. The first guard had seemed sympathetic enough to their situation, but his superior had an unpleasant streak._

_"Cut them lose. I'll take them." He ordered. The junior guard freed their chains from the hooks in the wall and the chains of the other prisoners. John couldn't help but notice that their prospects of escape had just improved dramatically. Instead of being chained to a whole group, now he was only chained to Carson._

_"Come." The superior guard gave him a shove in the back. John reached to support Carson and they followed the guard. They made their way to the elevator cage, rode up to the surface and exited the tunnel. The guards at the front of the mine saluted as they passed. As they passed behind one of trucks, John signalled Carson to be silent and pulled out the knife. Carson shot him an angry look, but said nothing._

_In a swift move, John grabbed the guard from behind and pressed the blade against his neck, while reaching for his gun in the same move._

_"Don't make any noise. I won't hesitate to kill you if you do." John whispered to the guard. The guard nodded, pure fear on his face. John handed the gun to Carson._

_"The keys?" John demanded._

_"My pocket..." The guard answered._

_John grabbed the bunch of keys._

_"Unlock the chains." He told Carson. Carson looked awfully grey, but he did as John had asked._

_"The keys for the truck?"_

_"You have them. Please..." The guard pleaded._

_Before he could finish the sentence, John stabbed the guard in the neck and laid him down on the ground._

_"Open the truck. We are getting out of here." John motioned to Carson. Carson unlocked the door of the nearest truck and they climbed in._

_They pulled out of the lot by the mine seconds later._

_They were in the winding road down the mountain when Carson looked over the John.  
_

_"I didn't think you had it in you." He commented._

_"What do you mean?" John asked, but he suspected what this was all about. He was surprised himself how easily he had stabbed the guard. Maybe he was just adapting to his environment. He thought back to Atlantis. Bates and the marines who had shot Rodney, Elizabeth who had ordered him to be hanged, Carson who had betrayed Atlantis to the Yularans, the Yularans who had double-crossed Carson._

_"You know what I mean." Carson said. "Don't take the road back to the camp. They might be expecting us already."_

_"Not to point out the obvious, but there is no other road and I don't think this is on off-road vehicle." John didn't even think that the truck was an on-road vehicle considering how it was shaking on the uneven road as they were pushing the engines at maximum speed. He could read none of the indicators, but it didn't seem to be going very fast._

_"I don't think it matters what the vehicle was intended for." Carson said, sounding breathless. "We should be at the bottom of the mountain soon, then we can head off to the side."_

_John didn't tell Carson all the reasons why this was a very bad idea. He didn't have any good ideas. They couldn't go back to the camp; they had just killed a guard. Heading off into the wilderness with nothing more than a gun and a knife didn't seem like a better plan. He had no idea where they would get the drug Carson needed. _

oOo

Carson sat down on Rodney's bed. He had come down to Rodney's quarters a good twenty minutes ago, but he hadn't been able to bring himself to get started on boxing up Rodney's things. Being in Rodney's room made it even harder to think of Rodney as dead. A week ago, he had been alive and now he was gone. Not knowing for certain what had happened to Rodney would always leave way for doubts and questions. But Elizabeth was right, Rodney was dead and he had to get used to that thought.

Carson got up and started taking down the pictures and diplomas from the wall, piling them neatly on the desk. These could go back to Rodney's family on Earth. Rodney never said much about his family, Carson only knew so much that he had never gotten along with his parents and that he had a younger sister. The way he had talked about her, he seemed to have a better understanding with her. Elizabeth hadn't said, but maybe she should get his belongings. If they ever got the chance to send anything back to Earth. Carson sighed and put the pile into the first box.

Three hours later, he had filled one box with Rodney's personal belongings, and two boxes for items to be stored. The only things left in the room where things Carson had thought the science department should take care of; a few artefacts, Rodney's laptop and a pile of notes. Rodney's existence on Atlantis sorted into piles, ready to be put into storage. The box with Rodney's personal belongings was small. Diplomas, some photographs and a few old letters. Everyone had only been able to bring few personal belongings, but Rodney had brought even less than most. He had lived for his work. In the years he had known Rodney, Carson had never seen him at the pursuit of any hobbies. Rodney didn't read novels, listen to music and before coming to Atlantis, didn't work out. Atlantis had done Rodney good, in more ways than one. But Rodney's death reminded Carson once more of what awaited them in the Pegasus galaxy. Sometimes he wished he had never come.

oOo

_They had to abandon the truck about two miles into the terrain when they reached a forest. Before getting out, John raided the glove box, finding two sandwiches and a bottle of water. Being hungry, they decided to eat immediately. John kept the water, handed Carson the knife and hid the gun in his tunic._

_"Let's go. They'll follow our tracks and find the truck here, but I'm sure we will lose them in the forest." John said and helped Carson to his feet._

_"Okay." Carson said and nodded. They started into the woods. The going was slow. Carson was not in good shape and John could hear the guard's words clearly in his mind. Carson couldn't live without the drug. Maybe they should have stayed in the camp. There were probably drugs going around there, John would be surprised if not. Out here, they were on their own and they wouldn't cover much ground until nightfall. The escape hadn't been such a good idea. John was fairly sure that they would survive the night in the woods, but what then. They couldn't stay out there forever._

_They were resting, leaning against the trunk of a huge tree. Carson hadn't said a word in a long time, when he suddenly asked a question._

_"Do you miss them?" He asked softly._

_John knew who he meant. "Yes. I do. I miss the City." He meant it in more ways than one._

_"Thank for earlier." Carson said simply._

_John thought he hadn't done them much of a favour._

_"But..."_

_Carson weakly raised a hand._

_"It's good to be free again."_

_John realized that Carson knew that they were never going to make it off this planet, maybe never out of these woods. But they were free men, that was the point._

_TBC_


	23. Celebrated

Armed with nothing but his wits, Radek pressed the door release, praying that the room wasn't being guarded by a Wraith. It seemed to be his lucky day, in a perverse ironic way. The coast was clear. The corridor was dimly lit. Carefully listening for any sound of approaching Wraith, Radek sneaked out into the corridor. Corridors were branching off to the left and right. Too bad he didn't have a map of the compound. He could be walking into Wraith Central and not even knowing it. Some sort of emergency exit would be fine. Did the Wraith have regulation fire exits? Radek had his doubts about that as he inched forwards.

He had walked undisturbed for maybe five minutes when he heard muted voices and footsteps. Deciding that they came from straight ahead, Radek duck out of the way in a corridor branching off to the side. He pressed himself to the wall, hoping fervently not to be seen. Two Wraith passed without taking note of him. Radek had tried to listen to what they had been saying, buthad only been able to make out fractions. Something about 'experiments' and 'scouting the area'. He didn't like what he had heard. If they where still searching the planet, there was a chance that the rest of his team mates hadn't made it back to Atlantis either. Not just for them, Radek wished that at least one of them had successfully finished the mission. Sheppard and Teyla depended on them and he on his part had failed them from the start.

Figuring the Wraith must have come from some source of information, Radek went in the direction they had come from. It turned out he had guessed right. The corridor led to a round room. Radek couldn't believe his luck, the room was empty. He went in and activated the door mechanism to lock the door; at least he thought he was locking the door.

At closer inspection, the room turned out to be some sort of observatory, but insteadof allowing one to look at the constellations in the sky, this observatory allowed keeping an eye on the planet. The ceiling and walls served as a looking glass on the planet's surface. Radek could see the Gate. By now, two Wraith had taken position by it. He saw the forest in which he and Bates had gotten separated. In total three Darts were roaming over the forest. So they didn't have Bates and Halling yet, Radek noted with relief. Whatever technology allowed them to generate this map must not allow them to locate the humans from a distance.

Radek heard the whoosh of the door opening too late. He barely had the chance to turn around when the stunner blast caught him mid-torso. Without being able to say another word, Radek dropped face first to the floor. Oblivion swallowed him before he hit the ground.

oOo

Something was wrong, everything was moving. Radek opened his eyes and saw the ceiling moving by. He closed his eyes again as the image made his head spin even worse. He wanted to protest, but the commands from his brain never reached his body. He couldn't move, couldn't speak...ah, Wraith stunner. The memory came back quickly. This was bad, so very bad. God only knew the Wraith were dragging him know. He opened his eyes again, but could only see the ceiling. Frustrated he closed his eyes. Stunner blast weren't permanently damaging, Rodney had complained enough about the time he had had the receiving end of one, for him to know, but it would take a few hours for the effects to wear off enough to even think about escaping.

The dragging stopped, Zelenka opened his eyes again and was just in time to see a huge Wraith grab him by the shoulders and throw him into a prison cell. Having no feeling in most of his body came at an advantage when Radek crashed to the floor in the cell. Now all he could do was wait. He doubted the Wraith were done with him already.

"Dr. Zelenka?" Someone whispered behind him. Radek struggled to turn around, his body still largely incompliant. Suddenly to hands helped him and he was propped up against side wall of the prison cell. The helping hands belonged to Sergeant Bates. So much for his hopes that the others had fared better.

"Halling?" Radek managed to ask-

"He isn't here." Bates answered. "You okay?"

Zelenka nodded. "Just got hit by Stunner." Talking was still an effort as his body was unco-operative. He didn't mention that the Wraith had probably saved his life when he had fallen off the cliff. Had the Dart not caught him, his shattered body would be lying somewhere on the body of that cliff now.

"What do they want?" Radek asked.

"No idea. Don't worry Doc; The Stunner is going to wear off soon."

"At first I was in sort of storage room for humans. They caught me escaping." Radek told Bates what had happened.

"I have been sitting here for a while now. We don't seem to be exactly a priority."

oOo

Rodney McKay hadn't slept for 36 hours. Since glowy-Sheppard, how he had dubbed the figure that had appeared to him, he had been following the directions, walking upstream the river. Rodney tried not to think about what had happened. Talking to glowy-Sheppard had made some things clearer, but there were still many questions left and Rodney wasn't sure he wanted to know the answers. In a way, he already had an idea what had happened. His encounters with the ascended Sheppard, Sheppard had made up for the damage he had done, he had healed Rodney's injuries and given him the information that would most likely save his life. Rodney had had a lot of time to think about in the 36 hours that he had spent setting one foot in front of the other, but the longer he thought about it, the more he thought that it had been Sheppard's final good-bye to him.

The terrain had gone from perfectly even meadows to steep, rocky paths that were impossible to travel in the dark. Rodney had been forced to stop for several hours to previous night and from the looks of the sun, he would only have two or three hours more before he had to call it a day. He hadn't had anything to eat since he had left the camp with Ford and Teyla several days ago. Following the river had provided him with water. In the first day he had often gotten light-headed, but that had passed now.

Sheppard had said that the Gate was thirty miles from the abandoned village that he had left 36 hours ago. Out of the those 36 hours, he had been walking for maybe thirty, but his pace had been slow as the terrain rose steadily, but even a mile an hour, he should have done that. But the river was sill running. Follow it all the way to it's spring. Rodney looked up the snow-covered mountains in the distance. The spring could be anywhere up there. The more altitude he gained the colder it got, he could only hope that Sheppard had not been to far off with his estimate.

He was not. Rodney followed a curve in the river and finally there it was, the spring of the river in a clearing. And in the setting sun, under an arch, the Stargate stood in the middle of the clearing. Rodney had never seen anything so beautiful in his life.

oOo

It was the end of a long day on Atlantis. The City was buzzing with rumours as everyone had seen something of the action and was filling in on the rest. Elizabeth had, in consulting with Dr. Heigthtmeyer, assembled everyone in the Gateroom at the usual dinner time.

"First of all, thank you all for coming on such short notice. Today had been trying day for many of you. It's also a sad day. Most of you already know from your colleagues or friends, but for those of you who didn't know. We lost a member of our expedition today. Dr. Rodney McKay was killed on a so far undesignated planet. But he died in the effort to rescue Major John Sheppard who was recovered today together with rest of the rescue team. "Elizabeth paused.

"Sergeant Bates, Dr. Zelenka and Halling all volunteered for the mission to Athos to search for a plant vital to the survival of the major and Teyla. Halling was the only one who returned for the mission. We now know that Athos has been settled by the Wraith. "

A murmur went through the rows.

"We lost contact with them two hours after the start of them mission and since 1800 wehaven't been abletoestablish a connection with Athos anymore. It is most likely that they have fallen in enemy hands." Dr. Weir concluded. "Sergeant Forsythe and Dr. Jamison, if you could please drop by later." She stepped back and Kate walked up to her.

"Are you sure it was a good idea giving them the news about Bates and Zelenka?" Kate asked her.

Elizabeth sat down on one of the now vacant chairs and drove a hand through her hair.

"I don't know. I guess half the City knew it anyways, and they deserve the truth. If the Wraith have them, they are gone. I sent them there!" Elizabeth exclaimed.

"You can't blame yourself! They were volunteers. They understood how important the mission was and they knew the risks. They are professionals."

"It was Radek's first time off-world. I pushed him because I thought they could use his expertise." Elizabeth sighed.

"What if I told you no matter who you would have chosen, it would always have happened the same, who would you have picked then?" Kate asked.

"I would have gone myself, of course."

"See, Elizabeth. You didn't know this was going to happen." Kate put her hand on Elizabeth's shoulder. "Call me later if you want to talk." Kate slipped away

towards the cafeteria.

Dr. Jamison approached Elizabeth. "Dr. Weir? Do you have a moment?"

"Yes, I wanted to talk to you about something concerning Dr. Zelenka. Please walk with me." Dr. Weir invited the other woman as they made their way back to Elizabeth's office.

"What is it?"

"I need you to change all of Dr. Zelenka's passwords and access codes. We cannot risk the Wraith having access to our systems in any form." Elizabeth explained briefly. "I already deleted his IDC from the system in case the Wraith get their hands on that information."

Dr. Jamison nodded. "I'll take care of it. The science department is having a party tonight."

Elizabeth gave her a surprised look. "For Radek and Rodney. To remember and celebrate them. What they did, they did for all of us. Maybe you would like to join us?"

oOo

The party at the science department had mutated into a party for all of Atlantis. By the time the party had spread from the empty storage rooms out into the hallways, Elizabeth had been too drunk to care. After checking in with Dr. Muir who was working on the cure for Major Sheppard and Teyla, Elizabeth had followed Dr. Jamison's invitation and had been surprised to find most of the City already there. The music was soft, there was plenty of alcohol and only few people were dancing. Dr. Jamison had been mixing drinks; they still tasted of paint stripper and lemonade concentrate. Elizabeth didn't care and from the looks of it so didn't anyone else. They had come to remember and to forget at the same time. Elizabeth needed to forget, forget all the people who had died on what was starting to look like a one-way trip, the fate that Zelenka and Bates had faced, forget the families back on Earth who might never know what might have happened to their sons, brothers and fathers. Elizabeth went to grab another drink.

TBC


	24. Singled Out

_The camp guards found them about an hour after dawn. They had used trained dogs to search through the forest, not halting their efforts during the night. John and Carson hadn't tried to run. When the guards found them, John thought back at the beautiful sunrise and followed without protests as his wrist were tried behind his back, They were chained together at the ankles and guards armed with automatic weapons led them out of the forest back to the point where they had abandoned the stolen truck._

_Just as John had said, the camp guards had followed the tire tracks to the woods. John looked back as he was shoved in the back of the truck taking them back to the camp. He felt strangely clam. He had known that their freedom wasn't going to last and somehow this was better than a slow death at the hands of the elements. He had no illusions that a harsh punishment was waiting for them when they got back to the camp._

_Carson was barely conscious as it was. What he had done, he hadn't just done for himself, he had done it for Carson. While it still pained him that he couldn't save Carson in the end, part of him realized that he wasn't the one to blame for Carson's fate. His addiction was killing Carson. Maybe it was his own fault for surrendering to the lure of the drug, maybe it was Elizabeth fault who had left him no other options or maybe it was the Yularans fault who had brought to drug to Atlantis in the first place. It had all started long before John had come along._

_John had to face up to it. He hadn't been able to save Rodney, he wasn't able to save Carson and he wouldn't be able to save himself._

_The truck they were in stopped and seconds later, one of the guards came around back, yanking them to the ground. They were back at the camp. It was deserted at this hour, the prisoners were already at work. One of the guards marched John and Carson to the middle of the grounds. Carson was only semi-conscious and John had to support him for him to remain upright. John had a bad idea what was coming next, but he wasn't afraid. He was ready for whatever they had in store for them._

oOo

Rodney stepped up to the Gate, suddenly infused with new strength. The legs that had threatened to fail him for the last few hours felt rested and strong again. He walked up to the DHD and started punching in Atlantis' address. He got as far as the fourth chevron when he stopped. Although he still had his GDO, it was likely that his IDC had been deleted, with the Wraith out there, Elizabeth would need to be cautious. Even if the other's had returned as Sheppard had indicated, they had no way of knowing that he was still out there. For all they knew, he was dead. The thought of the others thinking of him was dead chased a shiver down Rodney's spine. They couldn't do that. He thought for a moment, then decided to dial to address of the Alpha site. They had a constant post there keeping an eye out for any Wraith activity. The soldiers there could help him get back to Atlantis.

Rodney punched in the symbols to the Alpha site. The wormhole formed, he took a deep breath and stepped through the event horizon.

oOo

Sergeant Teager and Private Stark were on 'Gate duty. It had been an uneventful night, like all on the Alpha site, but after all they had chosen the Alpha site because it was far away from any hostile.

It was 0302 when the 'Gate activated. Sergeant Teager, who had been dozing off, startled and nearly fell. Private Stark had the presence of mind to get on the radio to call for back up.

"Command, this is Stark, we have an unscheduled activation. Back-up requested."

Stark held his weapon ready, waiting for the Gate to finish dialling; he hoped to god that it wasn't the Wraith.

The blue vortex shimmered into existence and Stark held his breath, gripping his weapon tighter. When the figure stumbled through the Gate, he startled. At first sight he didn't recognize him in the dark, as he fell to the ground, but when Sergeant Teager lowered his weapon and rushed towards the fallen figure he realized that the man on the ground was Atlantis' chief scientist.

Sergeant Teager was crouched next to Dr. McKay.

"Dr. McKay, are you all right?"

The scientist groaned.

"Call a medic." Teager ordered.

oOo

Elizabeth woke up confused. Her head ached furiously. For a moment she didn't know what had woken her, then she noticed her chirping radio.

"This is Dr. Weir." She answered, hoping this better be important.

"Grodin here. We just got a message from the Alpha site. I think you should better come here." Grodin sounded excited.

"I'll be there in five minutes." Elizabeth answered.

Cursing silently, she dressed. She knew that this was her own fault, she had had too much to drink. Damn it all to hell. Glancing into the mirror, she decided that her hair looked dangerously like the major's, but since Grodin has sounded urgent, she went on her way.

A tension lay over the control room and the Gate was engaged when she arrived their shortly after leaving her quarters.

"Peter, what is it?"

"Sergeant Teager from the Alpha site called us. I have him on the radio now." Grodin explained.

"Sergeant?" Elizabeth asked.

"Dr. Weir. I thought we'd call as soon as possible. Ten minutes ago, Dr. McKay came through the Gate."

"Are you sure it is him?"

"As sure as we can be without a DNA test." The sergeant replied. "But we haven't been able to talk to him yet. Lieutenant Winters is checking him out, he passed out after he came through the Gate."

"Good. We will have medical assistance ready for you in fifteen minutes. Atlantis out."

Grodin closed the connection.

oOo

Rodney was having the most wonderful dream. He was floating in a warm, soft cloud. He had started to believe that he would never get warm again. Rodney never wanted to wake up again.

"Dr. McKay? Dr. McKay!" A strident voice broke through into his dream world. Rodney tried to turn away, he didn't want to wake up, but the voice was insistent.

"Dr. McKay, can you here me?" The owner of the voice started to shake him.

Rodney groaned. Reality was starting to bleed through. His whole body hurt. Had these people never heard of pain killers? His throat felt parched. Rodney tried to open his eyes. To get them even to half-mast seemed to take an enormous effort.

A blurred figured swam before his eyes.

Rodney tried to ask a question, but only produced a strangled gasp. Still, the person standing in front of him seemed to understand and a cup with a straw appeared in front of him. Rodney eagerly took a sip.

He had never tasted anything this good. He couldn't remember the last time had had anything to drink. Too soon the cup was removed.

The blurry figure moved away. Rodney couldn't see much of his surrounding. Everything seemed dim. It must be night, he thought.

"How are you feeling, Dr. McKay? Are you in any pain?" A voice came from somewhere in the distance.

"It...hurts." Rodney managed.

"Your left ankle is badly swollen. You might have torn a ligament, but we will have to take an x-ray to be sure. As soon as we take you back to Atlantis, we will be able to do that." The voice explained.

Back to Atlantis? Where was he now?

"Where?" Rodney asked.

"You are at the Alpha site. We will take you back to Atlantis as soon as a doctor checks you out."

Rodney frowned and closed his eyes, he was so very tired.

"Stay awake, Dr. McKay." He could feel a hand on his shoulder. "The doctor from Atlantis should be here any minute. You have a bad gash on your forehead; you might have hit your head."

A second voice somewhere in the distance joined the first. Rodney opened his eyes again. He blinked, hoping that his vision would finally clear up. Everything was still a blur.

"Rodney?" The voice was familiar, but the name wouldn't come to mind. Rodney's mind felt sluggish and tired.

"Rodney, can you tell me what's wrong?" Rodney felt a hand on his.

"Hurts." Rodney said and closed his eyes again. He wanted to sleep again.

"Rodney, stay awake, you can sleep again in a few minutes." The voice said gently. Rodney desperately wanted to remember the name belonging to the voice but it wouldn't come to him. His brain simply wouldn't co-operate. Rodney was surprised when he felt tears on his face.

"Oh, Rodney! It's going to be all right. You're going home. You just need to hang on a few more minutes. Can you do that?"

Rodney nodded.

"Can you tell me what hurts?"

"Head...ankle."

"Thought so. It looks like you hit your head. I need you to answer a few questions. Do you know where you are?"

Someone had said this before. Rodney knew it.

"Alpha site. M..."

"It's all right. Do you know who you are?"

"Rodney McKay."

"I never thought I'd see the day you forget to mention your degree." There was a suppressed laugh.

oOo

Radek had dozed off despite the situation. The physical exertion and stress had exhausted him. He startled awake when two Wraith came walking into the room where his and Bates' cells were located. The leading Wraith paused in front of their cells and looked back and forth between Radek and Bates. Radek followed his eyes with barely suppressed fear. He had no doubt that the Wraith would go for them both, it was just a matter of who was going first and Radek was not particularly eager to have the honour. Still, the Wraith's eyes settled on him. The Wraith shot a look back to his henchman. The second Wraith stepped forward and lowered the bars to Radek's cell. Radek didn't resist when the Wraith grabbed him by the arm and dragged him outside. Without another word, the two Wraith led him out of the room. Radek was half dragged, half walked through a row of corridor until the Wraith that had grabbed hold of his upper arm threw him into a room and shut the door behind him.

Radek slowly pushed himself up from the floor and got to his feet. He walked into the middle of the room and looked around. The room was square and was more of a hall than a room.

"Don't be afraid." The high voice made Radek shiver. He whirled around. A clearly female Wraith with magenta hair stood where a second ago had been empty space.

She motioned for him to get closer.

"Don't be afraid. I will not harm you."

She smiled a toothy smile. Radek stayed frozen. When Radek didn't move, the female Wraith moved towards him.

"You can trust me." She put a hand against Radek's check.

Radek didn't move, unsure what to make of her.

"Don't be afraid. I will not feed off you. You are far too valuable for that. You are special."

TBC


	25. Returned

John and Carson stood in the middle of the camp grounds, wrists bound behind their backs, ankles chained together. Carson was in bad shape after their escape and recapture. John was doing his best to keep him on his feet.

"Carson, come on, just a few more minutes." He whispered to the other man.

Carson blinked tiredly. "What's goin' on?"

"Look at them." John smiled, although there was nothing to smile about. Carson glanced at the group of guards surrounding the camp commander. They were getting their weapons ready.

"I don't want to die." Carson shot John a pleading look.

"I know." John said solemnly. "But the cycle has to end. It ends with us."

Carson looked eyes with him and John knew he understood. The madness that had begun on Atlantis, it had to end. They were the last ones left. John wasn't that different from them. He had adapted, he had killed that guard in cold blood even while he had begged for his life. And it had been for nothing.

"Are you ready?" John asked Carson.

Carson nodded.

In the distance, the guards raised their weapons.

John took Carson's hand and closed his eyes.

oOo

Elizabeth was sipping from her cup of coffee substitute. She was dead tired. After the call from the Alpha site, frantic activity had broken lose. By the time things had calmed down again, it had been almost time to get up again. Elizabeth had decided to go for an early breakfast in the cafeteria. Her hopes that the fake coffee from M5X-653 would chase away her lingering headache didn't seem to be realised. She sighed. She should have known better than to drink that much the previous night. She didn't think she had been that drunk ever since college.

"Mind if I join you?" A familiar voice asked. Elizabeth looked up and saw a tired looking Carson standing at her table.

"Sure." She nodded. She wasn't in the mood for company, but she hadn't had a chance to talk to Carson since he had returned with Rodney from the Alpha site about an hour ago.

"Dr. Muir finished the cure about two hours ago. She tested it on a sample, and then we administered to Teyla and the major. It took a while to take hold, we already thought it wasn't going to work, but they started to stabilize about twenty minutes ago. The results of the blood tests are still pending, but everything indicates that the Wraith toxin is decaying."

"Are they still in danger?"

"Teyla is going to be all right, but I want to keep her at least as long as her vision is still impaired. I want to exclude the possibility of a neurological injury. Her wounds will need continued monitoring for about two more weeks if no infection develops. She has some muscle damage from a bite wound. This will take longer to heal. Sheppard is just coming around the bend. His response to the medications is improving. I think it has to do with the Wraith toxin. But really we know very little about how it affects the body. Still, I believe it is worth further study. We are bound to run into the Wraith again sometime in the future."

"I understand. I will consider your research proposal. As I said, we need to cut down on the number of projects that are pursuing. We have brought enormous potential here, and there is technology for centuries of research here. But we have made hardly any progress." Elizabeth stated.

"Aren't you a bit hard on the science department? They are faced with technology that is millennia ahead of our own and Rodney is working harder than anyone I know." Carson defended his friend.

"I don't question Rodney's work as a scientist, but I think as a department leader, he might not be…in touch with the people who work for him."

Carson said nothing. He didn't agree with Elizabeth on this one. Rodney might not have the best people skills, but he was good at his job.

When Carson returned from getting himself one of the Athosian apples, Elizabeth's mind was still on Rodney,

"I haven't had had chance to ask you after your return yet, but how is Rodney doing?" She asked.

"Exhausted, dehydrated. Mildly hypothermic. He's had a rough time. He partially tore ligament in his left ankle. He hit his head, but the injury is at least a day old. Once we get him rehydrated and warmed up, he is going to be fine." Carson told her.

Elizabeth smiled with relief.

"It's good to hear that we got him back."

Carson nodded. "I didn't think I'd ever see him again." He paused. "But one thing is strange. Teyla told me that Rodney suffered stabbing wounds and cuts while they were on the planet. There was no sign that he was stabbed or cut." Carson considered.

Elizabeth frowned.

"There are some things that don't make sense." Elizabeth took another sip. "I want this resolved."

oOo

This time, the dream didn't feel at all pleasant. Rodney was in a world of hurt. Layers and layers of sheets were covering him, suffocating him. It was too hot; he couldn't move under the weight of the covers, he could hardly breathe. He struggled to free himself.

Finally, cool air touched his skin. He could breathe again. The effort had exhausted Rodney. All he wanted to do was sleep again. But that was not to be, when a hand landed on his arm. Rodney hadn't even heard the owner of the hand coming.

"Rodney? What were you thinking? We need to keep you warm."

With a soft thud, the blankets landed on top of him again and someone was straightening them out, gently tugging him in.

Rodney tried to protest. "No…'s too hot." He didn't want the blankets back.

"Rodney, can you open your eyes? Just for a minute?"

Rodney didn't understand why anyone would want him to open his eyes when all he wanted to do was go back to sleep.

"I know you are awake, Rodney."

Rodney gave in and tried to pry his eyes open. It took less effort than the last time he had done so. He blinked a few time to clear his vision, but when the image infolded in front of him, he could see Carson leaning over him.

"That's it. There you go." Carson encouraged him.

"Wouldn't…let sleep." Rodney mumbled.

"You can sleep all you want after I check you over."

Carson handed Rodney a cup of water. Rodney drank, wondering how Carson had known that he was thirsty. Slowly, the cotton wool was fading from his head. He felt utterly weak and tired. The march to the 'Gate came back to him. It had seemed like he had been on his feet for a week, but in reality, it had been less than 48 hours.

"It's enough. If you drink too much too soon, you'll get sick." Carson said and took the cup away from him.

Rodney looked around himself and noticed the IV in his hand. He shot Carson a questioning look.

"It seems like you had quite a rough time." Carson said softly. "You know, we didn't think we'd see you again. Everyone will be very glad to hear that you are alive and well."

Rodney was going to disagree on the word 'well', but he was definitely alive. It creped him out that his team mates would think that he was dead. Hadn't John told them? Rodney wasn't sure he wanted to know.

"What happened to the others?" He asked, hoping that they were alive and back on Atlantis.

"We found them on a planet two days ago. There were some problems, but we came back eventually. It was a bad mission." Carson said, leaving out the details. Strangely Rodney didn't ask for any.

He leaned back on his bed and didn't protest when Carson brought back the thick covers. He wasn't sure whether Rodney was just tired or whether he was preoccupied with something else.

"Did you really think I was dead?" Rodney asked with a combination of morbid fascination and fear.

"Everything looked like it. You were missing on a hostile planet. We didn't know if there was a Stargate. We knew you were injured. I'm sure Elizabeth didn't make the decision lightly. And honestly, I have to say that at the time, I agreed with her." Carson said sadly.

Rodney shook his head. "She just replaced me?" Rodney sounded angry.

Carson put a hand on Rodney's shoulder. "You have too understand, we had to look forward."

"Well, Radek is a good scientist." Rodney said.

"It wasn't Radek." Carson confessed.

"What do you mean? I recommended him for the post." Rodney said. He was confused.

"Dr. Weir appointed Dr. Jamison and Dr. Kavanaugh for joined leadership of the department."

"What?" Rodney couldn't believe it. These two were about the last that he would have appointed to lead the department. They had no sense for true research.

"I think you better to talk Elizabeth about this." Carson said evasively. "You need to rest. She wants to talk to you later about what happened on the planet. There are some things we aren't sure about yet." Carson explained.

Rodney wouldn't be patronized. He felt the exhaustion resulting from the previous days closing in on him, but he needed to get to the bottom of what was going on. Something was going on that he didn't know about.

"Why didn't Elizabeth give the post to Radek? And don't tell me you don't know, because everyone knew that Radek was next in line for the job." Rodney asked determined to find out the answer.

"Radek has gone missing."

oOo

Radek had never been this scared in his life before. The female Wraith stood less than a foot from him, her hands lying on his shoulders. Radek was resigned to die, but he was afraid of what the Wraith was going to do it him until he did.

"You are afraid." The Wraith whispered and pulled him closer. Radek stiffened and didn't answer.

"I told you. You don't have to fear us." The female Wraith put a hand to Radek's forehead. Radek moved back, put she held him firmly with her other hand.

Radek was starting to feel warm. His vision was starting to blur slowly.

"Just relax; it's going to be all right." The Wraith soothed as he struggled against her grip. "Don't fight this."

"Please, let me go." Radek pleaded as his body started to burn.

The Wraith in front him was swirling away into a crazy mix of colours, just before Radek's vision finally began to darken. He tried for a final time to get free, but his body was no longer co-operating. All he could feel was the heat burning away his body.

oOo

"Dr. Zelenka?"

The loud voice made Radek's head hurt.

"Dr. Zelenka? Are you all right?"

What kind of a question was that? His head was about to explode.

"Dr. Zelenka? Can you hear me?"

"Mhm, no." Radek mumbled to shut the voice up.

"Are you hurt?" The voice wasn't giving up.

Radek opened his eyes and closed them again immediately.

"Can you get up?"

Radek pushed himself up with his arms and got to a sitting position without problems. Carefully, he opened his eyes again. The flashlight was on the ground now. Bates was crouched next to him. He looked a bit dishevelled, but otherwise all right.

"Can you get up?" He repeated his question.

"I think so." Radek replied and got to his feet. He felt a bit unsteady, but otherwise he was fine. Especially for a man who had been face to face with Wraith.

"What happened?" Zelenka pinched the bridge of his nose.

"I have no idea. The last think I remember, I was in the cell in the Wraith compound, and then I woke up here. Where did they take you?"

"I'm not sure. There was a Wraith; I don't know what she wanted…" It was all fuzzy in Radek's mind. All he could recall was the magenta haired female Wraith.

TBC


	26. Blacked Out

"What happened to Radek?" Rodney asked, any notions of fatigue quickly fading.

"It's a long story, Rodney. Elizabeth wouldn't have sent them on the mission if she had had a choice."

"What does that mean?" Rodney wouldn't be satisfied.

"Sheppard and the others crashed on a planet together with a Wraith Dart. Teyla and Sheppard were attacked by one of them."

When Carson saw Rodney's shocked expression, he quickly continued.

"The Wraith didn't feed off them long enough to age them, but what we didn't know was that when a Wraith feeds, it releases a toxin that will slowly kill the victim. Luckily the Athosians knew of an antidote. Elizabeth sent them to Athos to find the plant we needed. Halling got back just in time last night."

"Are they going to be all right?" Rodney asked tension evident in his voice.

"I hope so; they have been through a lot. Teyla and Aiden are well on their road to recovery, but to be honest, it's going to be a long one for both of them."

"What about John?" Rodney asked tentatively.

"We are treating his head injury, but there is only so much we can do. He is responding to the antidote to the Wraith toxin, so he is stabilizing quickly..." Carson ran out of things to say.

"Spare me the bullshit Carson. How bad is it really?" Rodney wanted to know. He recalled John's words back in the abandoned house. He had mentioned that his head had taken a hit. Rodney was afraid that John was going to die after all.

"He's got a hairline fracture to his skull. Also, there is some swelling to his brain. We hope that the medication we have him on will fix that. But I'm concerned because he has been unconscious for several days and Teyla told me that he'd been having seizure shortly after his injury. There are indications of permanent damage. At the moment we can just hope for the best and wait for him to wake up. But if he doesn't wake up soon, the chances that he ever does aren't very good." Carson said. Rodney had wanted all the facts, and then he was going to give them to him. Carson wasn't going to lie to his friend.

Rodney couldn't recall John having a seizure while they had been on the planet, but the time at their camp had passed in a haze of pain and fevered dreams.

"I don't remember." Rodney shook his head.

"It's all right." Carson reassured him. He couldn't imagine what Rodney had been through. The effort it must have cost him to find his way back to Atlantis was unbelievable.

"No, it's not all right. You have no idea what happened back there. It's my fault." Rodney snapped. Glowy-John had tried to absolve him of his guilt, but still, if Rodney hadn't rushed John, it would never have come to this.

"The truth is that I don't know what happened on the planet where John was held prisoner. Teyla told me some things, but only bits and pieces, mainly information relevant to treatment." Carson replied.

"They messed with his mind, made him believe we weren't real. He fought against us when we came to rescue him." Rodney recalled.

"Are you sure?" Carson asked.

"Of course, I'm sure. They used some sort of drugs. I told me himself." Rodney said without thinking.

Carson shot him a questioning look. Rodney for once didn't know what to say.

"When did John tell you that he was drugged?" Carson asked sharply.

Rodney looked down on covers. "You are not going to believe it."

"I think I will." Carson said quietly and Rodney looked up. Carson had a knowing impression on his face.

Rodney fidgeted. "I saw John, but it wasn't quite him. He was all Ancient." It sounded even crazier to Rodney when he said it out loud.

Rodney felt a hand on his shoulder.

"I saw him too."

Rodney looked up to Carson.

"You too?"

"That's right. He told me that you were still alive and he warned us about the Wraith on Athos. But it was too late to get Bates and Radek back from there."

"So, I'm not just crazy?"

"No, you're not." Carson smiled at him.

oOo

Radek sat on a fallen log. So far, Bates and he had been basically lost. He had left the lead to Bates, who had resorted to his survival training, proceeding to locate the nearest water source. Less than three hours after they had found themselves in the little clearing, Bates had found a small stream. Now he was gathering firewood. Zelenka was looking on. His headache was getting worse, the longer they were out in the woods. Something was tugging on his conscious mind, but it didn't quite rise to the surface. He closed his eyes. Images flitted in front of his mental eye. The female Wraith, the view of the Wraith base, but then other, unfamiliar images. Two other Wraith, their mouths moving without sound. He was looking up at them. Radek shook his head. It didn't make sense. More images rose to the surface in quick succession. The female Wraith together with the other two. She was telling him something. One of the other two Wraith was holding a small metallic object, waving it in front of him. A sharp pain lanced through his head and everything went black.

oOo

Rodney had given into Carson and rested until after lunch before he had gone to see John. Only seeing him alive could convince him that he had not killed his friend. Still, despite what John had said, Rodney felt utterly guilty. More than anything, he wished he could undo what he had done in the underground prison. It didn't matter that it had been John who had seriously injured him; he had not been himself. If Rodney had not provoke him, if he had thought about what he was doing, if he had taken care to analyse the situation, then maybe, things wouldn't have escalated in the way they had.

From behind he heard someone approach. He turned and saw one of the nurses bring Teyla in wheelchair. She stopped next to him.

"Rodney?" Teyla asked.

For a moment Rodney was confused. He looked at Teyla, took in the way she was not looking at him, the way her eyes darted around the room without finding focus and the way she turned her head the wrong angle.

"I'm right here." He replied. He wanted to ask her how she was doing, but then thought of it. Teyla was blind, how should she be doing.

"Dr. Beckett told me that you had returned to Atlantis. I was very glad to hear this. I must apologize to you. We should never have abandoned you on the planet. As your friend you did nothing to deserve this."

"You set your priorities. You needed to get Sheppard help. You did the right thing." Rodney replied.

Teyla frowned.

"Your apology is appreciated." Rodney added. "I'm glad you got Sheppard back to Atlantis."

"I fear it is too late." Teyla replied, missing her usual optimism, for all her experience of violence and death, Teyla seemed to believe in survival and the good in people.

"I heard from Carson." Rodney couldn't help but agree. It didn't look too good for John. "I feel responsible." he confessed. "If I had recognized the situation, none of this would have happened. You wouldn't be in this situation."

"You shouldn't blame yourself, Dr. McKay. You couldn't have foreseen how the major would react." Teyla paused.

"Dr. Beckett believes that I will see again soon." Teyla hesitated. Rodney could tell that she wasn't as convinced as the physician. He would have liked to say something, anything to encourage her, but he didn't know the right words. If she indeed faced a life of blindness, were there even the right words?

oOo

The first thing Radek became aware of was that all his muscles hurt like he had just run a marathon. The second thing he noticed was that he was lying on something hard and unyielding, except that there was something under his head. Tentatively he moved, but other than the pain, he could move all his limbs. Slowly, he opened his eyes. It took an enormous effort to get them open. A cerulean sky came into view. Carefully he turned his head to the right. A small fire was burning. Bates? Radek pushed himself up. What had happened?

He saw Bates a few meters away at the small stream.

Radek got to his feet and walked up to the other man.

"Sergeant?"

"Dr. Zelenka! I didn't expect you back on your feet. Are you all right?"

"I'm not sure. Can you tell me what happened?"

"You suddenly blacked up and then you had some kind of a seizure. It really freaked me out, to be honest. Has this ever happened before, Doctor?"

"No, never. Dr. Beckett wouldn't have let me go off-world otherwise." Radek shook his head.

"Well, we have water and I got a fire going while you were out. For one night we can make do here, but after that we should secure better shelter. We still have at least six hours of sunlight left; we should use the time to find a food source." Bates stated all business again.

An image flashed through Radek's mind.

"The 'Gate is about three miles from here. North-East." Radek suddenly said to his own surprise.

Bates stared at him. Radek shrugged.

"I don't know how." He apologized. "I just know." Slowly he was scaring himself. First the flashbacks, then the black-out, the seizure, then the sudden surge of intuition.

"Seriously, doc. This is just freaky." Bates shook his head.

oOo

Elizabeth wasn't sure whether Carson had been fully honest with her when he'd declared Rodney not fit to give her an informal report. He himself had handed her his report. She had gone back to her office. reading his report, she had found it detailed and logical, but something seemed to be missing. Still, she couldn't exactly put her finger on it.

When Grodin knocked on her door, it was a welcome distraction.

"Come in."

"Dr. Weir? It's the Alpha site again."

"I'm coming." Elizabeth followed Grodin out into the control room.

"I have Sergeant Teager on the radio." Grodin announced.

"Thank you. Sergeant Teager. This is Weir. What is going on?"

"Teager here. We are finally seeing some action here. Sergeant Bates and Dr. Zelenka just gated in."

"Do you need assistance?" Elizabeth hoped that they were all right, but she knew the circumstances under which they had gone missing, Lately, they seemed to have bad luck with their missions.

"No, they are all right from what it seems, although the sergeant mentioned that they needed to see a medic when they got back." Sergeant Teager communicated.

"Okay, transmit your IDC and we'll be ready to receive them with a medical team standing by." Elizabeth motioned to Grodin to make the necessary call.

oOo

"So, what happened?" Carson asked Radek, who was sitting on the exam table. Dr. Biro was taking care of Bates post mission exam.

"Apparently, I had blacked out and had seizure after that. But for the details, you will really have to ask the sergeant. I wasn't present for the event." Radek said.

"I will ask him." Carson said an shone a pen light in Radek's eyes. Radek waved his hand away.

"Ow. That hurts." Carson made a note on his clip board.

"Does anything hurt?"

"Everything."

"Have you ever had a black-out like this before?"

"Funny, the sergeant asked the same thing before. Same answer, this has never happened. I wouldn't have passed the mission screening." Radek replied.

Carson made another note.

"I would like to take you for an MRI, to see what's going on in that head of yours."

TBC


	27. Tracked

Radek was getting increasingly nervous. He felt uncomfortable in the burgundy scrubs that Beckett had given him to wear before the MRI. The procedure had seemed to take forever. Radek wasn't claustrophobic, but the small space and the loud noise had left him somewhat unsettled. He pulled his arms around himself in a gesture to get warm as he waited for Carson to get back to him with the results of the MRI.

The events of the last two days were only starting to sink in. As Radek processed what had happened, the more gruesome scenarios rose in his mind. The Wraith would not have let them go without good reason. Nothing he could think of was remotely pleasant. The possibilities of what they could have done to him made him shudder. Carson seemed to take forever to look at the images from the MRI, Radek thought. He knew that the news was going to be bad, but he wanted to know, he needed to know. Everything was going to be better than imaging one thing more horrible than another.

The door to the infirmary opened and Carson came in. He wasn't smiling and Radek knew that he wasn't bringing happy news.

Carson walked up to him and sat down on the nearest chair. He looked like he was going to say something, but then didn't.

"What is it?" Radek asked, finding the tension unbearable.

"There was a spot on your MRI. We don't know exactly what it is. It's a shape...it doesn't look like any naturally grown tissue. But it's really too soon to tell. I want to run a CAT scan to get more information." Carson informed Radek.

oOo

Elizabeth had made her way down to the infirmary following Carson's call on the radio. She was not surprised that he was still working. She had told him to take it easy for a while, but with his friends injured, he could not rest until he was assured that they were going to be all right.

She entered through the open door to his office. Carson was sitting at his desk, reading something.

"Dr. Beckett?"

"Ah, Dr. Weir. I appreciate you coming down here. I need to talk to you."

"Is this about Dr. McKay?" Elizabeth thought the mysterious events surrounding Rodney's survival and return to Atlantis.

"No, it concerns Dr. Zelenka. It might even be a matter of security for the City."

"Okay." Elizabeth replied, slightly sceptically.

"I examined him to determine to cause of his black-out and seizure. When I ran an MRI, I found a foreign object near his brain stem. We are still running tests, but so far we have determined that the object is actively emitting an energy signature."

"Is it sending a signal?"

"We don't know. We just know that it is active in some way. There are a number of tests we could run, but Radek needed some rest. I'm keeping him in the infirmary for now and I've starting him on anti-seizure medication. Until we know how the object is affecting him, it's the safest thing to do." Carson explained.

"Is there a chance this thing was there before the mission to Athos and we just missed it?" Elizabeth asked.

Carson shook his head.

"Unlikely. Radek described a sudden onset of headaches and flashbacks. If it had been there before, he would have experienced symptoms before. It's likely that this is some form of Wraith technology we haven't encountered before. Maybe it serves as a locator beacon, or it has some other function we are currently not aware of." Carson concluded.

"So, whatever it is, it is malicious. Can you remove it?"

"Dr. Biro has training as a neurosurgeon, but the location of this implant, for a lack of a better word, makes removal next to impossible with Earth technology."

"You said Earth technology. Is there a possibility using Ancient technology?"

Carson hesitated. "There might be, but it's theoretical at best. We are still sighting the Ancient medical equipment." Carson said, well aware of Elizabeth's new research policy.

Elizabeth nodded. "If it comes down to it, it may be our last resort. Because if the implant is really a homing beacon for the Wraith, we can't allow it to continue transmitting."

Carson hated to agree, but knew she was right. When it came down to it, risking Radek's life on an untested procedure was worth the risk when the lives of the entire expedition were at stake.

oOo

The lights in the science labs were still on when Dr. Weir went to seek out Dr. Jamison.

She found the anthropologist in the biology lab. The scientist looked up when Dr. Weir came in.

"Dr, Weir? What can I do for you?"

"I was hoping you could run a quick check for me. The Genii interface. There is a possibility that the Wraith have gotten a lead on our position."

Dr. Jamison paled.

"Do you think they are on their way here?" She asked.

"It's possible. Could you check into their position? I know this is normally Dr. Warren's job, but I guess he has called it a day."

"Yeah, he has signed out around seven." Dr. Jamison replied. "The device is in the computer lab. Follow me." Dr. Jamison led the way down the corridor.

She punched in her key code and they entered the computer lab. Dr. Jamison turned on the monitor of the computer the device was connected to.

"We have been trying to study the mechanism the Genii device is based on. We hope that it will help us to find more ways to scan for the Wraith ourselves."

"Doesn't Atlantis do that for us?"

"Yes, in a way she does. But only to a limited extent. You see, her scan radius is limited. We don't pick up the Wraith until they are almost here. This device uses an entirely different mechanism to monitor the Wraith ships. We don't think the Genii could have built this on their own. It is probably Ancient or Wraith. If it is Wraith, a device designed to monitor an entire fleet suggest a hierarchy of some sort."

Elizabeth nodded, once again thinking that there were entirely too many frivolous projects going on.

She looked over Dr. Jamison's shoulder.

"I'm scanning for ships now." A second later, the scheme flickered into view. "There it is."

"I don't see any ships moving into the direction of Atlantis right now." Dr. Jamison said. "But the ships this device lets us see are certainly not all the Wraith ships out there."

"Is there a way to look specifically for ships coming from Athos?"

"I wish there were. We have been trying this for two months now." Dr. Jamison said regretfully.

oOo

Radek was trapped. He couldn't move his arms and legs. Raising his head, he could see that they had been secured in leather restraints. Radek started to panic. What had happened? He couldn't remember.

A Wraith appeared on his field of vision. He smiled down at him. Suddenly everything was bathed in a bright blue light. Radek had to shut his eyes; it was so bright it hurt. When he felt the Wraith's touch on his forehead, his eyes snapped open. Now there were two Wraith. One of them was holding a thin metallic cylinder, hardly thicker than a needle. Radek could feel his heart hammering against his chest. Suddenly, he felt a sting at the side of his neck and a wave of cold washed through him. Like an icy cold, heavy blanket, it settled over him, immobilizing him, suffocating him. Radek wanted to scream, but he had already lost his voice.

Radek jerked awake, his scream echoing in his ears. His heart was beating far too fast and he was struggling for air. He didn't notice her approach, but one second later, the night nurse on duty stood next to his bed.

"Dr. Zelenka, are you all right?"

He tried to get enough air to speak.

"Yes, nightmare."

"Can you breathe okay?"

Radek thought it was obvious that this was not the case.

She handed him a glass of water. Radek took a few sips.

"You need anything else?"

He shook his head. He still felt woozy from the anti-seizure medication Carson had given him. Although Carson told him that this was normal, he still resented the feeling.

Radek put the glass back on the night stand and leaned back on the pillow. The only good thing about having to spend the night in the infirmary had been getting to see Rodney. With all the shock and worry about him after his return from Athos, no one hold told him about Rodney's wondrous return. So when he had walked into the small ward, he had been stunned to see Rodney sitting at the major's bedside. But as good as it had been to see Rodney; he was worried about his friend. Although Carson had told him, after some prying, that Rodney was well on his road to recovery, Rodney was quiet, withdrawn and depressed. Not at all like him. He had barely acknowledged Radek's presence. Not that Radek expected much consideration from Rodney, but at least a snarky remark about his bad luck on his first mission would have been in order.

oOo

Elizabeth entered the control room when the night shift was already on duty. The staff looked up when she came on. She realized that it was a seldom occurrence to see her up this late.

"Private Reynolds, can you scan the area for any approaching ships?"

Private Reynolds looked surprised, but complied. She went over to the Ancient terminal and entered the search parameters.

The display brought up the grid. At the outer edge was a red dot.

"Is that a ship?"

"Yes, that's right. I can't tell what it is. But it's likely that it is Wraith."

"Yes, and it wasn't on the Genii device." Elizabeth said gloomily.

"A scouting Dart wouldn't"

"Radio Carson. We have an emergency. It's a homing beacon."

TBC


	28. Exiled

Radek had just dozed off again when Carson woke him. The infirmary was dimly lit and Carson spoke in a hushed voice.

"Dr. Zelenka? Wake up!"

"Mhm. What is it?" Radek mumbled. It couldn't possible be morning already. He felt dead tired.

"Sorry to wake you already, but it is really urgent." Carson looked deeply concerned.

Radek sat up, trying to clear the cobwebs from his mind.

"You discovered something about the implant?"

"Unfortunately yes. It does seem to be some sort of locator beacon for the Wraith. We don't know how exactly it works, but a Wraith ship is on its way here."

"I was afraid that it was something like this." Radek said quietly and began to get out of bed.

"Careful. Take it slow." Carson supported him.

Radek ignored him. Now was not the time for this.

"What's the plan?"

"We don't have one. Dr. Weir has put this as the top priority. Everyone from the science department is awake and working on this right now."

Radek knew this should reassure him, but it didn't.

"What about me? I can't stay here in the City. It's too dangerous." Radek said.

"Aye. You're right." Carson nodded. "Dr. Weir and Dr. Grodin are looking through the database of available planets right now." Carson looked as distraught as Radek felt.

The doctor must have noticed how the scientist felt, because he continued. "I'm sure it will only be for a short time, until we figure out something."

"But by then it will be too late." Radek said gloomily.

"Don't talk like that. Everyone is working on this. We will find a way to take care of this."

Radek didn't reply. He was thinking about something. He couldn't go to the Alpha site; they needed it in case the Wraith ever did make their way to Atlantis. Most of the planets they had explored were either inhabited or if they weren't there was a good reason why not. But there was one planet that was unpopulated that he could go to. Radek swung his legs over the side of the bed and hurried out of the infirmary. Carson called something after him, but he was already too far away to make out what he was saying.

In the control room, he found Dr. Grodin and Dr. Weir leaning over a computer terminal. When they noticed his presence, Dr. Grodin just stared, while Dr. Weir looked positively not amused.

"Dr. Zelenka! You were supposed to be in the infirmary with Dr. Beckett." From her tone, Radek inferred that Carson had not been supposed to let him leave.

"What are you doing here?"

"I realize that I cannot stay in the City. But I have an idea as to where I could go. The Alpha site as out of the question, but what about the planet Rodney was stranded on?" Radek proposed.

Elizabeth frowned, but didn't look any friendlier.

"A hostile group of pirates had their camp on this planet. I don't think it would be safe there."

Radek almost laughed. This was preposterous. He wouldn't be safe anywhere, he was a walking Wraith-magnet.

His amusement must have shown, because Dr. Weir now looked at him like he had lost his mind completely. Radek tried to stay serious.

"The people that imprisoned the major have left the planet, according to Teyla and Lieutenant Ford. We know that they are nomadic, they won't be coming back any time soon." Radek argued. He wished that Elizabeth would realize that searching for a suitable planet was consuming time that they didn't have. The closer the Wraith ship came, the more likely it was that it would find the City. He had to leave as soon as possible. What he would do then, he had no idea and it scared him more than he would ever admit.

"It sounds plausible." Grodin admitted.

"All right." Dr. Weir said. „We'll get a MALP ready with some equipment that you might need. You might want to dress." She noted.

oOo

Twenty minutes later, Radek and the MALP were ready in the control room. Radek tried to convey an air of calm, but internally he was trembling. He afraid of what was going to happen to him once he was on the other site of the Gate, alone on the alien planet. He knew the science team would keep working on the problem, but what if they did not come up with a solution, in the time he had left until the Wraith found him? He was just one person. He understood why he couldn't stay, yet he didn't want to leave, knowing that he most likely would never return to the place that had become his home in a strange galaxy.

Sergeant Peters checked through the gear loaded on the MALP.

"Everything checks out, Dr. Zelenka. You got a tent with assembling instructions. You should have it up in ten minutes. Rations and drinking water for seven days, a radio was back-up batteries and one of your gizmos." Sergeant Peters summed up.

"Thank you, Sergeant." Elizabeth said. She was glad; the sergeant had been able to get all the equipment together this quickly. It was the middle of the night, but they had no time to lose.

"Do you have everything Dr. Zelenka?"

Radek nodded.

oOo

An eternity seemed to have passed, it had just been twenty-four hours since the last time they had had breakfast together, when Carson walked up to Elizabeth sitting in the cafeteria.

Atlantis' leader looked tired and worn. She hadn't been getting a lot of sleep lately. They never caught a break. Ever since the major had been taken from the market, it had been one long string of bad luck for the Atlantians.

The loss of one more good man weighed heavily on Elizabeth's shoulders as she stirred on her cup of coffee substitute. She nodded absent-mindedly to Carson when he asked whether he could join her.

Carson took the seat opposite her. He wasn't hungry, but he desperately needed a cup of coffee, even if it was not real coffee.

"We shouldn't have sent him away alone." Elizabeth said. "Sending him away to this planet...It felt like sending him away to die."

"It's not like this." Carson insisted. "We are not giving up on him. It was the only thing you could have done."

"I keep sending people to die, Carson. Good people who did nothing to deserve it."

"Nobody deserves to die."

"I'm not so sure anymore." Elizabeth sighed. "We and the Wraith can't exist together." She put her cup down. "As long as they are out there, they will keep coming at us. And we are defenceless against them."

"Ah, that's unfortunately true, but what are you thinking about?"

"A pre-emptive strike." Elizabeth said with determination.

"We didn't come here to wage war." Carson cautioned.

"This isn't a choice. The moment Sheppard woke, the war started." Elizabeth replied. "We didn't come here to die. It's my job to make sure that we survive and if going to war with the Wraith is what it takes..."

oOo

Rodney woke up in a bad mood. He had had a bad night. He didn't know what been going on, but with all the screaming, talking and running around in the infirmary during the night, he had been woken several times.

His mood didn't improve when Dr. Woods came around to his bed, smiling brightly.

"Good morning, Dr. McKay. How are you doing today?"

Rodney grimaced. "Better. Where is Beckett?"

"Working on his research, I assume." Dr. Woods replied. "I got the results of your blood work from yesterday back and it is looking good. There is no reason for you to stay here any longer."

Rodney nodded. He should be glad that he was getting out of the infirmary, a place that he normally hated, but this time, he didn't look forward to getting back to his quarters or getting back to work. He still felt so tired. What if Sheppard never woke up or Teyla remained blind? Rodney didn't know what he would do if it came to that.

"I'll bring you a pair of crutches, and then you can go. You need to keep the weight of your ankle for at least another two weeks." Dr. Woods explained.

"Where's Radek?" Rodney asked when he realised that the bed opposite of his was empty.

"You mean Dr. Zelenka? I think he was released already. He was only here for over-night observation. Oh, another thing. Dr. Weir wants to talk to you as soon as you are released."

Rodney nodded. He had no intention of going to see Elizabeth. He could already guess that it was about the science department leadership. Normally he would have been furious that she had appointed Kavanaugh and Jamison. His low opinion of Kavanaugh was widely known and Jamison was as unremarkable as they got. What had Elizabeth been thinking? Rodney didn't want to know.

Rodney grabbed the crutches and made his way towards John's bed in the back of the ward. When he passed by Teyla's bed, she startled at the sound the crutches made.

"Who is it?" Teyla asked, panic shining through her voice. She had her arms raised; looking like she was ready to fight an opponent she couldn't see.

"It's just me, McKay." Rodney said softly, feeling sorry for Teyla.

Teyla lowered her arms and a shaky smile appeared on her face. "It is good to know that you are out of bed, Dr. McKay." She said.

"I didn't mean to startle you." Rodney felt the need to apologise.

"It was nothing." Teyla said too quickly. Rodney could tell that she was embarrassed by her earlier reaction.

"Teyla, Doc?" A voice from the next bed asked. Rodney and Teyla turned.

Aiden was awake, head turned in their direction. He looked pale and bruised, but better than the last time Rodney had seen him.

"Doc, how'd you get here?" Aiden asked and smiled.

"It's a long story." Rodney said and for once he didn't feel like telling it.

Aiden picked up on it. "What's wrong, Dr. McKay?"

"Nothing." Rodney lied. The day was not starting out too well. Not that he was unhappy that Aiden seemed to be doing better. Carson had said that the young Lieutenant was going to recover, but to see him awake and talking was more reassuring.

Dr. Woods came hurrying in their direction, having spotted Aiden awake. He shooed Rodney away and pulled the curtain around the Lieutenant's bed.

"Dr. McKay?" Teyla asked. "Could you help me to go see Major Sheppard?" She manoeuvred herself towards the bedside.

Rodney didn't know what to do.

"Are you sure you can walk over there? There is a wheelchair in the corner; I can get it for you." Rodney offered.

"No, I will walk. I just need you to tell me where." Teyla replied with determination.

She swung her legs over the bedside and stood up. She had to hold on to the bed to remain upright, but she was on her feet. Rodney didn't want to tell her that it wasn't a good idea to walk. If Teyla needed to do this, then he would let her.

"Walk straight ahead." Rodney coached. He let Teyla walk on her own but remained close to catch her, should she fall. Teyla moved slowly, but she made it across the room without falling.

"Now two more steps to the right and then you can feel the back of a chair." Rodney instructed.

Teyla's hand settled on the back of the chair.

"Thank you."

TBC


	29. Fractured

When Elizabeth came into the infirmary, Teyla and Rodney were sitting at the major's bedside, silently watching over the unconscious man. For a moment she remained in the doorframe, watching them. It had been hard for all of them and it had been hardest for Sheppard's team. She hadn't heard a word of protest from Rodney, who was usually complaining before he could think. Carson was worried about Teyla falling into depression. Elizabeth needed them. Atlantis needed them. She couldn't afford to lose them too.

She walked up to Rodney and Teyla.

"Teyla, Rodney." She announced her presence.

"Dr. Weir." Rodney's face took on a defiant look. He usually called her Elizabeth. Elizabeth tried to ignore Rodney. He probably just needed time. She turned to Teyla.

"Teyla, I was wondering whether you had a moment to join me. Dr. Jamison and I were discussing future defence strategies for the City and we thought your expertise might be helpful. Only if you feel up to it, of course." Elizabeth asked in a firm tone.

Teyla tilted her head. "I'm honoured that you would consider consulting me. But I'm afraid I won't be able to assist you in this matter. I'm sure Halling will be able to help you with this." Teyla replied.

Elizabeth wasn't going to take no for an answer. If Teyla thought she was done with Atlantis because she couldn't see anymore, then she was wrong. but for the moment, she was going to leave.

oOo

It had taken Radek over an hour to put up the tent. After storing away all the equipment from the MALP, he really didn't know what to do. He had brought a small pack of personal belongings, which included his laptop and pen and paper. Radek had brought the latter two items to write letter for his family and friends to say good-bye, but now that he had to time, he found it very hard to say anything to say to the people back without revealing anything classified. He couldn't say anything about what he was doing or even how he was going to die. Frustrated, Radek put pen and paper away. He was just going to explore the territory for a while, when the Gate activated. When Rodney and Carson stepped through the blue Puddle, Radek reacted with pleasant surprise.

"Oh, you are coming to visit me in exile."

"We are glad to see you too, Radek." Rodney said. "I brought you something to do. "Carson finally told me what's going on and I'm working on a solution."

Knowing that Rodney was working on something reassured Radek. Rodney must be feeling better if he had a new project.

"The personal shield." He said and pulled out the object.

"I thought of that already." Radek said. "But I don't have the gene. It's useless for me. Besides, it is drained of all power, I thought."

"It's not drained anymore." Rodney triumphed. „And I think I'm close to figuring out a way to fool the shield into thinking that you have the gene after someone with the gene has a activated it." Rodney explained.

"How long do you think it will take?"

"I can't say. It depends on how my tests go. I brought Carson to take a blood sample. I need to it configure the shield. But I won't know it works until I test it."

"What happens if you do get it to work? I can't drink or eat when I wear it?" Radek asked.

Rodney shrugged.

"I'm working on the Ancient medical equipment. Some of it is specifically designed to do complex neurosurgery."

Radek didn't like to idea. "And that is going to work?"

"We can only hope. The Ancient equipment is way beyond anything we know." Carson didn't have anything better to offer.

oOo

The first thing to return was John's hearing. A persistent ringing, like he had been at the firing range without ear protection, or to close to something exploding. John really hoped for the former. Shrapnel was a bitch. Gradually the ringing in his ears subsided, and John could pick up a consisted beeping sound. Beep...beep...beep. He listened. It reminded him of something.

Cardiac monitor. That was it. Hospital. No that wasn't right. There were no hospitals here. This was the Pegasus galaxy. The infirmary on Atlantis.

John opened his eyes. The movement took considerable effort. The familiar ceiling swam into view. Yeah, the infirmary. He had seen this definitely too often. He needed to work on this. Although usually his ending up in Beckett's care was not his fault. After all, why as half the Pegasus galaxy out to kill or maim him?

John couldn't remember who had done him in this time. Hoping to find out, he turned his head to the right and found Rodney sitting in a chair next to his bed, working on something on his laptop. As he watching the tense features of the scientist, it all came back to him in a rush. The dream, Rodney being shot, being at the prison camp, his execution. This had to be another delusion, another dream. It couldn't be real. He couldn't have escaped the pirates.

"Rodney?" John asked. His voice surprised him. He sounded like a frog. His voice was shaky from disuse.

Rodney looked up from his laptop. When he had realized that it was John who had spoken his name, he jumped up from his chair.

"John, you are awake! Are you all right?"

John nodded and reached out a hand, circling around Rodney's wrist.

"What is it John?"

"You have to be careful. Elizabeth and Carson, they don't trust you. Elizabeth is trying to convince everyone that you are crazy; she is trying to discredit you. Please..." John tried to warn Rodney when his voice gave out. Rodney just stared at John.

"Just wait. Take it easy. I think I should get Carson." Rodney was getting more scared every minute. He had thought things would be all right when John woke up, but now that he had, things were very much not all right. He was talking in confusion, making no sense at all. Carson had mentioned that there was the possibility that he had suffered permanent damaged and now Rodney feared that this had come true.

"It's going to be all right John. Carson is going to be here any minute." Rodney tried to free himself from John's grip and pushed the call button.

"Please, Rodney, you have to leave, you don't understand."

Rodney didn't understand what John meant, didn't understand what he didn't understand, but he got the message; John didn't want him to be there. Rodney turned and left.

John looked after him. He was glad that Rodney had finally gotten the message. Carson shouldn't find him here. In fact, he wasn't too eager to be found by Carson either. Figuring that he didn't hurt too badly. He swung his legs over the bedside. He winced when he pulled the IV out of his hand, but he was determined to get out of the infirmary before Carson arrived. He threw a quick glance around, but didn't spot any clothes. He had to make due without them. He just hoped he wouldn't run into anyone.

He got to his feet, firmly holding onto the headboard. When he let go, he swayed for a few seconds, but then he was steady enough to walk.

oOo

The trip to his quarters had been arduous, but John had made it without getting spotted by anyone. As soon as he had locked the door behind himself, he slid to the floor. The short trip had made his muscles burn and his head ache furiously. He was panting like he had just run ten miles. He was badly out of shape.

It was only a matter of time before they would come for him here. His quarters would be one of the first places they would look for him. He had to find a place for himself. John tried to think, but his head started to ache even worse. Part of him had hoped the dreaming would finally end. As his dreams had gone from the pleasant to the nightmarish, he had hoped that would go home again. But no one had come to his rescue. His people had abandoned him. The dreams would only stop after he died of starvation or of the drugs his captors were feeding him.

John was tired, very tired.

oOo

Carson came to a skittering halt in front or John's empty bed. This morning, the man occupying it had been deeply unconscious and it had been questionable whether he would ever come out of it much less whether he would ever be the man he was again. And now he was gone. Something was obviously going on. John couldn't be thinking straight. He would have never left the infirmary in his condition.

Carson went over to Ford who was lying in bed, listening to music on his iPod. When Carson approached, he dropped the head phones.

"What's going on doc?" He asked.

"Did you see what just happened?"

"Not sure. Only that McKay left in a hurry. Sorry, I didn't pay attention." Then Ford noticed that the major's bed was empty. "Where did Sheppard go? I thought he was still unconscious. He was ten minutes ago."

"You are not the only one wondering about the major's whereabouts. I have a feeling that Rodney can tell us something about that." Carson said and activated his radio.

"Rodney, it's Carson. It's urgent. Please answer." There was nothing but static. "Damn, he dropped the radio." Carson cursed. He radioed Elizabeth instead.

"Dr. Weir. It's Beckett. The major's gone missing and I can't reach Rodney. I think Sheppard's in trouble. He needs to be back in the infirmary."

"I thought he was still unconscious." Elizabeth's voice came over the radio.

"He must have just woken up." Carson replied. "I don't know what's going on in his head. He could be suffering from delusions or even vivid hallucinations. It's important that we find him as soon as possible." Carson explained.

"I understand. I will get all available personnel on it now. What happened to Rodney?"

"I'm not sure. He ran out of the infirmary after John woke up. He could be with John."

"Okay, we'll get on it. I'll let you know as soon as we find something."

oOo

Rodney had locked himself in his lab after John had told him in no uncertain terms to leave. When he heard the search call for John, he didn't need to think long. John was confused, he was scared, and he didn't trust Elizabeth or Carson. He would go where no one would be able to find him.

The tower. The North Tower was the highest of all of Atlantis. Atlantis only let John go there. If John wanted to hide, he would go there. Rodney hurried out of his lab and towards the nearest transporter.

oOo

John climbed up the tightly winding stairs. Every step hurt, but the prospect of safety drove him to keep climbing. He had come here before without telling anyone. Not in his version of Atlantis, he fervently hoped this was true for this dream as well.

Finally, he was at the top. He thought the door open, and stepped out on the platform overlooking all of Atlantis. The air smelled of the ocean and a soft breeze waved around him. John took a deep breath and started to relax a bit.

oOo

Rodney took the stairs two at the time, panting and sweating. This time, Atlantis had let him in, as if she knew that John was in trouble and needed his help. The winding staircase seemed endless and Rodney was wearing out quickly. He still hadn't recovered fully from his ordeal back on the planet.

When he reached the door to the platform, Rodney was spent. Seeing John stand peacefully on the platform reassured Rodney somewhat. For a moment he hesitated before thinking the door open. He didn't want to startle John and John had told him to go away.

But John needed help. Carson had said there could be problems, Rodney didn't like it, but he had to look out for John, especially since he was largely responsible.

Rodney quietly stepped out on the platform. John whirled around and a smile formed on his face when he saw Rodney. Rodney took this as a good sign, but his heart sank when John spoke.

"You know, they shot you. For nothing, just like that they shot. I'm trying to save you. But it's pointless since you aren't real. This is just a dream."

"No, John. You have to believe this is real. You were badly injured. You had a head injury."

"My head hurts." John commented lightly and his hand rose to the side of his head where a small patch of hair had been shaved for Carson had cleaned and dressed his head-wound.

"This doesn't make sense." John commented, confusion overcoming his face. He didn't know what to think anymore. "What happened?"

Rodney didn't know what to say,

"It was an accident. Really, it was my fault. I shouldn't have rushed you." Rodney babbled.

"What happened?" John repeated.

"A gun went off. You and Ford were struggling for the gun and it went off. You were kind trying to shoot yourself and he tried to stop you, but it was all my fault, you have to believe that." Rodney realised he had said more than hr should have, like usually when he was nervous.

"It's not real." John repeated. "It's not real." Over and over like a mantra, he repeated the words. Rodney was at the end of his rope, especially since John was moving closer and closer to the edge. When John was about a foot from the edge of the platform, Rodney only saw one way out he lunged at John, grabbing him bodily. For a weakened man, John was surprisingly strong. He had the advantage or years of physical conditioning and the strength of the desperate.

John had Rodney's arms in a vice. Trying to get free, the two men rolled over, getting even closer to the edge. Rodney already saw himself falling over. Fear of imminent death gave him strength he didn't know he possessed and he managed to pry himself lose from John's iron grip. But they had been struggling too close to the edge, when Rodney had freed himself; he had accidentally pushed John over the edge, condemning him to a certain death. When Rodney screamed John's name, it was already too late. Rodney collapsed to the ground and blackness settled over him.

TBC


	30. Decieved

Rodney slowly rose from the bottom of a deep, black lake. A faint light shone through from the surface and became brighter as he rose towards it. His limbs were heavy and numb when he finally broke the surface and opened his eye. Everything around him was dim, and he could only see faint outlines of a small room. Rodney was confused; his mind was still tired from drugs and sleep. One after another, his senses came back to him. He felt soft sheets under his hands. Mute, indistinct noises far in the distance. Leaded tiredness in his muscles. His eyes started adjusted to the low light levels in the room. He was definitely in the infirmary.

The small windowless room was empty, except for a bed, nightstand and the pole holding the IV tacked to his left hand. Rodney tried to sit up, but quickly gave up when he realised that he could hardly lift his hand, much less push himself up. Sleep was already reaching for him, when the first inklings of memory rose in his mind.

He tried to hold on to them. But the images were blurred and fleeting. He could only make out John's face, a sad smile dancing on his lips. He saw John turn on walk towards the edge of the platform he was standing on.

"See you later."

Then John stepped off the platform. Rodney screamed, but he was already lost in his nightmares.

oOo

"How is he?" Elizabeth asked, endless fatigue shining through her voice as she leaned against the wall of the infirmary.

"What he witnessed on the tower, it triggered a breakdown. I sedated him and put him in one of the adjacent rooms. He needs to rest for now. Whatever happened must have been highly traumatic." Carson said gravely.

"Can I talk to him?" Elizabeth asked. "We need to find out where Sheppard is and Rodney is the only one who can tell us."

"It might be days until anyone can talk to Rodney. It's very hard to predict when he will be ready to have visitors. We'll have to see when he calms down enough to reduce his medication."

Elizabeth nodded. "For now we have to assume that Sheppard jumped off the platform. We will search the ocean, but with the current, the chances of finding a body are rather slim."

"That would explain Rodney's reaction. He feels responsible for the major's condition. Seeing him jump could push him over the edge." Carson paused. "How is the research into the implant going? Rodney thought he was getting close to figuring out a solution."

"No one else is getting anywhere." Elizabeth said. "Rodney has been working on his own."

"Typically. He hasn't moved from the major's bedside. I'll take his laptop down to the lab. Maybe someone can figure out what he was working on. It might be the only way to save Dr. Zelenka." Elizabeth considered thoughtfully. She was already leaving when she turned back. "One more thing. I need to talk to Teyla. Did you release her already?"

"She insisted and she is well enough to rest in her quarters. I can't explain why her vision has not returned yet. It looks like it might nit have been a result of her head injury after all. But to be honest I have no idea where to start looking. Teyla agreed to come by later for some more tests."

"Thank you, doctor." Elizabeth left.

oOo

Elizabeth found Teyla in her quarters. The Athosian woman was motionlessly lying on her bed. If her eyes hadn't been open, Elizabeth would if thought her to be asleep.

"Teyla, do you have a moment?" She asked softly, taking care not to startle the other woman.

Teyla sat up with her usual natural grace. Had the focus of her eyes not been slightly off, Elizabeth would not have been able to tell that there was anything different about Teyla.

"I could use your advice." Elizabeth said.

Teyla shook her head. "As I told you before, I cannot help you." A sadness settled over her face.

Elizabeth had the feeling that Teyla would like to help her, but was held back by the limitations of her own beliefs. For the Athosians, the disabled were probably a burden and usually the first to be culled.

Elizabeth decided to be direct. "I don't need your eyes, Teyla. You know the Wraith like none of us do. You are in a unique position to help us, help our people and your people. Please, at least listen to what I have to say."

Teyla hesitated for a moment, then slid of the bed and walked to the door with a security that amazed Elizabeth.

"Let me take you to the briefing room."

Teyla nodded and Elizabeth took her by the upper arm and guided her.

In the briefing room, Dr. Warren and Dr. Woods were waiting for Elizabeth and Teyla. The two doctors had come up with the findings that had inspired Elizabeth's plan. Now all depended on Teyla's abilities and a lot of luck.

"Teyla, Dr. Warren from the computer science department and Dr. Woods from medical are here. They are going to explain what I'm proposing." Elizabeth paused. "At the moment at least one Wraith ship is on its way here. There might be more. We all know that the Wraith are a threat. This won't be the last time they attack. They will come again and again, until they get what they want - access to Earth. We can't let that happen."

Teyla listened. The Wraith were a force of life. Their periodic attacks were woven into the fabric of all life in the Pegasus galaxy. Teyla couldn't imagine what Elizabeth wanted to do about them. The people of Earth were powerful, but even they could not defeat the Wraith.

"We have to attack the Wraith were they are vulnerable. We can't defeat them with weapons, because they are stronger than we are. We can't defeat them with ships, because they have better ships than we have. But they have too vulnerabilities. Their telepathic network and their need for human energy."

"The Wraith can go very long without feeding." Teyla said, not seeing how this could work to their advantage.

"That's true, but they will go wherever they think there are people to feed off."

"You are thinking of a trap?" Teyla realised.

"Yes." Elizabeth smiled. "And we have to make that trap as attractive as possible."

"P3Y-087. A black hole is just beginning to form in the planets orbit. It will consume the planet and eventually the entire solar system. We will just have to lure the Wraith there. We stumbled over this during routine long range scans." Dr. Warren explained.

"To make the Wraith believe that there is something worth their interest on the planet, we need you." Dr. Woods said. "We haven't tested this yet, but we know that you have been able to tap into the Wraith network before. You should be able to do it again and send a message." Dr. Woods said.

Teyla frowned. She waited, but everyone remained silent, waiting for her to speak. "I'm not sure I would be able to connect to the Wraith again. The last time I did, they were very close and I had experienced very unsettling dreams before. It was not a pleasant experience to access to Wraith network." Teyla didn't know how to phrase it.

"I believe that using hypnosis; you will be able to access the part of your brain that deals with your psychic abilities much better than in the conscious state." Dr. Woods explained.

"I wouldn't be asking this, if it weren't important." Elizabeth pleaded.

Teyla nodded. "I will do it. But even if you succeed. You will only wipe out a few ship. The Wraith will soon notice that the planet is a trap." Teyla said.

"We are working on a back-up plan." Dr. Woods replied. "But until we get it working, we need to make a strike now."

"Aren't you afraid that the Wraith will retaliate?" Teyla asked.

"They don't know our position and by the time they do get here, we will be ready." Elizabeth said with confidence. "There is one more thing I wanted to ask you about. Dr. Grodin and I have been going through the Ancient database looking for possible trading partners. Have you ever heard of a people called the Yularans?"

"Only hearsay, I have never met them. They are said to be an advanced society, but I have never heard of them trading with anyone."

"Well, maybe we have something they want. We need powerful allies."

oOo

Rodney drifted awake again. It was like waking from a long deep sleep. He vaguely remembered having been awake before, but he had lost all feeling of time. It could have been an hour or a day ago. The leaden feeling had eased a bit, but his mind still felt sluggish and his body weak.

The tip of a memory was nibbling at him, reminding him that there was something important that he needed to remember, but he could not bring the images to the surface. Everything that had happened before he had woken up disappeared in a white haze.

The door opened and Carson came in. His face was tense with an emotion that Rodney couldn't read. He blamed the fatigue and the drugs.

Carson slowly walked up to the bed as if Rodney might break if he walked too fast.

"Hey." Rodney said to fill the silence. His hoarse voice surprised him. He had no memory of screaming for half an hour before Carson had sedated him.

"Rodney, how are you feeling?" Carson smiled tensely.

"Tired." Rodney replied honestly. He had to fight to keep his eyes open.

Carson no doubt noticed that he was about to drift off again.

"Go back to sleep. You need rest."

"No." Rodney fought against sleep. "What happened?"

"Don't worry; everything is going to be all right." Carson soothed.

Rodney's eyes drifted shut. Before Carson left the room, he was asleep again.

oOo

They sat in Elizabeth's office. Elizabeth was drinking her sixth cup of coffee that day. She couldn't recall the last time she had gotten a full night of sleep. Being tired was becoming normal.

"Rodney doesn't remember what happened. It's not that unusual for people to suppress a traumatic experience."

"Maybe it's for the best if he doesn't know what exactly went down." Elizabeth said, burying her face in her hands.

"Yes, it might be for the best. But eventually, we will have to tell him what happened." Carson reminded her. "We can't put it off forever. He already started asking."

"Did you tell him?"

"No, I think it is too soon. I want to keep him under observation for a while longer. He is still sedated pretty heavily. I'll cut back on the meds tomorrow. After what we saw today, I think taking it slow is definitely the way to go." Carson shuddered to recall Rodney screaming incoherently.

Elizabeth looked up. "We are still searching the ocean. Atlantis is only set up to search for life-signs, so we have to go manual. So far, we have found nothing. It'll be dark in an hour. I don't think it's worth continuing tomorrow. Even if the current hasn't swept away the body until now, it will be gone by tomorrow." Elizabeth said.

"You need to sleep more." Carson scolded. "When was the last time you ate?"

"I don't have time for this. People are dying. The Wraith are out there. I can't afford to sleep. When this is over..." Elizabeth was irritated.

"Six hours won't hurt you." Carson argued

"In six hours, the Wraith will be six hours closer."

"They can't receive the signal anymore. They won't find us." Carson said.

Elizabeth changed the topic. "Did Dr. Woods talk to you?"

"She did. I can't say that I appreciate that I wasn't informed of this project sooner. I don't think..."

Elizabeth raised her hand to stop him.

"Please, Dr. Woods has explained the risks to me. Teyla has agreed to go through with it."

"Dr. Weir, I really think..." Carson tried again.

"I appreciate your concerns, but you don't think you understand how vital this project is for the survival of this mission. It will buy us enough time, to get ready for the Wraith."

"Get ready?" Carson had an ill feeling he wasn't going to like it. He understood Elizabeth's need to protect the members of the expeditions, but she was starting to go too far. They hadn't come to the Pegasus galaxy for this.

Elizabeth seemed to have read his mind.

"None of us wanted this. We all wish that it were different, that we could explore this galaxy. But the moment Sheppard woke the Wraith, they set out to destroy us and make their way to Earth. It's our duty to prevent that, using any and all means necessary."

Carson still shook his head. This was wrong, there were too many risks. They had lost too much already.

oOo

Carson had volunteered to get Teyla from her room. He hoped that he could convince her to change her mind. He doubted the Athosian was fully aware of the risks that she was taking in attempting to make contact with the Wraith.

Teyla was in her room, sitting in the floor, legs crossed. She radiated an air of utter serenity and peace. When Carson stepped in, he knew he couldn't persuade her to change her mind. Still, he would try.

"Teyla, it is time. Dr. Woods needs you in the infirmary."

Teyla rose from the floor in a fluid motion and found the source of the voice without erring.

"Will you guide me?"

"Of course." Carson replied and took Teyla's hand.

"Teyla." He began. "What you are about to do. It is very dangerous. The Wraith could detect your presence in their network. They could harm you in ways we know nothing about. You might not be able to pull back from the connection with the Wraith network. We simply don't know enough about psychic ability to do this safely. There is a big chance this won't even work."

"My father taught me one thing. Never to fear the unknown." Teyla simply said.

Carson needed to know nothing more. Her mind was set. They quietly proceeded to the infirmary. Elizabeth and Dr. Woods were already waiting for them.

"Teyla." Dr. Woods greeted her. "Are you ready?"

"I am." Teyla answered.

Dr. Woods instructed Teyla to lie down and a nurse fixed electrodes so that they could monitor her brainwaves during the procedure.

"Now, try to relax. Just close your eyes. Think of your favourite place. Imagine yourself there and relax."

Carson and Elizabeth quietly looked on.

"you are very relaxed right now. you listen to your mind. Listen closely and relax. Tell me what you hear."

"Many voices. I can't understand them." Teyla replied.

"Find one voice and listen to it. Centre in on it. Follow it." Dr. Woods instructed. "What do you see?"

"It's a ship. They are two weeks from Atlantis. There are 157 Wraith on board. It's a war ship. They are cloaked."

Elizabeth raised an eyebrow at the last bit of information.

"Send the Wraith a message. "The City of the Ancients has been destroyed. The Atlantians have fled to the third planet in the Olthin system.' Then wait." Dr. Woods paused.

"What do you see now?"

"They are changing course. They are communicating with other Wraith, giving them the message." Teyla said.

"You did well. I want you to withdraw from the Wraith and go back to your favourite place. Go back to your favourite place. you are feeling well and relaxed. Where are you now?"

"In my father's tent on Athos."

"Good. Now, come back to Atlantis. you are calm and relaxed. You are back on Atlantis. you wake up calm and relaxed." Dr. Woods instructed.

A few seconds later, Teyla's eyes fluttered open.

"Teyla, everything's all right, you are in the infirmary." Dr. Woods said.

"You did a great job, Teyla." Elizabeth said.

Teyla smiled weakly and closed her eyes again. Carson rushed forwards, joined by Dr. Woods; the two doctors checked the Athosian's vitals.

"She's just asleep. She's probably exhausted." Carson explained to Elizabeth. Elizabeth sighed in relief.

oOo

When Rodney woke again, the light was still dim and he was still tired. He wasn't sure how often he had woken up in the small room, his memory of the previous times he had been awake was fuzzy, but he did recall that Carson had been there at one point. Was it still night? Or night again? Rodney rubbed his head. His head felt like his brain had been replaced by cotton wool and his mouth tasted just like it. He needed something to drink.

He felt terrible. Drugged, sluggish, hot and thirsty. He flipped back the covers to get some cool air. That felt good. He took a deep breath. God, was he tired. As soon as he got something to drink he would go to sleep again. Exerting an enormous effort, Rodney sat up. The dizziness took a minute to fade, but when his head cleared, Rodney felt a lot better than he had before. The cottony feeling had lessened. Carefully, he pulled the IV from his hands. Sure, he would catch hell for that, but he would deal with that later. Now, his mission was finding something to drink.

Once his legs hit the floor, Rodney wondered of he should have stayed in bed. His legs felt like lead. But step by step, he made his way to the door. By the time he was door, the scrubs he was wearing were drenched in sweat and he was panting heavily. After a brief pause, Rodney opened the door and went into the corridor. At the end of the corridor was an open door with light flooding from it. It seemed a hundred miles away.

An eternity later, Rodney reached the door. Now he recognized that it was the back door was the infirmary that led to storage and lab room.

The light was coming from the nurses" station where a lone nurse was reading. She had not yet noticed him; she was absorbed in her book. Two of the beds in the ward were occupied; both occupants appeared to be sleeping. Rodney snuck carefully by the beds and could make out Ford and Teyla. As he went by the row of beds, an image came back to him. John, looking pale, lying motionless in an infirmary bed. He recalled waiting for John to wake up. Teyla had been there too. Rodney was still fuzzy on the details, such as why John was unconscious, but he knew it was serious.

The nurse had noticed him and was coming towards him.

"Dr. McKay! What are you doing out of bed? Is something wrong?" She asked with concern.

"I...I don't know. I think I had a nightmare and I couldn't get back to sleep. Can I have some water, please?" Rodney made up the first thing that came to his mind.

"Mhm, you are already on some pretty strong tranquilizers. I' get you something to drink and then we'll see." She went and got a cup of water.

Rodney drank eagerly.

"Was Major Sheppard already released?" He asked as casually as possible. He wasn't sure because his memory wasn't functioning so great, but when Carson had been there before, he had distinctly ignored his questions. Rodney was determined to find out.

The nurse's face darkened. "No." She hesitated. She knew that Rodney had been very agitated the previous day and she didn't want to upset him any more than necessary, but she had to say something. "He had an accident; I think they are still looking for him." She looked at the ground.

Surprisingly Rodney took it calmly. "What kind of accident?"

"He fell from one of the towers." The nurse whispered. Elizabeth had kept the suicide theory confidential. If it had been a suicide as Carson thought probable, it served nobody if it became public knowledge.

Rodney stood there in silence. He had heard the words, but they had not had the impact he had expected. Inside him, everything had remained cold and still. John was dead. Rodney didn't know what to think or say. He had expected to feel something. But there was nothing.

"I'm going back to bed." He announced and left.

oOo

When Carson came into his room the next morning he was surprised to find Rodney already awake.

"Good morning, Rodney." he said tentatively.

"Good morning, Carson." Rodney said, but didn't smile. Carson didn't know what to make of him. Rodney was far from hysterical, but there was something different about him.

"When can I go?" Rodney asked.

"Well." Carson said. "I'd like you to stay a few more days. Just to make sure that you are going to be all right." Carson said, wondering when the questions would start.

"I'm fine, Carson. I need to go back to work." Rodney said impatiently. "Don't look at me like that. I'm not going to lose it any minute." Rodney snapped.

"Rodney, I realize that this is difficult for you, but give it time. I want you to talk to Kate today." Carson said.

"I can do that." To Carson's surprise Rodney agreed. "But I want to go back to my room."

"Not until Kate says it's okay." Carson insisted.

"Okay, but I want my laptop." Rodney crossed his arms.

oOo

Rodney had come back from taking a shower when Kate was sitting next to his bed.

"Dr. McKay." She greeted.

He just nodded.

"How do you feel?"

"Impatient." He replied truthfully.

"I hear you like your work a lot?" She asked.

"Yes." Rodney agreed. "Can we just come to the point please?"

Kate smiled. "Sure. Do you remember anything what happened yesterday?"

Rodney shook his head.

"You witnessed an extremely traumatic event. When we experience something like this, our conscious memory often suppresses the event."

Rodney nodded.

"That doesn't mean that you won't experience flashbacks or nightmares about the experience." She went on.

So far, so good.

"I want to talk about what happened on your last mission with your team. Dr. Beckett noted that you felt responsible for Major Sheppard's injuries."

Rodney thought before he answered.

"I misjudged a situation and because of this, it escalated and people got hurt. I feel responsible."

"If you were in the same situation again, would you react differently?" Kate asked.

"No...maybe. There wasn't really time." Rodney wasn't sure anymore.

TBC


	31. Tested

Rodney was relieved to be back his own quarters. After Kate had cleared him, he had been allowed to leave. Beckett wanted to see him twice a day for a week and he had two more sessions with Kate, but all that mattered for now was that he was free.

Rodney still felt strange, he had never felt this kind of cold stillness before. He was normally a men of intense and volatile emotions. The internal void was something he was not equipped to deal with.

Rodney decided to cure his ills with work. He had worked through depressions, break-ups, the deaths of both his parents and his divorce. Work healed all wounds by taking his attention of them.

He opened his laptop and opened the file with his notes on the personal shield. It was a problem that needed his attention. He read through his notes, calling back to memory his latest ideas from the previous days where the memories were obscured. He tried to retrace his thoughts and indeed the memory became clearer. He recalled working on the personal shield. He had been sitting in the infirmary, keeping silent vigil next to John's bed. He sensed that was more, something much more important lurking in his subconscious, but he couldn't reach it, no matter how hard he tried to remember. Frustrated he shut his laptop. He was useless. He hadn't been able to save John and he wouldn't be able to save Radek. Rodney got up and headed for the balcony,

Staring out onto the dark ocean, his thoughts involuntarily returned to John. How had it felt to die? Had the force of the impact knocked him unconscious? Or had he felt the icy water swallow him? Had he struggled, fought until the last breath, or had he welcomed the end? Rodney had no idea what had been driving John after he had fled from the infirmary.

He would never know. John was gone. Rodney scanned the lead coloured sky. It looked it like a bad weather was heading their way. Rodney stood on the balcony and watched the sky. As dark clouds moved, he stood and watched, without really registering. When the wind started to pick up, he didn't notice. Nor did he notice the downpour that started two hours later.

oOo

It was only the afternoon of his third day and Radek was already sure that he was about to lose his mind. He had explored the immediate surroundings as far as he could go while he had to check in with Atlantis every few hours. He had discovered nothing of interest. The Gate was located in a dense forest. The woods appeared to be devoid of large animals, as he had noted with relief.

Atlantis had brought good news; they had achieved a successful strike against the Wraith, which had bought them weeks if not more. This had been welcome news, but had gotten no closer to solving his problem; he couldn't return to the City and the Robinson Crusoe stunt wasn't going to cut it in the long term.

Carson hadn't spelled it out, but Radek got gotten the impression that the doctor was concerned about the effects of the implant. The seizure had been frightened Radek more then he liked to admit, not least because he had no memory whatsoever about it happened. He was fairly confident that he had not suffered a repeat occurrence; the medication that Carson had put him on seemed to be doing its job. Radek hoped that the side effects would ease up as Carson had said they'd probably would. He felt tired, exhausted and nauseous, adding only to his misery.

Radek checked his watch for the fifth time in as many minutes. Meals and the scheduled check-ins with Atlantis had turned into the high points of his day. He was hoping for news from Rodney. The last update on his progress had been early the previous day, since then there had been no messages from the scientist and Radek was starting to worry that Rodney's research might not pan out after all. But he wondered why his boss was not keeping him updated, even if the news was bad, Rodney was always ready to throw the facts in people's faces, no matter how brutal it was going to be.

Carson had steadily kept Radek updated on his progress with the Ancient equipment, but he hadn't had much to tell him. Although he had been able to confirm with certainty that the machine they found was indeed an instrument for carrying out neurosurgery, there was still much he didn't know.

oOo

Elizabeth had been watching the computer display for hours. Her eyes itches and every now and then everything blurred together. She rubbed her face and turned back to the display.

It looked like their trap had been a success. Five Wraith ships in the vicinity had headed for the system and three of them had already been lost from their scanners, in all likelihood destroyed by the ever expanding black hole. Of course, the Wraith would eventually notice that their ships kept being destroyed, but every Wraith ship lost was a small victory for Atlantis.

It didn't solve their problems, but it bought them time. Time to find way to defend against the Wraith. Ancient technology had seemed like a sure bet in the beginning, but now Elizabeth had begun to realize that not even the Ancient had managed to accomplish what they were setting out to do - defeat the Wraith. They had to find their own way. Building superior weapons would be hard to accomplish. Most of the science staff of Atlantis agreed that a biological weapon was their best bet. After all, it was what had brought down the Ancients. You didn't have to fight fair, Elizabeth had learned in the Pegasus Galaxy. It wasn't anything like on Earth. You had to fight to survive.

But a viable bio weapon was far from available. They had insufficient data about the Wraith physiology. The Ancient database might be of help there, but it would be several years before all the data was decoded and translated. They couldn't wait that long. The Athosians could provide some information, but not much. The only things they had to work with were their data from the Iratus bug, but the bug had never been examined, and the Wraith parts of Teyla's DNA. Elizabeth was sure the Genii had thought about this topic. But working with them was not an option, even if Elizabeth were not sure they would double-cross her. The people of Hoff had found their own way, but going down this road wasn't acceptable either.

Elizabeth buried her face in her hand. She was utterly exhausted. Even when she had tried to rest for the brief three hours the previous night, she had been unable to get any sleep. She had thought of Radek, John and all the others they had left behind. She had failed them. During the day, rationalisations and the daily routine allowed her to maintain distance, but in the long hours of the nights, the loss of each and every one of them hurt.

The knowledge that they had all known the risk when they had signed on was a cheap consolation. None of them had been prepared for this.

Elizabeth raised her head. She scanned the control room.

"Dr. Grodin. I'll be in my office. Send Sergeant Markham to me as soon as he returns from the mainland." She ordered and left.

There would be time to catch up with some paper work until the Sergeant came back. His team would not have been her first choice to send as a first contact team to the Yularans. Sergeant Markham was a marine and while he knew the meaning of obeying an order, he had no idea how to negotiate a trade. Still, she would send Markham and his team first and see whether the Yularans were even open to trade. If they were, she could always send someone else.

Elizabeth sat down at her desk and opened the first of the many folders piled on her desk. She blinked; everything was blurred in front of her eyes. Just for a moment, she would rest her eyes.

oOo

Rodney was freezing. His bones were made of ice. Icy, wet clothes were weighing him down. Like nail pricks, freezing splatters of rain feel down on his face. The air was filled with the roar of the wind and the roiling of the ocean. Rodney was so very cold.

The Storm! Kolya!

"Elizabeth!" He barely heard his own voice over the sound of the storm. He raised his hands to protect his face from the drops. It was useless; the rain was falling ins sheet.

"...med team now...balcony." Shreds of words fluttered through the air.

Rodney blinked. He saw nothing but water and angry clouds. A face moved over his.

"...can't...you inside." Rodney could only make out parts of what the face was saying, but he was sure that it was not Kolya. He just wanted to be warm again.

Something was spread over him, protecting his chest from the rain.

"Thank..." Rodney whispered to his unknown benefactor.

Suddenly there was noise. Broken voice coming through the storm. They were yelling. More faces were there.

"Rodney! You are going to be all right." That Rodney understood.

oOo

Word must have travelled fast, Carson mused. Less than an hour after Rodney had been whisked to the infirmary, Teyla and Ford had arrived at his bedside. Carson had told them that Rodney was sedated and would not wake up for quite a while, but they stayed regardless.

He could understand why Ford might stay. The young man was still in the infirmary. He had come back from the mission with severe cuts and nasty bite wounds. He had been running a light fever for two days now and Carson was concerned about infection. Ford had a long road ahead of him. It would be months before he would be on duty again. He wasn't sure about Teyla. She hadn't shown up to her appointment to have more tests down to investigate the cause of her continued blindness. And somehow Carson had the impress that since her accident, Teyla seemed to be serene. Not that she hadn't possessed the wisdom of those who had lived a long life in few years before. But she had always had the spirit of a fighter. Now she had stopped fighting. But Carson couldn't call her resign or depressed. He admired Teyla's attitude, but couldn't understand her lack of interest in exhausting all options.

He stood and watched them sitting at Rodney's bed. Everything that had happened, it had only brought them closer together. He hoped that Teyla and Ford could help Rodney. He deeply regretted having given in to Rodney and having released him from the infirmary too early. Kate had said that he seemed to be dealing all right, but now this. When Dr. Jamison had gone to see Rodney about the personal shield and had found him on the balcony out in the freezing rain, he had already been considerable hypothermic. He had to have been out there for hours.

He should have checked up on Rodney, Carson berated himself. Rodney would be fine, physically. Emotionally, Carson had no idea. Sheppard's death had obviously affected the scientist more deeply then they had thought. Carson knew that Rodney blamed himself, but he had had no idea that Rodney would go as far as to harm himself! Carson knew about guilt. He was guilty of genocide. Hoff. He had created something that had wiped out half a planet. There was no excuse for that.

oOo

Rodney finally felt warm again. He had thought he would freeze to death or drown. Or Kolya would shoot him.

Wait. Kolya hadn't been there. That had been another time. He was slow to remember. Gradually the pieces fell into place and Rodney opened his eyes.

Infirmary. He had known that. He noticed Teyla sitting in a chair next to his bed. She sat straight, yet perfectly relaxed. Hearing the rustle of the sheets, she turned.

"Dr. McKay?"

"Hey." He said weakly

"It is good to hear that you are awake again. We were very worried about you. I will get Dr. Beckett." Teyla rose, before Rodney could say anything. His memory was a bit hazy, but from what he did recall, he know it wasn't going to be good.

A minute later Carson arrived at his bedside. He smiled, but it didn't quite reach his eyes. Rodney didn't bother to smile in return. He really didn't feel like it.

"How are you feeling, Rodney?" Carson asked.

"Okay." It wasn't even a lie.

"Do you remeber what happened?"

"Not everything. Something about being out on the balcony, it was raining." Rodney kept his tone light.

Carson sat down at the chair Teyla had used before.

"This could have been a lot more serious, Rodney. You might not appreciate it right now, but you are lucky that Dr. Jamison found you when she did." Carson said gravely. "We are your friends; you could have come to us."

Rodney swallowed. "I think you are getting this wrong, Carson. I just sorta spaced out. I wasn't doing...trying to kill myself or anything."

"It's nothing to be ashamed of. We'll help you every step of the way." Carson looked at him full of sympathy. Rodney grimaced. Whatever he said, Carson wouldn't believe him. He would think it was all denial. he decided to change the subject instead.

"When can I get out of here?"

Carson hesitated. He had sprung Rodney too soon the last time; he wasn't going to make that mistake again.

"We'll see about it in a few days."

"A few days! I feel fine, Carson." Rodney said sharply.

"Maybe you really don't realize what happened, but you are a smart man Rodney. You stood in the freezing rain for hours until you collapsed and your body's vital functions were nearly comprised? That goes against every survival instinct! What do you think you were doing?"

"I think I was waiting to feel something." Rodney whispered. Now he remembered standing on the balcony, thinking of John, dead, drowned and he had felt nothing.

Carson sighed softly. "I'm going to call Kate and ask her to come by later. This is way out of my field of expertise."

"I don't think she can help." Rodney said dejectedly. He just wanted to be alone.

oOo

Elizabeth was woken by the insistent chirping of her radio. Alarmed, she jerked away, pain shooting through her back. She blinked and took in her surroundings, she was in her office. Suddenly remembering, she tapped her radio.

"This is Weir."

"Beckett. You should come here immediately." Carson sounded tired and worried, a bad combination.

"I'll be there."

Elizabeth got up, her body rigid from having slept in a sitting position. She stifled a yawn. The fatigue was still lingering, she had only won a small victory. Making a bee-line to the cafeteria to get fake coffee, Elizabeth headed for the infirmary.

There she found a desperate Carson.

"Rodney's gone." He ambushed her as soon as she was through the door.

"What do you mean gone?" Elizabeth didn't understand.

"Oh, you didn't know. I called you on the radio but you didn't answer, I thought I'd let you sleep."

"If there was an emergency, I'd expect you to wake me." Elizabeth reminded Carson.

"Dr. Jamison found Rodney on the balcony next to his room. He'd passed out. He's probably been out there for hours in the freezing rain."

"How is he?"

"We got him warmed up. He was upset this morning when I talked to him about what happened. When I went to talk to Kate, he must have snuck out. I didn't think he'd be that determined..." Carson trailed off.

"We will find him." Elizabeth promised, knowing as well as Carson that she might not be able to keep it.

Elizabeth tapped her radio.

"Grodin. I need everyone availa..." Elizabeth's legs gave out under hear and she collapsed into a heap.

Carson rushed over to her, checking for a pulse, he found one, albeit a bit slow.

"Dr. Woods, I need a hand here." he called for his colleague in the other room.

Dr. Woods promptly walked over and when she saw the scene she went to assist Carson with getting Elizabeth on a bed.

Carson nodded to Dr. Woods to go ahead while he tapped his radio.

"Dr. Grodin, we need everyone you have to search for Dr. McKay."

"Dr. Beckett? What happened? Where is Dr. Weir?"

"She just collapsed." Carson replied briefly.

oOo

Rodney had gathered all the equipment he needed and was now headed for his destination. He was taking the 'covert' route, through an unpopulated section of Atlantis that stretched behind the science department. He wouldn't run into anybody there. He knew that they would start looking for him soon. It would take a little while for them to realize that they couldn't find his signal with the central computer. But if anyone bothered to sniff around, his little add-on would easily be found.

The doors of the transporter opened and he stood at the foot of the North Tower. It was purely his instinct that told him that Atlantis would allow him to enter the tower that was normally only accessible to John.

He climbed the steps as quickly as he could, trying to quell the memories that were stirring under the surface. The eerie sense of familiarity told him he had been here before. He could almost feel that he had climbed these very steps before and when he reached the door to the platform, for a moment, he could see John on the platform. He thought the door open and stepped out. The air was cold and the breeze was strong. He overlooked all of Atlantis. The City that had lasted for ten millennia on the bottom of an ocean. For a moment, Rodney couldn't help but marvel at the perfection of science and architecture that had created this structure. How perfect was the City? Rodney thought of the personal shield. Everything Ancient came with failsafes. Everything?

Rodney put down his back pack and pulled a pyramid shaped device from it. He concentrated briefly and a ray of light shot from the pyramid.

They had found the Ancient device in one of the lab on Atlantis. Other than being a source of light, and therefore energy, had didn't seem to have a purpose. It was perfect for what Rodney had in mind. The Ancients had built things to last forever, right?

Rodney stepped up to the edge of the platform and tossed over the Ancient light, making sure it would land in the water. It quickly disappeared from his sight and he couldn't tell for sure whether or not it had hit the water. Rodney pulled out his scanner, looking for the energy signature of the Ancient light. There was no sign of it. Not what he had hoped for, but not what he had dreaded. The result left open several possibilities to consider. One, the device impacted with the ocean and was destroyed. Possible, but it had been made out of Naquadah, the same material as the Stargate. Virtually indestructible. Two, the device had sunk and the signal was too faint, Possible, but also not likely, the scanner was Ancient made. They worked planet wide. Three, the device had gone elsewhere. Where their his scanner couldn't penetrate. Atlantis? The City was the size of Manhattan; they would need years to explore it all. Anything could be down there beneath him. Rodney gazed down. They had truly come to a world of wonders. Who could have known that most of them were deadly and ugly?


	32. Locked

Dr. Grodin entered the infirmary looking for Carson. The CMO had paged him down to the infirmary. Peter was hoping for good news. Elizabeth had collapsed almost an hour ago and since then everything seemed to have turned upside down. Dr. McKay had gone missing and nobody seemed to be able to find him, not even Atlantis' computer. The rumours were that there'd been another suicide. Peter could use some good news. He headed towards Carson who was standing with Lieutenant Ford.

"Dr. Beckett?"

"Ah, Dr. Grodin. I'll be by later, Lieutenant. Let's go to my office." Carson led to way.

Once the two men had taken seats, Carson began.

"The good news is that Elizabeth should be fine. But to tell the truth, I'm very concerned that things got this far without anyone noticing. Elizabeth couldn't have gotten more than a few hours of sleep over days. Eventually, that kind of thing catches up with a body. Add to that a diet of coffee and the kind of stress Elizabeth has had this past week, she's been pushing herself too hard."

Peter could feel with that. After only an hour of being in charge of the City, he was already starting to feel tense.

"She is also running a low grade fever. Probably caught some bug. But to by sure, we are running tests."

Peter paled. Please, no, not another outbreak in the City.

Carson read him easily. "It's not contagious; the City would have picked up on it.

Peter got up from his chair. "I have to get back to the control room. We are still searching for Dr. McKay, so far no luck.

"I hope you find him." Carson was worried for his friend. Rodney was an intense man and Carson feared that recent events had left him deeply upset

oOo

Rodney slowly packed up his equipment and shouldered his pack. He was done here. He knew what he needed to know. He made his way towards the door leading to the staircase down the Tower.

By now, Elizabeth would have team looking for him all over Atlantis. He'd catch hell for pulling a stunt like this. Elizabeth would probably chew him out and then ship him off to the infirmary, Rodney thought grimly. He just hoped that she would listen to him. All he needed was a chance to talk to her, to tell her what he knew. It had to be enough to convince her to investigate further. Rodney had already started to device possible methods of finding out how the City's failsafe system worked. All he needed was a few hours of time. After that, he'd go back to the infirmary. Those few hours would be enough to find John if he'd been right and the City really did have a failsafe that prevented people from plunging to their deaths or it would enough to prove that he had been wrong. In that case John was really dead and there was nothing he or anyone could do.

Rodney reached the foot of the Tower still lost in thought. On autopilot he stepped into the transporter and ordered it to level 38, the level where the science labs were located. He followed his usual path to his lab, his mind already on the task ahead when someone bumped into him.

"Can't you..." Rodney started but was interrupted.

"McKay!" Kavanaugh didn't regard him with the usual mix of disdain and arrogance but with utter surprise.

"What the hell are you doing here?"

It was the first time that Kavanaugh had Rodney stumped for words. Rodney was about to escape down the corridor when Kavanaugh grabbed him by the arm.

oOo

"I'm fine. Can't you just leave me alone?" Rodney protested as Carson was about to draw blood.

"It's for your own safety, Rodney. You might have been exposed to something during your last mission."

Rodney sneered. He didn't have time for this.

"I haven't been exposed to anything and you know it. Now, I need to talk to Elizabeth. It's urgent." Rodney said; ready to hop down from the exam table. Every minute that he was wasting with Carson was could count for John. What if her was confused, like the last time Rodney had seen him? Unable to make contact with them? They need to figure this out as soon as possible.

Carson seemed to realise his patient's intentions and put a hand on Rodney's shoulder.

"Elizabeth collapsed about an hour ago. But we think she is going to be all right. Now, give me your arm." Carson demanded.

Rodney reluctantly did as asked.

"I need to talk to however is in charge. Bates? Grodin?" Rodney went on.

"You need to relax. You went through a lot in the last few days. I think you should talk to Kate again later today. After you have rested." Carson said in a reassuring tone.

"You don't understand, Carson. I can't rest. I think I have figured out what happened to John." Rodney insisted.

"Rodney." Carson sat down next to Rodney. "None of us can really understand what the major did. If there were any sighs, we missed them all. This is not your fault. Sheppard must have seen no other way out. And for some reason he chose not to come to us." Carson set out to continued, but then thought better of it.

Rodney picked up on it.

"And what? You were going to say something else."

"It's just a theory right now. You and Sheppard were the only ones with the Ancient gene one the pirates planet. Within days of coming back, you both start showing suicidal behaviour. There might be a biological agent involved. But, it might just be coincidence. There is no way of predicting how people react to traumatic events."

Rodney didn't point out that he didn't think that he was in fact suicidal. Right now, he didn't care what Carson thought, as long as he listened to him.

"Carson, please listen to me just for one minute. I didn't run away from the infirmary to try and kill myself. I needed to test a theory. I went up to the North Tower."

Carson visible paled.

Rodney could tell what he was thinking.

"No, not to do that. John fell from there, right? I took one of these Ancient lamps and tossed it into the ocean. But I lost its energy signature before it hit the water. It's proof that there has to be some sort of safety net. I don't know what happens; I couldn't find the energy signature of the lamp anywhere. I need to run more tests to find out. John isn't dead. I think he went wherever the lamp went." Rodney's tone bordered on pleading.

Carson looked at Rodney. He wanted his friend to be right, if there was a chance that John was still alive, that the City had somehow saved him...

But he was also worried about Rodney's extreme shift in mood. He had gone from suicidal depression to manic excitement in an awfully short time. He was afraid that Rodney was going to crash, hard.

"All right. You are out, for now. But I want you to talk to Kate as soon as possible."

"I'll gladly talk to her once this is over." Rodney agreed and hopping of the exam table.

oOo

"We could repeat McKay's earlier experiment with a stronger energy source and use the central computer to track it. It should give us more accurate results." Dr Jamison proposed.

Drs. Kavanaugh, Jamison and McKay were assembled in the lab, working feverously on a way to figure out the safety net of Atlantis.

"The problem wasn't the energy source or the scanner." Kavanaugh said.

McKay's head started to ache. Since he was no longer the chief of the science division, his authority with Kavanaugh had plummeted to an all new low.

"This is not going to work." Rodney declared. "We have to get there with a team."

"You are not saying that we jump?" Kavanaugh laughed. "You really are suicidal!"

"No, we pretend that we are falling. With a Jumper. Take it into a tail spin and wait for Atlantis to catch us."

"Good luck finding a pilot that's crazy enough to do that. Shame Sheppard isn't around anymore." Kavanaugh commented.

Rodney glowered at him then got back to the issue at hand. "Let's hope that we can get the Jumper dropping fast enough for the net to activate. The shield should help a bit if we do crash into the ocean."

Rodney started scribbling on his notepad, calculating the force of the impact should there be a crash into the ocean.

oOo

The clatter of instruments and the chatter of voices woke Elizabeth. She opened her eyes and the ceiling of the infirmary came into view. Everything seemed to swim and a wave of dizziness assaulted her. Elizabeth quickly shut her eyes again. Her sense of equilibrium balanced out and she took inventory of her body. Her head ached duly and a deep fatigue permeated her entire body, but she seemed uninjured.

Elizabeth was about to drift off again when she heard footsteps approach her. She risked another glance. This time, everything held steady as Carson approached.

"Dr. Weir, good to see you awake. How are you feeling?"

"Tired. My head aches." Elizabeth replied honestly. "What happened? I feel asleep in my office."

"Not exactly. Grodin found you passed out." Carson's tone grew more serious. "You have been running yourself into the ground. You aren't sleeping, hardly eating. The human body wasn't made for this."

"Carson, I can't afford to rest, none of us can. It's only a matter of time until the Wraith get to Atlantis and after we lost Major Sheppard and Dr. Zelenka, it hasn't exactly gotten easier." Elizabeth explained firmly, pushing herself up.

"Everyone else is finding the time to get at least six hours of rest at night. You are of no use to the City if you can hardly keep yourself on your feet. Why are you doing this to yourself?" Carson asked, hoping that Elizabeth would open up to him.

"I don't have any choice. We have to do everything to keep the Wraith away from Earth." Elizabeth shrugged off Carson question. "When can I get back to work?"

"You were running a temperature yesterday. We'll see how you are doing today. You need more rest. Do you think you are up to eating something?"

Elizabeth swallowed down the nausea. "I think so."

"I'll have a tray sent down for you. Should I tell Kate to come by later today?" Carson knew that Elizabeth had been seeing the psychologist in the past.

"This is not something Kate can help with." Elizabeth replied.

Carson nodded. He would call Kate anyways. Maybe she could get Elizabeth to talk about what was really bothering her.

Carson finished his exam of Elizabeth, ordered some food from the cafeteria and then made his way to the medical lab.

oOo

Markham looked apprehensive and Carson looked positively green as their Jumper hovered in position over Atlantis. Only Rodney seemed to take no note of the tension in the air. He was still typing furiously on his laptop.

"One more minute, Sergeant." He mumbled between the clicking of keys.

Markham didn't look any more confident at the prospect of McKay hammering out that details of their plan while they were already in the air.

"What exactly are you doing?" Carson asked, shooting an anxious look over at Rodney.

"Working on the timing for Plan B." Rodney replied. "I have no idea when the net is going to catch us, so if the sergeant pulls us up to soon, we might miss it. I'm working out the perfect timing allowing us the longest fall without crashing into the ocean. It's not humanly possible to time it this exact, so I'm going to program the autopilot." Rodney walked over to the controls and started moving his hands above them. Less than two minutes later, he stepped away with a look of satisfaction on his face.

"All done. Let's go. The dampeners will balance out the gravity we'd experience in the fall. You won't notice anything." He said mostly for Carson's benefit.

"All right. Go!" Markham announced.

There was a slight tug and a few moments later and everything went white.

oOo

Someone was touching him. Rodney opened his eyes and was looking at Carson leaning over him.

"Carson?"

"Ah, you're awake." Carson stated.

"I hadn' t thought." There was a pause until Rodney realised. "It worked!" He pulled out his scanner.

In the front, Markham was slowly coming around. Carson went to make sure the pilot was all right while.

"This can't be!" Rodney exclaimed. "There is just nothing!"

"What do you mean nothing?" Markham asked. Nothing was not good.

"No energy signatures, no life signs, nothing." Rodney was frantically punching buttons.

"We're stuck in a vacuum?" Carson asked horrified.

Rodney frowned. "No, of course not. Who said anything about that?"

"You..."

"The atmosphere is about 17 oxygen out there. Nothing toxic. It should be safe. Temperature is friendly, 21degrees. Celsius that is."

"What else?" Markham asked, clutching his P90.

"That's what I have been saying all the time. There is just nothing. No life signs, no energy readings, no magnetic fields, no radiation."

"That's goods though." Carson said.

"But not natural. Remember Earth, that tiny blue planet?"

"Rodney!" Carson admonished.

"There is nothing out there.

"Will you stop it?" Carson's week had been entirely too long. He had been thrown around by a Wraith, had believed on of his friends lost for good, had a patient die, failed to be able to help another patient and now he was stuck in a Jumper and Rodney had gone crazy.#

Markham turned out the be the voice of reason.

"Well, then let's take a look at 'nothing'."

It was pitch black outside, but as soon as Carson stepped out, the light flickered on. Now illuminated was a spacious hall that was reminiscent of the control room, just without the Gate. Rodney headed straight for the cluster of computer consoles at one end of the room while Markham checked out the entire room. As the life sign detector had already indicated, they were alone. There was no sign of John.

Rodney leaned over the dark consoles. Not a speck of dust had gathered on the surface in ten thousand years. It was simply amazing. He concentrated, trying to activate the console, but it remained still and lifeless.

He pulled out his scanner again. Now he could detect a faint energy reading, too faint to be a ZPM, probably some sort of power module that kept the lights powered.

A few minutes later, Rodney joined Caron and Markham by the Jumper.

"It's not working. All dead. The scanner is no use, there is something messing with it. I should pick up readings all over the place. This could be some shelter with independent power and shielding." Rodney theorized.

"You're saying that we aren't on Atlantis anymore?" Markham asked.

"Yes. It's clearly Ancient as you see, but it's not exactly like Atlantis. I took a look at the consoles, and it's slightly different technology, as far as I can tell. The power source might be depleted, but I can't tell. This is nothing that I can work out in the short term." Rodney admitted.

"I'm not sure if anyone has noticed this, but we are trapped here." Carson pointed out, sounding anything but happy.

"There has to be a way out." Rodney claimed. "We are here to find John. He has to be somewhere. We can figure out how to get out of here later."

Markham insisted that they not split up, so they all followed one of the corridor that led away from the hall they had found themselves in. As they followed along the corridor, they found the compound to be very similar to Atlantis. After a section containing what looked like crew quarters, they passed through storage areas. After three hours, they took a break. All they corridors had looked the same. The compound seemed to stretch for miles underground.

When they resumed their trek, it was early morning Atlantis time. After miles of monotone walls, the hallway suddenly broadened and opened the view to a room with glass walls.

They stood and stared. It looked like a mixture between an infirmary and a medical lab. At the centre was control console, equipment, machinery and a few beds were set up around it. Rodney was the first to see the figure on the bed on the far corner.

"John!"

Carson and Markham didn't known what was going on.

"He is in there." Rodney ran and slammed his hand against the door release mechanism. Nothing budged.

"Damn. No." He tried again, but nothing. He pried the panel loose and starting rearranging crystals at top speed.

Ten minutes later, Rodney gave up. There was simply no power. He sank down against the wall. He'd come so close.

oOo

They had tried to kick the glass door in, they'd even tried to shoot their way through them, but aside from Markham breaking a toe and Carson almost being hit by a ricochet, they accomplished nothing. They stood outside and Sheppard was inside.

"He's definitely alive." Rodney stated. "The life sign detector is picking him up."

"But how'd he get in there?" Markham said, leaning on his good foot.

"I have no idea." Rodney had to admit. "How bad do you think Sheppard is, Carson?"

"There is really no way of telling. But he was in no immediate danger the last time I had a chance to examine him. But there could still be complications from his head injury."

Rodney thought of the fear and confusion and the violent delusions John had been trapped in after waking up in the infirmary. He was going to need all the help he could get.

"I'm going back to the control centre." Rodney said. "If there is a chance of getting the systems back online, it will be from there."

"I'll come with you." Markham said.

"You'll do nothing of the sort." Carson intervened. "You're going to stay off that foot. It's a three hour march back to that control centre. I'll go with Rodney."

"Really, you should stay Carson. Sheppard will need you as soon as I get this place powered up."

"I just hope we are really alone down here." Carson muttered.

oOo

Rodney crouched down in front of the opened panel. One look at it told him that there was something seriously wrong and that this had not been caused by an accident.

A number of crystals had been removed clean. There was no way the system could be powered up even if there was a ZPM with sufficient power.

Rodney's gaze fell on the Puddle Jumper. There might be a way to get the system to power up. The crystals themselves would be of no use, but the power array, he might be able to use it to bridge the missing crystals. That was if he didn't overload the whole thing.

But he would have one shot only. The array was going to fry and with it, the Jumper would become a useless piece of junk.

Rodney tapped his radio. "Carson, Markham. I might have found a way to get this place powered up, but you are not going to like it."

TBC


	33. Powered Up

Elizabeth was trying to read, but she couldn't focus. She had been reading the same page for over half an hour without actually taking in its content. Frustrated, she put her book down. Carson had left strict instructions for the medical staff that she was to rest. She had managed to talk Dr. Woods into letting Grodin give her an update, for good reason as she had found out.

The prospect that John might be alive after all did little to reassure her. Seeing her people yet again gone on a rescue mission into the unknown reminded her off sending off the team after Sheppard and the others a week ago. You didn't leave your people behind. John had told her that soon after they had arrived in the City and Sumner had been lost. She had given in to him and had sent a team to retrieve the military leader. The price had been steeper than they had been able to imagine and Sumner had still died. Sheppard had woken the Wraith and they had learned about their home galaxy and the six billion lives on Earth.

The moment the Stargate had been opened, Earth had become vulnerable to enemies more terrible than anything that had ever been seen before. Elizabeth had never doubted that the government had been right in taking to risk and exploring other planets. They had gone to the Pegasus galaxy in the hopes of finding answers to question back in their home galaxy. Instead they had only found a new enemy, a new threat to Earth. But opening the Stargate had opened a can of worms that they couldn't close again just because they wanted to. They were out there now.

Elizabeth only noticed Kate when she sat down in the chair next to her bed. Elizabeth looked at the psychologist, but said nothing. She didn't feel like talking.

"Carson thought you might want to talk." Kate said softly. "We haven't talked in while."

"It's been busy." Elizabeth said lamely.

"Have your nightmares come back?" Kate referred to the dreams that had started soon after the storm.

Elizabeth shook her head. "I don't have time to sleep."

Kate let her answer pass without comment. "How are you handling what happened to Dr. Zelenka, Major Sheppard or Teyla?"

Elizabeth hesitated. "It's been difficult. Radek...no one should have to go through that."

"Is the science team any closer to find a way to help him? Kate asked.

"Rodney has a few ideas, but he..." Elizabeth trailed off. She looked up at Kate.

"We should never have come here. Everyone is out to kill us. The Wraith, the Genii, those pirates and now something might have affected the major and Rodney. We are not ready to be out here. I can't protect us."

"You are not alone, Elizabeth." Kate reminded her.

"Sheppard's probably dead, Teyla's blind, Radek's gone and Rodney's suicidal. It's falling apart. We are falling apart."

oOo

Rodney checked the crystals one last time before tapping his radio.

"Carson, Markham. I have it set up now. There is a small chance that this will trigger a chain overload, so you better move away from any doors or computer panels."

"What about you?" Carson's voice came over the radio.

"I won't trigger an overload. Get ready."

"We are." Markham replied.

"All right, here we go." Rodney said. He switches his radio to VOX before he activate to power array. Then he stepped back and thought 'on',

oOo

Markham and Carson had stepped back into the corridor after Rodney's warning,

They heard a faint click over the radio and Carson already felt a wave of relief when suddenly a deafening explosion mixed with a mangled scream made his ears ring.

"Rodney! Rodney! What's going! Rodney!" Carson yelled, but received only static.

"His radio could have been damaged." Markham remarked hopefully.

Carson fervently hoped this was the case, but he knew better. In this moment, the compound came to life. The lights came on to full power and inside the lab, displays sprung to life and consoles powered up. Carson stepped up to the door and pressed the opening panel. This time, there was a soft noise and the door opened.

"Take care of the major." Markham ordered. "I'll go for McKay."

"That's crazy. You can't walk that far."

"We don't have a choice." Markham protested. "We don't know what happened. McKay could be badly injured."

"All right. Let me at least tape up your foot before you leave." Carson insisted and already started rummaging in his bag.

Markham silently gave in and let the doctor work. Five minutes later, he was ready to leave for the central control room.

"Check in every half-hour." He instructed Carson. "Take good care of the major." With that he disappeared in the corridor.

Carson stepped into the medical lab. It vaguely resembled the labs that they had seen on Atlantis, but the similarities were mostly in the design of the technology. As he examined the consoles in the centre, he found the displays to be written in Ancient but the text was littered with awkward constructions and unfamiliar words. Carson frowned. He didn't understand Ancient as well as Elizabeth or some of the linguists who had specialised in the language, but even before he had come to Atlantis he had started to study the language and had a fairly good grasp of it. But right now he was stumped and wished for one of the linguists to help him make sense of this mess.

Carson left the control consoles for the moment and went over to John. John lay on a bed, unmoving except for the slow, minute movement of his chest. Carson reached to check John's pulse, but a few inches from John's body, his hand slammed into something solid. For a moment, the invisible object he'd touched glowed blue, then faded again. Carson tried a second time, but there was no mistake about it, John was behind some sort of force flied.

There was a control panel behind the bed. Carson went over to take a closer look at it. This was a display he was familiar with - it showed John's vitals. For a moment, Carson was puzzled. John should be dead if the readings were correct. His temperature was hovering a few degrees above freezing, impossible for human life. His pulse was at less than ten beats for second and with less than five breath per minutes, it should be impossible to sustain life. Except if John was in stasis. The force field could be an alternate form of a stasis chamber.

The question was just how? Inducing stasis wasn't easy and there were considerable risks. It took the proper cocktail of drugs, perfect timing and experience or luck to lower to temperature at just the rate right.

Carson studied the panel. He should be able to revive John if he understood everything right. It seemed that there was an automatic program for the process. Carson hesitated. Who had put John into stasis and why?

Carson went back to the centre console. When he tried to bring up a map of the room, there was a whooshing noise behind him. Carson whirled around and came face to face with a woman. She wore a simple white dress and had long dark red hair. Only after a few seconds, Carson realised that she was a projection.

"We welcome you to Gaylen. We made this recording for our descendants. We preserved Gaylen to on day pass it on to you. This day has come now." The projection paused.

"You are now in the Medical Research Lab 1. There are nine Medical Research Labs in Gaylen. Lab 1 is a neurological research lab, Lab 2 is a viral and bacterial research lab, Lab 3 is diagnostic research lab, Labs 4 and 5 are pharmaceutical research labs, Lab 6 is a nano technology lab, Lab 7 is dedicated to the damaged caused by the Wraith, Lab 8 is a surgical research and Lab 9 is for Ascension research. Gaylen has a medical centre located on Level 4."

A three-dimensional plan of the installation appeared in the air. It was huge. As soon as it had appeared it vanished again.

"At the first station to the left of the door, one of our researchers was exploring the telepathic potential of several native races, including the Athosians and the Idkan. He developed a devised that measures telepathic ability and..."

Carson shut off the projection. They could listen to all this when they had time. Obviously there was valuable information that they could use on Atlantis, but someone else could look into it.

His job was to take care of John. They couldn't move him in stasis. Were he in a pod, they would be able to take him to Atlantis, but this force field made transport impossible. Carson initialized the revival process.

oOo

Markham could smell that something had blown up or burned a few corners away from the central control room. He stepped up his pace, ignoring the pain in his foot. He had made good time so far, he had been even faster than they had been on their first trip. Only two hours and ten minutes and he was almost at the control room. Markham ran the last meters, grinding his teeth against the pain.

A cloud of smoke enveloped the computer consoles and Markham could hear the crackling of flames as he run closer. Pieces of debris were strews in a wide radius on the floor. Rounding the console, Markham finally found Rodney. The scientist had had the presence of mind to activate the systems from the other side of the console, protecting him from the worst of the explosion.

Still, Rodney was sprawled in the ground, bleeding from a gash on the side of his head. His face and upper body was littered with small cuts and burns. The burns had blistered and Markham thought he'd heard that burns weren't too deep if they blistered.

Markham felt for a pulse and tapped his radio.

"Dr. Beckett. I've found him. It looks like whatever he put together blow up and knocked him out. He's bleeding and looks burnt."

"Can you describe his injuries for me?" Carson asked over the radio.

"Yeah. He's bleeding from the side of his head. Looks pretty serious."

"Head wounds tend to bleed a lot. Check his pupils, can you tell me if they are the same size?"

There was some indistinct noise then Markham was back. "Yeah, they look the same."

"Good, his head injury isn't too serious. It probably looks worse than it is. Now what about his other injuries?"

"He's got lots of cuts and what looks like burns all over his face. In some of them, there is what looks like tiny piece of shrapnel. "

"What about the area around his eyes? Any blood, swelling, debris or blisters there?" Carson asked.

"Everything's starting to swell up, Doc. But yeah, there are blisters and some strange silver flecks stuck in him." Markham replied in his best soldier voice.

There was a pause before Beckett replied.

"There is a chance that he might have gotten something into his eyes when that bloody thing of his blew up. You'll need to rinse out his eyes. Hopefully it's not too late for that."

"Just tell me what to do." Markham replied firmly.

"You have your canteen? It's not ideal, but it's all we have. Carefully roll him on his side, but look out for his head. Hold open his eye open and rinse it with water. Then turn him on the other side and repeat with his other eye."

"Understood." Markham replied crisply. Carson heard shifting noises and the sound of water being poured. When Markham was done, Carson proceeded with his instructions.

"Rodney might still have something in his eyes that we can't get out now. Take some gauze pads and then bandaged his eyes shut. Rodney's not going to like that, but it's for his own good."

"Can I take his head wound in the same go?"

"That's okay; just don't make it too tight." Carson instructed.

Markham had just finished wrapping Rodney's head when the scientists emitted a low groan.

"Dr. McKay? Dr. McKay?" Markham asked, trying to get the man's attention, but Rodney only shifted restlessly on the floor and continued groaning. When he raised a hand to manipulate the bandage over his eyes, Markham caught him.

"Lemme...can't...see." Rodney muttered and started struggling against the sergeant's grip.

"Dr. McKay, clam down. You have been injured, lie still."

"Blind, I can't be blind." Rodney whimpered, but his body stilled.

"Dr. Beckett doesn't think you are blind, it's just a precaution." Markham explained.

"Where's Carson?" Rodney asked sounding strained.

"He's with Major Sheppard. Whatever you did powered up the systems like you said." Markham explained.

"I have to take a look at the central computer console; there could be a YPM here." Rodney worked to sit up with Markham's help.

"Are you sure that is such a good idea?"

"Do you want to get out of here or not?" Rodney snapped. "Help me up."

Markham reluctantly complied and hoisted Rodney to his feet. "It's over there." He led the man over the console. While the power array had exploded and its remains were still smouldering, the Ancient technology was unmarred.

Rodney shuffled forwards in tentative steps, walking into the console. He forced himself to calm down. Not being able to see what was going on made him nervous.

"Are you all right, Dr. McKay?" Markham asked.

"No, I'm not all right!" Rodney returned angrily and concentrated on what was in front of him. The smooth surface felt warm and alive. He thought about the compound, about the corridors and the rooms and a structure started forming in front of his mental eye.

Sixteen levels. Labs, crew quarters, some sort of launching bay on the lowest level, the power core on level 8 and another hall, probably some sort of control centre on level two. The image faded from Rodney's mind. His whole body hurt. He desperately wanted to lie down, but he had to find a way to get them back to Atlantis. He went back to the Ancient computer. The technology wasn't the same as in Atlantis, but this place was responding to his mind and while the language seemed almost like broken Ancient, the images spoke clearly. He laid his hands on the surface and focussed again.

oOo

John's temperature and blood pressure were starting to approach the normal range again, his pulse and respirations had picked up as well.

With a beep, the revival cycle finished and the force field around John glowed blue and then vanished. Carson immediately reached to feel John's pulse. He could only confirm what the computer had already told him, John should be waking any moment.

In the same moment, John started to stir. A few seconds later, his eyelids fluttered.

"Major Sheppard, can you hear me? If you can hear me, just squeeze my hand." Carson had taken John's hand in his. First, nothing happened then the other man's fingers tightened around his.

"Good. You have been injured on a mission, major." Carson was not sure what John could remember. The last time he had regained consciousness, he had seemed to have no memory of the mission. Instead he'd been confused and delusional.

"Doc..." John managed

"Don't talk yet. Just squeeze my hand if you are in pain."

Again, John squeezed Carson's hand.

"All right, I'll give you something for that in a moment." Carson prepared in injection, keeping it on the light side. There was no way of knowing when they needed to move and John would need to be as lucid as possible.

"Rest." Carson ordered as he gave John the injection.

Seconds later, John drifted off into unconsciousness again.

Carson leaned back on the bed next to John's. John had been responsive and had seemed lucid enough. The pain was to be expected with a head injury this severe. Even under ideal circumstance, intense headaches could continue for weeks.

He tapped his radio, time to check on his second patient.

"Markham. How's Rodney doing?"

"He's awake and insists on working." Markham replied. "But he's not looking too good. I think he's going to keel over any moment."

There was some muffled noise and then Rodney's voice came over the radio, he sounded breathless.

"I'm not going to keel over, Carson. But I trust that you get this fixed?"

Carson knew what Rodney meant.

"I'll do my best, Rodney."

"I think I have found a way we can get out of here. There is Stargate in this place. Really, what would the Ancients do without one?" Rodney babbled.

"Can we use it to get back to Atlantis?" Carson interrupted.

"Yes. As long as there are no power fluctuations, it will work." Rodney said.

Carson didn't want to know about any power fluctuations. He trusted Rodney to find their way home.

"How far is it to the Gate?" Carson asked, thinking of the unconscious Sheppard.

"I can't really tell, but it's all the way down on the second level, we are on level ten now. There are transporters a few hundred meters down the corridor left of you."

"I'll find them. I'll contact you from there."

Carson was just about to deactivate his radio when he heard Rodney's voice again.

"How's John doing?" Rodney sounded uncertain.

"He was awake earlier, but he was in a lot of pain. It's to be expected, Rodney." Carson said, not wanting Rodney to worry now that he was injured himself and the only one who could get them back to Atlantis.

TBC


	34. Discovered

Carson had found a gurney in one of the side rooms, making their trip down to the second level a lot easier. He hadn't been sure if he'd been able to carry John that far. With John on the gurney, he made good progress

Less than an hour later, he reached the Stargate. The two story room was an exact replica of the control room on Atlantis, except for the windows. Carson checked the life signs detector for unwanted company and checked in with Markham and Rodney before he finally was able to rest.

Carson sat down, knees against his chest. This place gave him the creeps. Like in a ghost town in space with its empty halls and corridors, Carson could feel that something terrible had happened in this place. He couldn't shake the feeling that they were not alone. John had miraculously been placed in stasis, a process which might have saved his life. He almost waited for something to jump out of the shadows at any moment, but there was nothing but stillness and the sounds of their breathing around him.

oOo

Rodney was clamouring on to Markham like a drowning man. The marine was the only thing that was keeping him on his feet. Now that the adrenaline had faded, the pain from his injuries had fully set in. It felt like his skin was painfully tight over his face, arms and hands. He couldn't even talk without his while face hurting. The more his eyes stung and burned, the more worried Rodney grew that there might be something really wrong with them. He couldn't lose his sight, he simply couldn't. They'd send him back home. No, they couldn't send him back him, they didn't have a ZPM. He'd be trapped on Atlantis, helpless and hopeless. Just like Teyla.

"We're almost there." Markham announced and shook Rodney from his dark musings. "Let me just get this door." Markham shifted, obviously reaching for the opening mechanism.

Rodney heard the sound of a door opening and second later he heard Carson.

"There you are! How's Rodney doing?"

There were footfalls and hands touched him.

"Easy there. I've got you. Just sit down." Someone, presumably Carson held him, pulling him away from Markham and guided him downwards. Rodney followed the movement, tired and worn.

He felt his shirt lifted. As hands roamed over his chest, touching cuts and burns, Rodney tried to block the hands with his, but stronger hands caught him around the wrists.

"I know this hurts a bit, but I just have to check you out. Keep those hands down by your side for a while longer. It seems the sergeant did a good job patching you up. There isn't any serious bleeding and I can't see any third degree burns. The worst part will be digging out the small pieces of shrapnel." Carson explained.

Rodney winced at the thought. He wanted to ask about his eyes, but then thought better of it. Rodney normally didn't hold with the proponents of ignorance, but there were times when a man just didn't need to know.

"Rodney." Carson was back again, somewhere close to his face. "I'm going to give you a shot for the pain. The ride through the Gate won't be comfortable."

"I don't need it." Rodney said. In case something went wrong, he had to be alert.

"How's John?" Rodney asked, changing the subject.

"He's holding steady." Carson replied. "I'm not going to force that shot on you, but I'd think you'd be a lot more comfortable that way."

"No." Rodney ground out.

Carson raised an eyebrow. This was very much unlike the Rodney he knew. He packed the syringe away and gathered his gear.

"I'm ready to go, sergeant. You can dial the Gate now,"

Markham punched in Atlantis's Gate address. Rodney listened to the familiar sound of the chevrons engaging one after another. Soon, soon they'd be home. After the seventh chevron had locked, Rodney waiting for the 'kawoosh' of the vortex forming, but nothing happened.

"I don't understand." Markham started dialling again, with the same result. The dialling sequence went without a hitch, but the connection wasn't established.

"Maybe there is a malfunction with the dialling device." Carson speculated.

"Can't be...dials fine." Rodney said. "Gate is...the problem." It was getting harder to stay awake. Blackness was tempting him to give in and surrender, promising oblivion and freedom from pain. Rodney did all he could the resist its pull.

"If the Gate's broken, we're really screwed." Markham exclaimed and kicked the dialling computer, too late remembered that it was his injured foot.

Cursing, Markham held his foot. While Carson was berating him for not being more careful.

Rodney's head hurt, he wished they'd just shut up. He thought back of Antarctica. None of this crap had ever happened there. It had been peaceful. His mind drifted back to the endless white plains and blue skies. Something was tickling at the back of his mind. Antarctica. Then he remembered the mission report.

"Can't dial...gate on the same...planet." Rodney mumbled fighting against unconsciousness. He was slipping fast. He felt a fleeting touch and heard a familiar voice.

"What do you mean, Rodney?"

"Alpha Ssst..." Rodney tried to form the words before the thoughts behind them evaporated like water on a hot plate. Rodney's last thought was of Antarctica, the everlasting winter and the endless ice.

oOo

Elizabeth was bored. She had talked Dr. Woods into letting her shower earlier, but the doctor had been adamant when it had come to the request for a laptop. 'No work, that's what Beckett ordered' Dr. Woods had said and left her to herself. That had been three hours and sixteen minutes ago. Elizabeth had tried to read without much success. Her head had started aching and the lines had started to blur in front of her eyes. Now she had a head ache and was bored.

Teyla and Ford were two beds away, immersed in an Athosian board game. Ford acted as Teyla's eyes and hands, manoeuvring her stones, as she told him her moves. The two had been playing since the morning. In a way, Elizabeth envied Teyla. It was lonely at the top. Especially when you could never get away from the people who worked for you. Elizabeth often felt isolated in her role of the expedition leader. In her position, she hadn't made friends the same way others had. She had come to trust her staff implicitly, but they were not close on a personal level. They always kept some amount of distance. It came with the job.

Teyla was respected among her people, but isolated. Aside from Halling, she seemed to have no friends. But Teyla had found on Atlantis what Elizabeth lacked. Friendship. Understanding. She could talk to Carson, she thought, remembering their joint breakfasts, but the expedition would always come first in her life. Leadership wasn't about making the popular calls. She had chosen this life when she had accepted the position as expedition leader, knowing it could be a one way trip. Elizabeth was not sure anymore she would have made the same decision again.

An outbreak of activity caught Elizabeth's attention. The previously calm and quiet infirmary had been plunged into a frenzy of activity when a medical team headed by Carson had wheeled in the unmoving forms of Rodney and Sheppard.

Elizabeth didn't catch a good look at them, but what she saw alarmed her. Amidst the moving bodies and bandages, she caught a look at Rodney's face, bandage wrapped around his forehead and eyes, what remained visible of his face looked raw and blistered.

God, not again. Would the dying never stop?

Before Elizabeth could see any more, curtains were drawn and the medical staff went to work.

oOo

It was already evening when Carson stepped up to her bed. Markham had come by earlier and had given her a preliminary report of what they had found.

The doctor looked dead on his feet and his stoic expression made it impossible to tell whether the news was good.

"Carson?" Elizabeth asked.

Carson pulled up a chair and sat down.

"They are going to pull through. Rodney had us worried for a moment. There was a small explosion, a console blew up. He was smart enough to duck, but still suffered first and second degree burns to his face, chest, arms and hands. He also caught a lot of shrapnel. It took us quite a while to dig out all the fragments. While most of the burns should heal just fine, there will be scarring from his other wounds."

Elizabeth's heart sank. This would be hard for Rodney. She almost didn't dare ask the next question.

"Any permanent damage?"

"The area around his eyes was burned and he got some debris into his eyes. Sergeant Markham did a good job rinsing them out and he got most of the debris out. His corneas are pretty swollen up now, which is only to be expected, but there seems to be no damage. But he had developed an infection in his left eye."

"Worst case scenario?" Elizabeth whispered.

"He could lose his sight on that eye. But that's just a possibility at the moment." Carson reassured her.

"John?"

"He's unconscious. As far as I can tell, he wasn't injured in any way. There is really not much I know at all. His head injury remains problematic and we can't rule out long term damage."

"Is he going to wake up?" Elizabeth wanted to know.

"Yes. He is no longer comatose. But he has suffered a serious head injury; even partial recovery from something like this can take months. And we still don't know what happened to him during his captivity." Carson explained.

oOo

Elizabeth wrinkled her nose at the smell of the Athosian tea. She would have gone for coffee substitute, but Carson had ordered her to cut back. She had to start somewhere. Teyla had overheard the conversation in the infirmary and had recommended the traditional morning tea of her people. It was said to be very invigorating. According to Teyla, her people started their day with a cup of strong tea, just before dawn. Setting down her cup, Elizabeth waited for the arrival for his breakfast partner. Carson was just coming from the counter with a tray of food and settled down on the opposite side of the table.

"How was your night?" Carson asked, taking in the tell-tale signs of fatigue in nearly aspect of the woman in front of him. Her skin was pale, her eyes were weary and bloodshot, and they were framed by dull shadows.

"I have slept." Elizabeth confirmed.

"Couldn't have been long, it's not even 0500 yet, but I'm letting this one slide. Did you take the pills that I gave you?"

Elizabeth flinched. "No. I felt pretty tired."

"I really want you to think about using the pills tomorrow night. You are not sleeping enough. If you don't start taking care of yourself, I will relieve you from duty, and not just for two days." Carson was serious.

"I'm taking care of myself, Carson. I'm drinking tea, having breakfast and got five hours of sleep last night. I'm doing well." Elizabeth insisted.

"I'll still keep an eye on you. Drop by the infirmary this afternoon. I'd like to check on your blood pressure and temperature. I don't think there is anything to worry about, but just to be on the safe side." Carson said.

"Are Rodney and Sheppard awake yet?" Elizabeth asked the question that had been on her mind all morning.

"Rodney briefly came to yesterday evening, but he's still in a lot of pain. We are keeping him medicated for now. If everything goes well, we'll be able to cut back on his meds by tomorrow. The major's still unconscious. Dr. Biro is running a whole battery of tests on him today. The fact that John regained consciousness back in the Ancient compound is a very good sign. He was lucid and able to communicate verbally. That rules out some of the things we have been concerned about."

"What about the delusions he experienced earlier? Do you think he'll try to harm himself again?"

"There is no way of telling. To be on the safe side, I have a nurse watching him at all times."

"Good." Elizabeth carefully sipped and immediately gasped for breath and started coughing.

"Are you all right?" Carson, who was sharing breakfast with her once again, asked.

Elizabeth recovered her breath. "Teyla gave me the recipe. Traditional morning tea. I have no idea what's in it. It burns like fire." Elizabeth eyed the cup with disdain.

"Well, spices are natural disinfectants. It makes sense if you don't have access to purified water." Carson explained.

"Well, we do have clean water here in the City. I'll think I'll stick to plain water next time. Shame we ran out of Earth herbs a while ago and we didn't come equipped to start farming here." Elizabeth remarked lightly.

"You seem to be doing better," Carson comment

"I'm glad that we got John and Rodney back. I just hope that they are going to be okay, after all that they have been through."

oOo

"If we go by what Dr. McKay told Sergeant Markham and Dr. Beckett and this Ancient outpost really is on the mainland, it isn't that easy to Gate there." Dr. Jamison explained.

Dr. Weir had assembled Dr. Jamison, Dr. Kavanaugh and Sergeant Markham in the briefing room at 0700. The newly discovered Ancient outpost had opened up a wealth of new opportunities that could help them in the fight against the Wraith. Elizabeth wanted to send teams there as soon as possible.

"I find it hard to believe that there could be an Ancient outpost on the Mainland. We have done scans, taken soil and water samples and done geological surveys and have found nothing."

"We couldn't detect Major Sheppard from Atlantis. The outpost might be shielded." Dr. Jamison considered.

"Dr. Grodin is running some new scans at the moment. I'd like to know where we are headed in case there are any problems. Unfortunately Dr. McKay isn't able to talk yet. Right now, our priority is to explore the outpost and secure a possible energy source and technology."

"There isn't much precedent here. We only have the situation the SGC encountered on Earth to go on. We have consulted their reports regarding the incident in Antarctica and as far as we have figured out, we have to shut down our Gate in order to dial the Gate located on the planet. The two Gates have the same Gate address. They can't be used both at once. Back when both the SGC and the Russians had a Stargate, only one location could have the Gate active at any one time." Dr. Jamison explained the details.

"Are there any risks in powering down the Gate for a few hours?" Elizabeth asked.

"That's Dr. Zelenka's field of expertise. But it should be no problem." Dr. Kavanaugh replied.

"Sergeant Markham, get your team and that of Sergeant Stackhouse ready to leave. Dr. Jamison and Dr. Kavanaugh will accompany you. I don't have to tell you how important this mission is for Atlantis." Elizabeth concluded the briefing. She hoped that she was making the right move. They didn't know what was out there. But every time she sent a team out, there was a chance that they might not come back. This was no different. If they wanted to survive, they had to push forward into the unknown. The trails were lined with graves. The West had been won that way and humanity had been made their way into space at the price of lives.

TBC


	35. Tired

Waking up was a stepwise process. The first thing Rodney became aware of were sounds, indistinct and muffled. They penetrated the white haze he was comfortably floating in. Rodney tried to ignore them. He liked the white, warm dream. It reminded him of Antarctica, in a way. The noises grew louder, more persistent. They started to separate. Rhythmical beeping, voices, humming.

"I think he is coming 'round." A voice said. It sounded familiar.

"Dr. McKay? Can you wake up?" Another voice, female this time asked. She sounded worried.

The voices made Rodney's head ache, but they wouldn't go away.

"Do you think we should get Dr. Beckett?" More chatter.

"Yes. He seems to be in great pain." The woman spoke again.

There were footsteps and then another voice joined them.

"Rodney? It's me, Carson. Can you open your eyes for a little bit?" There was a hand on his wrist.

Maybe they'd shut up, if he'd give them what they wanted. Rodney opened his eyes. When all he could see where blurred shadows, panic welled up inside him. Now he remembered, a console had blown up in his face.

"My eyes!" Rodney croaked, the sound of his voice surprising him.

The beeping started to increase wildly.

"Calm down, Rodney. Relax. Your sight will get better. This is only temporary. Do you understand?" Carson would tell him later about the infection in his left eye. For now, Rodney needed to rest and heal.

Rodney nodded. "Yes. Water?"

The shadow moved to the side, and then something touched his lips.

"Here you go. Small sips." Carson offered him water. "How is the pain?"

"Face, hands and chest." Rodney whispered.

"Yeah, I thought as much. You were burned in the blast."

Images of burn victims with horrible scars flashed through Rodney's mind. The shock must have shown on his face, because Carson put a hand on Rodney's shoulder and went to reassure him.

"The burns were only first and second degree. You were lucky. Your skin will heal fine." Telling Rodney about the scarring on his face could wait until the scientist was better. Right now Rodney's face looked terrible, raw and red, littered with blistered and cuts.

When Teyla and Ford had come to see Rodney shortly after he'd been brought in, Ford had shrunk back when he'd first seen him. But both had stayed ever since, watching silently over their team mates. Carson had had to chase them in the evening, otherwise they wouldn't have rested. Ford was still in the infirmary, he wasn't bouncing back as quickly as Teyla had and a slight infection had set in. The infection had forced them to halt their efforts at physical therapy as they had barely begun. For now, the Lieutenant had to make do with a wheelchair. Fortunately for him, his many visitors didn't mind taking him for the occasional trip around the City. Carson knew it was hard for the young man to be stuck in the infirmary for such a long time only with prospects of a long and hard recovery in his future.

Teyla had really been a help at keeping Aiden's spirits up, busying him with conversations, games and even Athosian folk tales. Carson was wondering whether helping Aiden through this wasn't part of what made Teyla seem so at peace with her sudden disability. Carson and Elizabeth had suggested Teyla go see Dr. Heigthtmeyer, but the Athosian had declined politely, but firmly. Since she was adjusting well to her new situation, Carson had not brought up the subject again. He wasn't sure Kate would be of much help in Teyla's case. Teyla's people lived in the shadow of the Wraith and had done so for thousands of years. They had remained on the hunter-gather level, being constantly on the run from the Wraith. The Wraith were a force of nature in the Pegasus Galaxy. The Athosians knew about the fragility of life and the reality of loss.

On Earth, the humans had considered themselves invincible. Until the Stargate had first been opened, no one had known that there were civilisations much more powerful out there. They still hadn't fully realized how small they really were.

oOo

When Rodney woke for the second time, Teyla and Aiden were still sitting at his bedside. The familiar voices drew him to consciousness as the blackness slowly faded.

"Your move." Aiden's voice sounded.

Rodney's senses started clearing. He became aware of numb pain across his upper body and realized that he was on pain medication. There were beeping sounds farther away in the distance. No more heart monitor for him.

"Three to the left and one up. I will cover three of your stones, I believe." Teyla said somewhere above Rodney.

"You're right. I think you are winning again." Ford complained, but his tone was light.

Rodney worked to open his eyes and the ceiling came into view. It was still blurred, but clearer than it had been the last time he'd been awake. Maybe Carson had been right after all and this was temporary. Rodney turned his head to get a better look at his team mates. The movement had been a bad idea, searing pain shot through his neck. He yelped in pain, his hand shooting up to his neck.

"Dr. McKay?" Teyla called his name. A hand caught his and forced it away from his neck.

"I think you should leave that for now." Ford said and released his hand. Rodney tried to breathe while waiting for the pain to diminish.

He didn't notice Carson approach. When he saw a new face appear above him, he was confused at first.

"Good to see you awake again, Rodney." Carson said. "Can you tell me how you are doing?"

"Hurts." Rodney said simply.

"All right. We cut back on your meds earlier today for you to wake up. I can give you something if the pain is too bad. How is your vision?"

"Better, but still blurry." Rodney replied.

"That's good. You have some swelling to your corneas. Until that goes down, you won't see too well."

Rodney nodded. He didn't care, as long as he'd see again eventually. He was getting tired again. But there was one more thing he needed to know.

"John?"

"Still unconscious. But I'm confident he'll wake up soon. Dr. Biro ran an MRI earlier today and it came back clear. The EEG is looking good, too."

"Tell when he wakes up." Rodney pleaded. He needed to be there, no matter what happened.

"I will. Now you need to rest." Carson said and rearranged the blanket around Rodney. Rodney closed his eyes and immediately drifted off to sleep. Carson watched Rodney for a while longer before turning to the opposite row of beds.

Ford and Teyla looked up from there game when they heard him approach.

"Dr. Beckett, how is he doing?" Teyla asked, concerned lining her voice.

"He's making progress. At the moment, he's still hurting pretty bad, but he's going to get better." Carson assured her. "Now, I have some news for the both of you. We ran every blood test we could and didn't find anything indicating the presence of a virus or toxin of any kind. You were lucky; the dog creatures that attacked you on the planet could easily transmitted disease."

"That's good. I guess." Aiden said quietly.

"Aye, it's good all right. But I was hoping to find a clue as to why Teyla's vision hasn't returned yet. There are a number of viral infections and toxins that can cause blindness, but so far nothing. I'm sorry, Teyla."

Teyla tilted her head. "You did what you could, doctor. Thank you for your efforts."

"I just wish I had better news for you. Still, I'd like you to repeat some tests with Dr. Kang. There are some possibilities we haven't covered yet. The chances are pretty slim, but I'd feel better if we made sure that there is nothing we have overlooked." Carson proposed.

Teyla hesitated. "I do not wish to take up your time and resources. You have other patients that need your attention more than I do. Do not blame yourself for not finding an answer this time." Teyla replied softly.

Carson nodded and left. He would not push the Athosian further.

oOo

Dr. Jamison looked up to the two waiting marines.

"I think we are ready. The replacement crystals we brought from Atlantis should do the trick. Once we access the central computer, we should get some idea what we are dealing with here." She announced.

"Are you sure it's save, doctor? When Dr. McKay powered up the system, he got blown up pretty badly. Wouldn't want that to happen again." Sergeant Stackhouse said.

"No. Dr. McKay connected an external power array to bridge the crystals. The array wasn't intended to handle the kind of power that runs through the crystals, causing it to overload. The crystals are stable enough, it's perfectly save." She declared.

"Go ahead then." Stackhouse tapped his radio. "Attention everyone. We are getting ready to reactivate the systems. Back up from any computer systems."

"Okay." Dr. Jamison reactivated the central computer. The big screen looming overhead sprang to life and displays filled with Ancient characters. Dr. Jamison tapped a few keys and the display changed to an outline of the compound.

"That looks pretty vast." Stackhouse commented.

"You are right, Sergeant. It's about a quarter the size of Atlantis and completely underground."

She tapped more keys and white dots appeared on the display of the outpost.

"Our people are the only life signs registering."

"How about the ZPM, we could really use one." Stackhouse asked.

"Let me see. About three quarters powered, but it's drawing a lot of power at the moment and I don't know why. We are not exactly using a lot of systems." Dr. Jamison frowned.

"A malfunction?" Stackhouse suggested.

"Possibly. For some reason, one of the control crystal of the central computer was removed, shutting down the whole compound."

"Sabotage?" Stackhouse asked.

"Or the Wraith." Dr. Jamison said darkly.

"They'd leave behind bodies, wouldn't they?" Stackhouse asked, not sounding too convinced.

oOo

Elizabeth knew she was in trouble as soon as she saw Carson heading towards her office. She sighed. She had totally forgotten to check in with him in the afternoon. Checking her watch, she realized that it was already two hours past dinner time. She hadn't even noticed how time had passed. It had been afternoon by the time the team around Dr. Kavanaugh had finally been ready to power down the Gate. Elizabeth hoped that the logistical effort would pay off since they couldn't use their own Gate, the ten man team plus equipment had travelled to the Alpha site. Dr. Kavanaugh had run some last checks, then they'd powered down the Gate. That had been six hours ago. Eighteen more hours before they'd power the Gate up again. Although the only one off-world at the moment was Radek, Elizabeth felt unsettled with the Gate disconnected.

"Elizabeth?"

Elizabeth looked up. She'd been lost in thought and hadn't even noticed Carson coming in.

"Carson. I'm sorry. I wanted to come by, but I forgot. There is always just one more thing I have to take care of. This Ancient outpost you found could really be the key to defeating the Wraith..."

"Elizabeth!" Carson cut her off. "When was the last time you ate?"

Elizabeth startled. She had never heard the normally friendly doctor use this tone before.

"Breakfast, I think."

"You're coming with me. I thought as leader of this expedition you were smart enough to take care of yourself, but obviously you aren't." Carson said harshly.

Elizabeth got up, shoulders slumped in defeat. She did feel tired, but she could hardly recall the last time she hadn't felt the strain of exhaustion. It had started soon after Kolya. Dreams, sleepless nights, and then working nights. It had become a habit.

Elizabeth followed Carson along to corridors, expecting that they were going to the infirmary. When Carson led them to the cafeteria, she was positively surprised.

It was after dinner time and aside from two scientists at a far table, the cafeteria was deserted. Private Deroche waved to them from behind the counter when they came in.

"Anything left from dinner?" Carson asked the young man.

Deroche shook his head. "I'm afraid not. But I got some soup boiling for the night shift. Tava beans and soomi roots. Think sweet potatoes and beans."

When Caron winced, Deroche went on.

"It tastes better than it looks. Unfortunatly we don't have much variety in food supplies right now." Deroche looked apologetic. "We should get some meat in by the end of the week."

"As long as we have something on the table, I guess we should be glad." Carson considered. "Give us two bowls. Any bread left?"

Deroche filled two metal bowls with the thick greenish soup. "We don't have bread, but there are still a few crates of ration crackers left. I can get you a box."

"That'd be great." Carson replied.

Five minutes later, he and Elizabeth were seated at a table, a bowl a soup, crackers and tea in front of each of them. Elizabeth was gnawing at a single cracker, leaving the soup untouched.

"What's on your mind?" Carson asked, breaking the silence.

"It's nothing." Elizabeth said distractedly. "I'm just doing my job."

"Elizabeth, you're running yourself into the ground. You won't talk to Kate. Who are you going to talk to?" Carson asked, hoping to get through to Elizabeth.

Elizabeth put down the cracker. She didn't feel like eating anymore. "I don't think talking will help. You can't solve every problem by talking about it."

"Aye, that's true. And there are some problems we can't solve, no matter what we do." Carson said softly.

"You are talking about Radek?" Elizabeth looked at Carson.

"In medicine we don't always find the answers we are looking for. I haven't given up yet, but it doesn't look like we'll be able to remove the implant from Radek's brain. Not without causing irreparable damage. Even with the help of Ancient technology, we can't solve every problem."

"I know, I mean...I understand that. But we can't leave him out there for the Wraith to find." Elizabeth said, burying her face in her hands.

"Have you been worrying about him?" Carson asked.

"I don't know how I can sleep at night knowing that we left one of our own on an alien planet for the Wraith to find. We might just have killed Radek ourselves."

"That's not true. You didn't have a choice." Carson insisted.

"That doesn't make it any easier. How big is the risk if you remove the implant?"

"There isn't just a risk. There will definitely permanent damage if we remove the implant using conventional methods. I believe that the results with the Ancient equipment will be substantially better, but I don't feel confident using that technology on a patient." Carson admitted.

"There might be no alternative. It's better than letting him being culled by the Wraith. The nearest ship is about two days away from the pirate planet. We don't have much time. As soon as we have the Gate back in operation, I want you to present Radek with his options." Elizabeth replied.

"I will run some more tests; hopefully I will have more facts to give him. But you should really eat your soup before it goes completely cold." Carson said.

"Is it edible?" Elizabeth said jokingly.

"If you are hungry enough, it's not bad." Carson replied honestly. Without contact to Earth and a way to restock their supplies, they would have to get used to the native foods.

oOo

Rodney was picking at his food. He wasn't really hungry. With his hands wrapped in gauze, his movements were clumsy and painful. Listlessly, he dropped the spoon. He really didn't like red jell-o. If it had been blue, he might just have eaten it. Carson hadn't allowed coffee just had, even though the substitute had hardly any caffeine. The Athosian tea was really disgusting. Rodney pushed his tray away. He laid back and closed his eyes, willing himself back to sleep. He didn't want to be awake. When he was awake, he was in pain, he had to think about Sheppard who was unconscious two beds away, he had to think about Radek who was alone on an alien planet and he had to think about how he had spectacularly failed them both.

"Hey doc, want to swap jell-o? I got blue." The cheerful voice for Ford interrupted Rodney's attempt at sleeping. He opened his eyes and saw Ford wheeling towards him.

"I'm not hungry." Rodney mumbled. He didn't feel like talking.

"You really need to eat. You are starting to look like the major." Ford joked.

"Listen Aiden, I appreciate the effort, but I'm trying to sleep." Rodney snapped.

Ford wasn't to be deterred. "I'm not leaving. Now eat the jell-o." He thrust the bowl into Rodney's hands and handed him a spoon.

Rodney grimaced, but started eating. His hands were shaking by the time he finished the bowl, but he only spilled a few spoons. Embarrassed, he looked down his front. He hated showing weakness in front of the lieutenant. Ford didn't comment, but smiled.

"Teyla is coming by later. We have been playing Yraje; it's an Athosian board game. She beats me every time. Now she wants to learn how to play chess. I told her you could teach her. Don't make a liar out of me, doc." Ford said.

"I think you'll have to find another teacher." Rodney groaned. "I'm sure Carson knows how to play."

"I bet you'd win the Atlantis Chess Tournament, doc. All you need to do as tell me where to put the pieces. You don't need your hands for that."

"There is not getting away from you, is there?" Rodney groused. He might just humour Ford. It'd beat staring at the ceiling all day.

"I knew you'd say yes." Aiden grinned wildly.

"Say yes to what? Rodney needs rest. In bed." Carson approached them from behind.

"You have a busy day ahead of you, Lieutenant." Carson turned to Aiden. "If your white blood cell count continues to normalize, you can start with your physical therapy again. It's time to get you walking again."

"Yeah, I'm getting tired of my wheels here." Aiden agreed.

"Now off to your bed, I need to check over Rodney." Carson shooed away Aiden.

Carson turned to Rodney.

"How are you this morning?"

"Everything hurts pretty badly and I can hardly use my hands. But my vision a lot better."

"Your hands are going to heal, along with the rest of your burns; it's just going to take some time. I need to take a look at your eyes."

Carson examined Rodney's right eye, then removed the bandage from his left eye.

"There is some pretty bad swelling, but so far, it looks like the infection is at least not getting any worse. I might have to make some adjustment to your antibiotics."

Rodney recalled a vague memory of Carson leaning over him, saying something about swelling and that his vision was going to be all right.

"Infection? I don't recall you telling me about this before." Rodney asked, starting to have that sinking feeling in his stomach.

"You were still pretty sedated when you first woke up...I didn't want to stress you any more than necessary after what you'd been through."

"You are starting to scare me there. Carson. How serious is this infection?" Rodney asked, feeling the first inklings of panic.

"At the moment, the infection is under control. But it could be serious if we can't find a way to deal with it. Your optic nerve could be damaged, causing total or partial blindness on your left eye. If the infection gets out of control, it could reach other systems and lead to sepsis, but that possibility is remote at the moment." Carson honestly replied.

"What exactly are those chances?" Rodney wanted to know.

"I can't give you the numbers. I don't think you are headed for septic shock." Carson said.

Rodney closed his eyes. He could live with this. Being blind on one eye wasn't the end. He could still work in the lab, but he wouldn't be able to go on missions again. But there wasn't a team left anyways. Teyla was blind, Sheppard was still unconscious and Ford would be out of commission for months to come. Still, he'd miss going to other planets.

TBC


	36. Jolted

The smiling group stepped through the Gate into the Atlantis control room. Seeing Dr. Weir stand half way down the steps, Dr. Jamison waved to the expedition leader with excitement.

"Dr. Weir! We're back and I think I speak for all of us when I say that the mission has been a success. We brought back a ZPM. We have to run further tests, but we can say for certain that it's three quarter charged." Dr. Jamison grinned widely.

Elizabeth's face lit up at hearing the news. "That's fantastic to hear. I look forward to hearing your report. But first, go to the infirmary you get checked out."

"Permission to bring the ZPM to the lab first, ma'am?" Dr. Jamison asked, still grinning.

"Go ahead, doctor." Dr. Weir said, a smile forming on her face as well. This was the first piece of good news in days. With the a second ZPM, they would be able to activate the shield and the weapons' systems of the City. They didn't know how they'd hold up against a Wraith Hive ship, but it was a start. There was still a lot to be discovered, systems that they hadn't been able to activate and technology they hadn't been able to test because of power restrictions. They'd be able to make contact with Earth. She hadn't even thought of that first. She had gotten so used to being stranded; Earth had slipped to the back of her mind. The fact that the SGC had not made contact with them so far indicated that they hadn't found another ZPM on Earth. There had been plans of building a ship outfitted with the Asgard hyper drive, capable of travelling to the Pegasus galaxy in a matter of weeks, but no ship had arrived yet.

The SGC had its own problems back in the Milky Way with the Goa'uld and the Replicators, they were probably not much of a priority, and even if people were wondering why no one had heard of the Atlantis mission. The truth was that no technology from Earth would help them in the fight against the Wraith.

"Dr. Weir?" At the sound of Grodin's voice, Elizabeth returned to the reality of the control room.

"Grodin?"

"Dr. Woods has cleared the team. They are waiting for you in the briefing room." Grodin told her.

Elizabeth frowned. It seemed like they had just left for the infirmary. They couldn't possibly be back already. Shaking her head, she made her way to the briefing room.

The ten members of the exploration team were seated around the oval table of the briefing room. They all looked tired and exhausted in their rumpled uniforms, having worked through the last twenty four hours, but the satisfied smiles were impossible to miss. Elizabeth took a seat at the head of the table.

"Sergeant Markham, what's your preliminary threat assessment?" Elizabeth asked, settling in for a long debriefing.

"Negative, Dr. Weir. The outpost is uninhabited. We scanned for life signs and confirmed with complete sweeps. No signs of a battle either. It is likely that the outpost was evacuated just like Atlantis." Markham summarised.

"Dr. Jamison and I made preliminary checks of the computer systems and found no signs of manipulations that would indicate Wraith activity. Of course, a complete analysis would take several days." Dr. Warren reported.

"What are we dealing we here? Just the facts." Dr. Weir asked.

"The outpost is about the quarter the size of Atlantis, but is far less sophisticated. It seems to be some sort of shelter, laid out only to protect the inhabitants. The outpost was perfectly shielded, making it impossible the detect it from Atlantis. We haven't had a chance to examine it more closely yet, but the shield is much more sophisticated that the one we have around Atlantis. You see, the shield around Atlantis is protecting the City from attacks, but it is not camouflaging it." Dr. Jamison explained it in laymen's terms.

"Would it be possible to configure our shields in the same way? This could be a useful protection from the Wraith." Elizabeth asked. Things were starting to look better all the time.

"Possibly. I can't tell for sure now. If we take the crystals and rewrite the power distribution program..." Dr. Jamison trailed off. "The shield at the outpost was draining a lot of power. We couldn't afford to run the shield for longer periods of time."

"Still, investigate it. We might need the shield in an emergency." Elizabeth decided.

"As I already said, the outpost was designed as some sort of shelter, a sort of Ancient Bunker. There seem to be no weapon systems of any kind. We have found medical facilities and a few research labs; all appear to be designed for medical and biological research. Dr. Beckett found a hologram recording when he was there, and we think that there might be others, but so far we haven't found them. The exploration would take months." Dr. Jamison said.

"Was there any indication what the Ancients were researching?" Elizabeth asked. They might uncover something of value in the compound. But if there was something still down there in the outpost, they risked stumbling over something potentially dangerous.

"I had a chance to look at some of their research." Dr. Warren answered. "It's not exactly my field, so I transferred as much as I could onto my laptop, but as far as I can tell, the Ancients brought those wounded seriously in the war with the Wraith to the shelter to treat them. I found several pieces of diagnostic equipment."

"Hand over your notes to Dr. Beckett. He and his team can decide what warrants further study." Elizabeth said. "You are going back tomorrow morning at 0800. Lieutenants Yee and Carpenter, you can go back to your regular assignment on the security detail. I'll send Dr. Kang with you as a medical consultant to help evaluate the Ancient research."

oOo

When Elizabeth entered the infirmary, there was no sign of Carson. The only occupants were the members of her flagstaff team. Rodney and John rested in adjoining beds, Teyla and Aiden sat between them, talking quietly. Elizabeth couldn't make out what they were saying from the distance. She had come to see Carson, but now that she was there, she felt the need to talk to them. They had pulled close together after what had happened on the mission, the bond that had developed between them was closer than usual between members of a team. Elizabeth only hoped that it was enough to help them through the time ahead. It was very well possible that they wouldn't return to duty.

She walked up to them, making sure that they heard her.

"Teyla, Aiden, Rodney. How are you doing?"

"I'm fine, Dr. Weir." Teyla replied with a smile.

"Better." Ford said.

Rodney just grunted and turned to the other side. Elizabeth didn't say anything.

"I just wanted to let you know, that we have now officially have a second ZPM. A team found one on the Ancient Outpost on the Mainland." Elizabeth told them.

"My people have never found any sign of an Ancient structure on the Mainland." Teyla said, sounding surprised.

"It's underground. A shield was protecting it from our scans; we only found it because of Rodney." Elizabeth remarked, hoping that this would illicit a remark from Rodney. But the scientist remained silent.

"The doc didn't even mention it. But that's great news." Ford said. "The geeks will go crazy over this."

"Well, I'll leave you to it." Elizabeth said turned towards the labs.

As expected, she found Carson in front of a laptop. He looked up when she came in.

"Elizabeth. What's happening?" Carson asked. He looked tired. Elizabeth doubted that he had slept that night. They were all being pushed to the edge.

"The mission was a success. We recovered a ZPM. Dr. Warren found some medical records. I want you to take a look at them."

Carson rubbed a hand over his face. "He brought them by earlier. I haven't looked at them yet. I'm still going over the data from the Wraith implant. Even with the Ancient equipment, I can't advocate doing the surgery. The chances that I'll be able to remove it without causing damage are next to none."

"Radek's only other choice might be to die. The Wraith will reach the pirate planet in approximately two days. We need to tell him what options he has." Elizabeth said. The thought of leaving one of her people to be culled by the Wraith was unacceptable to Elizabeth, but over the past few days, the inevitability of it had started to settle over her.

If faced with the choice herself, Elizabeth wasn't sure what she would do. Risk debilitating brain damage or face certain death at the hand of the Wraith. In the end, only Radek could answer the question.

"There might be a third option." Carson said. "Instead of removing the implant entirely, we could just disable it."

"An EM pulse?" Elizabeth asked, thinking of the nano bot incident.

"No, the implant is based on the organic Wraith technology. An EM pulse wouldn't affect their technology. But an electrical impulse would most likely disable the implant. I have run some simulation and they suggest that the impulse has to be fairly strong. Too strong to for conventional ECT. The charge needs to be localized."

"Is there a way to do this?" Elizabeth asked.

"Yes, I believe so. One of the Ancient devices we have been studying is capable of doing just that. The reason why I'm cautious about this, there are not few risks. There is no way of knowing what will happen when the implant shortens out. There could be some sort of failsafe mechanism that we are not aware of. The implant could overload and cause damage to the surrounding tissue. Then there is the jolt itself. Some memory loss is to be expected, but there could be lasting damage. And there is a substantial chance that the jolt could cause a fatal seizure." Carson explained.

"Radek will have to decide what he wants to do. Lieutenant Yee will go with you to the planet."

"I'll be finishing up here soon." Carson said. "I wish I had better news for Radek."

"We'll be expecting you back. Dr. Kavanaugh is installing the new ZPM right now. We'll put up the shield until you have dealt with the implant. However Radek wants to go about it." Elizabeth said.

oOo

Radek stood by the Gate to greet them when Carson and Lieutenant Yee stepped through.

Radek was unshaven and weary, but his face lit up when he spotted them.

"Carson! Nice of you to come by." Radek exclaimed.

"Are you doing okay, Radek?" Carson asked, glancing over Radek who looked like he could use some sleep and a fresh change of clothes.

"Yes, yes. Just not used to sleeping outside. The forest is very noisy." Radek rambled, obviously glad to see them.

"I'll stay be the Gate, just in case we get company." Lieutenant Yee announced and planted herself by the DHD.

"We'll be back by the tent. Radio us if there is any trouble." Carson said and led Radek towards the encampment.

"I was worried when I couldn't dial Atlantis yesterday. What happened? Was there a problem with the Gate?" Radek asked.

"No. We discovered an Ancient outpost on the Mainland and apparently we can't dial it from Atlantis. Something about having the same address..." Carson hadn't really understood that part.

"Ah yes, two Gates on one planet cannot be active at the same time. Like on Antarctica." Radek nodded. "So what is new?"

Carson settled down on a crate. "As you know, the Wraith are on the way. They are about two days from here. Rodney and I have been trying to find a way to remove the implant."

"The personal shield? Has Rodney found away to make it work?" Radek asked.

"No, unfortunately not. There are two options and I'm afraid that neither is very good." Carson said, shifting on the crate.

Radek pushed up his glasses. "Please, what can you do?"

"I can try to remove the implant using Ancient technology, but I won't be able to remove it without causing permanent damage. It would most likely debilitating."

Radek nodded. He wouldn't be able to do it. Living with a broken body and mind.

"What's the other option?"

"We don't remove the implant. I'm confident that a electrical jolt will disable it. The jolt will have to be pretty strong. Using the Ancient equipment, I will be able to direct the charge to the implant. I won't lie to you. This method is risky. The jolt could be fatal, but if it works the damage will be minimal." Carson explained.

Radek nodded again. It was not like he had a choice, if he wanted to live. "How much is minimal damage?"

"Memory loss is to be expected. Possibly continuing problems with memory." Carson tried to stay as detached as possible. He couldn't allow himself to get to close. He would be the one to carry out whatever procedure Radek decided on.

"I'll take my chances with the jolt." Radek said grimly. If his memory was permanently affected, he would no longer be able to do his job, but this would be a risk he'd have to take.

oOo

Rodney had left his lunch untouched. All he wanted to do was sleep. The constant chatter of Teyla and Aiden was grating on his nerves. He knew that they meant well, but he just wanted to be alone. Everything had gone wrong. He'd thought he could save John, the major continued to be unconscious and with every passing day, his chances of recovery plummeted. Rodney felt like screaming. He had failed John, in every way possible. That the console had blown up in his face seemed only fitting punishment.

"I think he is sleeping. He still seems to be in great pain." Teyla said somewhere near him. Did she never get bored? Rodney sighed and pulled the covers closer.

"Rodney never sleeps." Another, familiar voice replied. A voice that didn't belong in the infirmary. Zelenka! He was supposed to be on the pirate planet. Rodney gave up and opened his eyes.

Aiden was gone. Teyla was sitting in her usual chair between his and John's bed. Zelenka stood at his bed side dressed in Beckett's awful burgundy scrubs.

"Radek. What's going on?" Rodney asked, his throat parched.

"Beckett found a way to disable the implant. He is setting up the device right now." Radek replied, looking anxious.

Rodney frowned at Radek's expression.

"There are a few risks." Radek explained.

"I'm sure that it will go well." Teyla reassured him.

"I hope so." Radek said with an insecure smile.

"Are you sure you want to do this?" Rodney asked, realising that Radek wouldn't be in this situation if he had managed to figure out the personal shield.

"I don't want to be killed by the Wraith. But no, I don't want to do this." Radek replied.

Carson approached them from behind. "Radek. Everything is set up. Whenever you are ready."

"In a moment, doctor." Radek turned back to Teyla and Rodney. "Just in case I don't get another chance. It was great to work here. Atlantis is the best thing that could happen to a scientist. And you were the most brilliant boss I ever had, but don't let it go to your head." Radek padded Rodney's shoulder.

"I'll see you later." Rodney squeezed Radek's hand for a brief moment.

"Let's do this." Radek went to follow Carson to the end of the room where Carson has sent up the device. On of Carson's nurses was already waiting for them.

"Come on. Lie down." Carson indicated the exam table. Trying to quell the butterflies in his stomach, Radek lied down.

"Have you been taking your meds?" Carson asked, referring to the anti-seizure medication.

"Yes. They have been making me pretty sick." Radek replied.

"Good. The jolt will trigger a seizure in your brain, but since your are taking the drug, it will not manifest. We'll give you a sedative before we start. Is there anything else you want to know?" Carson asked. While he was trying to make this as easy as possible for Radek, his own fear and apprehension were only rising. The thought that he could kill Radek stifled him. There was risk in every medical procedure, but not like this.

"What happens afterwards?" Radek asked, glancing around nervously.

Carson put a hand on his arm. "We'll run some tests to make sure that the procedure was successful and to see...how you are doing. You'll be asleep for a few hours. Once you are awake, I can do a more thorough neurological evaluation. You should be out of the infirmary after a day." Carson tried to be optimistic.

Radek nodded. "I'm ready."

"Jen. Let's go." Carson advised the nurse to proceed. She swiftly injected Radek with the sedative. Radek blinked a few more times, then drifted off. Carson moved to the control console, scanning his patient once again. He checked the settings for a final time, making sure that the current had the right strength. Like most Ancient devices, it was controlled mentally by the physician. It would take just one second.

Carson took a deep breath and concentrated. He reached out to the device, feeling for it. He could sense it. He saw the scan of Radek's brain in his mind and knew what he had to do. Carson thought and directed the jolt to the centre of the Wraith implant.

"He's seizing!" Jen called out.

"Get me 4mg Lorazepam IV." Carson ordered.

The seizure passed quickly, giving Carson hope that it was just the result of the electrical charge and not the result of damage. Radek's vitals were holding steady after they had administered the drug, so Carson took his patient for scans.

The implant was still intact, but no longer broadcasting the homing signal. The MRI indicated no lasting damage and the EEG showed acceptable brain activity. His worst fears hadn't come to pass, but they wouldn't know for sure until Radek woke up.

TBC


	37. Awakened

Elizabeth piled the folders on her desk. She was done with the first reports on the outpost. Aside from the camouflaging shield, they hadn't found much useful technology so far. The outpost was not much more than a bunker. The medical data might prove useful, but the analysis would take weeks. For the moment, Carson had other priorities. He had been able to shut off the Wraith implant inside Radek's head without incident, but they were still waiting for Radek to wake up.

In the mean time the new ZPM was keeping all of Atlantis busy. Elizabeth had just come back from a meeting with Sergeant Bates, the temporary head of the military, discussing the defence capabilities of the City. Their supply of drones was very finite, maybe enough to bring down one, if they were lucky, two Hive ships. They hadn't brought any large weaponry from Earth; no one had expected they'd need it. Missiles hadn't been on the packing list. Even if they had tried to manufacture them, they didn't have the materials for it. Short of asking the Genii for help, they'd have to do with the drones they had.

Still, even if Earth couldn't help them in the fight against the Wraith, the power expenditure of making contact would be worth it. The opportunity to write to loved ones would do them good after the trying months behind them. For a few families, she wouldn't have good news, but they deserved to know what had happened to their sons, daughters, husbands and wives. She would make the announcement later, giving everyone time to prepare a message.

oOo

Everything was white and wrapped in cotton. Radek was drifting slowly towards consciousness. The noises around him started to separate into individual voices. Something clicking. Teyla and Ford were there. What were they doing in his quarters? Radek was confused. He didn't understand what was going on. He tried to remember, but nothing came to him. He couldn't remember what had happened. Panic started welling up in him and he opened his eyes, searching for a familiar location.

Grey ceiling. Teyla and Ford sitting a few meters away, hunched over something he couldn't see. The clicking came from the other side of his bed. Rodney was sitting there, working in his laptop. When he saw Rodney, looking terrible, his left eye and hands bandaged the rest of his face cut and burnt, Radek knew that there was something that he should remember.

"Rodney? Are you all right?" It seemed like the right thing to ask. Rodney looked like he should be in bed.

Rodney looked up from his laptop. "Radek! You're awake. I'll get Carson." Rodney made to get up, obviously in pain.

"Wait." Radek stopped him. "What happened?"

"It's a long story. You had a Wraith implant inside your head. Carson found a way to disable it, using a localized electrical charge." Rodney explained.

Radek's shock must have showed on his face, because Rodney went on. "Carson told us it worked fine. I'm sure it's going to be all right." Rodney was floundering.

"I don't remember." Radek whispered.

"Carson!" Rodney called when he spotted the doctor at the back of the infirmary. Carson came over to them.

"Rodney, back into bed with you." Carson ordered, when he found Rodney still sitting in the chair at Radek's bedside. Rodney shot him a dark look, but got up. Carson turned towards Radek.

"Do you feel up to answering a few questions?" Carson asked.

Radek nodded.

"Do you know who you are?" Carson asked, testing Radek's memory.

"Dr. Radek Zelenka. I know I'm on Atlantis in the Pegasus galaxy and I know that you are Dr. Beckett." Radek said.

"That's good to hear." Carson smiled. "Now, do you remember what happened?"

"No, Rodney told me something about a Wraith implant, but I don't remember any of it. What happened?" Radek asked anxiety in his voice.

Carson pulled up a chair. "First of all, you are going to be fine. The bulk of your memory is fine. The minor memory loss is a side effect of a procedure I used to disable the Wraith implant."

"Was there a Wraith attack on the City?" Radek asked, suddenly concerned.

"No, the City is fine. You were on a mission, with Sergeant Bates. You were captured by the Wraith. They let you go after implanting you with an implant. It acted as a homing beacon for the Wraith. I found a way to disable to implant with an electrical charge. It's no longer transmitting the signal."

"That's good." Radek said. "What's going to happen to the implant now?"

"Well, there is no way to remove it, not that we knew of. From what I can tell, it's not causing you any harm at the moment. The seizure you had a few days ago was most likely due to the activity of the implant. I want you to stay on Lamotrigin for at least another week, before we can try weaning you off." Carson explained.

"I see." Radek was still confused and not just a little frightened. Waking up and learning that he suddenly had some Wraith device inside his head, that he'd had a seizure, that he'd lost an entire week of memories. It seemed all too much to absorb.

Carson continued, not noticing that his patient was lost in thought. "I asked Dr. Biro to do a more detailed neurological assessment with you once feel up to it. Just some tests to check on your memory and concentration. I don't think there is anything to worry about, but I want to make sure."

Radek didn't ask, because he knew that if Dr. Biro's tests turned up something wrong, Dr. Beckett wouldn't be able to do anything about it. The doctor hadn't said it in so many words, but Beckett had been expecting complications when he'd disabled the implant. Radek didn't have all the fact, but he understood that it couldn't have been easy for his friends. An implant that transmitted a homing beacon to the Wraith was an imminent threat to the entire expedition. If the only way to disable it was a risky procedure, that might leave him with permanent impairments, it was a fair trade-off.

"Thank you, doctor." Radek said tiredly. Right now, he didn't want to think about the implications. Sleep sounded like a good idea. He still had questions about the time he'd lost, but they could wait.

"Get some rest, it'll do you good."

oOo

Radek was woken by the clatter of dishes. He'd fallen asleep with his glasses on and they'd been knocked askew in his sleep. Rightening them, he pushed himself up. A tiny redhead was brining in dinner. The smell of soomi root stew wafted over in his direction.

Ford was sitting in his bed across the infirmary, propped up on what looked like at least five pillows, accepting a tray from the red headed nurse. The nurse headed for his side of the infirmary. Rodney, in the bed left of his, was curled up on his side, facing away from Radek. He looked asleep, but Radek couldn't tell.

"Dr. McKay! Time to eat." The nurse announced in a cheery voice and placed the tray on the table beside Rodney's bed. Rodney just grunted in response and didn't rise.

"I know soomi root stew isn't exactly your Athosian favourite, but you have already missed lunch. You really have to eat, Dr. McKay." The nurse urged. "Well, I'll leave it here, in case you change your mind later."

She walked over to Radek's bed with the last tray.

"Dr. Zelenka. It's good to see you awake in time for the meal. Soomi root stew." She handed him the tray.

"Thank you, Erin." Radek read her name from her uniform.

Erin left to check on John. Radek started on the stew. It really wasn't one of his favourites. The Athosian cuisine was filling and simple, but not very tasty. He was half way through his bowl when his gaze fell on Rodney again.

"Rodney, you should eat. The stew is even nastier when it's cold."

Rodney didn't answer.

"You can't hide, Rodney. I know you aren't sleeping. Nurse red head with the loud voice woke you up." Radek said, putting his food aside. He slid out of bed, carefully putting weight on his legs. He was a bit unsteady, but he could walk. Three steps and he was at Rodney's bed. Something was torturing Rodney and Radek had the feeling that it was more than his physical injuries.

Radek reached out and placed his hand on an unmanaged spot on Rodney shoulder.

"Rodney! Let's go get some Athosian fruit rolls. If we hurry, there will still be some left."

Caught in surprise, Rodney turned around to face Radek. "What?"

"You obviously don't like the stew, so we get something else to eat." Radek declared. He had to shake up Rodney somehow.

"We can't go to the cafeteria." Rodney mumbled.

"I have seen you out of bed." Radek pointed out.

"You shouldn't be out of bed." Rodney countered. "You have a Wraith implant in your brain and Carson shocked you less than six hours ago!"

"It looks like I'm stuck with the implant and Carson said I'm fine." Radek lied. "Now get out of bed or the fruit roll will really be gone."

"We'll catch hell from Carson." Rodney protested.

"The nurse is in the office, eating. She won't be back until it's time for our meds." Radek argued.

oOo

Radek and Rodney had slowly shuffled towards the cafeteria. The day shift was still at work, so they had only run into one of the marines of their way. If the soldier had been surprised to see them, he had not shown it. He'd probably thought the scientists to be simply absent minded when they scuttled along the hallway, heads down, leaning close together.

The cafeteria was nearly empty. A group of soldiers sat in the back, but they were immersed in a conversation, not paying any attention to the two scientists entering the cafeteria. Rodney suddenly wasn't so sure anymore that it had been such a good idea to sneak out of the infirmary. There he had been safe from the prying stares and pitying glances of people. He had caught the first glance of his own face after the explosion when he'd gone to the bathroom. His vision had been blurred that first day after he'd woken up, but he'd still stood in shock at the red, blistered and cut mass in the mirror. Carson had said that a lot would heal, that the blisters would vanish and that the raw, red colour would make way to healthy skin, but he had also said that the deepest cuts would leave scars. Scars that would go from angry red welts to thin white lines as the years went by. But they would never fade completely.

While Rodney hesitated in the doorway, Radek walked up to the counter. He browsed the display of foods for the evening.

Private Deroche came out from the kitchen.

"Dr. Zelenka! I heard that you were better, but I didn't know that you were already out of the infirmary." When Deroche spotted Rodney, he stared for a moment, before he caught himself. "Good to see you too, Dr. McKay. I have a pot of coffee and some leva berry muffins left from breakfast. You look like you could use some." Deroche started putting the food on a tray.

"Here you go." Deroche out the tray on the counter.

Radek took it. "Thank you."

He and Radek headed to one of the back table. The military men still didn't pay them any mind, immersed in a conversation of their own.

Radek sat down and put the tray between himself and Rodney. He poured them both a cup of coffee and bit into a muffin.

"So, what has been happening?" Radek asked lightly.

"We found a ZPM on an Ancient Outpost. Elizabeth is preparing to contact Earth." Rodney said darkly.

Radek's face lit up. "That's great new. With a new ZPM, we can finally test all the Ancient systems..."

"Kavanaugh maybe. He and Jamison lead the science department." Rodney ranted. "We are damaged goods. I'm just waiting for Elizabeth to send us back to Earth."

"That's not true, Rodney. Why would she send you back to Earth? I hate to say this since it will only feed your big ego, but Atlantis needs you." Radek said.

"Atlantis doesn't need a half blind scientist." Rodney snapped.

Radek hadn't known that Rodney's eye was that serious, but it went to explain Rodney's behaviour. The scientist was afraid and didn't know how to deal with his situation.

"I don't believe what I'm seeing here!" A familiar voice exclaimed behind them. They'd been found out. Radek turned, smiling weakly. "Dr. Beckett! Rodney wouldn't eat in the infirmary, so I took him here."

Carson cocked his head. Now Radek noticed Elizabeth standing behind Carson. "Rodney, Radek. Back to the infirmary. I'm keeping you there for a reason. You could have just asked for someone to go down to the cafeteria." Carson scolded. "Can you make it back on your own or do I need to send for a gurney?"

"No." Rodney shook his head emphatically. He felt pretty terrible, but he wanted to be spared the embarrassment at all costs.

"All right. I'll call Erin to take you back."

oOo

Elizabeth sipped from her cup and grimaced. The Athosian tea had a unique flavour. She had been drinking it for two days now and if it was an acquired taste, the acquiring took some time. It was disgusting. She put the cup down and turned to her bowl of soomi root stew. Before she could eat, Carson spoke.

"I'm worried about Rodney. He isn't dealing well with what happened. He is withdrawn, won't eat. I was surprised to see him with Zelenka just now."

"His behaviour was pretty erratic when he first got back from the mission." Elizabeth remarked. „You think that this is related?"

"Possibly. This is not my field. We are all under extreme stress here. Rodney had been through an awful lot since we got here. I wouldn't be surprised if it started catching up with him. Now he has to deal with his injuries and I think he's afraid." Carson said.

"What can we do?"

"I'll inform Kate and get her involved. She was getting through to him earlier; she might be able to help him again. At the moment, Rodney has too much time to brood. As soon as he is up to it, we should try to get him involved in his work again. Only light duty for a few hours a day at the beginning, but I think it will help him get his mind off things." Carson replied between two spoons full of stew.

"I will get in touch with Dr. Kavanaugh. He will find something for Rodney." Elizabeth decided, taking another sip from her tea.

"I think you should let Rodney chose his own project. Now, I'm not in the loop with his research, but I'm sure he was working on something before this all started." Carson said.

"Rodney isn't in charge of the department anymore. Kavanaugh and Jamison will assign him to a project group like anyone else." Elizabeth said firmly, feeling that this conversation was headed for a confrontation. She didn't feel like justifying her personnel decision to Carson but she knew that the doctor cared about Rodney.

"Rodney has been under a lot of stress lately. Changing his work conditions while he's still recovering isn't a good idea. Rodney is used to being is own boss." Carson argued.

"From what I have seen in the last two weeks, Rodney is not fit to lead a department. It takes more than a brilliant mind. I have to do what's best for the expedition, Carson. Rodney has worked in research groups before; you know how things work in academic research."

Carson nodded. Elizabeth had a point, she had to look out for the expedition and Rodney hadn't been very stable lately.

Elizabeth wrapped her hands around her cup, letting the warmth seep into her hands. "Did you already write a message for your family?" Elizabeth changed the subject.

"No, I haven't. I have the night shift today. The night's long." Carson replied.

oOo

Sensations were slowly bleeding into the void John was floating in. In the beginning, there were just brief blips, micro seconds of sensory input that left him wanting for more. A sharp sound. Soft material against his skin. A flicker of pain.

The shards of sounds joined each other to form a chain of beeps. The pain took up constant residence in his head. Warm fabric materialized against his skin. John was confused. Something had happened, something important. His memories flitted past him like a movie. The pirates had captured him, drugged him, and prepared him to be sold into slavery. He had waited for the last of his freedom to disappear, but the memory wasn't there. All he could recall was pain, hunger, thirst and cold. There had been dreams, nightmares of a twisted Atlantis. That was what he could recall clearly. What puzzled him where the other memories. He had an image of the cell in his mind, but he wasn't alone. Rodney was there, but he was dead, on the floor, covered in blood. Aiden was there, too, pointing a gun at him. There were other memories that made no sense. He was back on Atlantis, standing on the North Tower with Rodney. Rodney was begging him, telling him that everything was real, that it was not a dream. Then he'd fallen over the edge. After that, something had happened, he had been conscious on some level but there had been nothing but cold and darkness. All knowledge of his past had been gone. Everything was fading fast from his mind, like a dream in the morning.

John opened his eyes. The lights were dimmed in the room. The ceiling was grey and didn't give much away. John turned his head, regretting the move instantly when it caused the pain in his head to explode. His eyes watered and his vision blackened for a moment. When he had recovered, he took in his surroundings. An IV was stuck in his hand and what looked like a heart monitor stood next to his bed. Another piece of machinery stood next to the heart monitor, but John couldn't identify it. The infirmary once again. John wasn't sure how that had happened. If his memory was correct, he couldn't have survived that fall. John tried to push himself up on his elbows, but found that he could hardly move his arms. His limbs simply wouldn't obey him. All he got was a feeble twitch. John frowned, somewhat alarmed. Spinal injury? No, he wouldn't be able to move it all. Still, he would really like to talk to Beckett right now. Concentrating on his right arm, he tried to will it to reach for the call button. He had moved his hand maybe two inches when the doctor appeared, making a round to check on his patients.

John noticed that he wasn't the only patient at the moment. There were three other occupied beds in the infirmary. When Carson checked in the patient next to him, John called out.

"Doc?" At least that was what he was trying to say. What came out was nothing more than a strangled gasp.

Carson heard him and was at his bed in an instant.

"Major Sheppard? Relax; don't try to talk just yet." Carson pulled out his pen light and quickly checked the reaction of John's pupils. Pleased that they were reacting equally, he put the penlight away and turned back to John who was starting to look pretty alarmed.

"Major, you have been unconscious for quite a while." Carson raised the bed to a semi-sitting position and held a cup of water with a straw for John. After John had drunk, he closed his eyes for a moment.

"This real?" John whispered, not trusting his voice yet.

"I assure you. This is as real as it gets. Do you feel up to answering some questions?" Carson asked.

John nodded. He had quite a few questions himself, but he had been through the routine before.

"Do you know who you are?" Carson asked.

"Major John Sheppard." John whispered.

"Do you know where we are?"

"Atlantis, the Pegasus Galaxy."

"Do you know what happened?"

"I think I took a header down the tower...I don't understand...the pirates held me prisoner. I don't understand why I'm still alive." John whispered.

"You are recovering from a severe head injury." Carson chose his words carefully. "You remember correctly. The pirates help you captive for three weeks. You took a bullet to the head in the rescue."

When Carson saw John's shock, he went on.

"It didn't penetrate your skull. You suffered a skull fracture. There was swelling and some bleeding into your brain. It took a few days before we could get you back to Atlantis. You woke up a few days ago, but...but you were confused. We think it was due to your head injury. You and Rodney got into a confrontation and you fell of the Tower. Luckily the City has a failsafe system and you were rescued. We all have been waiting for you to wake up ever since."

Images flashed through John's mind. He saw himself struggle for the gun with Aiden. It had been an accident. Rodney's body in the corner, covered in blood.

"I remember, sort of. It's there, but it's all jumbled." John said.

"Give it time." Carson soothed. "How's the pain?"

"Head's pretty bad." John admitted. "I can't move right."

"I'll get you something for the pain in a minute. Your muscles haven't had much of a work-out in the past few weeks. You'll need some physical therapy to rebuild your strength. But you're right; you aren't in the clear yet with your head injury. There is still some swelling, which is responding to medication. But to be honest, your injury has gone untreated for a long time. In our favour, the pressure in your skull has been building up over time, reducing the damage." Carson said. He delivered so much bad news lately. These people were his friends and he couldn't help them. He wasn't used to treating his friends. It made everything so much harder. He was no longer losing patients, he was losing friends.

"The bottom line, doc?" John asked in a hoarse voice. He needed to know.

"You will improve. After the swelling has gone down and you have done physical therapy, you have a good chance of being mobile again." Carson said in a low voice.

John turned his head away. It was over. Everything just gone. He didn't notice when Carson returned and injected a pain killer into his IV. He drifted off to blackness.

TBC


	38. Told

A/N: Sorry for the delay. Hand tremors have been pretty strong the last few days, turning typing into a challenge. But hopefully I'm back in the game now.

oOo

Elizabeth sat in her office, making the last preparation for their contact with Earth. All the expedition members had submitted their messages, the reports had been compiled and Dr. Warren had encoded the data with their best encryption algorithm. Their transmission contained highly sensitive data, in the wrong hands, it could be devastating. Four expedition members had requested to return to Earth, for medical or personal reasons. Elizabeth saw no reason not to grant their request. She wouldn't hold anyone against their will. Elizabeth took the data chip that contained their transmission and stepped out into the control room.

"Dr. Warren. Load the data stream." She handed the data chip to the computer scientists.

"It will just take a minute." Dr. Warren replied and inserted the chip into the terminal.

"Dr. Grodin. Dial Earth." Elizabeth ordered, breaking out in a smile. She had waited ten months for this. The ten past months had been more difficult than she had ever expected. She had never thought they have to fight for their very survival.

"Connection established." Grodin announced as the vortex bloomed into existence.

Elizabeth tapped her radio, feeling the flutters of anxiety running through her. "This is Dr. Elizabeth Weir of the Atlantis Expedition calling Stargate Command. Please respond!"

"This is General O'Neil from Stargate Command. It's been a long time since we have heard from you Dr. Weir. We were thinking you had run into trouble." The general's voice came over the radio.

"We have run into a few snags over here. We have prepared a data transmission containing the complete reports on our mission and findings on the Ancient technology." Elizabeth said.

"We are prepared to receive the transmission." The SGC replied.

"All right, we are transmitting now." Dr. Warren announced.

Two minutes later, the reply came. "Transmission received Atlantis base."

"So, how has it been, Doctor Weir? We have 38 minutes until the Gate shuts down." General O'Neill said over the radio.

oOo

Carson peeled back the bandage over Rodney's left eye.

"Ow." Rodney complained as the tape caught in his eye brow.

"Keep still and let me look at that eye of yours." Carson scolded and shone a light in Rodney's eye.

"I can hardly see that!" Rodney exclaimed. „It's just shadows."

"Your eye is still infected. We didn't have much luck with your current anti-biotic, so I want to try you on a course of IV anti-biotics."

"Needles. I knew it! So, I will be staying for a while longer?" Rodney asked and sighed.

"Afraid so, Rodney. But you have good company. John woke up last night." Carson told him.

"What! You didn't wake me! How is he?"

"I've been better." John said from the next bed.

"John! Are you okay?" Rodney asked again.

"It's going to be all right." John lied. "How have you been holding up?" The image of Rodney cut up and covered in blood flashed in front of his eyes. Rodney looked pretty bad. John had seen enough burns to recognise that the raw, blistered skin on Rodney's face was due to burns. Adding the cuts and bandaged eye, Rodney looked like he had been through hell.

"Things have really gone to shit while you have been out. Teyla's gone blind, Ford's in the bed over there, Radek's got a Wraith implant in his brain and you can see how I look. But we have finally found that ZPM." Rodney babbled.

John stared at him. "Oh god." He didn't know what else to say. The thought of his own on injury had pushed back the thought for the moment. Now he realized the he wasn't the only one who'd suffer permanent repercussions.

"Who are they holding up?" He asked after a pause.

"We're doing all right, Sir. We have been worried about you." Suddenly Ford showed up at his bedside. He was in a wheelchair and the way he was handling himself suggested that he had some practise at navigating the wheels.

"It's great to see you awake, Sir." Aiden grinned. "It's not been the same without you."

"It's good to be back." John replied. Aiden's words rang true. It would never be the same again. He hadn't told Rodney and Aiden yet about the extend of his injuries, but they would know soon enough.

Carson broke up the chat a while later. Dr. Biro had come in and she was going to take John for some scans. John had sighed at the prospect, but it was pretty much routine after a mission had landed you in the infirmary.

None of them had mentioned them, but he had noticed the changed in Ford and McKay. Ford had lost what he had left of that boyish levity. He'd grown serious and there was darkness in his eyes that John had seen in the mirror before. It had been in those days after Afghanistan when John had stated to avoid the mirror.

oOo

Rodney's morning was going steadily downhill. Seeing John awake had boosted his spirits. For days he had feake up, seeing John's eyes look at him and hearing his voice had freed him from this worry. But something was still nagging at him. John was awake, but he wasn't all right. Rodney could tell.

He had seen John in the infirmary after being injured before, even after having been dead briefly after the Wraith tick incident and never had John admitted to feeling anything less than well.

Rodney had seen the weary look on John's face. It was very much not going to be all right. It would have been too good. But after all that had happened, Rodney couldn't really have expected time to just turn back. John had been locked up in a cell for three week, and the pirates had done god knows what to him during that time. It made Rodney sick just to think about. There were no limits to the cruelties that people could inflict on each other. Carson had taken John for some scans right after he'd woken up. Carson had been calm and collected, in his usual 'doctor-mode', but he'd seemed serious and John's lack of confidence had done nothing to reassure Rodney. He could tell that John had been worried. John didn't worry, or if he did. He didn't show it.

Rodney pushed away the cup of tea. Whose idea had it been to bring the Athosian tea to Atlantis? The stuff was vile, pure and simple. The coffee substitute was no nectar of the gods, but compared to the Athosian tea, it was almost as good as the real thing. Legend had it that Sheppard was the only one who has ever been brave enough to try the rotten smelling Athosian tea during his first encounter with Teyla and her people.

Rodney listlessly stirred in his bowl of porridge. It was grey, lumpy and stuck to his spoon. The food was getting worse every day. With all their supplies from Earth gone, they solely replied on trade. Rodney wasn't hungry any more. He put the tray aside and pulled up the blanket, curling up on his side.

When he heard footfalls approach him, he expected nurse redhead to come to take away to breakfast tray, but owner of the footsteps didn't leave, but dragged up a chair and settled down. Rodney figured it was probably Radek, who had plenty of time to kill anyways. If he played possum long enough, Radek would leave.

He didn't have that much luck.

"Dr. McKay. I'd like a moment of your time." Rodney recognised the voice of Atlantis' psychologist.

He opened his eyes. "I'm not feeling so well."

"Dr. Beckett told me. I want to talk to you about some thing we can do to help you get better." Kate said. "Do you want to join me down to the botany lab? They have built a nice little garden there."

Rodney snorted. It was the last thing he wanted right now. "As I said, I'm not feeling so well. I think I should stay in bed."

"We'll be back in half an hour. Even if it doesn't help, it will get you out of here for a while." Kate said in a firm tone.

Rodney had never been to the botanical lab. The botanists were growing plants native to the Pegasus Galaxy for the purposes of study and for potential future cultivation. They had opened the doors of one of the balconies and had turned both into a miniature garden. A few tables and chairs complete the arrangement.

"Many of the expedition members come here often. For those of us who never go off world, these are the only plants we ever get to see. Of course, you see your share of different planets." Kate commented as they stepped out on the balcony.

Rodney knew that she was baiting him. He wouldn't give her the satisfaction of taking it.

"What did you want to talk to me about?" He asked bluntly. He wasn't in the mood for games.

"Okay." Kate smiled. "We are a bit worried about you at the moment, to be honest. But Carson is ready to release you from the infirmary and back onto half-days of light duty on a few conditions."

Rodney hadn't expected that. Had Carson not said that his eye was still infected?

"You will still need to come into the infirmary for a few hours a day for your IV treatment. Carson said he'll clear you for computer and office work, but while your three-dimensional sight is impaired, you aren't cleared for lab work." Kate explained. "You can go back to work as long as you check in regularly with Carson for your treatments and that you see me on a daily basis."

"I don't think you know what actual science is about. I can't work sitting behind a desk. We have actual artefacts to work with. It's the chance of the life time and you are saying that I can't do my job!" Rodney yelled. "First you are putting that fool Kavanaugh in charge, and then you throw me out of the lab. What's next, I get sent back to Earth?"

"Dr. McKay! Calm down. Nobody is saying that you can't do your job. In the last month you have been through an experience that most people couldn't picture in their nightmares. You were stranded on an alien planet without your team and had to make it home on your own. You were barely recovered when you went to the exploration of the Ancient outpost and were involved in an explosion that seriously injured you. It will be slow at first, but that doesn't mean that anyone has given up on you. At the moment, light duty is all you can do while your body is still recovering." Kate reassured him.

"I know it's your job to reassure people, but I didn't think you'd underestimate me of all people." Rodney laughed. "It's not getting better. Carson is moving to yet another anti-biotic. The infection's destroying my optic nerve. What do you think is going to happen then?"

"Calm down, Dr. McKay." Kate put a hand on his arm, but Rodney shook her off, his arms crossed in front of his chest. "We should go back to the infirmary."

oOo

Kate scanned the cafeteria after she had picked up her tray. Elizabeth and Carson seldom ate lunch, but she hadn't found them in their respective offices. After her visit with Rodney had not gone over well, she felt like she needed to get more information from Carson and Elizabeth. She wanted to help the scientist, but right now, she couldn't.

Elizabeth and Carson sat at a table in the back of the cafeteria. Kate walked up to them.

"Hello. Mind if I join you?" She asked.

"Of course not." Elizabeth replied.

Kate took a seat. "I talked to Dr. McKay this morning. He is...preoccupied. His injury is putting a lot of mental stress on him and he doesn't know how to do deal with it. Dr. McKay's life centres on his work. It's his source of self-esteem. Now, he's afraid, he's going to lose that very central aspect of his life. He has already lost the position as lead scientist that he feels he deserves."

"At the time, Rodney was not fit to fill the position, you confirmed this yourself. And from what you are telling me, he still isn't stable. The Wraith will be here in a matter of weeks, I have to look out for the expedition." Elizabeth defended her decision.

"I agree with you. Rodney is suffering from stress in the aftermath of his experience on the rescue mission. His symptoms are not consistent with the profile of post-traumatic stress disorder, but there are a few similarities. I'd like to talk to him again a few time over the next two or three days. There are options for drug treatment for his mental state, but I'm not sure that is such a good idea in his case." Kate explained.

"I am pretty worried about him. He's recovering much more slowly than I expected. He's sleeping a lot, or at least dozing. He's very withdrawn and he hardly eats or drinks. I was hoping that Aiden and Teyla would be able to get through to him. But not even Radek has been able to draw him out of his shell for longer than a few minutes." Carson said.

"Right now, Rodney is so caught up in his own fears; it's very hard for anyone to get through to him. When I talked him, the only reaction I got from him was defence reactions." Kate said.

"When will you be releasing him?" Elizabeth turned to Carson.

"I was thinking about releasing him as early as tomorrow. He will still need treatment with IV anti-biotics for a few days, but there is really no need for him to stay in the infirmary all the time if the infection stays under control. Kate and I were talking about this and we thought that it might help Rodney to get his mind off things." Carson replied.

"I mention that to Rodney. He feels that he is being pushed out of the science department by being restricted from the lab." Kate said with a wince.

Elizabeth shrugged slightly. "I can't change that. With his three-dimensional vision impaired he is a risk factor at the lab."

"There are plenty of one-eyed artists, scientists and other professionals on Earth." Carson argued.

"We are working in a high risk environment. They work with technology that is way over our head. Technology that's bitten us in the ass several times in the past." Elizabeth countered.

"I think you should talk to Rodney." Kate said.

"Have you talked to John yet?" Elizabeth changed to subject, pushing her lunch tray away.

"I haven't cleared him for visitors yet. Right now, he's sleeping. I gave him a sedative a few hours ago to run some tests that can be stressful. He should be awake soon, but I want him to rest. He might be conscious now, but his condition is still critical." Carson said.

"It's important for victims to talk about their experiences as early as possible." Kate argued.

"I'll radio you later if John's up to it." Carson agreed. "But you'll have to keep it short. Ten minutes, he doesn't need any stress right now."

oOo

John figured that Carson must have slipped him something, because one minute a nurse Tiny had been injecting him with the contrast dye for the MRI, and the next minute, he'd found himself back in bed with the curtains drawn around him. He felt groggy, but he angry at the same time. The rage gave him energy. Beckett had had no right to drug him without warning. He was sick of waking up without remembering having fallen asleep.

"Carson!" He called out, even angrier that he was stuck behind the curtain, helplessly trapped in bed.

Promptly he heard footsteps and the curtains pushed back.

"Major, what can I do for you?" Carson asked, looking concerned as he mistook anger for distress.

"You could stop drugging me! I'm sick of being moved around like a piece of meat." John raged.

Carson didn't know what to say. The Major Sheppard he knew had a firm control over himself, even when faced with the most desperate situations or death itself. It wasn't like him to have an outburst like that.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean to yell at you like that. I guess...I'm just frustrated." John lowered his head. He was confused. The flash of rage he had felt was gone.

Carson settled down at the edge of the bed.

"No, it's quite all right. I should have told you that I was going to sedate you. I just wanted to make things easier for you." Carson explained softly. He wanted to understand why John was reacting so strongly.

"They drugged me. Two of them held me down...one would hit me with it. First it'd burn like hell, then pain..."

"I'm so sorry. I should have realised it sooner. I saw the marks on your arms." Carson confessed. He had only wanted to help his patient. He'd figured that it'd be unnerving for an immobile patient to submit to several hours of scans. He hadn't thought about the psychological effect that sedating John might have. He didn't know how he could have overlooked something like this. On days like this, he thought he should have stayed in genetic research.

"After a while, I didn't want to wake up in that cell anymore. It all started to drift away. I started seeing things...it was so real." John said as if talking to himself. His voice was calm and steady.

"Major, I found traces of a foreign substance on your blood when you were brought back to the City. There isn't much I can tell you, but from what I can tell it is a psychotropic agent and most likely a hallucinogen. What you were experiencing was a result of the drugs." Carson assured him. He could understand why John was worried, and he was not sure that this was his department. This was more Kate's area of expertise. He could tell John about the drug's effect, but he was at a loss at what else to do to reassure John that it was going to be all right.

"It was real. I was here, on Atlantis. You were here. But it was all different. I died. It was real." John repeated.

"It wasn't real and you didn't die. You are not going to die." Carson insisted. "I'm going to make sure of that."

"It must be bad if you say that." John looked up again, returning to the present again. "How am I doing, doc?"

John looked hurt and vulnerable in a way that Carson had never seen Atlantis' chief military officer before. It made him hate what this place was doing to them. Maybe Elizabeth was right, they never should have come here.

"There is still some swelling to your brain. There was some bleeding at the site of the gunshot wound, but it was minor and has healed on its own. I couldn't detect any more broken blood vessels, but there might be broken capillaries that our scans can't detect. I have you on steroids to reduce the swelling and on beta-blockers and blood-thinners to reduce the risk of blood clots forming. What you need is a lot of rest. Your system is vulnerable at the moment. Stress could really harm you." Carson told him.

John smiled sadly. "So, there will be more sedatives in my future."

Carson winced. "If you need them, yes. But I won't sedate you again without your permission. Unless there is no other choice."

"I'm sure that they too thought that when they'd jam that needle into me every damn day" John said sarcastically.

Carson got up. "Now that's not fair, major. I'm just trying to help you. I overstepped and I apologize, but I was only trying to help."

John shook his head. "I know, and I'm trying to get my head around it. It just...I don't know." Suddenly John found tears burning in his eyes. He tried to rub them away, but couldn't raise his arm far enough to reach his face. "Fuck!" John couldn't stop the first few tears from rolling down his face.

Carson knew better than to interfere. He hated to see his friend in so much pain, but right now there was nothing he could do for John. Whether he liked it or not, he had hurt John with his inconsiderate actions.

Silently, he left the curtained-off area around John's bed. They both needed some time alone. He would tell Kate that his patient wasn't ready for visitors yet.

TBC


	39. Blown Over

"That's enough for today." Dr. Kang held out her hand for the soft silver ball.

"I can do a few more minutes." John replied tensly, all his attention focussed on squeezing the small ball in his right hand.

It had been five days since he'd woken up in the infirmary and for the last three days, Dr. Kang had come by twice a day for his physical therapy sessions. John hadn't gotten to do a lot of physical work so far though. For the most part, Dr. Kang had been moving him. She'd explained that it was necessary to keep his muscles limber while he couldn't move on his own, but he was still uncomfortable with this part of his therapy regimen. He preferred to be the one doing the moving. Lying in bed wore on him; he looked forward to the therapist's visits. Working on his recovery was hope.

"Major Sheppard. You have been working very hard the last few days, but it will take time to see results. I can see that you don't feel well today." Dr. Kang reasoned when John failed to give her the ball.

"I'm kinda tired of being stuck in bed. I'd at least like to be able to feed myself. The food always goes cold before they get around to you." John bitched back.

It was easier to talk to stagers these days. For them he was just another patient. His friends, they all looked at him like they expected him to break any minute. It was pity, fear and guilt in their eyes. At the same time, they were glad that it wasn't them in his position. John didn't want to see any of this; he didn't want to see his friends. After he and Carson had come to blows, Elizabeth had come to see him, no doubt sent by Carson. John had told her that he didn't want to see her, or anyone else. To his surprise, Elizabeth had said nothing and left. Since then, he'd been left in peace. Carson hadn't made another appearance; his minions were carrying out his instructions. And they were following Carson's instructions to the letter. He'd been moved to one of the Ancient isolation rooms, away from the others. This was just as well with him, he wanted to be alone. John suspected that the contents of his IV and the two white pills that nurse Tiny brought him twice a day were the reason why he slept for the better part of the day. No one had tried to stick him with a needle; the pills had the same effect. They just took him down slower, enabling him to anticipate what was happening. It made the treatment bearable.

The door clicked shut behind Dr. Kang. John was sorry to see her go already. The therapy was the only thing that he had at the moment. In everything else, he fully depended on the help of the medical staff. John had done physical therapy before, after a very rough landing of his chopper. He knew how painful regaining strength and mobility could be. This time it was different. He felt the strain on his weakened muscles after a few minutes, but the spikes of pain were shooting through his head, not his arm when he finished. Dr. Kang had started him working on his hands. John didn't really see it, but Dr. Kang insisted that he'd made important progress in his ability to grip and move his fingers. He'd rather be able to life his arms far enough to feed himself. Anything that would allow him to perform basic daily tasks.

John knew he wouldn't be able to continue like this forever. It was like being trapped in a bubble. The days drifted by in a haze created by medication and his lingering head injury. Seven-teen or eight-teen hours of dreamless sleep, three meals, and two sessions with Dr. Kang took up almost all his waking time. Adding nurse Tiny's ministration, he didn't have time to think. Eventually, he'd have to and once Carson took him off the heavy-duty meds, he'd start to dream. It had happened to him before. When he'd messed up that landing, it was because the chopper had been shot at. There hadn't been supposed to be any hostiles, but suddenly he'd taken a hit. He hadn't crashed the craft, but the landing had knocked him out. It hadn't been a good place to go down. John had been thinking about Afghanistan more than about the pirates.

The door opened and nurse Tiny stepped in. John had never seen her wearing a uniform jacket, so he'd resorted to calling her nurse Tiny. She'd be pretty if she'd smile once in a while. She was carrying a tray

"Dr. Kang told me that you weren't feeling well after your physical therapy session. I brought you something for the pain." She put the tray on the table standing against the wall and came over with a large cup and a small one.

"Are you okay with drinking something? How is the nausea?" Tiny asked before she gave him the pills.

"I'm feeling a little queasy." John admitted. He had been feeling sick but had chalked it up to the drugs.

"Take those for the moment and I'll get you something for the nausea in a minute. Since when have you been feeling sick? You haven't been eating." Nurse tiny looked a bit pissed off, like he had done it on purpose.

"Since last night." Not that the food had tempted him to eat. He was still working his way up to solid foods. Pureed soomi root and broth were exactly gourmet dinner. At least they still had jell-o, one of the last food items left from Earth.

"Try to rest. I'll be back soon." Nurse tiny left again. John closed his eyes and let himself drift away.

oOo

Radek finished the last of his cooked beast. With a lot of imagination, it tasted like beef. They had gotten in a new delivery of meat early this morning from one of their allies. It had to last, so Deroche wasn't going to be serving steak any time soon.

"I wanted to ask you a favour, Dr. Zelenka." Dr. Jamison said. She had suggested they have dinner together. Radek had been surprised, since he couldn't recall knowing Dr. Jamison more than in passing, but he hadn't had much of a chance to socialize since he'd gotten out of the infirmary four days ago.

"You were working closely with Dr. McKay and...and I don't know how to say this without insulting anyone...you seemed to be able to work with him, as far as one can work with McKay." She babbled, breaking off.

"I'm not sure where you are going with this." Radek admitted. His memory of the last two months was vague, gone entirely in many places. Dr. Weir had told him about the changes in the department before his return to work, but he hadn't really gotten used to the new dynamic. Things didn't run the way they had run before.

"I know that Dr. Kavanaugh doesn't see eye to eye with me on this matter, but McKay should be in the department. He is brilliant and anyone who says otherwise is lying." She said strongly.

"I'm a bit confused. Dr. McKay is on medical leave." Radek wasn't sure what was going on but he had an idea. He had seen Rodney in the infirmary. The man didn't care about anything in his current state. Normally, he'd be plotting to kill Jamison and Kavanaugh for robbing his position.

"He is free to come back, on limited duty. We are under serious time pressure, as you know. Dr. Weir's new guidelines are quite clear. The deployment system for the bio weapon is our top priority. We need everyone in working condition on this project." Dr. Jamison insisted.

Radek's eyes narrowed. He wasn't a fan of the new guidelines. When the government dictated what the scientists should do, the results were usually destructive. He agreed that they needed to find a defence against the Wraith as soon as possible, but concentrating on a single project was risky. If it didn't work out, they'd have no other options. Radek hadn't been back long, but he'd already heard about other projects that some of his colleagues thought to be promising. Elizabeth was making it too simple.

"Talk to McKay. I want to see him at the lab tomorrow. He can work with you and Dr. Warren on the calculations." Dr. Jamison said in a tone that suggested that it was an order and not a request.

"I will do what I can. But you have to realize that Dr. McKay is not well. Perhaps you should wait." Radek tried to persuade her. He knew that Rodney would flip out when he suggested that he'd go back to work. But maybe that wasn't such a bad idea. At least that would get a reaction out of him.

"Dr. McKay has been declared fit for duty by Dr. Beckett and that is more than enough for me. I'm asking you to speak to McKay as a courtesy to him. If you can't convince him, I will order him to return." Dr. Jamison stated.

"We are not in the military. Have a good evening." Radek took his tray and got up. He had hardly known Dr. Jamison before she had been appointed to her current position. She was trying to follow Weir's lead. Radek didn't approve of her style, but she was right about one thing, someone had to talk to Rodney.

Radek headed handed in the tray and headed for the elevator. Seconds later, he left the elevator for Rodney's living quarters. He hadn't seen the other scientist in days and he knew that he had been released from the infirmary. Rodney was probably holing up in room.

Radek knocked against the door. "Rodney. Open up."

There was no response from inside.

"Come on, Rodney. Do you want me to sic Dr. Beckett on you?" Radek asked.

Rodney didn't respond.

"I'm going to call him now. Do you really want this?" Radek tried to cajole Rodney into letting him in. He wasn't sure anymore whether Rodney was just sulking or whether there was really something wrong with him. But he had to check in with the infirmary every day, so he had to be all right.

Radek tapped his radio. "Dr. Beckett. Can you come to Rodney's quarters?"

"What's happened?" Carson's voice came over the radio.

"He isn't opening the door. I think something might be wrong. I'm overriding the door lock right now." Radek replied while pulling the panel over the lock loose.

"He seemed okay when he came by this afternoon." Carson said. "I'll be there." The connection was closed.

Radek cursed under his breath as he worked on the door lock. Thankfully Rodney didn't seem to have come up with anything new in the time Radek had lost from his memory. Disconnecting all crystals, and then bridging then middle one still did the trick. The doors slowly slid open.

A figure was sitting on the bed, laptop balanced on the knees. Radek recognized Rodney. He didn't even look up when Radek entered.

"What do you think you are doing McKay?" Radek strode over and slammed the laptop shut. McKay slowly raised his head and looked at him, eyes glassy.

"I was playing minesweeper." He emphasized each word. "I was going for a new record. Now you ruined it."

"The explosion must have damaged your brain. Carson is on his way. I thought you were injured when you didn't answer the door. He is going to kill you." Radek yelled. He'd had enough. He had enough problem of his own to be dealing with this shit.

"Good. Then this will be your big chance to get away from it all." Rodney said and reopened his laptop.

"No quoting Star Trek! You're just hiding in your room, playing mine sweeper. You are a coward, McKay! You are not to only one who's been injured. But you are only thinking of yourself, like always. Frankly, I can't understand why people still want to help you. Get over yourself, you are feeling so sorry for yourself that you can't see anything else! If you can't talk to Heigthtmeyer, talk to someone else. And talk to John already!" Radek turned and stormed out, passing Carson on the way out.

By the time he was in the elevator, he was already regretting having blown up at Rodney like this. Being Rodney's friend was difficult at the best of times and these last few days had been hard. He'd been angry and frustrated, mostly at himself. Part of the anger that he'd unloaded on McKay hadn't been meant for him. The more he thought about it, the more he regretted his outburst. He didn't remember what had happened on the mission, he hadn't seen Rodney afterwards. He shouldn't have judged him so harshly. He'd apologize, later.

oOo

"Think about it."

Carson had heard Radek's entire tirade. He hadn't chewed Rodney out for making him come up in vain. Carson had to be crazy. Right after Radek. Rodney's life was a mess, but that didn't give Radek permission to throw all these accusations in his face. People probably said all that about him anyways, in the hallways of Atlantis, but telling him to the face was another story entirely. Radek was supposed to be his friend. But Rodney sucked as a friend, he wasn't team material. He'd failed his team on the mission. He'd been supposed to get John out of the cell and he'd messed up, delaying them. It was because of him that they'd been trapped on the planet, attacked by the hell hounds and later crashed on the Wraith planet. They were just pretending to care, he was sure of that. At least Radek was honest with him.

Rodney had never been one to make friends but he'd never cared. He'd loathed other kids when he'd been on school. They'd seemed cruel, their behaviour alien and incomprehensible. As an adult, human being had started to make more sense, but he still didn't care much for them. He loathed stupidity and the fact that large majority of people that he'd met in his life were not as intelligent as he was had created not few problems along his career. He knew that people thought him arrogant and generally he didn't care. He was arrogant for a reason after all, he didn't make mistakes. But he'd screwed up on the mission. Big time. Radek had been right, and he was going to tell him that

When Rodney stood in front of Radek's door, he wasn't so sure any more. He'd tell the man that he'd been right, but that hardly warranted a visit. Still, he'd never told Radek that he'd been wrong. Rodney knocked.

Radek opened the door.

"Rodney. Do you want to come in?" Radek seemed to be strangely subdued.

"Yeah." Rodney fidgeted. He wasn't good at admitted mistakes. It was not like he had a lot of practise.

"I only have one chair." Radek apologized "And the bed is unmade. Please, take the chair." He offered.

Rodney sat down. He wanted this to get over as soon as possible. "I just wanted to tell you that you were right. I screwed up on the mission and people got hurt...and people do think I'm arrogant."

"You came here to tell me that?" Radek laughed and Rodney suddenly knew it had been a bad idea to come.

"I never said you screwed up because you didn't. You didn't listen to anything I've said. You're hiding from everyone who wants to help you and your are walling in self-pity. You think you are responsible for everything. But even you can't control everything." Radek insisted.

"I'm not hiding. My skin's peeling off all over my face." Rodney lowered his head.

"Self-pity." Radek commented. "People respect you, no matter how you look. You have saved the City more than once. Nobody will forget that. Even Jamison wants you back at work."

"Heigthtmeyer told me." Rodney nodded

"You know, I was going to apologize to you, telling you that I didn't mean to say all these things to you, but you really are selfish. Not everything is about you. I don"' agree with Jamison or Kavanaugh most of the time, but we need to find a way to fight to Wraith. You are brilliant; sometimes you are a big idiot." Radek ranted.

Rodney said nothing. He heard Radek rummaging somewhere in his quarters. Radek had a point and Rodney was a man of logic.

"Here. Drink." Radek trust a hot metal cup into Rodney's hands. The smell of real coffee wafted at Rodney.

Radek took a sip from his own mug. "Now that we are done yelling, what is really bothering so much?"

"Losing all this. Losing Atlantis." Rodney took a sip and it tasted heavenly. "I lost the team, I lost my job and now that we can dial Earth, it's only a matter of time before Elizabeth sends me back to Earth." Rodney said grimly.

"In a few weeks the Wraith will be here. What do you think will happen then?" Radek asked.

"We'll die and if we are luck, take the City with us." Rodney replied.

"Exactly." Radek nodded. "All this will not matter at all."

"I get it, the bigger picture. Doesn't make it any easier." Rodney said.

"You want some whiskey in that coffee?"

oOo

Rodney had left Radek's quarters after one drink. Somewhere in the back of his mind, he'd recalled that anti-biotics and alcohol didn't mix. He'd planned to go back to his quarters but he ended up at next to the medical labs. The isolation rooms were next to the medical labs. It was already 2300; chances were that John was already asleep. He had to speak to John sooner or later.

John was in the third isolation room he checked. Rodney walked up to the bed. John was asleep. The head wound was still bandaged. When Rodney pulled up the chair, John started to stir. Careful not to make another noise, Rodney sat down. He wasn't sure whether he wanted John to wake up. He wasn't prepared for the reaction.

John opened his eyes, slowly focussing on Rodney. He seemed tired, drugged maybe.

"Rodney?" John's voice was sleepy.

"Yeah. I came to see how you were doing." Rodney managed.

"I don't want to see anyone." The words sounded almost slurred together. John turned his head away from Rodney.

"I didn't know that. I'm sorry I didn't come by earlier." Rodney apologized. He fumbled with his shirt.

"I told you, I didn't want to see anyone." John shot back.

"Well, I'm here and I'm not going anywhere." Rodney decided to take a leave out of Radek's book.

"Good. Keep quiet. I want to sleep." John replied.

His garbled speech worried Rodney.

"What are you hiding from, major?" Rodney asked.

"Come again?" John asked.

"That's what are you doing. You are hiding in this room and don't want to see anyone. Why?" Rodney poked.

"You figure it out, Answer Man." John replied tiredly.

"I will." Rodney promised.

TBC


	40. Hurt

When Jen Wallace walked into the isolation room, ready to check on Major Sheppard, she was surprised to find a visitor with him. Dr. McKay slept slumped over in a chair, snoring softly. She shook his shoulder.

"Dr. McKay. What are you doing here?" Rodney's eyes snapped open.

"What? I..." He mumbled looking around.

"You aren't supposed to be here." The nurse admonished. "Major Sheppard needs rest."

"Is all right." John mumbled from the bed, now awake. Hearing his voice, the nurse turned from Rodney to her patient. "Major. Can you look at me for a moment?"

"Mmh." John tried, but couldn't really focus. He had a splitting head ache. Going back to sleep looked like a really good idea. He closed his eyes.

"Major, open your eyes." Someone tapped him on the cheek. The nurse pulled out a penlight and checked his pupils. "Are you having a head ache? Double vision? Nausea?"

Too many questions. John was just tired. "Headache. Blurry." Talking was hard.

Suddenly everyone started talking at once and Rodney was there, yelling and arguing with the nurse. They made John's head ache worse. Then Rodney's was leaning over him. "I'm sorry, Major. You are going to be okay."

John wanted to shake his head but it would have hurt too much. Suddenly Rodney was gone and nurse Tiny was back. "I radioed Dr. Kang. She'll want to run some tests." She face was more tense than usual. The bed started moving and everything went black.

oOo

Rodney had refused to leave the infirmary after the nurse had wheeled off John for tests. He'd seen the look on her face. There was something seriously wrong and he was going to find out. Rodney had settled in the main room of the infirmary when Carson came in.

"Carson. What's happening?" Rodney asked as soon as he spotted the physician.

"You are leaving the infirmary, that's what happening." Carson seemed seriously angry. "What were you thinking, Rodney?"

"I'm not going anywhere until I know how John is doing." Rodney crossed his arm in front of his chest. Carson could yell all he wanted.

"I don't care that you and John have issues to work you. Right now, John needs to rest and keep stress to a minimum. He didn't want to see anyone and you came in and start pestering him. No wondering his blood pressure his sky high!" Carson exclaimed.

Rodney paled. "He was already slurring words when I came last night!"

"And you didn't mention this to anyone? Why didn't call Jen immediately?" Carson exclaimed.

The enormity of his oversight only started to dawn on him now. "No...I thought it was because of his head. I didn't know..." Rodney stammered. He was suddenly feeling sick. He needed to know that John was going to be all right. "How..."

Carson didn't hear him. "What the hell were you thinking, Rodney? You were with him the whole night! He might have been bleeding in-"

The words were echoing inside his head, drowning out everything else. The infirmary started spinning, and Carson's voice disappeared into a swirl of white noise. Rodney's fingers curled around the edge of the bed, trying to hold on to something, but like a raging river, oblivion washed over him and swallowed him whole.

oOo

Rodney woke up to a familiar headache and immediately knew that nothing good had happened. He didn't need to open his eyes to have the feeling that everything was spinning. He cracked open an eye and saw a shadow move across his field of vision. A moment later, something warm touched his shoulder.

"Rodney, can you open your eyes for me?" The doctor's familiar voice sounded from the side.

Rodney turned his head to see Carson standing at his side. The physician looked tired. Rodney had the feeling that he should know why, but he couldn't drag up the memory.

"That's good." Carson approved and started checking his pulse. "How are you feeling?"

Rodney licked his lip. They felt dry and hot. "Hot, tired." His voice sounded raw.

Carson released his wrist and came back with a cup. "Here. Have a sip of water." Carson held the cup for Rodney as he drank. The water was soothing and left him wanting for more, but Carson had already removed the cup. His back turned to Rodney, Carson spoke. "Once the glucose IV has run through, Jen will do another blood sugar test. You are running a temperature of 101.2. Dr. Biro is running your blood test right now. She'll have the result in about an hour. I'd like you to stay for your anti-biotics, but of the test comes back clear, you can go back to your quarters after that."

Carson sounded angry and Rodney wasn't sure why.

"What happened?" He asked, realizing that his clothes had changed to scrubs and that an IV was stuck in his right hand.

"Carson turned, now looking genuinely annoyed. "I think you know best. You are not doing yourself any favours if your aren't drinking or eating, Rodney. The world isn't revolving around you. It wouldn't hurt you to think of others for one second."

It all came back to Rodney now. Visiting John, waking up in the morning, seeing the nurse rush away John. John had been bleeding internally, possibly dying and he'd not even noticed. Carson was right about him, he really did saw nothing but himself. Still, he needed to know.

"How's John?"

Carson was already a few steps away, but he turned back. His expression softened a bit.

"He's resting now." Carson paused. "He developed some bleeding on his brain."

"I thought that was under control?" Rodney was scared.

"We've had trouble getting the swelling on his brain under control. It's been almost two weeks since he was injured. Now, the pressure has caused a blood vessel to leak." Carson explained, sounding grave.

Rodney's heart sank. "He's had a hemorrhagic stroke?" He didn't want to believe it, but he'd heard what Carson had said.

"Yes." Carson nodded. "I'm afraid so. Fortunately, it was a relatively small stroke, affecting a limited area."

It had to be a nightmare, it had to be. Before Carson could continue, Rodney asked. "How bad is it?"

"He got lucky. We can't tell for sure until he wakes up and we can examine him. But our scans have confirmed that only a small area of his brain was affected." Carson said.

Rodney swallowed. At least something. "Can I see him?"

Carson shook his head. "We're aggressively trying to bring down the swelling inside his skull and he is sedated at the moment anyway. He needs to wake up as gently as possible. This isn't a good time to visit, especially with the issues you two have been having lately."

"He shouldn't wake up alone. I promise I won't upset him." Rodney persisted.

"Your track record lately hasn't exactly been impressive, Rodney. And I need you here for your anti-biotics." Carson said.

"I can sit with John while the IV is running." Rodney insisted. "I promise I'll call you as soon as there is anything." He felt the need to be there when John woke up. He could only image what John was going through right now. John didn't want his friends to be there for him, but he was wrong and Rodney was determined to prove it to him.

"All right. But you call me as soon as he shows any sign of waking. And if I tell you to leave, you do no fussing about." Carson laid out the rules.

Rodney nodded. "Whatever."

oOo

Somewhere in the distance, John heard beeping sounds that hadn't been there before. It sounded like the infirmary, but that made no sense, I was already there. He tried to open his eyes, but his body wouldn't co-operate. It took all he had, to get them open even a tiny bit. All he saw were white clouds. Suddenly blurred shape moved in front of his eyes and he could hear muffled sounds.

Then a clear shout.

"Carson. Come here. I think he's waking up."

John drifted off again.

oOo

"And, how is he?" Rodney shot up from his chair. Carson had threatened him with bodily harm if he didn't leave the infirmary after he'd chased him from the isolation room. In the make-shift waiting area, he'd meet Aiden and Teyla, who'd obviously heard about what'd happened and were waiting for news.

"He's still asleep." Carson replied. The three waiting expedition members were clearly disappointed.

"But he was waking up when I called you. I don't understand." Rodney said in confusion.

"He's sedated. It can take a while from him to wake up. And no, you can't go back in there. I don't need you yelling like crazy again." Carson returned.

"Will Major Sheppard be well again?" Teyla asked, speaking for the first time.

"Well, I won't speculate as to his existing injuries, since frankly we haven't much of an idea about them yet, but right now our biggest concern is the pressure that the swelling is causing on his brain. It's causing strain on the blood vessels on it could cause another rupture and there is no guarantee that it won't be more severe." Carson said sorrowfully.

"What can you do to help him?" Aiden asked.

"For the moment, we are treating him with steroids for the swelling and beta-blockers to keep his blood pressure down. He needs to keep as calm as possible. But that might not be enough. There are surgical options of relieving the pressure built-up." Carson explained. He didn't look too happy.

Rodney picked up on it. "What's the catch?"

"We didn't come prepared for these kinds of injuries. There is no qualified neurosurgeon on the expedition. We brought extensive medical documentation, but it isn't a substitute for experience. We are going through are medication supplies at a faster rate than anyone ever expected. In two months time, we'll be out of major pain killers and I doubt the sedatives will even last that long. The major will have to take blood thinners and beta-blockers even if we lower the pressure successfully. It's a difficult situation." Carson admitted. He hadn't meant to say all that. He wanted to give John's friends as much hope as he realistically could.

"You are a very skilled healer, Dr Beckett. Do not lose hope. I have faith in Major Sheppard's strength to get through this." Teyla said intently.

"I hope you are right about this." Aiden agreed, taking her hand. The young soldiers was still bound to a wheelchair, but had been released from the infirmary.

"Rodney, I believe you never had that blood test. Come." Carson said. He felt dead tired, even though it was early afternoon.

Rodney followed Carson into the infirmary and sat down in the exam table that Carson had indicated. The air was heavy with tension. He could tell that the events had taken a heavy toll on Carson, even more so then usually when a patient had taken a turn for the worse.

A little prick in his index finger and a minute later the result of his blood sugar test was in.

"Still on the low side, but I think we can forgo more glucose. A meal should do it, and then we'll see." Carson told him the results of his blood sugar test. "I'll see about the anti-body test now. I'll be back in a minute." Carson left for the medical labs.

Rodney wrapped his arms around himself. The truth was, he hadn't been feeling well since his release from the infirmary. He'd been feeling tired and run down. He'd chalked it up to the drugs. He'd not feeling hungry the last few days. The thought of hypoglycaemia had entered his mind and he'd felt the familiar symptoms, but it hadn't mattered to him.

Carson was coming back from the lab, a piece of paper in his hand. His face was a tired mask; Rodney couldn't tell what kind of news he was bringing.

"What's the verdict?" Rodney asked with more levity than he felt. In truth, he was terrified. His fear had only been pushed back by his worry for John.

"The infection is still festering." Carson sighed. "It hasn't spread further than your eye, and there has been a slight decrease in the levels of anti-bodies in your blood, but not really enough to say that the anti-biotics treatment has been effective."

Rodney lowered his head. This was turning into the worst day of his life. "What's next?"

"I wish we had more resources available. There might be some new or experimental drugs that could help. For now there are a few more modifications that I can make to your anti-biotics cocktail. Any one of them might do the trick." Carson said, rubbing a hand over his face, Rodney could tell that he wasn't holding out much hope.

"Lie down and relax. Jen will be over in a minute and get you settled in a bed." Carson said softly.

"Why?" Rodney asked, but in reality he didn't care.

"You had a couple of hard days. You are still slightly dehydrated, your blood sugar is low and your eye is infected." Carson reeled off the list. Rodney had the feeling that there was something else that Carson wanted to keep on eye on him, but he didn't protest, He lied down, closing his eyes.

Fifteen minutes later, he was curled up in a bed in the ward of the infirmary. He was covered with an extra blanket, he'd been shivering by the time the nurse, Jen, had arrived. She's ordered yet another blood test and had then set up another glucose IV.

Rodney was worn out, yet he couldn't seem to fall asleep. His mind was keeping his own hours. The thought of John wouldn't leave him. With the storm of events, he was only slowly starting to process the thought that it was his fault that John's condition had not been detected for hours. He had been bleeding inside his brain all night and he hadn't noticed. There was no excuse for that. He couldn't only hope that John would come out of this okay. But how much worse could it get, the man was already paralysed! Which was also his fault. Maybe he should just go back to Earth right now...

Earth! That was it. He'd been worried about being sent home all the time, without realizing that going back to Earth might be the answer. They could save John on Earth! Why hadn't he thought of this before? He should have realized it when Carson told him about their limited resources, but there was something better on Earth, Something better than neurosurgeons and anti-biotics. He'd read about this when he'd worked at area 51. The Tok'ra healing device. They'd be able to cure John. The realization shot through Rodney like a bolt of lightning.

Of course, he'd be stuck on Earth. At least until they'd found a way to gate to Atlantis. Or until the SGC built a ship with hyper drive engines. But better stuck on Earth than permanently paralysed, Rodney guessed. The SGC had been working on building ships with the Asgard hyper dive when they had left for Atlantis. How far off could they be? A few months maybe?

He had to talk to Elizabeth. She just had to agree and Rodney had a feeling she would. This could wait. No longer tired, Rodney pushed himself up in bed. He was just about to get rid of his IV when the nurse from early appeared out of thin air.

"You shouldn't be going anywhere, Dr. McKay." She scolded. "The IV stays in."

Rodney didn't have the time to bother with her. He pulled back the covers and swung his legs over the edge.

"It's urgent." He barked, ready to go for the IV needle again when he saw Carson hurrying towards him. He knew he was finished.

"Now what's going on here?" Rodney couldn't decide whether Carson was just tired or whether he was really pissed off.

"Dr. McKay insists on leaving." Nurse Nasty reported.

"Rodney, back into bed." Carson ordered in a long suffering tone. He threw to covers back over Rodney.

"Carson, listen, I need to talk to Elizabeth. It's important." Rodney pleaded, secretly glad to be under the warm covers again.

"I'm not keeping you here for fun." Carson said and pinched his nose. "After your IV has run through, I'll call her down here. Now try to rest."

"Thanks."

TBC


	41. Undecided

When John woke again, Elizabeth was sitting in the chair that Rodney had occupied just a moment ago. John shook his head slightly. His sense of time was messed up, probably the result of his head injury.

"Elizabeth?"

"John. Carson told me that stress isn't good for you right now, but I still need to talk to you. I'll try to keep it short, then you can go back to sleep, okay?" Elizabeth tried to smile, but failed.

John didn't tell her that he was tired of sleeping all the time. Instead, he just looked at her.

"Rodney already told you. We think it's the best if you return to Earth. Atlantis isn't safe and we don't have the resources the SGC has." Elizabeth explained.

"He told me. That healing device they have lying around." John said.

"Carson's gone over the data on record and according to him you have a pretty good chance of recovering with the help with the healing device and follow up physical therapy."

John said nothing. He knew that already, but he also knew what could happen if the healing didn't work, or didn't work well enough.

"I've made recommendations for everyone returning for you to stay part of the Stargate program on Earth. General O'Neill's opinion carries quite a bit of weight and he's sympathetic to the Atlantis mission." Elizabeth said. She didn't feel good about sending any of her people back home.

"I'm not exactly the kind of guy the SGC is looking for, with my stellar track record. The ATA gene isn't going to help me on Earth." John couldn't help being slightly bitter about losing what had been without a doubt the greatest assignment of his career. He hadn't really deserved it; it had been mere luck in the genetic draw that had given him the once-in-a-lifetime chance to travel to another galaxy. He wouldn't get a chance like this again. Without the advantage of the natural ATA gene, he wasn't an outstanding officer. He'd screwed up more often than he should and he wasn't too good at following orders. By the time his first three months in Antarctica had been over, he'd made peace with his choices. He hadn't even wanted another assignment. When Elizabeth had offered him a place on a top secret expedition, he hadn't known what to do. Antarctica was simple and at least he got to fly, after the Air Force wouldn't let him fly anywhere else in the world anymore.

"A liaison officer from the pentagon will take help take care of all the paperwork and arrangements when you get back. I called in a favour." Elizabeth told him.

John frowned. He appreciated Elizabeth's efforts, but she made him feel like an invalid, which probably wasn't too far from the truth. He did rely on outside help for almost everything.

"Her name is Major Reyes. She's got good contacts in DC and to the SGC. She'll recommend you and the others for re-instatement into the Stargate program once your health allows it." Elizabeth promised. She too had to believe that they had a future worth coming home to.

"Others?" John asked drowsily. He was getting tired, but he hadn't known that anyone else was returning to Earth. It didn't make sense. The others would get well again, eventually.

"I spoke to Teyla earlier. Her people aren't accepting her blindness, in their society, a disability a person with a disability as seen as a liability. Carson can't do anything for here and Atlantis doesn't have much to offer. I think it's only fair to offer her this opportunity. She'd have opportunities on Earth that we can't give her here." Elizabeth argued.

John didn't think it would be a good idea. He admired Teyla in many ways. She was brave, strong, a skilled negotiator and one of the best fighters John had ever seen. But she came for a world very different from Earth. Atlantis wasn't a fair representation of what life was like on Earth. Teyla's people valued things that the people of Earth had long forgotten.

"I don't think she'd be happy on Earth." John said. He knew that Elizabeth had a point too.

"It's Teyla's choice to make. She's on the mainland now." Elizabeth answered. "Rodney and Aiden will also return to the SGC. Carson thinks they can receive better care at the SGC."

John knew what that meant. They were sent home as damaged goods, not fixable anymore. But Rodney, they needed him on Atlantis.

"You can't send Rodney home!" He protested.

"I know it's a hard decision, but Rodney isn't recovering. He brought up the subject of returning to Earth. I think he wants to go back." Elizabeth admitted.

"Rodney is stuck in this gigantic mind of his. He thinks he is omnipotent and that everything is his fault. Of course he wants to leave." John whispered. "You can't let him leave. Atlantis needs him. You need his brain, even if he physically isn't able to do everything anymore." He was fading fast; the medication the drip was feeding him was dragging him back to sleep.

"I will talk to Rodney again. But I don't believe in holding anyone against their will. Rodney isn't a member of the military and I have no right to prevent him from getting the best possible medical treatment." Elizabeth argued. It was clear that she had thought about the issue before coming to see John.

"Get some rest, John." She squeezed his hand.

oOo

Teyla was sitting cross-legged on her bed, dressed in tradition Athosian garb. She had her eyes closed and her hands were lying loosely in her lap. If she hadn't asked her in, Elizabeth would have thought that the Athosian was meditating.

"Teyla. I have come to talk to you about something. May I have a seat?" Elizabeth asked, not sure how to approach Teyla.

"Of course Dr. Weir. How did the contact with your world go this morning?" Teyla asked, still not opening her eyes.

"It went fine. It was good to hear their voices again." Elizabeth admitted. "In a way, it's what I have come to talk to you about. My people are offering...sanctuary to our wounded. Atlantis is not a good place for them." Elizabeth was hoping not to offend Teyla. She had a feeling it had not gone over well with Sheppard. She was only doing what was best for the expedition.

"The sick and disabled are the first to fall to the Wraith. My people do not care for them like you do. They would not have provided for me now that I have lost my sight. I am grateful that you have let me stay in the City. If you wish me to go to your planet, I will oblige." Teyla answered.

"No, you don't have to feel obligated, Teyla. I want to help you. You have done a great service to this expedition and you are welcome to stay here as long as you want. But if the Wraith attack, we might not be able to protect you here. You would be safe on Earth. There might be even a way to help you. We have technology available back on our planet that might cure you."

Teyla smiled. "This is not important. I cannot make that decision alone. I need to return to my people. We value relations to much to break them lightly."

"I will make the arrangement for a pilot to take you to the mainland as soon as possible." Elizabeth promised. "My people will look forward to meeting you."

oOo

Elizabeth was sitting next to his bed, reading from a folder when Rodney woke up. He didn't remember falling asleep, but he figured that he must have dozed off. Elizabeth closed the folder and put it down in her lap.

"Carson told me you wanted to talk to me." She looked like someone had died. It was a look that Rodney hadn't seen on her very often.

"I have been thinking about what's happening lately and the permanent repercussions." Rodney said tentatively, „I think there might an option we haven't exhausted yet. The Tok'ra healing device on Earth."

Elizabeth thought for a moment. "I did think about sending some of you back to Earth. Atlantis doesn't have the resources to provide adequate care for everyone. But I was going to wait until I brought up the issue. Frankly, I hadn't thought of the healing the device and I have to admit that I'm not entirely familiar with it. I have read mentions of it in reports from the SGC, but that's all I know. I have no idea whether any of you could be helped with it." Elizabeth said.

"The device was being researched at Area 51 while I was working there, so I know quite a bit about it, but Carson needs to have a look at the data." Rodney admitted.

"That sounds promising. I'll have him evaluate the data immediately." Elizabeth said. "But the use of the healing device falls under the authority of the SGC. I can make the recommendation, but I can't order it."

"I see." Rodney nodded. He hadn't thought of that, but it made sense.

"You realize that this might be a one trip. So far there is no way to return to Atlantis for anyone travelling to Earth. In the communication we have received from the SGC, there was an update for our scientific database, including updates on any technology found back home. They didn't find any Ancient technology or other similar power sources. They did make progress with the implementing the Asgard hyper drive into Earth design ships. But they are months from being space-worthy." Elizabeth informed him.

There was a pause.

Rodney finally broke the silence. "What do you think? Is that the road we want to go down?"

Elizabeth leaned forward. "I don't think we have any choice here. We are weeks away from a Wraith attack. My responsibility is to safety of the members of this expedition. If sending you back to Earth is in the best interest of your safety and the expedition, you won't hesitate to do it." Rodney realised that Elizabeth had made the choice before she'd known about the healing device.

"We'll have to decide soon." Rodney said, thinking about John.

"I know. Carson told me. I was going to talk to you tonight." Elizabeth sighed. She wasn't looking forward to those conversations.

"Talk to me? You want me to go back to Earth?" Rodney asked.

"Carson and I have thought about. He is concerned about your recovery. He believes the infection has already damaged the optic nerve of your left eye. Carson is checking out the data we have regarding the healing device now. I'm going to contact the SGC later today. They are ready to receive people in need of medical assistance." Elizabeth said firmly.

Rodney thought for a moment. Atlantis was the opportunity of a lifetime, the dream of any scientist. He would have sold his soul to go there. However, things had turned out in a way he had never expected. He'd lost his position, the respect of his peers and friends and even his health. The trip to a new galaxy had been costly. He'd seen wonders that nobody on Earth had ever dreamt of, but he'd also seem life-force sucking monsters that lived to kill humans. Life in the Pegasus Galaxy was hard. They'd been cut off from their home for almost a year, their supplied were running out and the Wraith were at their doorstep. It was only getting worse. Rodney was tired of it all in some ways. He hadn't lived up to the expectations.

"Carson is going to release you later, to give you some time to pack and get ready." Elizabeth interrupted his thought.

Rodney didn't protest. He just had one request. "I want to talk to John."

You can do that. Just check in with Carson first."

oOo

Sleep was like a blanket that was slowly being lifted from John. Vestiges of sleep mixed with the stuffy feeling of sedatives. His body felt like it was being weighed down with lead, but there was something different from before. John tried to open his eyes, but they seemed glued shut. He just couldn't open them. He wanted to reach for his face, but his arms wouldn't obey him. He panicked, his arm wouldn't move at all anymore. Not even a twitch. He felt his heart thumping against his breastbone and he was struggling for breath. He tried to move as much as a finger and finally felt a tingling sensation shoot up his arm. The intensity brought tears to his eyes. He let out a groan in frustration. He tried again, even as his strength was vain.

"John, calm down. It's going to be all right." A calm voice that sounded familiar stopped him.

"Carson?" He asked, as an image of a man came to mind. The name sounded slurred even to his own ears. It scared him.

"It's all right. Can you open your eyes?" Carson asked the impossible.

John pried his eyes open for a moment, but they slipped shut a second later.

"That's good for the moment. Try to relax." Carson encouraged, but he could tell that John was frightened.

"There was a blood vessel leaking inside hear brain. I know it sounds bad, but you'll recover from this." He watched John's face for any indication that he'd understood. The man's face was still tense, but there was no longer the look of total panic.

"No Dr. Biro will do some tests. It won't take long, and then you can rest. Just remember, you are going to be fine."

oOo

Rodney was working on annotations to his work on Atlantis, just in case people wanted to use his brilliant notes to continue his projects. He realized that the under-taking was somewhat in vain since he'd been stripped of his position. His projects were probably collecting dust on some shelf in the lab. What a shame. Who knew what secrets would never be discovered.

Rodney typed away on his laptop while casting an eye on John every few minutes. He had talked Carson into letting him stay with John after Dr. Biro's neural exam had revealed additional weakness in his right arm, but he's still had some feeling and the doctor was confident that the soldier would recover. That of course left the paralysis from his earlier injury that the doctor still hadn't managed to fully explain, let only treat effectively.

When Rodney saw John stirring, he closed the laptop and watched his friend slowly wake up. John's eyes fluttered open and Rodney got up to make his presence known.

"Hey." He tried for a smile. John only flinched and turned his head away.

"Go away." His speech didn't sound right, but Carson had told him about that. Hopefully it would with time.

"I'm not going. This is important. I told you yesterday, you can't hide." Rodney insisted.

John refused to answer.

"Elizabeth let me tell you the news. We are going home." Rodney announced, waiting for John's reaction.

John turned his head to face Rodney. "Earth?"

"Yes, good old Earth. It was fun while it lasted." Rodney said sarcastically. He still needed to come to terms with this on his own.

John just nodded.

"Elizabeth contacted the SGC an hour ago. Carson wants you safely back home faster than you can dial Earth. But we can look forward to it. Not only do I get to see Sam again, they also have a healing device at Area 51. The general agreed to get it for us." Rodney was being flippant. He didn't want to show how afraid he was, not in front of John, who really had reason to be afraid.

"Can it fix this?" John asked.

Rodney fidgeted. "Carson says it probably will. But you know him. Voodoo and all. He made me promise not to upset you and he's coming by later with Elizabeth to give you all the details." Rodney explained, trying to keep the conversation as normal as possible. He didn't know how to deal with a disabled John and he wasn't about to start. John was going to be all right. They'd fix him at the SGC.

"You'd come with me Rodney?" John asked, whispering.

"I heard about the healing device when I was working at Area 51." Rodney didn't mention that it had been Elizabeth's idea to send them back to Earth.

"Knew you'd figure something out, Answer Man." John whispered, closing his eyes.

"It was the least I could do. Look I didn't realize what was going on last night and I left you there all night. Carson said that there's weakness in your arm-"

"Stop." John interrupted him, trying to speak as strongly as he could. "It was going to happen anyways. Leave it."

oOo

Normally people would have walked up to her as soon as they saw her approach, greeting her, wanting to hear the newest from the City of the Ancients and eager to share the newest gossip. When Teyla, accompanied by Sergeant Stackhouse walked through her village this time, people shot her looks of disgust. No one spoke to her. She could hear muffled whisper, probably spoken behind raised hands, but no one addressed her directly. She had become a burden to her people. Markham led her across the village square to Halling's tent.

"Stay outside. I will be fine." Teyla asked in a low voice as they stood outside the tent.

"Are you sure? Your people seem pretty apprehensive." Stackhouse asked.

"Halling is a friend." Teyla stated and slipped into the tent.

The familiar odour of scented candles and stew greeted.

"Teyla!" Halling's booming voice sounded from ahead and a pair of arms enveloped her. "You shouldn't have come here. I know the Atlantians have different customs and I am glad for you. But it is not the way our people. You have to understand them."

Halling guided her to the bench at the table. "Sit down. I will make us a cup of tea."

Teyla heard Halling rummage around and soon the scent of tea mingled with the other odours. The cup hit the table and vapour wafted in her face. She wrapped her hands around the mud, letting the heat seep into her hands.

"What brings you here?" Halling asked her after they had had their first taste of the tea.

"Dr. Weir has offered me to return to the planet of her people." Teyla said.

"What do you think?" Halling asked.

"It is a generous offer. The Atlantians have done much for us since they came here. We can learn a lot from them. But, I also think that there is a lot that we don't know about them yet. They come from very from far away, and their world is very different from what we know." Teyla explained, trying to sort her thought. Since Elizabeth had come to her quarters, a jumble of thoughts had been going through her mind.

"They aren't the Ancestors, Teyla. Your people have been living in among the planets of the Ancestors since the beginning of time. Don't you think you belong here?" Halling asked her.

"You said yourself. We have no place for the sick and infirm." Teyla said. It will be hard to leave this all behind."

"You are determined to leave?" Halling asked, taking another sip of tea. He wasn't surprised. Teyla had connected to the Atlantians in a way that he had never understood. He wasn't sure whether genuine understanding, respect or rather admiration for the descendants of the Ancestors.

"Losing my sight wasn't easy." Teyla confessed for the first time. She'd never talked to anyone about her blindness. "The Atlantians, they may be different, but they can be true friends. They have not left me alone when I lost my sight."

"I don't know as much us you about the Atlantians and many of their ways don't make sense to me, but I'm grateful to them for what they have done for you. If you are sure that you want to join them, then it is the right thing to do." Halling said and Teyla could hear the smile in his voice.

"Thank you for listening to me." Teyla said and finished her tea.

"I am your friend, Teyla. I will miss you when you are gone." Halling took her hand. "Your father always said that you would surprise us all."

"You remember?" Teyla smiled.

"I remember your father well. He was a wise man." Halling said. "Now, tell me, what has been happening in the City?"

oOo

"Rodney, I need to talk to you for a minute." Elizabeth announced and pulled up a chair.

Rodney nodded. "Okay." He was a bit suspicious, but relieved that it didn't seem that something had happened to John. She would have said that right away.

"When I talked to you about returning to Earth, I might have been a bit premature. I wanted to ask you to reconsider going." Elizabeth said, not looking at Rodney. She didn't like asking Rodney to stay in Atlantis; he'd have better opportunities on Earth.

"I don't think I'll be much use here. I failed everyone. I screwed up. I should go back to Earth. Radek can do my job just as well as I can. He'll figure something out in time. He's good at what he does. You really don't need me here." Rodney babbled, wring his hands. He was clearly upset. He also seemed confused. Elizabeth hadn't seen Rodney confident and cranky since the mission.

"That's not true, Rodney. We need your expertise here." Elizabeth wanted to leave to choice to Rodney. It wasn't her right to deny him to go home and possible get well again, but she didn't want him to make the choice for the wrong reasons. Right now, Rodney was upset and not dealing with what had happened.

"I don't think you need me." Rodney shook his head. He sounded utterly defeated. "I did everything wrong. Look at what happened to John, Aiden and Teyla!"

"You didn't do anything wrong." Elizabeth reassured him, knowing that Rodney wasn't in any state to listen to him. She had hoped that the visit with John would have helped to reassure Rodney, but she had seen John herself. It could be difficult seeing John confined to a bed. "Stay here and lie down again. I'll send Carson along."

Rodney rubbed his face, He felt both giddy and worn. He didn't know what do or think anymore. That was something that would have never happened to the old Rodney McKay. But the old Rodney McKay was gone.

"Come on. Take off your shoes." Elizabeth urged him. Rodney hadn't noticed she was still there. He slipped out of his shoes and lied back down on the bed, closing his eyes. He was tired of everything. It just never stopped. The last thing he noticed was the blanket settling over him, and then he drifted off to sleep.

oOo

Rodney woke up to the sound of ruffling paper somewhere at his side. He slowly opened his eyes and found the lights agreeably dimmed. He felt odd, like the air was heavier than usual. He recognised the feeling of being sedated. It hadn't been long since the last time, the memory was still fresh. When he'd woken up after the explosion on the outpost, he'd felt similar.

Rodney turned her head, searching for the source of the rustling sound. Carson was sitting in a chair, busy reading a file.

"What happened?" Rodney asked his lips and tongue feeling a bit stiff.

Carson put down the file. "You needed the rest. Elizabeth told me that it didn't go so well." Carson sounded sympathetic.

Rodney didn't reply. Instead he reached for the glass of water in the table at the side. Carson saw what he wanted and gave it to him. When Rodney was finished, he put the glass back.

"What time is it?" Rodney asked finally.

"About 1500." Carson replied. "Are you feeling all right?"

"No." Things were very much not all right. He felt physically better, mostly thanks to the drugs, but internally, he still felt on edge. He just wanted to feel normal again.

"I had some food brought down from the cafeteria. You haven't eaten at all today. Glucose isn't a substitute for actual food." Carson handed Rodney a tray.

Rodney eyed the food. There was a glass filled with a purplish liquid, probably the military issue grape soda that came mixed from power. Rodney wondered where Carson had the drink from, for the last two months, Rodney had only seen Lemon flavour powder drink. On the plate what passed for a sandwich these days. A two flat pieces of bread, made out of a type of cornmeal, filled with roast beef. They had yet to find cheese in the Pegasus Galaxy. Reluctantly, he grabbed the sandwich and took a bite.

Carson let him eat for a while, but didn't move from the chair. Rodney didn't feel comfortable being watched. He put down the food.

"Carson?" He looked at the physician, realising why the man was there. In a few hours, John, Aiden and Teyla, his team, his friends, they would return to Earth.

"What's going to happen?" He asked. He didn't know what Elizabeth had told Carson.

"Elizabeth talked to me, to Kate and to Radek. We are worried about you. You are vital to this expedition, nothing has changed about that, but Elizabeth won't force you to stay on Atlantis." Carson told him.

Rodney just shrugged and said nothing. He didn't know what to do. It felt like his mind was fractured and it was only getting worse since he'd had the idea the return the Earth.

"Rodney, I have known you for a while now." Carson said. "I know how much you have put into this expedition, even before we ever left Earth. But you have worked on the Stargate program before, even before we knew Atlantis existed." Carson had first met Rodney at Area 51. Rodney had been working on a theory to explain the physics of the Stargate, all without ever having seen a Stargate while Carson was new to Area 51 after the military had expressed interest in the gene therapy.

"What I'm trying to tell you, you have something to go back to on Earth if you return. You have a lot of healing to do. Physically and mentally." Carson said to him.

Rodney nodded. He understood. Carson was concerned about him. On Earth, he'd probably be healed, and he'd be putting an end to the nightmare he seemed to be caught in during the last few weeks. But despite all the hardship, he'd gotten comfortable in Atlantis; he'd made friends and gotten out of the lab for the first time in his career.

"Can I sit with John until it's time?" Rodney asked. He needed time to think.

"He's sleeping, but yes, you can see him." Carson allowed.

oOo

John had imagined going home quite a few times, but never like this. He'd always expected to walk through the Gate on his own two legs. When walking was clearly out of the question, John had begged Carson to put him into a wheelchair, but Carson had been adamant. Gurney it was. At least he didn't have to lie down flat, Carson had given in and let him keep his upper body inclined at an angle. It left him with some feeling of control, if only because he could see what was going on around him.

As the nurses Tiny and Erin lifted him onto the gurney, settled a blanket over him and secured him, John drifted back to what he had left behind on Earth. He hadn't had much of a career, Antarctica had been a dead end, but he had been content. Life had been easy.

On Atlantis he'd stumbled into a position that he hadn't been prepared for, a command that he hadn't been supposed to have. After Afghanistan, the US Air Force wouldn't have entrusted another command to him. He'd like to think that he'd done well enough. The screw-up on the last mission was just one of those bad breaks. John had seen it happen all the time.

"Are you comfortable enough, Sir?" Erin asked, drawing John back to the present.

"Yes, thank you." John replied, not really feeling comfortable, but realizing that it was not the nurses' fault.

His discomfort must have shown on his face because the next thing he knows, Tiny was there with a syringe.

"I can give you a mild sedative for the trip. Not enough to knock you, just enough to relax you a bit." She said softly.

John shook his head. It was bad enough that he wouldn't make it through the Gate under his own power, but arriving at the SGC on a gurney was one thing, drooling on the pillow with everyone watching was another.

"Everything all right, Major Sheppard?"

John hesitated. It seemed stupid when he thought about it. But in this situation, it mattered.

"The scrubs. Any way I could get my uniform?" John asked.

Tiny checked her watch. "All right, Major. We'll have to take you back to the bed to change. But we have plenty of time left. You up to that?"

John nodded. He didn't look forward to being shifted around, undressed and redressed by the nurses, but at the moment there was little he could do to help them. At least he could raise his arms a few inches from the mattress today.

oOo

Rodney put on his uniform. He hadn't worn it since he had come back from the disastrous rescue mission. So he was going back to Earth. He'd never thought he'd go home like that. Sent home as an invalid. A great end to his career. Well, the world of academia was still open to him. But it had been years since he had published a paper. Ever since he had gotten involved with the Stargate program his research had been classified. Only his superiors and a few people in Washington had clearance to read about his research. His career wasn't what he had thought it would be back when he had graduated from college. Working for the military on a top secret project was not what he had had in mind. But having seen Ancient technology, Alien planets and ten thousand year old spaceships, Rodney wouldn't change a thing. When he stepped through that Gate today, he'd lose it all. It would be their last trip. He'd still be the fortunate one. His experience with wormhole physics and Ancient technology made him invaluable to the Stargate program. He'd probably get a few weeks of leave and then they'd offer him a job at Area 51.

Aiden and John were less lucky. They were headed for a medical discharge and that was it, if things didn't work out. He felt sorry for Aiden. The young man had been trying so hard, but he had hardly made any progress in his recovery.

Rodney pulled on his jacket. He as ready as he was ever going to be.

He looked around his home for the last ten months for one last time and walked out the door.

The control room was filled with people. Warren, Grodin and Elizabeth were standing behind the control console talking animatedly. Next to the Gate, the group of travellers had gathered. Aiden sat in a wheelchair, dressed in BDUs. He even had his cap on. He was trying to put on a brave face, but even Rodney could see his apprehension shining through. Rodney was surprised to see Teyla standing next to Aiden, also dressed ready for a mission. Her gaze was lost in the room, but she knew he was there.

"Dr. McKay. Are you looking forward to finally rejoining your family?"

"Teyla." Rodney paused, not knowing how to answer. The Athosian had strong family bonds. "I don't really have any family."

"Oh. That must be difficult for you." Teyla said. "Aiden offered to introduce me to his grand-parents when we are on your planet. I'm curious to see Earth." Teyla smiled.

"You are coming with us?" Rodney asked.

"Yes, Dr. Weir offered me to travel to your planet with you. I'm very grateful that your people will receive me." Teyla simply said.

Rodney had more questions about Teyla and what was going to happen to the Athosian after she had left. It wasn't like Teyla to leave everything behind. But her injury had made that choice for her.

Carson and one of his nurses were wheeling in John on a gurney. Like Aiden, the major wore a brave expression, but he too radiated discomfort. Carson 'parked' him next to Aiden.

"Major, I have to stress again that I'm not comfortable with letting you go through the Gate in your condition." Carson fussed with the blanket around John. "You still got some swelling to your brain. You should still be on that IV." Carson said.

"No IV. I'm not going through the Gate with a needle sticking in me." John protested.

"Lad, you're recovering from a very serious head injury. Normally, I wouldn't let you travel through the Gate. You're not out of the woods yet."

Carson reached down for his kit and donned gloves. He prepared an IV needle and was about to set it up, when he saw John's head turned away from him. Carson hesitated; he didn't want to rush John.

It was Teyla who spoke. "Major Sheppard, let Dr. Beckett help you. You are not showing weakness because you are returning to your world injured. If it had not been for you, we would not have found the ZPM. I'm sure the people back on your planet know this."

"Lad, nobody back home expects anything from you. The SGC has all the information they need. Dr. Goodheart, the base CMO and her team is waiting for you back on Earth." Carson reassured him.

John still felt apprehensive. It wasn't so much that he was going back to Earth. In a way it beat being stuck as an invalid on Atlantis. In the Pegasus Galaxy he would be a liability to the others. The prospect of being wheeled down the ramp in front of the entire SGC, including General O'Neill was something he did not want to experience. He'd met the general only briefly, but he was one of the few superiors that he genuinely respected, not just because of their rank. Since he had gone on missions through the Stargate himself, he only respected O'Neill more. The man had gone through the Stargate for almost nine years and had lived to talk about it. John's first year wasn't even up and he was ready to be shipped back to Earth on a gurney.

"Good god, major. I read your file, you have flown MedEvac. With all the crazy shit you did, did you never once stop to consider that you could end up like that?" Rodney snapped, instantly regretting his words. His mouth would really be the death of him.

But instead of the expected explosion, Sheppard just looked up.

"You read my file. How'd you get access to that?" His voice was neutral, not indicating that he had taken offence at Rodney's outburst.

"I asked Radek." Rodney said innocently.

John only raised an eyebrow and nodded to Carson. Carson silently went ahead with setting up the IV.

"Speaking of Dr. Zelenka. Will he be joining us? I overheard Dr. Weir talking to him about returning to your planet." Teyla asked.

"He should be here any minute. I signed him out of the infirmary an hour ago. He went to his quarters to get ready." Carson answered.

"So it will be the old team plus Dr. Z." John commented.

"Yes, sir." Aiden replied, smiling for the first time that day.

Radek joined them. He looked pale and exhausted, but he too was dressed for their last mission.

"It looks like I'm the last one to arrive, yes?" Radek asked the group.

"We still have a few minutes." Rodney said.

"Sorry I was so late. I had to say one last good-bye to Kavanaugh." Radek smirked.

"Honestly I don't want to know. You all set?" Carson asked.

"Yeah, thanks, doc." Aiden nodded.

"You really did a great job, Carson. Voodoo methods aside." Rodney shook Carson's hand.

"Wouldn't be there without you doc." John said, attempting a wave.

"We appreciate all that you have done for us, doctor." Teyla bowed to touch foreheads with Carson.

"In a way, I must say I envy you. I missed Earth a lot in the time we were here." Carson said pensively and joined Elizabeth and Grodin at the computer console.

"Well I won't draw this out longer than it is necessary." Elizabeth announced. "I just want you to know, that without you we wouldn't be here today. I think that is all I need to say. Dr. Grodin, dial Earth."

The dialling sequences seemed to take ten times as long as usual. John watched in fascination as the chevrons locked one after another. This would never get old.

He stared, mesmerized, at the water-like event horizon. It was like being a kid again, when he believed in magic.

"You are good to go. Give General O'Neill my best." Elizabeth bid them good-bye.


	42. Healed

The trip to another galaxy packed much more of a punch than your regular trip through the Gate. They were expelled on the other side, the trip leaving them shaken.

On the bottom of the ramp, a group a people was waiting for them. John recognized General O'Neill, but the others were unfamiliar.

"General O'Neill." John attempted a salute, but got his arm only half way off the mattress. "Greetings from Atlantis."

Seconds later, John was surrounded by medical personnel shouting med-speak over his body. Someone felt for his pulse and he was being wheeled down the ramp. John twisted his head, looking for his team back in front of the Gate. He needed to make sure that they were safe.

oOo

John was utterly exhausted. All he wanted to do was see his team and sleep. So far, his return to Earth had been a bust.

Dr. Goodheart and her minions had rushed him from the Gateroom to the infirmary, ignoring everything he said. When one of the nurses had started to cut away his clothes, John had been close to screaming with frustration, but when he had realised that he had no way of undressing himself.

Dr. Goodheart was thorough. She seemed to have hooked him up to every thing she had in her whole arsenal. At least a heart monitor and another gadget that could account for all the leads on his temples.

When they had finally been done with him, he'd been transferred to a curtained off bed somewhere in a ward with several beds. John hadn't seen any of his team since he'd been taken from the Gate room and he couldn't see anything except the monitors and the white curtains behind them. Even if there were no prospects for him in the Pegasus Galaxy, right now John wanted nothing more than to be back on Atlantis.

"Major." The general's voice penetrated his thoughts. O'Neill stood at his bedside. "Welcome to Earth." O'Neill sat down on a chair John hadn't noticed before.

"Thank you, Sir. What about the rest of my team?" John asked.

"Lieutenant Ford and Dr. McKay are in the hands with Dr. Goodheart and her team. I believe that you met her." Jack said.

"I believe I did, Sir." John tried to smile.

"Dr. Zelenka and Teyla Emmagon have been given guest quarters here on the base. I have to say that Miss Emmagon seem to be one of the more unusual Alien women I have met. Of course, I can't speak to the Pegasus Galaxy." Jack said lightly.

"Teyla is one of the finest fighters I have met in either galaxy." John replied.

When Jack shot him a curious look, he added. "She is never been alone since the mission. She's been with one of us all the time."

"I'm not going to say that it's going to be all right, because it won't be and I doubt you'd believe me anyways." Jack said and leaned back on his chair.

"But John, life is going on. You probably noticed that already." Jack quipped.

"I can't say that I have, Sir." John whispered. He knew what Jack was trying to say. He didn't have any more answers than Elizabeth.

"There is a piece of technology in the basement of Area 51. We recovered it years ago. It's a Goa'uld healing device." Jack said.

"I know. It was McKay's idea." John said in confusion. "Aren't the Goa'uld the bad guys?"

"Yes, but they have developed the technology to heal." Jack explained.

"So, what else is there?" John asked, figuring there O'Neill was holding something back.

"The healing device doesn't cure everything. It has limits. There is also only one person on this base who can operate the healing device." Jack said.

"I don't understand." John was trying to keep up, but it was starting to blur.

"Don't worry, Major. We'll talk in the morning."

oOo

Teyla was sitting on the large bed, knees drawn up, arms wrapped around them. She had tried to meditate, but she couldn't focus. Her mind was restless and she could sense that there was something different here. The moment she had stepped through the Gate, the sensation had taken hold of her. It felt similar to the presence of the Wraith, but not quite. She had never felt this in her life.

Earth was one of the more confusing planets she had been to so far. The lack of her sign only added to it. They had stepped through the Gate and suddenly, had been surrounded by numerous people. From their questions, Teyla had been able to tell that they had been doctors. She had been taken to a medical facility and a woman had asked her a series of questions and had taken a blood sample. Teyla had asked to see her team, but the request had been ignored. From the infirmary, a man had led her to this room.

Teyla was afraid. She trusted Dr. Weir. She had promised that her people would take care of her and she had believed her. She wanted to know where her team had been taken and that they were all right. This place frightened her. She thought back of her father. _You must face your fears_. She had been frightened of the animals as he young girl but her father had forced her to accompany him on the hunt. On the night before, he had told her that fear was a valuable guide but that she had to defeat it survive.

Teyla lay down and slipped under the covers. She would need her strength for the day ahead.

oOo

John woke up to a pleasant surprise. Most of the monitoring leads were gone. He was still stuck with the IV, but he was grateful for small favours. The reality of being back on Earth was just staring to sink in. Back home. Real food again. He wondered whether they had bacon and eggs. He had missed that. He was still thinking about food when the curtain was pulled back by a blonde nurse that seemed familiar from the previous day.

"Good morning, Major Sheppard! How are you doing today?" She sounded awfully cheerful.

"I'm doing all right." John replied.

"The general wants to talk to you later. Breakfast will be along shortly." The nurse announced and reached for his wrist. After she had checked his pulse and blood pressure, she hurried off.

John looked around. The SGC infirmary was larger than the one on Atlantis. He could see a few more occupied beds at the far end, but he couldn't see who it was. It was frustrating. On Atlantis, he'd been in charged and had been treated as such, here, he was just another soldier.

Breakfast was indeed scrambled eggs and bacon. By the time the blonde nurse got around to him, the eggs were almost cold, but it was still the best thing John had eaten in months. Having to bed fed by nurse Blondie was embarrassing and slow, but at least none of his team was watching. John just hoped that device that Jack had mentioned was going to pan out, he wasn't sure he was ever going to get used to needing help with virtually everything.

Jack arrived soon after breakfast. He pulled up a chair next to John's bed.

"Major, how are you holding up?"

"Just fine." John lied.

"Colonel Carter is due to return at 1000 today. I have gone ahead and requested to device to be shipped from Area 51." Jack said and John couldn't read him. He had no idea why the general was going doing this. There were always injured soldiers at the SGC who didn't benefit from this technology. Why them?

"Thank you, Sir." Then something occurred to John. „Will the device be able to help Dr. Zelenka?"

Jack shook his head. "Dr. Goodheart doesn't believe so. But I have contacted someone who might."

John wondered who this might be, but Jack had already left.

oOo

The team from Atlantis was huddled around John Sheppard's bed. Few words were spoken; they took comfort in the presence of each other. John had explained the situation briefly, they knew what to expect. Radek had tried to hide his disappointment, but it still showed on his face. He had come to Earth, knowing that there was probably nothing that could be done for him, but now that an alien technology had given him new hope, if only for a moment, it hurt even more. He missed Atlantis. Right now, his friends were there, leaving him with a bit of Atlantis, but eventually they'd be gone. He'd tuned out the others, staring into space.

The doctor who had examined him the previous day and a blonde woman were coming towards.

"We're set up and ready." The blonde woman said.

"I'll be monitoring you during the process." Dr. Goodheart explained. "We haven't gathered that much precedent with the healing device yet, so I'd rather make sure that you are all right."

"Miss Emmagon. I'd like you to go first please. It takes concentration and energy to use the device. Your injury is severe, so I'd like to be rested." The blonde woman said.

Dr. Goodheart took Teyla by the upper arm and guided her to an exam bed.

"Please sit on the bed." Dr. Goodheart said.

"Miss Emmagon, I'm Samantha Carter." Another voice at the side of her said. "I will be using the healing device on. It's going to feel warm and you might feel tired while the device works."

"Is the healing gift common among your people?" Teyla asked. She realized that there was a lot that she didn't' know about her friends' people.

There was a pause. "No, we don't have this gift. I can use this device because of...an accident."

"All right. Now lie down." Dr. Goodheart instructed.

Teyla lowered herself and tried to relax.

"Ready?" Samantha asked.

At first nothing happened. Then a flood of warmth washed over her. Like a warm bath, it ensconced her. She started to drift and was surprised when the warmth suddenly shut off and a voice said.

"It's over." It was Samantha.

"I have dimmed the lights." This was Dr. Goodheart. "Try opening your eyes."

Teyla opened her eyes. A cascade of colours and lights assaulted her. She slapped her hand over her eyes.

"Take these." An object was put into a hand. It was pair of sunglasses. "Your eyes might be light sensitive for a few hours."

oOo

Seeing Teyla with the 'Top Gun' sunglasses had had John hard pressed not to laugh. Aiden had been next. When the young man had returned in a wheelchair, John had already feared that the healing device had not worked, but the huge grin on Ford's face told him differently. It turned out that Dr. Goodheart didn't want to take any chances before she'd had a chance to examine the Lieutenant. Dr. Goodheart made Carson seem reckless.

Rodney was next. He was apprehensive when Dr. Goodheart came to pick him up. Sam had already seen him, but still he wasn't eager to face her, looking to what he did right now. His face did look better than it had three days ago, but it still wasn't a pretty sight. Adding his bad track record with the SHC, it was not the encounter with Sam that he had envisioned.

"McKay. I never thought I'd say this, but it's good to see you back on Earth again." Sam said and blessed him with a smile.

"Likewise, it's good to see you again. And to be back on Earth again, of course." Rodney rambled.

"Sit down on the bed." Dr. Goodheart ordered. "Lie down and try to relax."

Rodney obliged. Dr. Goodheart checked his pulse and blood pressure.

"I heard you got into the field. I didn't think you had it in you." Sam commented.

"Well, you underestimated me." Rodney grinned.

"Your blood pressure is on the high side." Dr. Goodheart frowned.

"Let's get started." Rodney said impatiently. He felt uncomfortable lying flat on his back with two women looking down on him.

"If you are ready?" Sam smiled and held the device above him. She closed her eyes and focused on the part of herself that knew how to access the technology.

Rodney felt his face heat up, is if the sun was shining on him. At the same time a feeling of calm started to settle over him. His body became heavy. He must have drifted off, because when he opened his eyes, Sam was gone and Dr. Goodheart was standing near his bed, talking to one of her nurses.

He raised a hand to feel his face. Under his fingers, he felt smooth skin. There was still a bandage over his left eye, but the dull pain was gone. He quickly peeled at the tape over holding the gauge covering his eye. The adhesive pulled at his eyebrow. Covering his right eye, he saw with his left eye. The image was clear. Rodney sighed with relief.

He sat up and looked around. He could see Sam healing John with Dr. Goodheart standing by a few meters away. Rodney slid off the bed and went over to watch. Sam had her eyes closed, face taught with tension. She looked almost like she was in some sort of trance. A beam of golden light fell from the healing device onto Sheppard's chest. Rodney was fascinated. He had never seen the healing device in action. All too soon, the beam faded and Sam opened her eyes and lowered the device. Her movements were slow and she looked fatigued.

Rodney watched John anxiously. waiting for the man to open his eyes. It seemed to take forever, but eventually John blinked and his eyes slid open.

"John, can you move?" Rodney asked full of hope.

John raised his arm tentatively, first one, then the other. He made to sit up, but Dr. Goodheart pushed him back down.

"Not just yet, Major Sheppard. Not until we run further tests." Dr. Goodheart admonished.

John sighed. Sam chuckled.

oOo

"I don't believe I have seen this kind of food before." Teyla commented at the sight of ice cream. "Why would you eat something frozen?"

"Just try it! We couldn't bring this to Atlantis because it would have melted, but now that we are here, you have to try it." John encouraged.

They had finally been released from the infirmary after a battery of tests, Aiden and John were allowed on their feet again, and Rodney and Teyla were restored to full vision. After being free from Dr. Goodheart's clutches they'd headed for the cafeteria. The three men were eager for familiar foods and Teyla tagged along.

They were in a mood to celebrate. Atlantis was temporarily forgotten, as they had fried chicken and ice cream for dessert.

Teyla was eyeing the Earth dish with apprehension. She knew ice and snow from visits to alien worlds. There were no harsh winters on Athos. She took a spoon full of this ice cream and tasted it. It was colder than she had thought, but it melted rapidly in her mouth.

"So, what do you think?" Aiden asked.

"It is unusual." Teyla commented. "Is there much snow on Earth?"

"There is enough. Not right now, but in winter, it snows." John explained. "We can take you to see it, if you want."

"I don't like the snow. I have seen it on a few worlds." Teyla shook her head. "Will you be returning to your families now?"

Everyone had been avoiding the topic so far. They'd go apart. John would be assigned to a remote outpost, somewhere in the middle of nowhere, Aiden would continue his promising career at the SGC, Rodney would do research at Area 51, Radek would retire from the Stargate program and Teyla would remain with the SGC. All that would remain of Atlantis would be the memories.

"There is probably going to be a debriefing tomorrow." John said, not answering her question.

"I'm going to visit my grand-parents." Aiden said. "I grew up with them and they are my only family."

"Well, I'll go see if my neighbour hasn't killed my cat yet." Rodney joked. "Not much else to do."

"What about you, Major Sheppard and Dr. Zelenka?" Teyla asked when the two men didn't reply.

John didn't look up. "I might be going down to California. Doing some surfing. We never got to surf on the Mainland."

Teyla knew better than to ask about his family, she had learned that on Earth, things were complicated. The bond between parent and child was special. You were fortunate to have parents. Many of her people were orphaned as children. Teyla had no memory of her mother; she had been culled before she had been one year old. She had grown up with Halling. They had virtually been siblings. Their fathers had been friends and Halling's parents had died in the same killing that had killed her mother. She regretted having spent so little time with him over the last months.

"Your ice cream is all molten. You are supposed to eat it while it is still frozen." Aiden pointed out, pulling Teyla back into reality.

"Yes, I have been preoccupied. We have left so much behind. It is difficult to grasp." Teyla said hesitantly.

"I think we all have a lot to think about." Radek agreed.

"To Atlantis." John raised his glass and made a toast.

"To Atlantis." The others intoned.

END

A/N: Not really a happy ending, but there was never going to be one. I owe thanks to TJ and Shelly, who both helped out with parts and Em for the support.


End file.
